[firesafety3]

I bought my wife a .380 some time back and we occassionally (twice a year) shoot together so she can stay familiar with basic operation.

My wife is early 30s, pretty, dresses well, and is a true lady. In my opinion the perfect victim.

I need to sit her down, almost classroom setting, and review specific scenarios and certain responses. I know how I would handle certain situations that may require "aggressive defense" but I believe she would be hesitant or really question if the situation is as it seems. And there simply isn't time to reassess in most situations.

What are some scenarios and instructions you gave your loved one? We want to be there to protect them at all times but arming them may be the next best thing. And once that decision is made there is a lot of responsibility that goes with it. I need to prepare her, physically and mentally, to use this weapon if she feels threatened.

Your advice is welcomed.

[duckslayer]

I need to do the same with my wife. She has expressed some interest in getting a permit, but not much interest. I suppose the best thing to do is to sign both of us up for a class and attend it with her, although I hate to sit through the whole class again!

[Series 70]

My wife carries occasionally. If the situation called for it, I have no doubt she'd shoot. We have not spent much time going over situations, though, and that's a shortcoming to address.

[Wild Bill]

You can’t pick your sweeties gun. You can’t make her carry it.

Personal defense is much more dependent on mindset and awareness than it is on weapons choice or proficiency. You can’t make it happen - she has to make the choice.

Best I can suggest is a heartfelt discussion on why it’s important to you that she is capable of defending herself. There’s tons of info out there on women and self defense that you might use to help her see that the world is a dangerous place.

This links to our women’s resources page. It’s a place to start.

http://www.scfirearms.org/links/links2women.html

Good luck.

[rl2669]

"occaisionally yes" in my case, mostly fanny pack carry, not "en-holster". She is not "into" guns as a hobby, but can (and would) shoot to defend herself or me.

A big part is getting something that she can manage, practice with, and be comfortable. In our case a 5 round S&W revolver does the trick for her. It bothers me that its 38 +P only, not 357, but ya know what they say - the 38 +P in your wife's hand beats the 44 mag in the gun safe at home :neener:

I agree with the original poster who implied his wife was not as aware of "just how bad" people can be. My wife has this issue too. There are "tough chicks" out there, my wife is highly educated, genteel, and feminine - not a "tough chick". Its good for her to be a bit naive, in fact I'd prefer her to be sheltered from HL Mencken's "the meaner sorts", but also ya gotta know the real world too. I've tried to impart this wisdom gently -

[Lennyjoe]

The wife loves to shoot but she doesnt have any desire to carry. She says her safety is my job. :rolleyes:

[1911Ron]

I agree with getting training, basic pistol,self defense and CCW. If she knows how to shoot then the last two would work,then go over some basic scenarios and ask how she would handle them. If she has no idea how to handle the situations then comes the explenations and ideas on how to handle it.
When my wife started to shoot i thought i could teach her as i have been shooting for close to twenty years, boy was i wrong, i felt i wasn't doing it right and was afraid that i would teach her wrong, so i signed her up for a basic pistol course for her and my two boys. I am glad i did, now to get her to get her CCW :D

[shooter58]

My wife has her CCW and carries daily. She has a 2 inch 38 Spl. She has had her CCW for about 9 years now. Doesn't leave the house without the gun. She's an excellent shot too.

[hillbilly]

My wife has a CCW and carries daily.

Something we've both thought about, which we saw on the TV show "Shooting Gallery" is this.

We are thinking seriously about getting a $100 airsoft pistol....one of the very realistic "blowback" models, along with a couple of those Lexan full-face riot shields.

Then, using that realistic airsoft pistol (after locking up all the other live guns and real ammo) we would take turns ambushing each other inside the house, out near where we park the vehicles, etc.....(hmmm...sounds almost kinky to me :D )

We saw the same thing done at some high-dollar self-defense school on "Shooting Gallery" and both thought that it was realistic enough....full speed, actual attack distances, a realistic but non-lethal gun, that it would actually prove useful.

hillbilly

[Greg L]

She has her permit but doesn't carry that often (mainly due to work issues & where she has to go (weapons forbidden)). SP101 when she does.

