If we caught Osama...


March 7, 2003, 07:39 AM
What is the correct thing to do?

I think regardless, there will be a retaliation by the terrorists of the world..

But I mean aside from the ticker tape parade, and giving whomever caught him a nice shiny medal and the key to the city, what should we do?

I seem to recall someone mentioning that we should send him to "General Population" in your regular ol' scumbag prison, and buy the guards a really big box of donuts and some ear muffs that night ;)

I'm just curious; in thinking about what I'd do if I ever caught the guy that robbed my house; most of what I thought up for the robber; is just way too good for Osama..

The classic, gallon of X-lax down his throat and then surround him with nothing but salt water, seems to be getting my vote in the back of my mind...

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March 7, 2003, 07:46 AM
Double tap...

March 7, 2003, 07:47 AM
What is the correct thing to do? Things that we couldn't even begin to list in this forum. I can think of several for starters.

March 7, 2003, 08:28 AM
I don't think we should ever "catch" him. There's no point in making another martyr. It would be best if he simply ceased to be ... he should be "disappeared".

March 7, 2003, 08:45 AM
There is only one difference between a jailed martyr and a dead martyr.

The dead martyr never kills anyone again. One less to worry about.

March 7, 2003, 08:57 AM
can not argue with not "catching" him but if we do, get as much information as possible from him, try him, and execute him.

March 7, 2003, 09:11 AM
How does the Muslim faith regard suicide? Does that deny you the entrance to heaven with all those tasty virgins?

Baba Louie
March 7, 2003, 09:32 AM
MIA with a herd of swine found to be missing at the same time.

No notice, no news no Osama.

Where DID he go?

Problem is, nobody can keep a secret and everyone wants the reward money.


Don Gwinn
March 7, 2003, 09:37 AM
Um, KMKeller, I confess I don't know what Islam actually says about suicide, but I think we can figure out what Bin Laden and his followers think of it. They spend a lot of time planning suicide attacks and promising each other houris, so I don't think they're against the concept.

Let's avoid all the torture ideas this time around, OK? By my count, we've closed three torture threads already. I don't want this to be another. Suggestions of things like X-lax and salt water will get the lights put out.

March 7, 2003, 10:01 AM
I think swathing him in bacon grease, and rolling him in Toms (tm) Pork rinds then putting him on public display on live TV
(direct feed to Al Jazeera) just before his public execution in Times square, would be appropriate.

Maybe that would make the next terrorist mastermind finanicier think twice before choosing targets.

March 7, 2003, 10:13 AM
I like President Bush's idea of his head in a box.

Carlos Cabeza
March 7, 2003, 10:22 AM
No torture, just put him in gen pop of a rough prison and it will be taken care of. You don't murder 3000 americans and get preferential treatment in the pokey.

March 7, 2003, 10:24 AM
Fox News is currently reporting that a Pakistani Minister is reporting that sons of Bin Ladin have been captured in Afghanistan.

[Editted to add:] The report is now that two of OBL's sons have been captured.

March 7, 2003, 10:47 AM
Death, quick and clean. As good people, we must take the high road and refrain from suggesting torture. As private citizens, if you are attacked and kill someone in self-defense do you stand over the body and urinate on them while uttering a primal scream? Probably not.

Just kill him and be done with it. Do not honor him or his requests. Just end it.

Would I get gratification knowing that OBL is being tortured? No. Would I get gratification knowing his time on Earth is finished? Yes.

Swamp Yankee
March 7, 2003, 10:53 AM
Surpressing my desire to see this murderer publicly destroyed, as his martyrdom would surely follow, I'd keep it as secret as possible. Disavow any knowledge of the capture.
Incarceration / exile at an outpost somewhere in the Antartic might be a good place for him.
In the mean time start a few rumors and float some correspondence as to how much he's enjoying his government sponsored sanctuary in the People's Republic of North Korea. Give the NK leadership(?) a little something to worry about. If it served our purpose we could always insert and extract UBL on and from the pennisula.
In short, making a fanatic such as
UBL a powerful tool for those he would destroy against his allies and supporters would torture his inflated ego more than pain and death.
One man's opinion.
Take Care

4v50 Gary
March 7, 2003, 10:54 AM
We should keep our mouths shut and let his sleeper cells die of old age.

March 7, 2003, 10:58 AM
Very public execution :cuss:

March 7, 2003, 12:49 PM
A not-so-soundproof room with Barbra Streisand and some very loud loudspeakers :D

March 7, 2003, 12:52 PM
Heartily suggest via backchannel communication to Saudi Arabia that if they don't have a fair trial for him, followed by a public execution following dismemberment (you see, if you don't die with all your parts, you don't have 'em in the afterlife), we'll pave their country.

March 7, 2003, 01:57 PM
This one's going nowhere....

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