I need some input...


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St. Gunner
March 8, 2003, 11:44 PM
A few weeks ago I was approached by the editor of the poetry section of the school newspaper to write a poem. For those who don't know I am an English major working on my last six hours to a BA. I have a reputation on campus as someone you don't want in your class if you are a socialist. I wrote the following poem and submitted it to a few select individuals I know and some family members. I got close to 90% responding that the message it sends is vital to our cause. But 10% among them my brother and my mother feel it is to graphic.

My goal upon writing it was to take those reading into an emotional state, for one most will be preparing to sit in a classroom shortly after reading it, and try to make them place themselves in a position of great physical danger and unimaginable fear. Then provide them a simple solution to the fear of this situation. Then in closing show the truths of what will happen if and when the solution where ever instituted.

I would like you to read it and comment to me on how you feel about it, does it take the graphic to far, or is that what the sheeple sitting in a classroom truly need, to be shocked into the truth of the world. I'm torn, i've tried to revise the first stanza(or the violence of it) out of this poem, but it doesn't seem to have any real impact when you do.

"Honoring Honor"

Silence bought with utter fear;
Fear bought with taking of life so dear.
He kicks and flops at the sound of shot,
head bursting smearing a bloody spot;
Brain mixed with blood, red/grey slop.
A woman screams for him to stop.
He answers quickly with a shot to her chest,
She slumps in her desk as if at rest.
A young man screams "what a brave, brave soul."
Now in agony on the floor he rolls,
Gut shot, for speaking his mind;
Dark crimson blood, he is almost out of time.

He hears from down the hall the echo of shots
Reaching in his backpack he draws his Glock.
He races down the hall to the silent room
Eyes casting about for the villainous gloom
He hears the cries of a gutshot boy.
Wishes that this was a game and in his hand was a toy.
He opens the door and in with a rush,
The killer pivots, and starts to cuss.
The pistol bucks in his hand,
But his bravery is illegal in this land.

The killer lay dead in a pool of gore.
The savior slammed against the door;
Campus Police think they know the score.
They put him in cuffs and lead him away;
For simply trying to save the day.
Prosecuted and jailed for a gun at school;
Because he refused to follow the rule,
Ignored society and carried a tool.

Steve Moody

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Archie
March 8, 2003, 11:52 PM
Make sure the professor understands he is being tested on intellectual integrity and academic freedom.

St. Gunner
March 9, 2003, 12:00 AM
Archie,

That isn't for a grade, I took a poetry class with the editor a few semesters ago and everything I wrote made people face some hard questions. This guy who is about as totally opposite as two people can be, came to me, because he wanted something in the student newspaper besides a bunch of love poems that had no meaning outside of some guy trying to get laid. I'm doing this because of a few incidents at school that have shown me that this socialist leaning school is actually composed of liberatarian students who have been raised that socialism is there to protect everyones rights. The proffs rally pretty hard to counteract any semblance of libertarian thought on the part of students, normally using fear inducing examples to shock them into following the proffs lead.

So I don't have to worry about the fallout on my grades this time, I have in the past and my gpa shows it. I am doing this, because I think it needs to be done.

blades67
March 9, 2003, 12:21 AM
I like it as it is. The fearful won't change their minds no matter how you word it.

beemerb
March 9, 2003, 01:41 AM
Very good.I am going to passit along and print it out as keeper adn to post it in one of the local gun shops.
Bob

CasualShooter
March 9, 2003, 02:44 AM
Submit it.

S_O_Laban
March 9, 2003, 08:02 AM
Steve, thumbs up. I for one think and feel that emotion in a poem is good. I gott'a belive this will make a few think. A lot of people like Poe and his stuff was kind of "Dark" I'm not all that jazzed about poetry but I attribute that to lack of content in most cases. FWIW I think this has "content"

J Miller
March 9, 2003, 10:27 AM
Submit it.

MissileCop
March 9, 2003, 02:26 PM
Excellent job, Steve. It's already been saved to the hard drive.

Don't worry about the 10% who think it may be too graphic. Sometimes being graphic is necessary to jumpstart the minds of those who live in condition white all their lives.

Two thumbs up.

10-Ring
March 9, 2003, 02:53 PM
The modern classroom isn't a place of learning as much as it is a place to perpetuate liberal ideas. As poignant as your poem is, the objective in class is to get a good grade. I would modify the poem so you can play the game your professor wants & get thegood grade. But save the original version & have it printed or published in the real world where challenge is more readily welcomed.

sonny
March 9, 2003, 03:11 PM
I liked it :) ......but I am willing to bet that unless you repeat it several times and give copies to those that hear it they will not know what to make of it.....my guess is that they will not even realize that there is a good guy and a bad guy....all they will hear is GUNS!....BLOOD!.....BRAINS!.....DEATH!......BUSH!.....IRAQ!

But then again ....thats there problem.....write what's right!
P.S. BUSH?...IRAQ?....I had to throw that in:D

Peetmoss
March 9, 2003, 03:19 PM
Great poem man SUBMIT IT

St. Gunner
March 10, 2003, 12:56 AM
As poignant as your poem is, the objective in class is to get a good grade.

I have a problem with that, I keep thinking my job in the classroom is to undo 15yrs of fascist brainwashing of my fellow students. I'm doing a fair job of it, but not many proffs pat me on the back for it.:D


Blades, since 9-11-01 the fearful seem to migrate to people like me who don't walk around campus with wet trouser legs everytime a plane flies over low. It makes it hard to convey this message when to you and I we see it real black and white, while they have this whole rainbow scale. It frustrates me to no end to here them badmouth the campus police for not enforcing pedestrian walkways and slowing drivers down on campus, then when questioned about a school shooting to hear the same person say the police will handle it.

Hypocricy is capturing the world.:barf:

Leatherneck
March 10, 2003, 02:39 PM
In the words of Air Force fighter pilot John Boyd: "Do you want to BE or to DO ? You know the answer.

TC
TFL Survivor

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