[client32]

She doesn't always carry on her person, but there is always a .357 in her vehicle. She realizes how evil and just plain stupid some people are. I have no doubt that anyone wishing to do her or the children harm would be dealt with.

[Yowza]

I made my wife take the CCW class with me right after she was bitten by a dog. She knew that I had been wanting to get a permit for quite a while and had expressed a desire to get one as well, so the attack was a real motivator for me. Anyway, we've both had our permits for at least six months now, and I don't think she's ever carried although I know that she has taken her gun with her when she knew she'd be out late. I guess she just leaves it in the car. I've talked to her about it a little, but she doesn't really seem to care that much.

Hillbilly, your training scenario sounds like fun. My wife already complains about me sneaking up on her all the time. But I swear I don't do it on purpose.

Rick

[Gus Dddysgrl]

I am the one who carries the most. I often can't carry on my person cause of certain places I go. Now if I could get my husband to get his. Jon doesn't really go anywhere even remotely dangerous so it's hard to get him motivated to get it. I'm not worried for now.

Senarios I would bring up would be:
at home alone and someone breaks in.
you are out late and she has to be home alone at night.
she is stuck at work late and has to get gas on the way home.
she is locking up the office late.
she is going out alone anytime (especially after dark.)

Often I am at work late and have to lock up and there is nobody in the area and it's a very questionable area. It's in the middle of a business park and there is a chance people could be around. I've had to be here alone at anytime day or night. I will carry when alone, but otherwise I'm not suppossed to.

Gus

[hkOrion]

my wife is coming around. She didn't understand at first the need, but after letting her know of all the crazy stuff that happens around her office and the fact that she's scared to walk around downtown Denver at night alone we're doing the following -

1. Get her familiar with my guns, so if she needs to use them she can.
2. Get her unarmed self-defense training.
3. Get her into an NRA Basic Pistol class
4. Pick out her own handgun
5. Get her a CWP
6. Continue going to the range

Good news is that she's enjoying herself! So much so that my ammo purchases have gone up!

hkOrion

[Old Dog]

Of course the wife carries ... and she is partial to 1911s, too ...

[pax]

We want to be there to protect them at all times but arming them may be the next best thing.
If you are talking about a wife and not a daughter, it is not your responsibility to either arm her or to prepare her for bad stuff. It is her responsibility as a competent, capable adult to make decisions that affect her own safety.

As a grown up human being (wearing my big girl panties and everything), I'm perfectly able to make decisions about my own weaponry, to arm myself and to prepare myself to cope if I am ever attacked.

My husband and I have discussed various scenarios wherein we might need to use weapons, and have general plans how we would go about protecting ourselves and the children until the police arrive.

The attitude that a woman being able to protect herself is only the "next best thing" is highly offensive, and it's very condescending.

pax

How come the females of every other species on the planet are fierce, regardless of size, and are the ones who train their offspring, male and female, in defense and hunting? How come most women wouldn't ever think of themselves as potentially dangerous toward an assailant? ....

How come so many women fail to learn how to protect themselves? How come so many of us are unwilling to be dependent on men for financial support but are so willing to be dependent in terms of our own safety? It doesn't make sense. How come so many are so willing to let the foxes guard the hen houses? -- Ellen Snortland in the prologue of her book Beauty Bites Beast.

[spacemanspiff]

Jon doesn't really go anywhere even remotely dangerous so it's hard to get him motivated to get it. I'm not worried for now
to steal from one of Tamaras lines..... Who will provide covering fire for you while you reload?

[Wild Bill]

Nicely said Pax. I too suffer from the guy thing of wanting to be everyone’s protector/big brother/knight in shining armor. Guess that alpha male thing is just inbred in the genetic makeup. But, it doesn’t give me license to run her life for her.

My sweetie has her CWP. She’s been a competitive shooter and is quite competent and capable. Does she carry all the time? Nope - nowhere near as much as I would like her to. Can I change that? Not likely. My responsibility? Nah – it’s her life.

