Do they send your CCW to your house?


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BHPshooter
October 16, 2004, 11:57 PM
In about 2 months, I will be 21 and I will be getting my CCW. However, it is imperative that it not come in the mail to my house.

My parents are nosy. They love to open my mail for me and read it, and when they don't, they will be all over me to see what it was. Did I mention they were nosy?

My parents are not too hot on CCW, so if an envelope from BCI comes to the house addressed to me, that thing will be opened so fast it will cause a sonic boom, and then the defecation will hit the oscillation, as they say.

I need an "incognito" way of obtaining that wonderful little card, when the time comes. Can I just ask the BCI to hold on to it and let me come and pick it up?

ANY advice is much appreciated.

Wes

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AK-NOW
October 17, 2004, 12:10 AM
Thefumegator,
Not sure about your state, but here in Indiana the state police mail the CCW to your home address. You might look into a P.O. box.

Zrex
October 17, 2004, 12:27 AM
I swear I'm not trying to be mean or anything.

Go get the Concealed Carry License and dont worry about the parents. Honesty is the best policy. If you can't be honest with them, maybe you shouldn't be living with them.

berettaman
October 17, 2004, 12:38 AM
First thing you need to do is grow a pair! Your parents need to be informed that opening mail that is not their's is a federal offence.If they don't respect your privacy it's time to cut the apron strings.I'm not suggesting you disrespect your parents but it looks like it's time to grow up and move on.Sneaking around behind their backs just shows the immaturity that doesn't suggest confidence in someone carrying a concealed weapon.

Valkman
October 17, 2004, 01:19 AM
I think I would've had the option of picking it up if I wanted it, and the CCW Dept. has also called me to pick up Class 3 docs after they've been signed. This is in Vegas, but if you ask nice they might let you know when to come get it.

Hopefully you can get your own place soon! :)

BHPshooter
October 17, 2004, 01:35 AM
Hopefully you can get your own place soon!

You have no idea. ;) My friend and I are actually flirting with the idea of getting a bachelor pad... I can dream, can't I?

Wes

Hkmp5sd
October 17, 2004, 01:42 AM
Get a PO box. You should be able to list your residence on the application and use a separate mailing address for the paperwork.

cthulhu138
October 17, 2004, 01:54 AM
Their roof, their rules.
Your roof, your rules.

You're 21.

Nuff said.

joeoim
October 17, 2004, 02:01 AM
Here in Colorado where I live every county had their own individual procedures. I had to go to the sheriffs office to pick mine up as I had to sign it before it was laminated. Everything has since changed and I'm not up on the new laws.

I suggest you give your sheriff a call and ask to talk to someone about the CCW permit procedures. They can tell you.

They will have to photograph you for it, and then you will have to sign it. I don't know why they would then have to mail it, but you need to ask your issuing authority to know for sure.

Good Luck

Joe

JamisJockey
October 17, 2004, 07:42 AM
They are delivered to your address.
Get a PO box.

SapperLeader
October 17, 2004, 08:13 AM
Thefumegator - I would get a PO Box, and start sending more sensitive mail to that box. That way, your parents can open to thier hearts content the credit card applications and junk from schools, and your ccw permit and any further paperwork will arrive safe and sound at the po box. Theres no reason your parents need to know if you have a ccw permit. From several of your previous posts, it sounds like they would be likely to advertise it to the world, and violate your privacy. I realize its thier roof their rules, but its also your life.

George S.
October 17, 2004, 09:59 AM
Mail addressed to an individual cannot be opened by another. Federal law. Your mail is your personal property and your parents should respect that. It sounds like you need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your folks about your privacy.

Moving out is a big step for some people and it comes with a lot of responsibility that is mostly financial in nature. All of a sudden you have bills to pay and things to buy: rent, electricity, gas, food, toilet paper, and whatever else. Paying bills promptly helps to establish yourself as responsible and dependable. Don't pay the rent and the manager tosses your stuff out on the sidewalk. Don't pay the light bill and the TV doesn't work anymore.

