McDonnell Douglas (Er, gun) Warrenty information


February 26, 2003, 07:11 PM
I'll probably get a locked thread for this but what the heck we all need a laugh!

McDonnell Douglas Warranty Card Information

Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to
protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the
warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not
required, but the information will help us to develop new products that
best meet your needs and desires.

1. Title
[_] Mr.
[_] Mrs.
[_] Ms.
[_] Miss
[_] Lt.
[_] Gen.
[_] Comrade
[_] Classified
[_] Other

First Name: ............................................

Initial: ........

Last Name:..............................................

Password: .............................. (max. 8 char)

Code Name:..............................................

Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ......................

2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase?
[_] F-14 Tomcat
[_] F-15 Eagle
[_] F-16 Falcon
[_] F-117A Stealth
[_] Classified

3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day):

4. Serial Number: ........................................

5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:
[_] Received as gift / aid package
[_] Catalogue / showroom
[_] Independent arms broker
[_] Mail order
[_] Discount store
[_] Government surplus
[_] Classified

6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell
Douglas product

you have just purchased:
[_] Heard loud noise, looked up
[_] Store display
[_] Espionage
[_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
[_] Was attacked by one

7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most
influenced your
decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
[_] Style / appearance
[_] Speed / maneuverability
[_] Price / value
[_] Comfort / convenience
[_] Kickback / bribe
[_] Recommended by salesperson
[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
[_] Advanced Weapons Systems
[_] Backroom politics
[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat

8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product will
be used:
[_] North America
[_] Iraq
[_] Iraq
[_] Aircraft carrier
[_] Iraq
[_] Iraq
[_] Middle East (not Iraq)
[_] Iraq
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[_] Iraq
[_] Asia / Far East
[_] Iraq
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[_] Iraq
[_] Classified
[_] Iraq

9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or
intend to
purchase in the near future:

[_] Color TV
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[_] ICBM
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10. How would you describe yourself or your organization?
(Indicate all
that apply:)
[_] Communist / Socialist
[_] Terrorist
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[_] Democratic
[_] Dictatorship
[_] Corrupt
[_] Primitive / Tribal

11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
[_] Deficit spending
[_] Cash
[_] Suitcases of cocaine
[_] Oil revenues
[_] Personal check
[_] Credit card
[_] Ransom money
[_] Traveler's check

12. Your occupation:

[_] Homemaker
[_] Sales / marketing
[_] Revolutionary
[_] Clerical
[_] Mercenary
[_] Tyrant
[_] Middle management
[_] Eccentric billionaire
[_] Defense Minister / General
[_] Retired
[_] Student

13. To help us better understand our customers, please
indicate the
interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy
on a regular basis:
[_] Golf
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[_] Sabotage
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[_] Collectibles / collections
[_] Watching sports on TV
[_] Wines
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[_] Household pets
[_] Crushing rebellions
[_] Espionage / reconnaissance
[_] Fashion clothing
[_] Border disputes
[_] Mutually Assured Destruction

Thank you for taking the time to fill out this
questionnaire. Your
will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell
Douglas serve
better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive
mailings and
special offers from other companies, governments, extremist
groups, and
mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to this
survey, you will
registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder

Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please
write to:
Military Aerospace

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borrowed time, let me tell you.

Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will
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Sure, you can TRUST the Gov't. Ask any Indian.
:D :D

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Erik Jensen
February 26, 2003, 07:17 PM
um... not to be nit-picky, but the f14 is made by Grumman, the F16 is made by General Dynamics, and the F117 is made by Lockheed.... not really much McDonnell Douglas aircraft in the list there...

Aviation Geek signing out... :neener:

February 26, 2003, 07:58 PM
So what's the warrranty for that 20mm gun?

February 26, 2003, 08:00 PM
the F16 is made by General Dynamics

Isn't it Lockheed Martin now?

February 26, 2003, 10:14 PM
After the big rash of mergers, it is:

F-16, F-117 - Lockheed Martin (FKA Lockheed, Martin Marrietta, General Dynamics)

F-14 - Northrup Grumman (Possibly acquiring TRW soon)

F-15 - Boeing Company (FKA Boeing and McDonnell Douglas)

Buy enough companies and you have a rich aviation history ;)

February 27, 2003, 03:45 AM
That brings up an interesting question:

Who bought Rockwell again? (B-1B)

Oh, and don't forget the F/A-18 and the AV-8B, both McDonnell Douglas products. Also, the KC-10 and C-17, both from Douglas aircraft. (Part of McDonnell Douglas)

February 27, 2003, 04:19 AM
I can't get the RADIO buttons to work on the survey:mad:

February 27, 2003, 08:26 AM
Boeing bought Rockwell International, North American Aircraft and McDonnell Douglas. The B1-B Lancer is not currently in production.

The fighter planes they currently make are: F/A-18, F-15, and 1/3 of the F-22 (other 2/3 by LM Aero). They also still produce the B-2 Spirit Bomber, the C-17 and C-40A cargo planes. I believe they also make a T-45 trainer and various refueling planes.

I am just happy they didn't get the F-35 (JSF) contract. That thing they designed was an abomination that no self-respecting fighter pilot would fly. Job security for me too. ;)

February 27, 2003, 08:29 AM
I assume this falls under the "if the second amendment was actually enforced" category ... ?

February 27, 2003, 10:22 AM
Grumman USED to make the F14 -- the production line has been closed for quite a while.

Are B2s still in production? I thought we'd received all those that had been purchased? I know there has recently been talk about buying some more...

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