Just another victim!


December 29, 2002, 10:06 AM
By John Leo at TownHall.com (http://www.townhall.com/columnists/johnleo/jl20021216.shtml)

Everybody is a victim now, but some creative breakthroughs in victimology are more noteworthy than others. The year's best example was the trio of supersized teenagers who sued McDonald's, claiming that management had made then fat by enticing them to eat at the burger chain nearly every day for five years. Here are the best of the rest of 2002's social victims:

Ugly people are victims of the media. By featuring mostly beautiful people, TV and other media are causing eating disorders, psychological problems and cosmetic surgery among the ugly, said Trond Andresen of the Norwegian Institute of Technology. He says the bias is similar to racism and suggests TV quotas for the facially impaired.

Robert Torricelli is a victim of hard-hearted America. The ethically challenged ex-senator from New Jersey acknowledged "mistakes" but blamed American culture. "When did we become such an unforgiving people?" he asked. "How did we become a society where a person can build credibility their entire life and have it questioned ...?"

Schoolchildren are victimized by the game of tag. Elementary school principal Pat Samarge of Santa Monica, Calif., says the game causes both emotional and physical injuries, particularly a loss of self-esteem, since not all children can win.

Rioters are victims of beer ads. Boisterous TV beer commercials may have spurred the recent wave of college riots, said alcohol-control specialist Henry Wechsler of Harvard. These ads, he said, threaten "the thin line between such beer-powered exuberance and the onset of rioting."

A model was victimized by his Winston ads. Raymond Leopard of Little Rock, Ark., is suing R.J. Reynolds Tobacco Co., saying he experienced years of stress from appearing as the "Winston Man" in ads from 1978 to 1980. He said he didn't know at the time that tobacco was dangerous.

Australians are victimized by car ads. A possible ban on many car commercials, including one featuring a child saying "zoom, zoom" as a Mazda speeds by, is under debate by legislators in the Australian state of Victoria. The theory is that if cars are driven slowly in ads, or simply shown while parked, many accidents could be avoided.

Publicist Lizzie Grubman is a victim of the people she mowed down. When Grubman backed her Mercedes into a crowd outside a Hamptons nightclub, her lawyers said, the resulting injuries were "caused in whole or in part by contributory negligence, comparative negligence and/or culpable conduct" of those she hit.

A 16-year-old hockey player was exposed to intense psychological pain when he failed to win his league's most valuable player award, according to his father, Michael Croteau of New Brunswick, Canada. So the father is suing the league for $300,000. The suit asks that the MVP award and the playmaker award be removed from the two winners and given to Steven Croteau, the disappointed son.

A Somali warlord was victimized by the movie "Black Hawk Down." Though he hadn't yet seen the film, Osman Ali Otto said he was incensed at his screen portrayal and is thinking of suing.

Schoolchildren were victimized by a word that sounds a bit like a racial slur but isn't. After Stephanie Bell, a fourth-grade teacher in Wilmington, N.C., used the word "niggardly" (stingy) in class, she was forced to apologize to parents, then counselors were dispatched to comfort her students.

Disabled people are victimized by Quasimodo. To avoid hurting the feelings of those with scoliosis and other disabilities, a British theater company changed the name of the play "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" to "The Bellringer of Notre Dame."

Californians are victimized by cue chalk and chocolate. Citing California's 1986 law requiring warning labels on dangerous chemicals, creative lawyers are suing over the unlabeled toxins in electrical tape, lightbulbs, game darts, hammers, cue chalk, terrariums, Slim-Fast and chocolate, which contains traces of lead.

A dead giraffe's privacy was threatened by prying reporters. When The Washington Post asked to see the National Zoo's medical records of a beloved giraffe after its death, the zoo said that viewing the records "would violate the animal's right to privacy and be an intrusion into the zookeeper-animal relationship."

Your dog and cat are victims of Christians and Jews. Eccentric Princeton bioethicist Peter Singer said the biblical message of mankind's dominion over animals leads to "speciesism" -- the wrongful conclusion that humans are more valuable than other creatures.

Atheists are victimized by believers. The National Secular Society of Britain complained that Colin Powell and President Bush have been disrespectful of atheism. A Colorado man wrote a letter to The Washington Times saying that atheists are targeted by vandals and falsely accused of conducting human sacrifices. "So many of us are in the closet," lamented one spokesman at the Godless Americans rally last month in Washington, D.C.

That's it! I'm suing the gun manufacturers! I'm a victim! If they didn't make all this cool stuff, I wouldn't constantly feel compelled to buy it!

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December 29, 2002, 10:41 AM
the news media, for clogging the airwaves (public property), with visual and verbal excrement.

Can get most politicians for similar (lesser included?) offenses. Plus false advertising. Is there a law covering failure to perform on a social contract?

December 29, 2002, 10:58 AM
How about the illegal aliens who crash our California border, drive recklessy down the freeways (exposing all the legal citizens to danger) then, suing the local Cops, after getting a rap in the teeth! With plenty blood sucking American trial lawyers lining up in droves to take the case. Try crashing the Mexican border, and see what happens to you...