As far as your CCW goes, if it's in process and it is supposed to be mailed to your home, it will probably be in an envelope marked as coming from the jusrisdiction that issued it. This may set off your folks as from what you are saying, it will set them off. Again, it's your mail and they can ask about it but they should NOT open the envelope.

If you have worries about them seeing you have a CCW, what are they going to say if they find a weapon in your room? What are their opinions about firearms in general and handguns in particular?

A PO box may help if you remain in your parents house but it sounds like you need to discuss bigger issues with your folks first.

rick_reno
October 17, 2004, 10:19 AM
Here (Idaho) we go to the licensing part of the DMV to pick them up. The county sheriff mails a letter notifying you to go to the DMV.

armoredman
October 17, 2004, 10:32 AM
Ditto mail issue - Fed offense. You are over 21, so a legal adult, and your mail is inviolate. If they refuse to see this, get a print ut from US Postal Service website, or local law library, and ive them a copy. Then GET OUT! What else of yours are they rifling whilst thou art away? find a cheap apt, and get gone. Also, don't fall into the "bachelor pad/part den" attitude when you do get out - getting drunk and stupid is a great way to lose that shiny new CCW forever.

Red Rook
October 17, 2004, 11:03 AM
As some othes have said, there are some critical breakdowns here.

1. Privacy. If your parents want you to live there they must at some length respect your privacy (no opening of mail, no going through your drawers, no opening your door without knocking etc.) It seems there needs to be a heart to heart with the P's and let them know that while it seems to them that its within their right to be opening your mail etc., this must stop.

2. Responsibility. You are 21 and looking for a quote "incognito way of obtaining that wonderful little card." This in itself is logically flawed. Is it your parents that believe you're not responsible enough to own and legally carry a gun, I don't know. If you think you are responsible enough and must utterly hide the fact you carry, this needs to be addressed. Don't flaunt the fact that you have a ccw but I wouldn't go to such measures in your own home to avoid a conversation about your rights as an individual.

3. Adulthood. I think that maybe you need some time to reflect and decide what's important for you. I don't know your situation but if I was 21 and being deterred from my intentions and aspirations because my Mom and Dad are 'nosy' and go through mail marked County Sheriff's Office, it might be time to make some tough decisions.

Good Luck!

Smoke
October 17, 2004, 11:15 AM
Chicken or egg?

Do you hide things from your parents because they are nosy...or are they nosy because you hide things?

As others have said, it may be time to move on. If the folks are against you have a License...how will they feel about a firearms in their house? Where will you keep it? Do you have a safe? Do you really plan to carry? How often? Will this be a secret kept from the folks?

Sounds like it time for you to move out....or live by their rules. Having a CCW is the ultimate sign of responsibility. You don't sound too responsible yet. Sorry.

Smoke

mete
October 17, 2004, 11:36 AM
Your parents have the right to say -no guns in the house ...Your parents have the right to throw you out of the house . You have the right to leave...Doing things behind their back that they don't like is a sure sign of immaturity. Hope you get it all staightened out in your mind soon. Immaturity + ccw can get you into very serious trouble !!!

MICHAEL T
October 17, 2004, 11:44 AM
If you don't have a job, get one. Then move I have 5 kids my two oldest were out of the house shortly after they turned 18 I was out of the house 10 days after I turned 18 and my wife shortly after she turned 18. You can work ,live away from home and still go to school. Its hard but I belive you will be a better person for it.Why because you earned it,and it was not handed to you. If all else failes join the military . They let you play with all kind of neat toys. That might be you answer, FUN TRAVEL ADVENTURE and you get your own place and paid to. My son with the 101st and lives very well. Has his own room and Mustang rag top.Has money saved for school . Just got back from a 7 day cruise with his GF.:D :D

outfieldjack
October 17, 2004, 11:53 AM
Here in SC it is illegal for someone to Concel Carry in ANOTHER PERSON'S HOUSE without express permission from the HOME-OWNER. So while all of you are harping on his parents openning his mail, you might also consider the fact that without his parents permission, he cannot CCW in THEIR house without THEIR permission.

