McDonnell Douglas (Er, gun) Warrenty information


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BlackArrow
February 26, 2003, 07:11 PM
I'll probably get a locked thread for this but what the heck we all need a laugh!

McDonnell Douglas Warranty Card Information

Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to
protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the
warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not
required, but the information will help us to develop new products that
best meet your needs and desires.


1. Title
[_] Mr.
[_] Mrs.
[_] Ms.
[_] Miss
[_] Lt.
[_] Gen.
[_] Comrade
[_] Classified
[_] Other

First Name: ............................................

Initial: ........

Last Name:..............................................

Password: .............................. (max. 8 char)

Code Name:..............................................

Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ......................

2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase?
[_] F-14 Tomcat
[_] F-15 Eagle
[_] F-16 Falcon
[_] F-117A Stealth
[_] Classified

3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day):
......../......./......

4. Serial Number: ........................................

5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:
[_] Received as gift / aid package
[_] Catalogue / showroom
[_] Independent arms broker
[_] Mail order
[_] Discount store
[_] Government surplus
[_] Classified

6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell
Douglas product

you have just purchased:
[_] Heard loud noise, looked up
[_] Store display
[_] Espionage
[_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
[_] Was attacked by one

7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most
influenced your
decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
[_] Style / appearance
[_] Speed / maneuverability
[_] Price / value
[_] Comfort / convenience
[_] Kickback / bribe
[_] Recommended by salesperson
[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
[_] Advanced Weapons Systems
[_] Backroom politics
[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat

8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product will
be used:
[_] North America
[_] Iraq
[_] Iraq
[_] Aircraft carrier
[_] Iraq
[_] Iraq
[_] Middle East (not Iraq)
[_] Iraq
[_] Africa
[_] Iraq
[_] Asia / Far East
[_] Iraq
[_] Misc. Third World countries
[_] Iraq
[_] Classified
[_] Iraq

9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or
intend to
purchase in the near future:

[_] Color TV
[_] VCR
[_] ICBM
[_] Killer Satellite
[_] CD Player
[_] Air-to-Air Missiles
[_] Space Shuttle
[_] Home Computer
[_] Nuclear Weapon

10. How would you describe yourself or your organization?
(Indicate all
that apply:)
[_] Communist / Socialist
[_] Terrorist
[_] Crazed
[_] Neutral
[_] Democratic
[_] Dictatorship
[_] Corrupt
[_] Primitive / Tribal

11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
[_] Deficit spending
[_] Cash
[_] Suitcases of cocaine
[_] Oil revenues
[_] Personal check
[_] Credit card
[_] Ransom money
[_] Traveler's check

12. Your occupation:

[_] Homemaker
[_] Sales / marketing
[_] Revolutionary
[_] Clerical
[_] Mercenary
[_] Tyrant
[_] Middle management
[_] Eccentric billionaire
[_] Defense Minister / General
[_] Retired
[_] Student

13. To help us better understand our customers, please
indicate the
interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy
participating
on a regular basis:
[_] Golf
[_] Boating / sailing
[_] Sabotage
[_] Running / jogging
[_] Propaganda / misinformation
[_] Destabilization / overthrow
[_] Default on loans
[_] Gardening
[_] Crafts
[_] Black market / smuggling
[_] Collectibles / collections
[_] Watching sports on TV
[_] Wines
[_] Interrogation / torture
[_] Household pets
[_] Crushing rebellions
[_] Espionage / reconnaissance
[_] Fashion clothing
[_] Border disputes
[_] Mutually Assured Destruction


Thank you for taking the time to fill out this
questionnaire. Your
answers
will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell
Douglas serve
you
better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive
mailings and
special offers from other companies, governments, extremist
groups, and
mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to this
survey, you will
be
registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder
Sweepstakes!


Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please
write to:
McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION, Marketing Department,
Military Aerospace
Division


IMPORTANT:
This email is intended for the use of the individual
addressee(s) named
above and may contain information that is confidential
privileged or
unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low
self-esteem, no sense
of
humor, or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the
intended
recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of
this email is
not
authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes
an
irritating
social faux pas.

Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct
context
somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any
legal or
grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals were harmed
in the
transmission of this email, although the pit bull next door
is living on

borrowed time, let me tell you.

Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will
be gratified
to
learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading
this warning
backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft.
However, by
pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your
computer you
can
ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets.

If you have received this email in error, please add some
nutmeg and egg

whites, whisk and place in a warm oven for 40 minutes.

Sure, you can TRUST the Gov't. Ask any Indian.
:D :D

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Erik Jensen
February 26, 2003, 07:17 PM
um... not to be nit-picky, but the f14 is made by Grumman, the F16 is made by General Dynamics, and the F117 is made by Lockheed.... not really much McDonnell Douglas aircraft in the list there...




Aviation Geek signing out... :neener:

Triad
February 26, 2003, 07:58 PM
So what's the warrranty for that 20mm gun?

Kevlarman
February 26, 2003, 08:00 PM
the F16 is made by General Dynamics

Isn't it Lockheed Martin now?

CatsDieNow
February 26, 2003, 10:14 PM
After the big rash of mergers, it is:

F-16, F-117 - Lockheed Martin (FKA Lockheed, Martin Marrietta, General Dynamics)

F-14 - Northrup Grumman (Possibly acquiring TRW soon)

F-15 - Boeing Company (FKA Boeing and McDonnell Douglas)

Buy enough companies and you have a rich aviation history ;)

UnknownSailor
February 27, 2003, 03:45 AM
That brings up an interesting question:

Who bought Rockwell again? (B-1B)

Oh, and don't forget the F/A-18 and the AV-8B, both McDonnell Douglas products. Also, the KC-10 and C-17, both from Douglas aircraft. (Part of McDonnell Douglas)

rick458
February 27, 2003, 04:19 AM
I can't get the RADIO buttons to work on the survey:mad:

CatsDieNow
February 27, 2003, 08:26 AM
Boeing bought Rockwell International, North American Aircraft and McDonnell Douglas. The B1-B Lancer is not currently in production.

The fighter planes they currently make are: F/A-18, F-15, and 1/3 of the F-22 (other 2/3 by LM Aero). They also still produce the B-2 Spirit Bomber, the C-17 and C-40A cargo planes. I believe they also make a T-45 trainer and various refueling planes.

I am just happy they didn't get the F-35 (JSF) contract. That thing they designed was an abomination that no self-respecting fighter pilot would fly. Job security for me too. ;)

TallPine
February 27, 2003, 08:29 AM
I assume this falls under the "if the second amendment was actually enforced" category ... ?

M1911
February 27, 2003, 10:22 AM
Grumman USED to make the F14 -- the production line has been closed for quite a while.

Are B2s still in production? I thought we'd received all those that had been purchased? I know there has recently been talk about buying some more...

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