Britain may have to ban bananas


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Dot_mdb
March 18, 2005, 08:49 PM
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,150775,00.html

Banana Not Effective Stickup Weapon

LONDON (AP) — Robert Downey had the mask and the attitude, but not the weapon — he tried to hold up his local bookmaker's shop using a banana.

Noting the suspicious bend in the so-called "weapon," the clerk calmly called the police and on Wednesday, Downey was jailed for nearly seven years for attempted robbery.

Prosecutors at his trial said Downey, a 24-year-old drug addict, hatched his scheme to buy more crack.

Donning a mask, he headed for the bookmaker's shop in East London last November, pausing only to get a banana from the greengrocer on the way.

In the bookmaker's, he pointed the fruit wrapped in a plastic bag, screaming, "I want the money or I will [expletive] shoot you."

Instead, one man working there said to another: "It might be a banana."

Downey then pulled out a pair of scissors, but that didn't work either, so he ran off.

Police found him nearby trying to pull off his mask. A police dog found the badly bruised banana still in its bag.


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Dave Markowitz
March 18, 2005, 09:07 PM
How to defend yourself against a man armed with a bannana?

First, you take the bannana, then eat it, thereby disarming him.

http://alas.matf.bg.ac.yu/~chupcko/images/Monty_Python_4.jpg


:D

scout26
March 18, 2005, 09:43 PM
Judge: "Where's the Evidence ??"
Bobby: "Right here your Honor"
Judge: "Is this a joke ?!?!?! It's a bag of dog poo !!!"
Bobby: "Yes, your honor, the police dog ate the banana."

:neener: :neener: :neener:

280PLUS
March 18, 2005, 10:18 PM
I have a banana and it's LOADED!!

:eek:

P95Carry
March 18, 2005, 10:39 PM
A police dog found the badly bruised banana still in its bag. Bound to be a law suit - cruelty to bananas! :D

BTW - this does have only very loose gun connotations!! I'll leave it short term for amusement' sake only!

Lone Star
March 18, 2005, 11:19 PM
My son called from London today, where he's on vacation from working in Iraq.

He said the evening news from Manchester showed cops complaining about gangs there and showed guns they'd seized from gang bangers. They included two Desert Eagle pistols. The announcer was wailing about how the guns got into their hands. After all, they are illegal! Well, Duh!

By the way, the Manchester cops were wearing Glocks, probably 9mm, and the only London cops my son has seen who were visibly armed had H-K MP-5 SMG's and were posted near the barriers on Downing Street, where the Prime Minister lives.

Lone Star

P95Carry
March 18, 2005, 11:26 PM
Lone Star - I think you saved the day! Now at least we are more gun oriented:).

So the Manchester guys had Glocks eh - hmmmm ... that is interesting ... but I am outa touch with what their issue stuff is these days.

The Downing Street guys - and H-K's ... that is a well worn routine now I think. Often wonder tho - how much ammo they have - if any!

Standing Wolf
March 19, 2005, 02:35 AM
Never try to commit armed robbery without being armed.

Preacherman
March 19, 2005, 02:59 AM
Yes, if you use a banana, your efforts will be fruitless...

:neener:

yorec
March 19, 2005, 03:16 AM
Funny, but I wonder if there may be a further problems brewing for Brits - They may start thinking that every bank robber who point an object covered in a bag - claiming to have a gun is only holding a banana. (Or any such substitute) Dangerous for thier to have confidence in such assumptions based on an erroneous belief that thier firearms ban actually works... We all know criminals don't care about the law, so it's only a matter of time before a cashier tell's a robber to "bugger off" since he believes the crook only has a banana and gets himself ventilated by the PO'd badguy... :uhoh:

Stupid ban.

4RHeritage
March 19, 2005, 03:20 AM
I am all for banning bananas, but only the .50 cal ones. :neener:

Bigfoot
March 19, 2005, 06:09 AM
"he tried to hold up his local bookmaker's shop using a banana."

I assume open gambling is legal in Britain? If not, who's the dumbest one here the robber or the bookie who called the police over being robbed with a banana?

Outbacker
March 19, 2005, 06:19 AM
"Yes! We have no bananas. We have no bananas today."

Stand_Watie
March 19, 2005, 07:03 AM
I assume open gambling is legal in Britain? If not, who's the dumbest one here the robber or the bookie who called the police over being robbed with a banana?

Worse yet, I misread the original post and thought the guy was trying to hold up a bookseller shop with a bananna :D I was thinking that English crooks may be morons, but at least they're well read morons :neener:

Fly320s
March 19, 2005, 08:28 AM
Stand_Watie,

I read it the same way. :D

Bananas should be banned because they are two weapons in one. What would have happened if the robber had dropped the peel on the ground. Countless numbers of hapless Brits could have been injured!! Oh, the horror. :eek:

El Tejon
March 19, 2005, 08:45 AM
"Release the tiger!" :D

*switch to John Cleese wearing woman's hairpiece while in court*

"M'lord, this case is a bit fruity." :uhoh:

Lone Star
March 19, 2005, 10:04 AM
P95Carry-

I forgot that the peelers at Heathrow also have H-K SMG's. My son has one in Iraq, too; they get around. Real little ambassadors of Germanic technology... I think a lot of the ones used by British cops only fire semi-auto, though.

The London Metro Police armed response unit went to Glocks some years ago, finding that their worn-out Brownings were cracking slides too often when fired extensively with their very hot 9mm ammo.

As for bananas, they're supposedly endangerd. Saw a column about this a year or so ago in the, "Johannesburg Star". Some sort of biological defect is reportedly making it hard to produce viable forms on a commercial level in Latin America. This is not a joke, alas. I hope they find a solution: I like bananas. But not as a weapon!

Oh: the son also sent an e-photo of a Life Guard mounted outside Buckingham Palace. His sword was carried drawn. Guess they're ready for terrorists there... :D The Queen is safe.

Lone Star

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