Alternate defensive weapons


January 26, 2003, 05:18 PM
Another post brought a good topic to mind. How about legal alternative weapons for defending yourself if a gun 'aint available? When I was in College, I carried a gun in the trunk of my car, but in the back seat I had a pair of soft ball cleats, a Ball glove and a 34 ounce Louisville slugger. I didn't even play softball, but I guarantee a good piece of hickory in the hands of a pissed-off redneck beats a couple of punks with buck knives. Literally. Been there, done that.javascript:smilie(';)')
wink Besides a good bat, a cattle prod was often found in the tool box of my pick-up. A good hatchet gives you some options as well. A 16-inch big ol' Phillips Srewdriver works too. One end pokes nice holes in flesh, and the other end works well as a club. ;) ;)

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Felonious Monk
January 26, 2003, 05:33 PM
I recently saw a post where somebody carried a toolbox in the backseat with a drywall hammer on top. VERY effective hatchet-like tool where the Politicritters have outlawed protecting yourself.

I'm also intrigued by the non-metallic weapons coming out; everything from CIA letter openers to batons to blades from G-10, fiberglass reinforced kydex and so on.

January 26, 2003, 05:53 PM
A Benchmade CGC7 and an ASP make good traveling companions when a firearm isn't an option.

Unfortunately, there are places in the US where even these aren't legal :fire:

January 26, 2003, 06:02 PM
I've heard G. Gordon Liddy speak about using a pencil as a weapon. No joke. He said to take one of those large diameter pencils with the hard lead and sharpen it to a razor point. It can then be used as a kind of dagger. Liddy advocated targeting the soft area under the chin, so that the pencil would be driven up through the tongue and the roof of the attacker's mouth.

Liddy is nothing if not creative.

Sir Galahad
January 26, 2003, 10:26 PM
An Estwing geologist's pick and a handful of rock samples. You can also check out the Cold Steel War Hammer for an even better device along the same lines.

January 27, 2003, 12:50 AM
I had a friend in school that used a small can of red lacquer paint. The effect is that when someone is sprayed in the face w/ it and wipes their face and sees red, they immediately think their bleeding causing them to stop attacking. She would also prepared to tell would be attackers that they should go to an emergency room and have them clean the stuff off.

January 27, 2003, 01:20 AM
Non-metallic weapons are definately interesting. I make them out of G-10 and Carbon Fiber, edged weapons mainly, although impact weapons are a possibility.
More expensive than the Zytel pieces from A.G. Russell and Cold Steel, but also a lot more durable and capable. Carbon Fiber will actually take a limited cutting edge. Its my favoured material for non-met knives.
I wouldnt try to get on an airplane with them, or inside a courthouse... the risk of being caught is too much. Although I did walk into the local Human Services building, where they have a rent-a-cop scanning people with a hand held at the door, with a non-met necker on... no one the wiser.
I would take one on the bus if I ever rode again (since at a couple stops I encountered metal detectors prior to reboarding) and would take on on the train if I rode it as well.
Generally they have a lot of potential, I think everyone should have one or two lying around, just incase.
People say they shouldnt be made, say that "we dont need this", and most people who make higher quality ones wont sell to anyone but cops, military or in some cases, paramedics. I think thats a sucky attitude and very much akin to the "Only Police and Soldiers should have guns!" attitude, and i hate to see it taking over the knife world and knife industry. I think it will be our downfall in the end. There are alreayd too many collectors and makers of fancy knives saying "We dont need tactical or self defense knives". :cuss: :fire:
Obviously I disagree and think anyone should be able to get non-met blades. I will sell to anyone I dont get bad vibes from (Yes, this is my business policy, if you give me bad vibes, I dont sell to you. haha).

If I am going somplace weapons arent allowed, I carry a Mini-Maglite in a kydex belt holder, and very often a non metallic impact tool in the bottom of a pocket. The Comtech Stinger generally. "Thats an accu-pressure massage tool, Officer."
I also walk with a crook top cane, which is a wicked weapon in trained hands (doesnt take a lot of training either).

A bandana can be used in various ways as a weapon too... I'm not as well versed in this as I would be, but get in touch with Comtech ( , ) as they have a Bandana video out.

