It's all about me


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Khornet
February 22, 2003, 12:08 PM
IT'S ALL ABOUT ME

A joke circulating on the Internet these days compares a liberal and a conservative father escorting their families back to the car at night after a movie. The father is armed. A crazed-appearing man with a knife emerges from an alley way and threatens the family. The liberal's first thought is, "Did I do something to offend this guy?" He wonders whether the man is oppressed or disadvantaged, whether he could just hit him with the pistol butt, whether he could allow the man to knife him while the family escapes, and on and on. The conservative response: BANG!

A caricature, of course, but all caricatures require a grain of truth. What distinguishes the two responses is who the father thinks of first. For the liberal, it is himself: did he provoke the situation, would he be wrong to defend his family, is he prejudiced against the attacker in some way? As for the conservative, it could fairly be said that there is no thought at all. His loved ones are threatened and he acts immediately without worrying about his motives.

It's a little-remarked phenomenon, this narcissism of the liberal mind. The first object is to be in the right, to be seen as acting from pure motives, and never to be guilty of acting in self-interest. This is where we get the pomposity of Jimmy Carter, concerned more with being perfectly fair than with protecting Americans. It also drives today's peace movement: confronted with the possibility of America going to war, the peacenik's first thought is not whether Americans are threatened; instead it's an introspective navel-gazing inquiry as to whether we ourselves are free from sin. Like the teacher's pet eagerly waving his hand, the peacenik is proclaiming his righteousness more than his rightness.

In an earlier column I remarked that the peace activists are operating on feelings rather than thought. But maybe that's backward: when confronted with a crisis, the liberal falls into convoluted self-analysis while the conservative takes immediate action out of love. Perhaps both are operating on feelings, but it's the liberal's feelings about himself versus the conservative's feelings about others.

This plays itself out in the debates about the war. All the liberal arguments are like the first father in the joke: it's a war for oil and greed, America has created her own enemies, we're losing the respect of the rest of the world. The supporters of President Bush, by contrast, are looking outward. They're talking about the oppression of the Iraqi people, and the threat not just to America but to all mankind.

We can argue all day about whether bin Laden is the fault of American oil tycoons, but in the end it's irrelevant. The man with the knife might indeed have a just grievance against the father, but it does not follow that the father must let his family be slaughtered. The slogan of the peace movement isn't really " No War For Oil". Their banners should be reading " It's All About Me."

Khornet

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Malone LaVeigh
February 22, 2003, 01:10 PM
The reason this parable doesn't work is that the immediacy of the situation described in the scenario doesn't exist in our current military situation. I would counter with this more realistic story:

A man is escorting his family down the street. He and all but the smallest of his children are wearing body armor and armed to the teeth with weapons that could literally level the entire neighborhood. He looks over into an alley and spots a small, scrawney character he recently tricked into a fight and thoroughly thrashed. Surrounding the scrawney character are his neglected and abused family. The man spots a small bulge in scrawney character's coat that he suspects might be the damaged remains of the .25 cal. Phoenix auto he tried to use last time they fought. He has reason to believe perhaps one or two rounds of ammunition might have survived the fight.

The man's wife says, "Dear, we ought to do something about SC's poor family." Some of the man's kids say, "Yeah, waste 'em!" Other kids say, "No, you'll likely hit some of the kids." Add the complication that at least one of the man's kids was probably fathered by SC.

Now, standing on the nearest corner is a social worker and Deputy Fife. No match for our man, of course, but more than able to handle SC and more likely to do it without hurting anyone.

I don't have much use for the terms "liberal" and "conservative," especially in this context. But what would YOU do?

trapshooter
February 22, 2003, 03:54 PM
I've got a better analogy, with two variations.

Version 1:

You see a rabid dog running loose in your neighbor's pasture, chasing his kids. Do you shoot it, or call someone else to come take care of it, hoping that no kids get bit. The only Animal Control person available is the one from PETA.


Version 2:

It's your dog.

BigG
February 22, 2003, 04:33 PM
Ha ha, I got another alternative. We offer a free plane ride to guys who spend too much time gazing at their navel. :D

grampster
February 22, 2003, 04:48 PM
Malone made khornet's point!:p

Baba Louie
February 22, 2003, 04:50 PM
Malone,

You kill me...crack me up...great analogy BTW...

trapshooter,

interesting...

How about in version 1:

"You see a rabid dog running loose in your neighbor's pasture, chasing his kids. Do you shoot it, or call someone else to come take care of it", knowing that its killed thousands of his adopted/foster kids in the past, in fact it went over into two of his neighbors yards and severly altered their lives for awhile.

In fact, to further confuse the issue, your own Uncle S. gave him some dog food during the time said rabid dog was biting the first neighbor's kids (cause you didn't really like that neighbor to begin with...he'd terribly insulted your family earlier)... but when his dog got loose on neighbor number two, who you do business with... well, you step in and knock that nonsense off, sending rabid dog scurrying home, but you don't kill it (darnit anyway).

You, and the rest of your neighbors, tell him to destroy the darned dog. Over and over and over. You call animal control. They can't find that dog, but we all know it's there somewhere and eventually he kicks out Animal Control and/or they leave in disgust.

Years later... A sympathetic friend of your rabid dog owning neighbor, who keeps some pretty mean dogs himself, begins hanging out and giving advice, taking advice. In fact you know that they've put their heads together more than once and whispered mean somethings (you suspect with reasonable certainty) to each other, calling YOU the bully of the neighborhood until one day the sympathetic friend actually attacks your playground, killing some of your kids. Cheers from his relatives all over the neighborhood.

All heck breaks loose.

You go after sympathetic neighbor with a huge bat. Some of his kids escape to your rabid dog owning neighbors yard, still whispering mean somethings. You know he never REALLY got rid of his rabid dog. He's now got sympathetic friends as allies and is stirring up all of the others of his ilk. And there's still that dog...

Some would have you do nothing except call in the Animal Control again. And Again. And AGAIN. They'd say since your Uncle S. helped him earlier its your families fault anyway.

Right Malone?????

Version 2: (There is no version 2)

My own dad would probably go over there with a shotgun and blow any dogs he finds away. Maybe the dog owner too, if he showed his face.

My dad's a bad guy (not really, Dad) where his kids are/were concerned. He (in real life) did something VERY similar to one of the neighbors when said neighbor verbally assaulted me and my sisters when we were younger. I've never seen a 5'-5" guy (Dad) thump a 6 footer in the chest since; telling him to pick on someone his own size, like my Dad.

The Lesson I learned?

Protect that which you love. At all costs.

Strike first?

Hard Call.

Continue the feud?

Ask the Hatfields, McCoys, Clantons and Earps.

History loves a winner.

We love our freedom(s).

Its all about me... and my freedom.

Or maybe I'm wrong.

Adios

Khornet
February 23, 2003, 09:53 AM
in paragraph two, it's a caricature....as are all the other scenarios put forth here. But a caricature requires a grain of truth, and I wanted to explore that particular grain.

jmbg29
February 23, 2003, 11:48 AM
February 22nd, 2003 09:08 AMAssertion made.February 22nd, 2003 10:10 AMAssertion confirmed. 1 hour and 2 minutes! Congatulations Khornet! That has to be a record! :D ;)

Sandi who?:p

Blackhawk
February 23, 2003, 11:55 AM
I agree with your original point, Khornet.

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