Your 21, time to grow up and move out.

Zach S
October 17, 2004, 01:19 PM
Considering its his place of residence as well, I dont think it would be a legal issue.

BHPshooter
October 17, 2004, 03:07 PM
If you have worries about them seeing you have a CCW, what are they going to say if they find a weapon in your room? What are their opinions about firearms in general and handguns in particular?

They know I have guns and they grudgingly accept that I am so into them. I wouldn't consider them anti -- both of my parents own several guns -- but they are totally against CCW. I have argued with my Dad about it before, and he says there's no reason to carry a gun, that it's "only for egotists." Yet, he has no problem with keeping guns for defense in the home. :scrutiny:

I honestly think he's only against it because I'm interested in it. I've discussed all this before, however, so if you want to read the whole thing then you'll have to search for it.

Also, don't fall into the "bachelor pad/party den" attitude when you do get out - getting drunk and stupid is a great way to lose that shiny new CCW forever.

Fear not. Neither of us drink, party, et cetera. Apparently my idea of a bachelor pad is different than most. ;)

Chicken or egg?

Do you hide things from your parents because they are nosy...or are they nosy because you hide things?

Who said I was hiding anything? I want my privacy concerning my CCW to avoid conflict... if I was hiding something, don't you think I could figure this out by myself? Why would I be asking?

You don't sound too responsible yet. Sorry.

Just how do you figure? Is it because I don't want to argue anymore? I don't want animosity between myself and my parents? Or is it because I've made up my OWN mind about something that effects only me?

How does that make me irresponsible again?

Wes

Sistema1927
October 17, 2004, 03:31 PM
I am the father of a 25 year old daughter who has been married and away from home for awhile, and a 23 year old son who moved back in with us for a brief period following college graduation, and who has now moved out of state.

We haven't received any mail for our daughter in some time now, but I certainly wouldn't have opened any of it. If we receive something for our son, we will describe the envelope to him, and only open it and read it to him over the phone at his direction. Otherwise, we stick it all in another envelope and mail it to him.

He is 23, is a college graduate, and has a right to his privacy. Your parents need to recognize that as well.

That said, I think you have a couple of choices:

1) Put up with their intrusions into your privacy as the price you pay for living under their roof.
2) Try to continue to live there, but tell them that they can't open your mail. (Good luck!)
3) Sic the Postal inspector on them for Federal Mail violations (once again, good luck!)
4) Get a P.O. Box.
5) Move out. (I hear that the military will give you "3 hots and a cot".)

I guess it all depends upon your priorities.

Smoke
October 17, 2004, 04:33 PM
Who said I was hiding anything?

You did. "...it is imperative that it not come in the mail to my house."
"I need an "incognito" way of obtaining that wonderful little card"

Your words. If you cannot discuss openly with your parents that your are obtaining a CCW and receive the thing in the mail, then Yes, you are hiding something.



Or is it because I've made up my OWN mind about something that effects only me?

Ahh yes, the "affects only me" thing. Let's see, you will be caring a weapon in their house. You are currently living in their house.
Probably eating their food, and not helping with their bills. Others are affected.

If I have presumed to much and you are paying them money to help with room, board and bills...then I apologize.

Move out.

Smoke

Trebor
October 17, 2004, 05:50 PM
Intercept the mail and remove the permit while you bring the mail in. Hey, it worked for report cards, didn't it?

Akurat
October 17, 2004, 05:53 PM
As harsh as it is, Smoke is right. Time to break the chains. You might be in school...working...whatever...But you are 21, and an adult. Take a stand or move out.

