Another American Icon Bite's The Bullet


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2dogs
March 4, 2003, 06:52 AM
http://www.etherzone.com/2003/youn030303.shtml

ANOTHER AMERICAN ICON
BITE'S THE BULLET
(AND IT AIN'T SILVER)

By: Mel Young

It was bad enough, some years back, when female, politically-correct socialist put together the TV farce I like to think of as "Little Fantasy On The Prairie"; otherwise known as Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman. That program didn’t have a single qualm about rewriting the history of the late 1800’s to take advantage of all the politically-correct stereotypes of today, which has nothing to do with either reality or history (spanking of children is not allowed). And, one can remember Quinn’s hippy boyfriend played by Joe Lando. You know, the guy who never discovered a barber; wouldn’t dream of carrying a gun, but would kill you with a bow and arrow, a knife or a club?




Comes (naturally) Warner Brothers TV, which has been dedicated for years to the stupidizing of the young and ignorant. This time, it’s their new, "mod" version of The Lone Ranger, and it ain’t pretty.

First of all, this W-B-ized pile of white stallion manure introduces us to a spoiled brat who is supposedly the brother of a Texas Ranger, far removed from the sartorial reality of the day, presented fairly accurately, some years back, by Lonesome Dove. This punk kid is from Baaaston (naturally) where he has been a law student at Karl Marx University, aka Haaavard ("Go to Harvard and turn left" has been the byword for Treason High for many, many years).

Being a young white man, WB’s nightmare creation can barely find his butt with both hands (no road maps available) and yet, while he seems to be ignorant of everything else, he can supposedly shoot like a skilled pistolero who has practiced daily for years, to learn and build up his skills, but that comes later.

Of course, being an evil white kid, he is basically ignorant of survival and fighting skills; incapable of taking revenge on his brother’s killers. He doesn’t know how to fight, run, jump, or defend himself until the kindly Apache brave, Tonto, teaches him these and other mysteries known only to the politically-correct version of Early Americans, after the Apaches have treated him with their mystical medicine and brought him back to health.

NOTE: I was born in the United States. I am a "native" American. In fact, every bit as much so as any so-called "Indian", which was the erroneous name given to the earlier peoples in this land by a lost soul named Columbus, who did NOT "discover" America. I refuse to use the politically-correct term, "Native American" to describe the various tribes of mostly nomadic peoples, also mostly savage, who roamed this Hemisphere long before the modern coming of the evil white man to these shores.

To keep modern-day, sexually depraved American youth happy, this long-haired, mostly unkempt lad spends some quality time in a convenient hot spring with a really pretty Apache lass who takes off her clothes to join him in the hot soak. The scene is made to look like it might be another of his mystical dreams, courtesy of the Apache magic. Regardless, the kiddies of early Prime Time get a good look at the bare behind of the beautiful, one can almost say "voluptuous" Apache girl, who apparently has few, if any morals. After all, the more bare ***, the more big bucks for Warner Brothers and that is what it’s all about, folks. Pure, simple greed.

QUERY: Does anyone who is truly familiar with REAL WORLD history of that period truly believe that in Texas, when the Apache was engaged in deadly war against the white eyes, that a whole tribe of Apache’s would have been interested in saving the life of a white stranger; allowing one of their women to share his hippy hot tub, etc.? It do stretch the imagination thong!

Now, I wasn’t aware that the Apache strayed down into Texas. The very word "Apache" means "Enemy". They were, if not the very worst of the murdering, raping, pillaging Early American tribes, than most certainly, among the worst. They were also just about the last group of tribes to be dehorned by the US Cavalry and that didn’t happen till around the last part of the 1800’s. In fact, there were still ragtag groups of young bucks running around, doing their thing, in the early 1900’s when my grandparents moved to the Yuma Valley in AZ to settle. Besides, Texas had enough problems with Comanches and other tribes which believed the only good white man was dead with his or her scalp hanging from the lodge poles; and that mostly included the white children, too.

But, I digress. Back to our sorry tale of nonsense. While lying in a meadow, totally spaced out thanks to the mystical magic (we would think of it as starving to the point where you have hallucinations) of our politically-correct Apaches, our in-the-process of being created lone-something-or-other is rudely awakened; nudged by a white stallion which is perfectly politically-correct, in that he is totally tame. Since the evil white lad has learned the ways of the mighty Apache and is now "at one with nature", there is no need to befriend and break the horse. Sort of a modern, Jack-in-the-barn walkup where you don’t even have to speak to have your wishes and needs taken care of by Mother Nature.

In this Hollyweedland half-vastity, the semi-alone stranger’s mask is considerably smaller, more modern, hand-tooled leather, made for our hero-to-be by the Apache medicine man. It includes Apache symbols to ward off the evil spirits and bring luck to our soon-departing, blond, hippy hero who shaves off the pathetic mini-beard (with an evil, white man’s knife) he has supposedly been growing since the ambush that saw his brother, among others, murdered and himself wounded.

And, as the hero’s first act of revenge, accompanied by his faithful, Karate-fighting, politically correct Apache fantasy, he saves a black farmer and his wife from the evil white gang that had killed his brother. I think your beginning to get the sordid picture. That’s why I described this nonsense, at the beginning, as pure, politically-correct horse manure (apologies to Silver).

Want more? Than your SOL, where this column is concerned. I’d heard the punk kid rave that he wanted to "kill the sons-of-bitches" at least twice. This new fig-Newton of the socialist writers and producers looks just like your typical high school or college student of today. Hair long and unkempt, shirt open at the front to display the hairless chest, a slob for all intents and purposes and, as one advertisement reminded me, definitely NOT "my father’s Lone Ranger", though I (not my father) listened to the program on radio before it transitioned to Television many years ago. Clayton Moore would be turning over in his grave and reaching for his matched pistols if he could see this socialist farce destroying one of America’s truly great Icons that taught honesty, integrity, respect for law and order, and the need to fight for what is right. Thank heaven I abandoned the rest of the 2-hour program a bit over half way through. It was either that or puke all over the furniture. The teenyboppers should be ecstatic, though. After all, it’s their "time" and their lack of moral values that will attract them like moths to a flame to this sort of garbage.

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Blackhawk
March 4, 2003, 01:15 PM
Mel's got a stronger stomach than I. Insipid "hero" is an oxymoron. :barf:

JMLV
March 4, 2003, 01:23 PM
The "coming attractions" on the wb made me well aware of the vast difference between tihs story and that of the real Lone Ranger (always was and will be Clayton Moore) then 80's remake
by comparision with the wb version is of oscar caliber - at least they got the story right! What a piece of trash this was. They should oif just brought "firefly" back<G> much better viewing in my opinion.
Bad year for TV 2 of my favorite shows got canned: buffy & Lost World. what next? A gay Green Hornet in drag?

VaughnT
March 4, 2003, 02:02 PM
I couldn't agree more, and I'm glad to see someone else can put my feelings to print so well.

I was hopeful, understanding that some changes would have to be made for the sake of modern culture. But I never expected such absolute drivel.

The original was very PC but that was the nature of the times. It was also based on strong morals and focused on doing the right thing for the right reasons.

This new trash has completely changed the story of the LR and for no apparent reason. And I definitely wasn't pleased when they changed the theme to electric guitar!!:cuss:

Overall, I found the story full of hypocrisy, lies, filth and degenerative behavior. I wouldn't watch it again if you paid me.

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