Larry :rolleyes:

December 29, 2002, 11:11 AM
I feel victimized by the victim mentality and have a desperate wish to take legal action against those who sue.

Sometimes I feel like a tail-chasin' dog.:eek:

December 29, 2002, 11:22 AM
It makes me wish I was a victim of something so I could sue. I know, mabe I could sue the DNC for mental anguish for blaming southern conservative white males for all of the world's problems.

Art Eatman
December 29, 2002, 01:24 PM
Well, trespass around my place and I'll endeavor to create a serious case of true Victimitis.

:D, Art

December 29, 2002, 03:25 PM
According to this article, I must be a vicitim. How could I not be ??

(As I chew on an Egg McMuffin)

Anyone want to join me at a meeting of Vicitims Anonymous? :D ;) ;)

December 29, 2002, 05:28 PM
Victims are pathetic, and anybody seeking victimhood is deranged.

December 29, 2002, 05:33 PM
Hey, I'm victimized by the way you said that...

December 29, 2002, 06:08 PM
IMHO the reason noone wants to take responsibility for their actions can be summed up in 3 words. TOO MANY LAWYERS.

What do you call 100 lawyers going over a cliff in a bus?

December 29, 2002, 06:11 PM
Can't do that... after all, the NRA says "Refuse to be a victim"!!! :D

December 29, 2002, 06:45 PM

December 29, 2002, 06:45 PM
Somehow, somewhere society changed the questions to fit the answers. I wasn't raised like some are today.
I recall at a very young age being told "it all boils down to money and sex"... the basic reason why humans do what they do.
Old GF dad said "only reason some folks got more than I do--they owe more than I do".

I think some just don't have a work ethic, seeking an easier softer way, and society has allowed them to.

I can't sue the Firearms Mfg's...no money after Tamara gets through with her collection ;)

Jason Demond
December 29, 2002, 07:16 PM
I want to sue Tamara, for making me realize I was a victim of this thread. I didn't want to post, but you made me!:(


December 29, 2002, 07:39 PM
I want to sue Tamara.... Why? All she's got are her guns and knives, she knows them all intimately, and she's very attached to them (emotionally speaking), while several of them are attached to her literally.

If you try to take any of them away from her by force or compulsion, she just might show you why she's got them....

December 29, 2002, 07:53 PM
Tamara would win the suit, AND keep her collection ( mfg's wouldn't want to be re-sued for pain and suffering...)

Before long Tamara would own all the Firearm mfg's and we [being the THR's we are and all] would reap the benefits...ta da

December 30, 2002, 12:22 PM
For giving me the capability to burn countless hours reading the gun boards, getting nothing else done, especially at the OFFICE!!

And I'd also sue Dell for the countless pounds that are added to my waistline, due to that same surfing, sitting in that VERY COMFORTABLE chair at my computer desk!! It's comfortable for a reason!!

Master Blaster
December 30, 2002, 02:52 PM
I'm a victim too, I have a case of tortitiss, that is a fear of being sued because there are too many lawyers looking for a way to make a fast buck.

The result is that I have to consider my every action as it could result in my being sued.

I want to hire a lawyer and sue the American Trial Lawyers association because they have caused me anxiety in every facet of my life.

They have caused me to buy copiuos and previously unescesary quantities of insurance.
They have driven up the prices of every product and service we buy.
They have turned this country into a society of Januses, looking behind us in fear to see who may sue us, and looking forward to see if we can hit the jackpot by suing someone else.

They have come close to putting the medical profession out of business due to law suits, after all everyone a doctor treats will eventually die.

Thats my rant.


Calamity Jane
December 30, 2002, 06:15 PM
ARGH! I don't think there's anything in the Declaration of Independence about Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Victimhood......

Jason Demond
December 30, 2002, 06:29 PM
I am a Victim, I tell you. Somebody feel sorry for me!

4v50 Gary
December 31, 2002, 02:05 AM
Miserable cowboys always had horses and I didn't even get a pony as a child. To add to my misery, besides maing movies, these cowboys showed up on TV too.

We were so poor, we didn't even have a little red wagon.

That's it! Time to start a Victim Support Group. Since the attorneys failed to protect me and help me get my pony or little red wagon, I suggest the first suit to be filed is against the Trial Attorneys' Association.

December 31, 2002, 06:26 AM
And I've heard that there is a supposed shortage of lawyers in this country. I'm glad that I never did go through with my plans of law school afterall. But then again, there is definetly a shortage of pro gun lawyers out there for sure.

December 31, 2002, 10:53 AM
TV quotas for the facially impaired. :D :D :D :D :D :D
TFL Survivor

December 31, 2002, 02:09 PM
Hey Tamara, I'm ugly as sin, who can I sue?:)

2nd Amendment
December 31, 2002, 02:58 PM
Your parents? :neener:

December 31, 2002, 02:58 PM
i'm victimized by all these other victims who have sob stories to tell/sell. they keep rubbing my nose in the fact that i am normal (somewhat) and dont have as many problems as they do.
i want to sue all the victims who victimize me and prove how much better off i am than they are.

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