Car Knocker
October 17, 2004, 07:43 PM
outfieldjack said:

Here in SC it is illegal for someone to Concel Carry in ANOTHER PERSON'S HOUSE without express permission from the HOME-OWNER. So while all of you are harping on his parents openning his mail, you might also consider the fact that without his parents permission, he cannot CCW in THEIR house without THEIR permission.

Whatever gave you the idea that South Carolina law prevails in Utah or that Utah law is even similar to your laws? Your "fact" is not a fact here!

tc300mag1
October 17, 2004, 08:01 PM
Here in michigan I had to apply and pick up mine at the county building but they did send me a letter telling me to pick it up

GoLambo
October 17, 2004, 08:05 PM
Apparently you’re not an adult until your 30, make at least 50'000 a year, and have your own family.

Good to know! This means I can stay a little bit longer here at my parents house until I can achieve that goal, and that certainly take’s some weight off my back! And I don’t have to worry about any of those silly pies in the sky CCW ideas until then.

Lay off him a bit, okay guys? Life has to be taken in baby steps, and sometimes circumstances are beyond your control. I work, full time, 5 days and 42 hours a week. I cannot even come CLOSE to being finically secure enough to move into the cheapest apartment you can find here, so maybe that isn’t an option.

Nonetheless, you shouldn’t try and hide this thing from your parents. It’s going to come up eventually, and your going to have to deal with it. Take a stand and make your case. Explain responsible security on your part cannot possibly be harmful to anyone, ego doesn’t even play into the picture. If your family can’t accept you being responsible enough to carry, I think you have more issues to worry about then trying to hide your mail.

I know it’s a bit OT, but sometimes it seems like a lot of members on this board have unrealistic expectations of young people. Like we grow up in a vat, instantly ready to deal with everything life throws us, put out or get out. I’m sorry, but most of us real people have to grow up the hard way.

Smoke
October 17, 2004, 08:47 PM
Apparently you’re not an adult until your 30, make at least 50'000 a year, and have your own family.

Absolutely not. Only when you're solely resposible for yourself. Income has no bearing on responsibility other than - you have one.

Wes is not independent yet, until he is; he is subject to his parents wishes and encroachments. I agree that his parents should respect his privacy, including not opening his mail. However, his actions do affect everyone in the house. Just being 21 does not make you an adult. I know kids that are very independent and mature at 18, others don't make until 30....some never do.

I just think if his parents have a problem with him getting a CCW he should put it off until he is living independent of his parents.

Life has to be taken in baby steps But strapping on a gun is pretty danged big step.

Your next to the last paragraph is dead on the money...I couldn't agree more.

Smoke

P95Carry
October 17, 2004, 10:17 PM
I am privvy to more info than most of you - and can see some unnecessarily harsh judgements being metered out.

I won't go into details but suffice it to say, Wes has solid grounds to wish this process kept under wraps. This goes way beyond the ''being under same roof'' deal.

Wes ..... some useful suggestions have been mooted .. I think either PO box or .. preferably .. a request to go collect. The fact that your folks open your mail both bothers me .. and angers me, still. That is IMO inexcusable.

Here in PA it is collected ... right there in Sheriff's Office.

psyopspec
October 17, 2004, 10:20 PM
To each his own, but I have to say I support those who suggest moving out. I'm not one of the old, wise members of this bored who'll complain about the state of young people today; I'm 21 next month, have been out of the nest (and financially independant) since 18, and started ccing soon after.

The new slant I want to introduce is this: aside from age or maturity, IMO there is an issue of respect that comes with living under the roof of another. If I were to fall on hard times and had to live with a friend or relative for a spell, I'd consider it within their rights not only to know that I have guns under their roof, but that I CCW; after all, there's a difference between arms kept locked away for hunting or occasional sport, and a concealed, holstered pistol at the breakfast table. I know most of us support the concept of castle doctrine, and with that comes the belief that the 'kings or queens' have a right to know what's going on in their home. Yes, concealed is concealed, but remember this is private property that the owners have been gracious enough to share with you, and if there's a difference of opinion on your personal life that affects those property owners I'd have to side with them over you.

