A non-firearm weapon for social engineering...


January 27, 2003, 02:36 AM
Ya know, this idea has been teasing me for a few years, and I think it might just work.

What California needs is a few hundred Siberian tigers.

Yes, the big fuzzy kind, with stripes, big teeth, and large retractable claws.

Why? Easy, think of the benefits of introducing a super predator to the Golden State. One, the wild boars that now span the state are too big for native mountain lions - the tigers will do a nice job controlling the boars and protecting the roots of our grape vines.

Two, the worst thing about California is there's just about four times too many people here as there should be. Besides the obvious advantage of tigers thinning the herds of sheeple, those folks who do have enough sense to pack a gun while hiking will soon demand a repeal to our onerous gun laws.

I think it would be a fine idea, myself. Offer up our state as a refuge for the largest of the cats. The tree huggers and PETA folks will at first demand that the tigers stay on the protected list. Drop a few hundred of the big cats into the coastal mountain ranges, and the Sierra foothills - in a few years the wild boar will be fewer in number, and the numerous Californians who dislike guns will suddenly have a change of heart. Population growth will surely cease, as our population finds other states more "attractive".

Give it fifty years, we'll be down to about ten million people, land will be cheaper and wilder, and the gun laws will be gone.

What do ya think?


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January 27, 2003, 03:19 AM
I **LOVE** Tigers.

I REALLY want one.

This thread made me realize: I'll feed it liberals!!! :D :D :D

When I get a Great Dane, I'm going to feed it little rat-dogs like little toy poodles, chihuauas (sp?), basically any non-puppy dog that can be carried in a purse, pocket, and that shakes a lot. :evil:

January 27, 2003, 03:20 AM
Oh, and I think you have a FINE idea there, sir!!! :D

January 27, 2003, 06:18 AM
I've got a GreatDane and she lets my Pug and Doxy push her around. Good luck getting one to eat a poodle. But I'm all for the tiger idea, maybe they'd spread to other areas like Mass. We could feed them Kennedy's (or is that Kennedi?)

January 27, 2003, 08:07 AM
I'm just thinking how funny it's gonna be when a Shih-Tzu, Fox Terrier or Dachshund chases Drjones Great Dane out of the room... :D

Oh, yeah... the tiger idea... I heartily approve! Where can I donate?

Ron L
January 27, 2003, 04:19 PM
Sorry to burst your bubbles, but there's a flaw to the plan. :(

Let's consider the animals rights folks that are left complaining about the horrid diet you'd wish upon those poor animals. Since most of them are already lawyers, there'd be a problem.

Most importantly, Liberals are totally unpalatable. What little taste they have is often sour and bitter. I don't even think a starving tiger would eat one of them. You'd have to make them roll around in their pork barrels to hide their true flavor. Oh wait! They're already rolling around in the pork. There may be some hope left. :neener:

January 27, 2003, 06:34 PM
As one of the few "Native Californians" left around, I'm afraid that all Texans will have to be put on the "approved tigerfood" list. ;)

January 29, 2003, 01:35 AM
I think Siberian Tigers are endangered.

You need some "Tactical Black" Panthers. They would blend into urban enviroments much better.:D

January 30, 2003, 12:01 AM
How 'bout white tigers?

White with black stripes. (And THE MOST GORGEOUS ice-blue eyes I've ever seen!)

Urban camo colors!!! :D

January 30, 2003, 02:02 AM
I think tigers would fit the bill quite nicely!:D

August 13, 2003, 06:20 PM
This is a cool thread and I just wanted to bump it!!!


El Tejon
August 13, 2003, 10:41 PM
When I saw "Jurassic Park" in grad skul, I thought that something similar could be done with raptors. Train them to deliver mail or pick up trash in the parks and turn them loose in New York City, D.C. or L.A.