We’ve discussed the issue. She knows how I feel. We agree to disagree. That’s life. She’s comfortable with her level of security, and I’ve learned to be OK with that.

Of course if she gets killed fighting off the bad guys while the gun's in the safe at home I’ll never talk to her again. ;)

[Bob F.]

Mine carries 24/7. Actually started to draw once!

Stay safe.
Bob

Actually, guess I should tell the story for your wife's benefit: Early Dec a few yrs ago, wife parked on lot and went into early equiv of Wally world. Noticed an older guy roaming the lot eating popcorn (waiting for wife??) She went inside to look at clothes but strong smell of burnt popcorn made her nauseous so she left. As she approached her car the popcorn eater trying to open her car. When she challenged him he said it was his car. "Like hell!" or something. He turned and took a step toward her at which time she ripped the velcro opening at the end of her purse and took a firing grip on the SP-101. He jumed into the passenger side of a Bronco parked in the next row and the pair took off. Couldn't get the tag and no cell phone then. No doubt the pair was robbing cars in the lot!

[Greymoor]

My Wife just turned in her CCW paperwork 10 days ago or so. I would hope she will carry but we will have to see. It might be situationaly dependent with her. ;)

Be well . . .

[Stand_Watie]

My wife carries. My 9 year old daughter is learning to carry. She'll carry as soon as I judge her danger to herself to be less than other's danger to her. My goal for her is that by the time she reaches puberty she'll be as skillfull and as prudent with a firearm as the average gunny.

[Gus Dddysgrl]

spacemanspiff- I know I'm working on him. As soon as he gets a free moment at work we'll get it done. Maybe I should go get the paperwork and have him fill it out later. Hmmmmm. Course today he's driving the Blazer which has my cool new magnet on it and the only thing he has in there that's gun related in the extra ammo in the glove box and in the center thing.

I forget where I put my second mag for my new Kel-Tec so till then I don't have much to reload. I think I loaded the mag and then put it back in the box. I'll have to look when I get home.

Gus

[armoredman]

Wife carries CZ2075 RAMI 9mm with Hakans in an HBE COMIII IWB holster.http://www.hunt101.com/img/209842.jpg (http://www.hunt101.com/?p=209842&c=500&z=1)
http://www.hunt101.com/img/209914.jpg (http://www.hunt101.com/?p=209914&c=500&z=1)

[Smoke]

My wife is a bit more pacifistic than I care to admit. She fully understands and supports my intentions of use of force, she just unclear if she can bring herself take a life.

We have discussed and just from living with her for 16 years, I suspect if anyone attempted to harm one of our kids, they would soon depart this earth.

She is a very good shot, doesn't shoot often adn refuses to carry. She does have full access to the safe and knows how to run most things there. She is partial to the Colt Gov't 380, but hasn't shot the Hi-Power I just brought home. I suspect she'll like it.

My daughter carries pretty often.....see below:

http://home.earthlink.net/~rogerwparks/jguns.jpg

[SapperLeader]

I have no wife or daughter, but I do have a mother and a sister. Niether carries, mom is clueless and sister is only 17. I am slowly working mom into the mindset of defensive guns in the home let alone the step of carrying a handgun. Sister is more into the theory but not the actual concept, but I have 4 years to work on her. I fully beleive a woman is just as if not more capable of defending herself and her family, but I do think some people do have a tendency to be overprotective/big brotherly. My protectivness crosses over both genders, but I dont feel protective of any male or females that has shown the mindset or the skill to defend themselves. If I know someone is physically capable, or they have a firearm and the proper training I wont feel overprotective, but I still feel responsible. I see myself as the watchdog, you watch over the flock, but you dont really watch the other watchdogs. You keep an eye on them, you watch thier backs, but you dont watch over them. That said, I do find that I tend to be at the forefront of situations whether I am with a group of non gunny friends and am the only one armed, or if I am at a gathering of fellow gun enthusiasts and were all armed to the teeth. Like many on highroad, I just have the personality that wants to be at the front safeguarding others not at the back wondering whats happening.