Cut the cord, get a job and a place, or sit down for a mature heart to heart with the rents and iron out the ccw. Good luck.

Amish_Bill
October 17, 2004, 10:55 PM
In GA they mail it to you. In PA (at least as of a decade ago in one specific county, they mailed you a notice to come down and pick it up.

I'd push the idea of a PO box. For privacy reasons, maybe a PO box in an area the parents don't frequent. "Son - why were you at such&such postoffice last Thursday" is a conversation that can be avoided. From what you've hinted at, they open EVERYTHING of your mail? yes.. the PO box is looking better and better for you.

BHPshooter
October 18, 2004, 12:36 AM
Here in PA it is collected ... right there in Sheriff's Office.

PA keeps sounding better and better. Say, you don't work in the Chamber of Commerce, do you Chris? :p

I appreciate all of the applicable advice. It sound like a PO box is the only option within reach at this point.

5) Move out. (I hear that the military will give you "3 hots and a cot".)

Thanks for the advice, but the military won't take me on medical grounds. I've tried. I have been trying to find info on defense contractor jobs, though. Can anyone point me in the right direction?

You did. "...it is imperative that it not come in the mail to my house."
"I need an "incognito" way of obtaining that wonderful little card"

Sorry for being unclear, but I don't turn 21 for another two months... I haven't even applied (I can't). I thought I mentioned that. At any rate, I haven't hidden anything yet. I'm just weighing options here.

If I have presumed to much and you are paying them money to help with room, board and bills...then I apologize.

Apology accepted.

My greatest concern with "Señor El Fumegator" is that he has turned this CCW thing into an issue, and he's wedging it down his folks' throats.Either they accept it, or else, apparently.

You couldn't be more wrong. I've never forced anything down my parents' throats, and the only times we've ever discussed it was when they brought it up. I have never mentioned my intention to get a permit, have never even brought it up, and have never been forceful or obstinate about the issue.

My parents are not against ME carrying a weapon, they are against EVERYONE BUT POLICE carrying weapons. So if their wisdom is so bleeding irrefutable on the issue, you're not responsible or mature enough to carry a weapon either.

Wes

BHPshooter
October 18, 2004, 10:20 AM
3. You say that the 'rents are not against you carrying, but just against anyone but the police carrying. If they're against everyone but the cops carrying, that includes you, doesn't it?

They're not against ONLY me carrying a weapon, they're against everyone carrying a weapon -- meaning not just me, but you too! How is that so hard to understand?

How are you managing to link their wisdom to what you perceive to be my level of maturity?

The same way you're linking it to mine.

I'm lost in the machinations of your logical processes, really I am.

Then I think you could call us even. Is there even any point to what you're saying, other than to start a flamefest? All I see from you is insult after insult.

I think this thread is done. Thanks to all those who offered advice.

Wes

Jay Kominek
October 18, 2004, 12:51 PM
Everyone is jumping on this poor fellow and accusing him of immaturity for things he hasn't even done yet. You're all utterly full of it if you claim that you no longer even think about doing things which are bad ideas. Rather, you now (perhaps) possess the sense to recognize and discard bad ideas before acting on them.
I didn't even catch the part where Thefumegator said he was going to carry in his parent's home. Maybe he'll keep his carry gun locked in his car and put it on in the driver's seat. Come on, there are all sorts of possibilities here. Maybe the reason he wants to carry is because the individual(s) causing him to fear for his life (if there are particular ones at this point) are acquaintances of his parents?
Who knows? Thefumegator. Not me. And probably not any of you, either.
Why would immaturity and irresponsibility, two things that plague some young adults, be factors that they would attribute to me?
Perhaps they realize that wisdom and age are only weakly correlated.
Age is only guaranteed to bring you closer to being dead. Everything else is entirely optional.