A drywall hammer or a shingle hammer would be a great thing to keep on the top rack of a tool-box in ones backseat. Hell, I wouldnt argue too much with a regular framing hammer if it was all I had.

Another thought is the Fred Perrin Defense Wallet. Holds drivers license, credit cards, and coins... but, when loaded with coins, it doubles as a Sap/Blackjack :evil:
I'm currently trying to negotiate a trade to get one of these... they look reallly sweet.

January 27, 2003, 03:26 AM

:D :D :D

January 27, 2003, 03:51 AM
The Pulse Wave Myotron gets my vote..

January 27, 2003, 06:16 PM
being another geology student you can make some very leathal small weapons with rocks. You can make a knife with a piece of flint, just start with an oval/egg shaped piece and hammer away with another roc kat one end until its sharp enough to gut someone.

January 27, 2003, 06:56 PM
One of the most devastating weapons around is legal EVERYWHERE, no questions asked.

It's a large "C" cell aluminum flashlight. The Mag-Lite "C" cell is approximately the same size as a good night stick.
Unlike the night stick, it won't break, and is heavy enough to totally destroy somebody.

Massad Ayoob once gave a very eye-opening demonstration of this in a court case. The jury was amazed at how easy heavy wooden furniture was splintered.

January 27, 2003, 07:20 PM
Ahh yes, the good old mag light. I have a 2-D cell I keep next to my bed for those midnight jump up, grabd the gun, go see what critter is bothering the livestock moments. But I've worked with it a little to use it like a short stick.
a 3-D would be better, just havent gotten one with it.

I can break a shovel handle with a solid whack from my mag-lite, no doubts about heads or other bones. heh heh heh

January 27, 2003, 07:27 PM
Just like High Roader Chris Rhines always says, "Hit them with something solid and the Earth or a building."

January 28, 2003, 04:35 PM
Comtech Stinger -

Hand load/kuobaton: Millenium Space Pen - or

Shurefire with impact head:

Small fixed blade knife: CRKT Polkoyski/Kasper in custom sheath -

Carry the first 3 all of the time in all places.

January 30, 2003, 08:15 PM
Impact Kerambit.

Kelly Worden (

January 30, 2003, 08:39 PM
With an active imagination, anything can be a weapon. ;)

I have a cane that I carry from time to time, helps my bad knee yanno.
I can do a world of hurt with it and there are specific trainers out there who teach how to use a cane for self defense.

February 3, 2003, 02:15 AM
When I fly I keep a pair of tubesocks in my bag, along with a few heavy items that can be slipped in to make an effective flail. A billiard ball in a sock wil ruin your day.

I also carry a pair of welder's gaunlets, and some sharp pencils.

February 3, 2003, 05:24 PM
I like the tube-sock idea. I think a tube-sock full of wood-screws would work especially well.

February 4, 2003, 12:00 AM
The Pulse Wave Myotron gets my vote..
HAHA! What the heck is this thing?

Personal protection without violence!
The Pulse Wave Myotron isn’t fired like a stun gun. In fact, it’s less than half as big and five times more powerful than the best police stun gun. It works by emitting pulse waves that intercept brainwaves; controlling aggression and the voluntary muscles.

In order to tell you about the Pulse Wave Myotron, this writer watched a demonstration video taped in front of CIA, FBI and Justice Department representatives. They broke out in applause after a female volunteer used the Pulse Wave Myotron on a career criminal volunteer. (He instantly fell back, collapsed and remained incapacitated for over 15 minutes. Yet he recovered completely within 30 minutes.)

Because it does not cause serious bodily harm, the U.S. Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms does NOT classify the Pulse Wave Myotron as a weapon, so you can carry it legally. Totally maintenance-free, 20-year lithium battery never needs to be charged or changed!

NEW! Black Widow Myotron. Introducing the 25% more powerful offspring of the original Pulse Wave Myotron. The new model also features a classy look with gold plated trimmings.
Not sold in District of Columbia, Florida, Hawaii, New Jersey, New York, Massachusetts, Michigan, Rhode Island or Wisconsin.
Please check your local law enforcement bureau for legality in your area.