Certainly couldn't hurt!:D

Sir Galahad
August 13, 2003, 11:14 PM
Actually, the thing to do would be to set up a front organization with some smarmy name like "Save The Planet NOW!". Then you launch an ad campaign that shows shots of smokestacks belching soot, cut little bunny rabbits limping over mounds of garbage, starving children with distended bellies and flies crawling all over their faces, you know the routine (usually you see Sally Struthers afterwards wheedling for money.) While this is being shown, you have a calm, soothing voice sayng: "See what you're doing to the planet? This is because of overpopulation. You should jump off the nearest bridge, but be sure it's not into a fragile ecosystem. If you can't do that, then the very least you can do is sterilize yourself. Do not have children." Then show more heartstring-tugging shots of Serbs herding old grandmas holding cherubic-faced tots into concentration camps, little deer caught in ferocious teethed leghold steel traps, bulldozers the size of a house pushing huge mounds of garbage into pristine wetlands, you know the deal. Then cap it off with: "Only YOU can prevent YOU. Sterilize yourself today." Well, of course all the liberals will line right up for the campaign (we'll use a catchy name to attract them, too--- "Snip To Save The Planet!") In one generation, the problem will disappear. Especially once the pool of brushy-headed liberal public school teachers doesn't ave kids to carry on the family indoctrination business.

"Allll we are sayyyy-ing...is give a snip a chance..."

"Won't you please sacrifice your gonads for the planet?"

August 14, 2003, 02:59 PM
tex_n_cal wrote: What California needs is a few hundred Siberian tigers I love this idea. All the wild animals in our area have finally been eradicated (deer and coyotes). Re-introducing some rugged predators would be great!

Sir Galahad wrote: ...the very least you can do is sterilize yourself... among a few other nice ideas.

The only trouble is that liberals want YOU to do things THEIR way. THEY don't want to do anything! It's ALWAYS about making SOMEONE ELSE change.

August 15, 2003, 02:43 AM
Of course, in lieu of Siberian Tigers, I could also go for Grizzlies. The California Grizzly bear is extinct, but surely Alaska wouldn't mind us having a few hundred Kodiaks? Same result, probably.

The bears might be even more effective at opening houses to eat lawyers.

If they actually manage to re-create wolly Mammoths from ancient DNA, maybe the Cave Bear could be next? :evil:

August 15, 2003, 12:34 PM
One of my coworkers is really into fuzzy critters and volunteered to cubsit a bunch of tiger kittens. She said they're really adorable but can be way too much maintenance. She said it's like taking care of a human child....

Too bad, urban camo tigers to match my Strider would be :cool:

I wonder if pet skunks get along with tigers? I mean, they both look like striped housecats :D

Tigercubs...CDI off the chart!

August 15, 2003, 01:35 PM
What do ya think?
I think this idea sucks!!

Where do you think all those "Liberals" will flee when tigers are allowed to roam free in Kali? Well?

Yeah.. you guessed it... They're all going to head up here!! :banghead: :mad: :cuss: *mumble,mumble* :cuss:

Sir Galahad
August 15, 2003, 11:20 PM
I actually had an idea that someone could turn California into a eugenics proving ground.

August 16, 2003, 12:30 AM
Oh Phooey, Schuey, they'll go to France:evil:

August 16, 2003, 10:10 PM

Congratulations, Sir! A truly great thread postulating how one can, with the humility that "political correctness" deserves, "cull the herd." As your method is more acceptable than mine (reinstitution of dueling), I'll be happy to support any move to help return Kaliphornia to a stable, 40,000BCE human population level. However, I'd like to have notice of the experiment's start date, time, and initial locations spread across the state- in American English. Those that could read (AND understand) would have adequate time to acquire the proper weapons and/or vacate the territory. Those that remain, would help feed the insatiable maw of applied science... Remember the late Senator S.I. Hiakawa of California, and of San Francisco State University? He believed that American English should be the law of the land... I'm brewing some fresh coffee now, and will, with all due ceremony, toast his memory... Great American, patriot, educator, and aficianado of the tam-o-shanter- great conservative Republican, too. Wonder if he would have a love of blades too...

Regards and Respects,

Carter, oldpaladin, out...

August 21, 2003, 11:04 PM
We could sequence the DNA of the critters from the La Brea tar pits. The original North American fauna was a lot tougher than puny Siberian kitties. How about a pack of Dire Wolves, or a horse-size Plains Lion? Today's economy-size wolves and lions can serve as host mothers. It's all for ecology!