[sm]

I appreciate your post. In fact I will print this out and give to persons, even some males.

Not having a wife or any kids of my own , I have had in the past. My old posts reflect my experiences with them.

"Family" if that is what they are...Mom physically can't do a handgun, where she works is an area where no guns are allowed.Mom is the only family I recognize btw. The "dad" has in the past - not really into and he spent years in the Nat'l Guard, and was a great shooter with anything he shot - so I heard...he wasn't around much, I have only seen him shoot maybe twice in my whole 49 yrs of living.

Sibs- ha... On ebrother I paid for the CCW lessons, and found him a deal on a CCW weapon, last time it was fired was years ago, now it sits in the safe, probably unloaded. Have a sister crazier than a road tick, and just "dumbs" her way in life. Another Brother at least keeps one loaded up at home and taught his wife how to use it. He can't carry on the job either.

I can't be related to these folks, or I rec'd the only/most all of the firearm genes in the family.

"Family" didn't know I carried for sure except mom. A recent situation occurred and some family were educated to the fact I do - and good thing I was.

I made it real clear years ago when THEY made some decisions. Don't call me if you wake up dead from being stupid, I don't want to be a pallbearer, ( done enough burying of folks already) and hate funerals and weddings. I'm gonna be real pissed if Mom or the neices or nephews get hurt because of stupidity on their part.

I have taught folks to shoot, kids and ladies I really enjoyed. Some I met because as pax stated , wanted to learn more about being responsible. Some were not raised in such enviroments, some the husbands talked down to them and "they were suppposed to protect the family" - BS. Control and John Wayne syndrome gets folks hurt and killed- even wives and kids. John Wayne syndrome does a lot things, like miss targets at 5 yds.

I associate with like minded folks, best can. Gets difficult to do sometimes with all the stupid folks running around , " related to" and "have to" be around at times.

[NC Shooter]

My wife has her CCW and carries daily. Depending on the situation she either has her 357 snubbie, her Kahr or a full sized 1911 if she is feeling serious.

Mark

[ARperson]

I carry everyday. At least a .38 in the purse. And when attire allows it, a 1911 on the hip with 2 extra mags in the back pockets. Unfortunately, women's professional attire is not at all conducive to carrying on the body. However, I am seriously considering wearing nothing but business suits with jackets and carrying in a shoulder rig. But what happens when I get hot and want to take the jacket off? :uhoh:

For the record, I wouldn't have to think twice about drawing and shooting to protect myself or others. But then I'm that "touch chick" that was referred to in the other post. Actually had the wife of a friend call me "too hard-core" because I was willing to go through a pistol training class in the rain when all the other gals wanted to pack it in and wait. Maybe she's right. I would rather go hunting, fishing, or shooting than to the mall.

[jojo]

My wife carries a Walther PPK, and the daughter wants to, but she's only 16. In a couple of years then we get her fixed up.
My wife had no desire to carry for the first few years of marriage, she didn't like guns really :eek: Then after my second was born, we were broken into twice.
My son was just more than a year old, and my daughter only a couple months. I was working nights and about 11:30 both times, someone came in thru the coal chute into the basement. My wife called the police the first time, and was giving directions as she heard them coming up the stairs, she told them that she had a gun (Russian SKS) and would use it. The entrant must have heard her, he left. The second attempt had her with a SKS loaded, safety off, and braced at the hip pointing at the porch door. The guy had been trying to kick in the door, she yelled out kick again and I'll fire, it stopped.After that we marked the floor above all the basement windows for shot placement in the event of a third attempt.
Now she carries regularly, and trains often. Never get between a mother and her kids.

jojo

[Chut1st]

Y'all are gonna love this! My wife just bought a certificate good for a CCW course at, believe it or not, a silent auction for the local symphony.

[7.62FullMetalJacket]

Darn tootin' she carries. Doesn't practice as much as I'd like, but who's gonna tell her that? Not me :uhoh:

She was partial to the P3AT. Then I got a J-frame airweight. And then she took it from me. :eek:

I just replaced that airweight with a Model 60. I have a feeling that when she finds out about the .357 mag ability of the 60, I will lose yet another. :(

I guess it's OK. I like the big guns anyway.