Crime In America
All sorts of infomercials routinely appeal to the greed, vanity, and laziness inherent in fallen humanity. But Crime in America, the infomercial of the Myotron Pulse Wave, unabashedly plays into the fear of being a victim of violent crime. The producers must have said to themselves, "We're gonna peddle terror and we don't care who knows!" And they use lots of hokey dramatizations to drive home the point that the Myotron will protect you. The cheesiness of these scenes combined with the melodrama of the appeals makes Crime in America my pick for the #1 funniest infomercial of all time!

Right at the start, the program airs a warning that "Viewer Discretion May Be Advisable" because of the "Explicit Material." Several crime statistics are then rattled off to convince the viewers of the near-certainty of their getting raped and murdered in the next few minutes. Stepping in front of the camera, the host asks solemnly, "See if you can find yourself, or someone you know, in any of these situations." What follows is a montage of fear: ominous, frantic, synthesizer music plays–>newspaper headlines like "Woman Robbed By 2 Armed Men" and "Rape Called 'Enormous' Problem" flash across the screen over a quick succession of portrayals of vicious crimes–>a woman is pulled into an alley and gang-raped by a multi-ethnic group of thugs –>carrying a bouquet of flowers, a man knocks at a door and then violently grabs the girl who answers –>a pervert behind some trees leers balefully at co-eds on the campus lawn–>the covers of a People magazine headline "Rape, Shame & Fear" and a Newsweek with Jeffery Dahmer's picture emerge from the screen–>a woman is seized and dragged into a van as she leaves her aerobics class–>a blubbery brute of a dad mercilessly beats his daughter with a belt as the mother tries vainly to stop him–>a Peeping Tom stares rabidly at a showering woman–>in a 911 call a hysterical lady tells of the stranger who has broken into her home–>This montage ends with a close-up of a black-and-white photo of California serial killer "The Nightstalker," followed by a scene of someone being wheeled into an emergency room, and the flat beep of death. The purpose of this grisly montage is to make the viewers hide under their beds and wet their pants in fear of all the "crime" that threatens them. These producers ought to be making MediScare ads for the Democrats.

The rest of this infomercial alternates between a panel discussion and ludicrous dramatizations of the Myotron Pulse Wave in action. On the set the host interviews a "career criminologist," a "veteran instructor of self-defense," and a past president of Colt Firearms, who insist that mace, martial arts, and guns are worthless but that you can rest assured with "the new science of pulse wave technology." The panel also features two crime victims to convince the viewers that getting raped is unpleasant. Through questions from the host and the audience we learn how this "product of the space age" works: upon being attacked you press a button and thrust this contraption against the body of your assailant; the pulse then "intercepts the brainwaves and scrambles the nervous system" and the attacker "will simply collapse and be immobilized," leaving you free to go about your business. So the Myotron works like a stun gun—even though these experts vigorously deny that it's anything so crude as a "stun gun." The Myotron attaches to your keys, and you supposedly have to lug this thing around everywhere you go if you want to fend off crime: indeed, one of the victims on the panel swears that she sleeps with one under her pillow. To make it easier for you to spend the rest of your existence hauling this mechanism around, it comes in your choice of black or ivory.

However, the greatest source of laughs in Crime in America comes from its wholly unbelievable dramatizations. In one, a frail elderly couple are sitting on a park bench when a burly Latino thug and his black companion step up to them threateningly. "You old people sit on my bench, you're gonna have to paaaay," the Latino, who sports a black dew-rag decorated with skulls, informs them.

"We don't want any trouble," the old biddy squawks out.

"Y'all run along and play," her crotchety husband adds.

The thug responds (and I quote), "What's this jive he's talkin'? 'Run along and play'?...You better give me your wallet, mister, or I'm gonna rearrange yo' head."

"I'll bet you'll want my car keys, too," the old man graciously offers—just before zapping his assailant with a Myotron. As the criminal plunges backwards, his black accomplice does a wide-eyed double take and then ploddingly flees. The expression on the black guy's face is precious—you half-expect him to cry, "Feets don't fail me now!" before scurrying off.

Another dramatization features a woman alone in an elevator when a Bob Guiccione-type, with gold chains dangling over his hairy chest, pushes his way through the sliding doors. Synthesizer guitar licks—the kind of music featured in porn videos—plays. Once securely inside, the man proceeds to rub his hand up and down the woman's ***.

"Get your hand off me," she tells him with high dudgeon.

