Blissninny Alert


September 30, 2004, 01:20 PM
The guy is paralyzed, in bed alone, while a bear ransacks his home and falls asleep in his living room and he "...does not want to see the bear shot..."

Wow. He's been 'invaded' a half a dozen times and 'feared the bear would attack him' - and yet he does nothing to protect himself. Unreal.

Bear ransacks kitchen, steals chocolate
Thursday, September 30, 2004 Posted: 7:37 AM EDT (1137 GMT)

DENVER, Colorado (Reuters) -- It's a tale of man against nature. A paralyzed man in Aspen, Colorado, lay helplessly in bed for two hours while a black bear known as "Fat Albert" went through his kitchen breaking dishes and looking for a tasty snack.

"I had 4 pounds (2 kg) of chocolate from a ski trip. He ate it all -- it's war," Tom Isaac said, recounting with a sense of humor how the 500-pound (230-kg) bear made himself at home at his house on September 20.

"I could hear things breaking for two hours," he said of the bear's "visit" to his home.

Isaac's bedroom was only about 10 to 15 feet (3-5 meters) from the kitchen, and he feared the bear would come in and attack him.

This time of year bears are busy fattening up before going into hibernation and residents in mountain towns often recount stories of rummaging bears.

In fact, Isaac, who has been paralyzed since a skiing accident in the early 1980s, says his home has been invaded nearly a half dozen times by the bear Aspenites call "Fat Albert."

"The next afternoon the wildlife agents found him sleeping in my dining room," Isaac said.

Isaac, who holds elective office as the Pitkin County assessor, said he does not want to see the bear shot, but he is worried about how the needs of residents can be balanced against the needs of wildlife.

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El Tejon
September 30, 2004, 01:31 PM
No doubt a zombie bear who studies ninjitsu, breaking into the house like that.

Maybe we need to have a fundraiser to raise some money for a rifle? I make a mean oatmeal, walnut chocolate chop cookie.:D

Of course, being THR we could never agree what rifle and what caliber or whether to shoot the stupid critter in the first place.:D

September 30, 2004, 01:45 PM
One of the reasons that I left Colorado ....... :rolleyes:

Harry Tuttle
September 30, 2004, 02:08 PM
do bears have the same chocolate consumption issues that dogs do?

mayhaps Fat Albert's liver will soon explode

September 30, 2004, 03:08 PM
Joking aside for a second, this is really dangerous behavior that this bear is learning.:eek:

another okie
September 30, 2004, 03:24 PM
Even my wife would be willing to shoot anyone or anything who stole her chocolate.

Headless Thompson Gunner
September 30, 2004, 03:29 PM
If this guy wants to allow a large, dangerous, hungry animal, with great big teeth and claws, to rumage around in his house while he lays paralyzed in the next room, well I guess that's his choice. We do live in a (nominally) free country.

Personally, I'd prefer the bear to be my food, not the other way around. But I suppose we should all have an open mind, and allow for different points of view.

September 30, 2004, 07:38 PM
I wonder how he would feel about being ransacked 6 times by a human
home invader?

He would probably leave out cookies and milk.:rolleyes:

Standing Wolf
September 30, 2004, 09:17 PM
...he is worried about how the needs of residents can be balanced against the needs of wildlife.

I'm sure the bear's very concerned, too.

September 30, 2004, 09:58 PM
Thanks for posting this one! Currently in Maine we are facing an
upcoming referendum on the November ballot which bans certain
types of traditional hunting using, baiting, dogs and traps.
Our Inland fish and Game is definetly against this proposed
initative which was forced on the ballot by out of state interests.
All our State Biologists dread the potential problems should this

September 30, 2004, 10:08 PM
No doubt a zombie bear who studies ninjitsu, breaking into the house like that.No doubt a zombie bear who studies ninjitsu, breaking into the house like that.

As my Google Image Search for "ninja bear" was largely unsuccessful, I'm afraid I have nothing to contribute to this topic...Other than the fact that I wasted time looking for pics of ninja bears.

El Tejon
September 30, 2004, 10:21 PM
Zero, old joke from TFL. The bear zaniness got so bad that one of the now THR moderators inquired as to the type of gun needed to combat undead zombie bears who know ninjitsu.

The bears are all around us.:uhoh:

Don Gwinn
September 30, 2004, 10:41 PM
Uh, am I the only one wondering how severe this guy's paralysis is? I mean, you guys going to send a quadriplegic a rifle and a stern note admonishing him to man up and shoot himself a bear?

September 30, 2004, 11:16 PM
Isaac, who holds elective office as the Pitkin County assessor

Not trying to sound insensitive or anything...but if he's the county assessor he's either 1) not totally paralyzed or 2) guessing on everybodys property tax? :scrutiny:

October 1, 2004, 04:07 AM
How do you think he got elected?:D

October 1, 2004, 01:15 PM
Doesn't the 2nd Amendment say something like " keep the bears...?" :neener:

October 1, 2004, 01:38 PM
It's the guy's own skin. Let him cohabitate with bears if he wants to, but if this bear spends any more time in his house, they may become common-law husband and wife.

Even if I didn't want bear-face shot, I'd at least toss a CS grenade into the kitchen.

EvilOmega, good one.

October 1, 2004, 01:44 PM
I'm sure Fat Albert is really a good boy, who is in the process of turning his life around. :p

October 1, 2004, 02:41 PM
That man is going to be eaten, no two ways about it. And you know bears--they don't do the clean kill. It might well decide to start on his leg for awhile or his backside and nap for a bit.

El Tejon
October 1, 2004, 03:49 PM
Don, we won't just send him a rifle!:eek: We have to pay for it first of course! That's the purpose of the bake sale.

However, in summary, yes, man up and kill the stupid critter. Far sight better than what they usually do--sit around in dirty clothes, barefoot and play folk songs to soothe the savage beast.:rolleyes: :D

October 1, 2004, 05:51 PM

October 1, 2004, 10:03 PM
Hmmm....let's see....dipstick in bed watching tv and eating chocolate....falls asleep....Fat Albert can't find chocolate in kitchen....

Wonder if he's made out his will yet?

October 3, 2004, 12:32 AM
This wouldn't be the same bear that drank 36 cans of beer just recently?

Seems to me this is an example of people valuing animal life greater than human life. And so the deterioration continues.

4v50 Gary
October 3, 2004, 12:49 AM
People eaten by the animals?:uhoh:

October 3, 2004, 01:33 AM
I'm sure his view would change if some day fat albert was feeling a bit know that they say about eating chocolate... :D

Good Shooting

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