[Okiecruffler]

When we first met, she wasn't into guns. One trip to the range with a 22 rifle changed all of that. She started carrying a 38 snub, then a 380, now a 357 snub and we're looking for a 45 of some flavor now. She's a scary shot with a pistol and not too shabby with the mossy 12g that rest at her side of the bed. We've trained together on what to do in the house, or in public. Mostly she takes the more defensive position, but that's only out of fairness to the threat. I like my ladies mean. :evil:

[twoblink]

The "Secret Sauce" lies in the .22LR. She needs to have one, and shoot one often. A 22LR lets you forego the worries of expensive ammo, and recoil flenching. It lets her focus on the target, and familiarize herself with shooting very often.

Confidence and repetition.

[AirForceShooter]

my Daughter has her CCW in NC and always carries her 1911 (springer)
For some reason she's always liked the 1911 over everything else.
My wife got her CCW in Fla 2 years ago. She just stole my .380 Bersa.

AFS

[firesafety3]

Pax-

I sincerely apologize if my original post was in any way offensive and I certainly did not intend it to be condescending.

I was speaking specifically of my wife, not women in general. I probably failed to sufficiently explain the situation but I did not want to ramble on.

I purchased this gun specifically for my wife so she could do some recreational shooting with my son and me. And she has done that sporadically over the past few years. Lately there have been an increase in shootings and "parking lot bad guys" locally and she made a comment that she would feel better if she tucked her gun in her purse.

She is not aware of the laws regulating such carry and really isn't prepared for responsible carry. You are correct in noting that it really is her responsibility to follow through. I am just attempting to help that process along, especially with all the tips given here. I am going to print out the post for her with all replies, especially yours!

Thanks and have a great holiday.

[birddog]

My wife carries daily. I for one am thankful she's armed because if the S ever really does HTF, her Kimber Ultra CDP .45 is going to be a lot more useful than my Bersa Thunder.380.

:)

[2400]

My wife has a CCW and carries a 1911. :D

[aerod1]

Of course. Both have their Texas CHL and both carry.

Jim

[pax]

firesafety3 ~

I appreciate your attitude. Please forgive me for coming across so harshly in my last post; harshness really wasn't my intent but rereading it, it sure sounds a lot more snippy than I really intended.

I'd recommend she (and you if you haven't) enrolls in a shooting class. The NRA's Refuse to be a Victim courses are good for the basics, and there are lots of others. She could even sign up for a CCW qualifier class if she wanted. She needn't follow through by getting her CCW unless she decides to do so after taking the class -- it's not like there's any obligation to do so.

The reason I recommend this is twofold:

1) Any good class will give her a good understanding of the laws that apply in your area, so she can think through the legal/ethical dilemmas associated with deadly force,

and

2) Most married women I've talked to enjoy shooting with their husbands, but learn the basics better from a formal class.

Either way, please be sure to tell her there are lots of other women out there who enjoy shooting for fun and who carry weapons for self-defense. Not all of us talk about it to folks we don't know well, so she doesn't need to feel like a weirdo or think she's the only woman she knows who shoots. Chances are she knows a shooter or two, but doesn't realize it.

pax

If I won't protect myself, what right do I have to expect another person to risk his or her life for mine? -- Sunni Maravillosa

[Amish_Bill]

Don't have a wife, don't have a daughter.

Did get Mom to get a permit, and she does carry. :-)

Not bad for a lady who, when I was younger, would not allow a gun near the house.

[danbh]

My wife has been carrying for about 4 years. Did not carry to work, we lived less than a mile, but did carry everywhere else in a Coronado pocketbook a Walther P-88 or a Bersa .380 depending on what else she has in the pocketbook.

I am carrying right now, we moved and she is still waiting for her carry permit. I have received mine already so I do the carrying with one of the following, P-99, Glock 21, Beretta 8045. :D

[danbh]

Oh by the way, we both go to the range twice a month and I have to admit she is more consistent than I am as far as quality of shots.... :(