"Hey baby, you and me can party," the sleazeball invites.

"I'm telling you for the last time, bozo: Get you hand off me." When the pervert refuses to comply, she takes her Myotron and aims it right at his overheated testicles.

The scene cuts to the outside of the elevator. The doors slide open and the man inside writhes on the floor in pain. An old lady waiting outside asks the woman, "What happened to him?"

"Oh, just a little attitude adjustment concerning women," she responds as she struts off with her head in the air.

One might think that, even if the Myotron worked as promised, these people who had been nearly made the victims of rape or mugging would be at least a little shook up. But no. They make wisecracks and even cross their legs casually as their would-be attackers lie prostrate only a few feet away.

The infomercial's final dramatization perfectly blends the grim and the uproarious. Two sisters, Arianne and Alexia, spend a happy afternoon shopping for Alexia's upcoming wedding, but on the drive home their car gets a flat tire. This must happen on some country backroad and they must not have been able to do anything about their situation all day long, because the scene immediately cuts to nighttime. The bright lights of a big pickup truck blare through the darkness, and two fat, drunken rednecks descend, wielding their half-empty bottles of Jack. The two sisters desperately lock their car doors to keep out the hicks, who press their white beer-bellies against the window and shout seductively, "Open that door, woman!" One of the hillbillies smashes the car window with a rock, and they drag the two women into the woods.

We are then told that Alexia is now confined to a mental institution; she cannot speak but only stares into space all day, reliving the horror. The dead body of Arianne was found by a man; that man then dedicated his life to helping people protect themselves and ended up creating the Myotron.

In the infomercial's denouement, the host says, "Since we began this documentary, over 2400 crimes have been committed." This thing—the most tasteless infomercial ever—a documentary??

One note: Later airings featured an edited version of the Crime in America infomercial. The Park Bench and Elevator dramatizations were replaced with boring testimonials. They might as well have torn down half the Parthenon to put in a McDonalds! The edited version is still worth watching but it doesn't match the hilarity of the original.

Crime in America, the infomercial of the Myotron Pulse Wave, is a classic, a laugh riot from the opening disclaimer to the ending small print, and far and away the most ridiculous infomercial ever broadcast.

February 4, 2003, 04:03 AM
I hear these steering wheel lock thinggies don't stop the thieves??? One look at this puppy and I'd have to say they are wrong! It is not designed to be a weapon and it belongs in a car. Can't see where too many cops would accuse anybody of having a weapon on board. How fast would this thing break a bone? Yeowzers!

February 9, 2003, 03:44 AM
Here is a highly interesting device which has many applications and is very PC.
This little gadget appears to be made out of the same material as the impact kerambit but it was originally intended to carry grocery bags! It looks like a cross between a kerambit and a defensive knuckleduster.

June 15, 2003, 05:49 PM
After all, it's already in your hand. The stone knife has always fascinated me. Anybody know of a good book, or, better, video on how to make them? [obnoxious adolescent mode:ON] I wonder if anyone's ever boarded a plane with a lump of flint, a piece of deer antler, and a cane and walked off with a spear?:evil: "Honest, officer, it's my homework for Anthropology 101" (I can be SO immature!):D

El Tejon
June 15, 2003, 07:33 PM
When a gun is not available? Perish the thought!

Use a flashlight as a kubotan on a commerical plane. Still prefer not to fight, run away.

June 15, 2003, 07:42 PM
Where to start here is the problem. Others alternatives have included things in the car, I believe defensive tools need to be on us to be useful.

1. How about a belt and good solid buckle.
2. A manrikkigarrote, though it may be illegal in some places.
3. An appropriately made key chain as a flail.
4. Comtech Stinger on a key chain or neck chain
5. A roll of quarters
6. a small dowel in the back pocket [ yawara stick ]
7. How about a knife? Nobody mentioned one, yet they are obvious and whether restricted or not as to blade length, one can with the proper training use a small folder quite effectively.
8. Pens, good, very good
9. My jacket/shirt wrapped around the arm to fend off a knife with no other training
10. A stick off the ground if in the right area.
11. A rock
12. A bandana/handkerchief with some training
13. Last but not least, your brain is the ultimate weapon. All others listed are implements used by the brain in a way that defends in some manner through the 6 P principle.


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