Of course if we bring back every ecosystem ever known we'll need millions of planets, but that's why NERVA and ORION were invented.

August 21, 2003, 11:16 PM
prolly need saber tooths to "can opener" all those traffic jammed Camrys

August 21, 2003, 11:19 PM
>prolly need saber tooths to "can opener" all those traffic jammed Camrys

Cave bears could flip them on their back and pound them open with rocks, like sea otters do abalone. It could be a tourist attraction.

August 27, 2003, 09:26 PM
Darwinism has been outlawed...so we need an evolutionary boost!
I like the indea of reintroducing something.....large and hungry....but the pastywaists will scream for police protection...and the legislature will naturally then have to outlaw the poor hungry critters eating humans(a problem solved by Releasing the first batch in the house of legislature whilst in session, they will Relese something into their undies....'sir, I do not know how those doors got locked and chained, really!).
I believe the sabretooths' sabre teeth were too brittle for Camry's. The tourst attraction bear beating sounds like a good candidate for america's home video, though. And the thought of Oprah or Rosie coming face to face with a large cave bear is quite humorous! Can we somehow convince Bill and Hillary to show up?
I really like the idea of Raptor's though....having to think and be REALLY aware(for a change) will add to the human gene pool(as nature subtracts the less evolved) in terms of mental gymnastics and physical vigor.
Perhaps we can create a preserve where those lifer's in prison who have proven unfit for interaction in human society can 'take vacation' in the preserve(heck, give 'em a knife... as in Swiss Army!! Haha). We can record the event by chopper for future televised viewing pleasure(?)(Monday Night Survival and use the available commericial breaks to attract additional brain/body donors), get rid of a tax loss, recycle a waste of genetic material and feed the critters at the same time!! The Preserve needs to be financially self sustaining, you understand!
We can even arrange tour bussed groups of life long welfare recipients, United Nations 'Fact Finding' tours, and advertise in France (hey, we might get lucky!) to the Endangered Preserve(we won't tell them WHO is endangered!)
It is a new boon to the Corrections institution too, those convicted of terminal stupidity get an automatic sentence....Three Strikes and You Are FOOD!(or bear/tiger/raptor scat to be more precise)
New signs at Nat'l Parks....'Please Feed The Animals'. If they are stupid enough to think a bear is a cuddly cute critter, we are better off as a species if they do feed the animals.
Hmmm. It would make California a REAL interesting place to live once again, instead of advoiding reality.. the phoney fake, liberals and political know it all's....including most of the Hollywood(another good place to Release say about 20 semi trailer loads spread out, of course) noisy do-gooder's there. That puts them in quite a quandry.....hurt the poor endangered critter, or STAY ALIVE?
Ohhh, a Release at the Academy Awards....televised and all....where you get to see additional surgeries done dirt cheap!!!!
Make a smorgesbord!!! Invite all the lovely people that backstabbed the US of A to a free trip to Disneyland.....combined with invitations to all the anti gunners...neglecting to mention the Release planned latter in the evening(about supper time!). Disney makes a nice enclosed, controllable area!
American Land Of the Free Or Land Of the Scream!
Well, the CIA has a new mission. Recommision some of those old 'Boomer' subs, gut out the missle tubes, retro fit with a series of Raptor cages, and genetically enhanced, quick mating Raptor's; Inflitrate and Release in the overcrowded areas of the world..China, Brazil, India, Mexico(hey, why should we have all the fun?) and the countries that have messed us over(What critter would survive well in a Saudi Desert?).
One threat to the United States equals one Raptor Sub, shoreside service.
Think I'll order my .460 Rowland kit from Clarkes Custom Guns, two cases of ammo and a Dillion Press now before the get scarce! Now I gotta reason to hotload the Ruger Blackhawk .45! Been drooling at the Marlin Guide Gun's too! A case of Brenneke slugs just made it to my Christmas list!!
Ahh, to dream of 'wilder' days!
Thanks, guys!

August 27, 2003, 10:15 PM
YES! That's the perfect plan!!!:D

August 30, 2003, 01:40 PM
Indeed interestipating.:)


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