That said, moving out is still good advice.

Sistema1927
October 18, 2004, 01:06 PM
Jay,

"Everyone"??

That is a bit of a broad brush.

Jay Kominek
October 18, 2004, 01:11 PM
That is a bit of a broad brush.
Yes, "everyone" was certainly hyperbole on my part. But I think those who were will realize they're legitimate targets of "everyone", and those who weren't will realize that it wasn't directed at them.

jetman
October 19, 2004, 10:04 PM
Here in Ohio you have to go back to the Sheriff's office to sign for your license. They called me saying I was approved and to come down to sign for it to pick it up..... so I did.

AimSmallMissSmall
October 19, 2004, 10:48 PM
You should get a PO BOX anyway. Have your driver's license/registration, insurance, credit card bills, AND your CCW permit sent there, just for the security of someone not stealing things out of your mailbox.

In addition, no one can trace you to your residence, in the case of your wallet missing/stolen.

Just a good tip that many in law enforcement have told me, when I was your age. ;)

Zundfolge
October 20, 2004, 12:20 AM
You said that your folks think that nobody should be able to carry, except for the police, and then said that by that standard I, too, would be deemed insufficiently mature and too irresponsible. That sounds like projection.
At the risk of speaking for "Señor El Fumegator" I think his point is that his parents aren't opposed to him carrying because they don't think he's mature/careful enough, but instead oppose him carrying because they are bleedin' Antis!

So it doesn't matter if he lives with them or not, they are going to object to his owning and carrying guns period.


"Señor El Fumegator" has been posting for almost 2 years in these forums so many of us here know him (and are familiar with his situation with his anti-gun parents). Overall he's shown himself to be more mature then your average "kid" and based on his posts (caveat: which is only a slice of a picture of him) I don't think he's to immature to carry.


I agree he needs to find a way to get out on his own, however I don't think his living at home disqualifies him from being a responsible gun owner.


Fumegator, I do believe you are trying to "play the technicalities" here ... they have not expressly told you not to get a CCW and carry, but you know they are against it ... much like I'm sure they have never expressly told you not to pour gasoline into the toilet and toss in a match ... but you know there'd be hell to pay if you did.

I think you'd be better off just telling them that you plan on applying for your CCW when you turn 21 even if that forces them to expressly forbid it (in which case I'd follow the "their roof; their rules" approach) but then I'd start looking for a way to get moved out.

BHPshooter
October 20, 2004, 12:27 AM
Thanks for the advice. Thanks Jay, Thanks Zundfolge.

Yes, I agree I need to move out. Trust me, it's my biggest goal. I've actually been talking to a friend about getting a place together. It'll be good to live around someone pro-gun.

I'll let you guys know if it plays out.

I'm also looking into the PO Box. Thanks again for the advice.

Wes

El Rojo
October 20, 2004, 12:58 AM
I appreciate your seeking advice here Fumegator, it was a wise move. Your situation makes me appreciate my parents. Most of my handguns are in my dad's name and they never said anything when I got my CCW at age 22. Of course, I lived on my own then, but all of my correspondance was still going to their house. My mom used to half jokingly say as I did dry fire drills in the living room, "You are scaring me, you and all of these guns." That might have been because of my stupid butt shooting a hole in the front window when I was 20 or 21. Most humbling moment of my life was that ND experience. But that is another topic.

Good luck and remember that if you do get your CCW, it should make you more non-confrontational and mellow. AKA you should never have road rage or any other type of aggressive behavior. I think of speak softly and carry a big stick. If it doesn't, re-evaluate what you are doing and what you are doing it for.

Kharn
October 20, 2004, 09:00 AM
When I got mine (Florida, not valid in MD, but thats another issue), I told my parents it was like a "good guy card" in case I ever got pulled over going to the range I shot at in Virginia, it would help put the cops at ease as my being legal or not even if I wasnt carrying a handgun. You might try a similar explaination.

Kharn

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