What A Liberal (Really) Thinks


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Desertdog
October 2, 2004, 09:22 PM
What A Liberal (Really) Thinks
http://www.insightmag.com/news/2004/09/27/Politics/WhatA.Liberal.really.Thinks-739270.shtml
By Michael P. Tremoglie

The idea that liberals are concerned, compassionate, altruists, and that conservatives are evil and greedy is being promoted by Democrats and their mainstream-media acolytes. The purpose of this is to convince the electorate to vote for Democrats, who are the representative political party of liberals, because it is they who are concerned about all of us - not just certain special-interest groups.

This caused me to rethink liberal ideals and determine just how altruistic they are. After all, if it can be shown that these claims of altruism are false then people should be aware of the hypocrisy of the liberals.

During this process it occurred to me that I am a modern liberal (instead of a classical liberal). I never realized it before. However, when reviewing the issues that are dear to the compassionate, concerned soi-disant guardians of our morals, our civil rights, and our laws that is the only conclusion possible.

Unlike most liberals, I will not couch my beliefs by calling myself a moderate. I will not say, as Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-California) and John Kerry do, that I am mainstream. After all, the purpose of being a liberal is to tell the mainstream what they should think. Liberals know the masses are too stupid to act in their own best interests. As one of the left's icons, Felix Dzerzhinsky, founder of Russia's notorious Cheka, once wrote about the Russian peasants, "They are so ignorant that they have no idea what is in their interests."

After reading these issues that define the modern American liberal you too will conclude that you concur with liberals.

Pro-choice? You bet! I think people should have the choice to send their kids to parochial or private schools just like many public school teachers, Democratic Party politicians, feminists, and New York Times' journalists do.

Anti-death penalty? Absolutely! I don't think a baby in its ninth month should be executed.

Civil unions? Sure thing! I think all unions should be civil. There probably would be fewer divorces if they were. Fewer divorces means fewer welfare programs.

Gun control? Indubitably! You definitely need to control the gun when shooting a murderer.

Redefine families? You got it, dude. The only time Northeastern liberal newspapers use the word family is to describe the mob.


Prayer in schools? Forgettabout it. If kids studied like they should, they wouldn't have to pray before exams.

Separation of church and state? Absolutely!!! As it is right now, religious institutions - especially parochial and other religious schools - are subsidizing public school districts across the country. If all those students in religious schools were sent to public school, every school district in the United States would have to triple its taxes to pay for the influx. Parents of students who go to private religious and parochial schools are subsidizing school districts and therefore are paying an indirect tax. This is unconstitutional!

Freedom of dissent? Right on! Conservative students and faculty should be allowed to express their beliefs.

Affirmative action? No doubt about it. The ACLU, NOW, and the Sierra Club should hire black executive directors immediately. The network news anchors of Brokaw, Jennings, and Rather should be replaced by blacks, Asians, Hispanics, and or women.

No limits for lawsuits? You know it. I think lawyers should be sued every time they file one of those frivolous lawsuits.

Rehabilitation for criminals? Unquestionably! I think judges who place dangerous criminals on probation should be sent to a prison facility to be rehabilitated.

Equal Rights for Women? Undeniably, women should have to prove that they should be awarded custody of kids in divorce cases just like men do.

More social programs? Certainly! The greatest social program a nation can provide for its citizens is to keep them safe and free.

It is amazing that all this time I was a liberal and did not know it. Realizing what we have in common, I want to invite my fellow liberals to join me, and work together to make this country truly a place where everyone can thrive and be free.

In other words vote for George W. Bush.

Michael P. Tremoglie is a freelance writer, working on his first novel. He is a member of the American Society of Criminology and the Intercollegiate Studies Institute.

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Standing Wolf
October 2, 2004, 09:36 PM
Clever!

mountainclmbr
October 2, 2004, 09:43 PM
So, when are you running for office? Can you oust mafiosi Pelosi?

Moparmike
October 3, 2004, 11:10 PM
:D :D :D :D :D :D

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