What is a mall ninja?


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whm1974
March 29, 2005, 08:55 PM
Ok I've been on this board for awhile now, and I keep see "mall ninja" pop up. Now I can tell the this is ment to be an insult. But what is one?

-Bill

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Solo
March 29, 2005, 09:01 PM
http://www.mallninja.com/images/johnathanfanart.jpg

http://www.mallninja.com/images/mninja2.jpg

DWS1117
March 29, 2005, 09:05 PM
Check here (http://www.mallninja.com/archives.htm) for the original Mall Ninja threads. If you read these while drinking anything chances are good that whatever you are drinking will exit through your nasal passages.

sm
March 29, 2005, 09:07 PM
ROTFLMAO

Solo - those are Great!

*ahem* - I can't tell by the pic if the extra ceramic plate is duct tapped to stop a .308....*snicker*

whm1974
March 30, 2005, 12:00 AM
He he *snort!* So a mall ninja is just a overarmed "rent a cop" that works at malls and retail stores.

-Bill

Darkmind
March 30, 2005, 12:22 AM
"rent a cop"

Well its a good thing that I don't work at a mall or a retail store someone mite think that i'm some kind of mall ninja rat, or ninja mall rat or what ever thouse things are.

Browns Fan
March 30, 2005, 08:50 AM
Yeah!! Ever since I first heard you guys talk about mall ninjas, I look for one whenever I go to the mall. I have yet to see one; maybe ours has a more covert mission. ;)

Tijeras_Slim
March 30, 2005, 09:11 AM
I haven't seen them either. It must be some mall ninja invisibility technique. Or they're all hanging at the arcade or food court. :D

MikeB
March 30, 2005, 10:08 AM
I haven't seen them either. It must be some mall ninja invisibility technique. Or they're all hanging at the arcade or food court.

You have too look UP. They're all hanging from the ceiling with their ninja wall climbing shoes.

garyk/nm
March 30, 2005, 10:26 AM
Tijeras_Slim,
Go to the Greyhound station in ABQ sometime. Some of the gate guards there are just a little too tacticool. Looked like "Galls gone wild".

ZeroX
March 30, 2005, 10:44 AM
That's a great site. :D

http://img189.exs.cx/my.php?loc=img189&image=tactrifle8pd.jpg

Caption: Still not quite tactical enough...maybe a gyro-stabilizer would do the trick.

No_Brakes23
March 30, 2005, 11:24 AM
DWS1117 said...
If you read these while drinking anything chances are good that whatever you are drinking will exit through your nasal passages.
I believe that is called an ASNR.
Acute Spontaneous Nasal Reflux

I must confess, mall ninja is a new one on me. Better than Rent-A-Cop for the situation, fo sho.

MikeIsaj
March 30, 2005, 11:34 AM
SOLO you have proven the saying "A picture is worth a thousand words."

Never seen a mall ninja however two days ago my wife encountered a "hospital parking lot ninja." She is a new pool employee and stopped in the wrong parking space to take a cell call from her real emloyer. He pulled up behind her took a stance behind the drivers door and tapped on the window of my 5 month old van with a kubaton. Needless to say the security director and I had a discussion of professional behavior and just plain old stupidity. It was said that this guy gets a lot of flack from employees. I wonder why?

logical
March 30, 2005, 11:48 AM
I don't think the mall cops (private security guards) around here get guns....just the city LEO that patrol the mall lot and inside sometimes.

The best ones I've seen lately were some guys we hired to provide security during a strike at one of our factories, escorting management and trucks in/out, etc. They were very "tactical", especialy with their radios....which seemed to be eating batteries to the point that they rarely worked.

Omaha-BeenGlockin
March 30, 2005, 12:00 PM
Spotted one yesterday-----no gun------but had the '70's style chrome shades----radio where the mic wire pigtail goes over the belly and then velcro-ed to the shoulder------flashlight(non-Surefire)---and pepper spray.

And an attitude that he was just like a ''real'' cop.


God I hate wannabees :banghead:

NHBB
March 30, 2005, 12:03 PM
that thread was hilarious.... a human shield to block .308 lapua rounds, while his female counterpart arms the single shot 12 gauge... priceless :D

Skunkabilly
March 30, 2005, 12:26 PM
Me.

Browns Fan
March 30, 2005, 12:57 PM
MikeB, LOL! That's the best laugh I've had all week! Thanks for the visual! :D

Quote:
"they're all hanging at the arcade or food court."

That's the FIRST place I look.

cookiemonster
March 30, 2005, 01:16 PM
you only forgot about the level 4 tactical body armor...

there are WAY too many of those around here in Houston...scare me...

Darrell

38SnubFan
March 30, 2005, 01:34 PM
<~~is a "Mall Ninja" (actually, a supervisor).

And I take my job seriously, just like those who care to insult the profession take their jobs seriously.

And for the record, my body armor is Level II.

I get a good laugh from the stories, only because I've seen enough of those types of Mall Security "ninjas" in the past almost-10 years I've worked in the Security field, but some people here aren't exactly taking "The High Road" with these insults, and could stand to show a little more maturity.

-38SnubFan

spacemanspiff
March 30, 2005, 01:37 PM
<~~is a "Mall Ninja" (actually, a supervisor).
sensei is the word, 38snubfan-san.

:D

Omaha-BeenGlockin
March 30, 2005, 01:39 PM
You don't get it ---do you??


You aren't a real cop---so NOBODY takes you seriously.

mbs357
March 30, 2005, 02:07 PM
Anyone notice that the guy on the left in the second pic doesn't have his finger on the trigger?
Probably an accident, though. =o

38SnubFan
March 30, 2005, 02:30 PM
Spiff, take a look at this quote from my post:
some people here aren't exactly taking "The High Road" with these insults, and could stand to show a little more maturity. Sounds like you there.

And Omaha, I'm actually taken QUITE seriously at my job and am respected by many. I KNOW I'm not a "real cop," and I'm not trying to be. Security and Law Enforcement may have their similarities, but they are two ENTIRELY DIFFERENT fields of work, and I have the self-respect to treat them as such.

Like I said, I enjoy the fun and games made here too, as there are MANY dumb-a$$ wannabe's out there. Let's all take a look at Jeff White's post regarding rules for Strategies And Tactics, and apply them here as well, OK?

-Snub

Spreadfire Arms
March 30, 2005, 02:50 PM
correct me if im wrong but i also thought "mall ninja" extended not only to private security officers/guards, but also civilians who go everywhere with their "tacticool" stuff.

someone who:

-wears 5.11 stuff everywhere they go
-wears tac boots with his outfit
-has Oakley or Wiley-X sunglasses
-dresses in black, OD green, desert tan, coyote brown, or a certain type of camouflage
-can't wear a regular backpack, even if its just to carry books to school. spends more money on a Oakley, BlackHawk, LBT, or other name brand tactical 3-day pack.
-always has at least 1 'tactical' folder on him at all times
-always has at least 1 flashlight, a la SureFire, Streamlight, ASP, etc.
-probably CCW'd if the state allows it
-probably carries pepper spray
-probably carries an impact weapon of some sort
-brings something made of ballistic nylon everywhere he goes
-probably has a carabiner, even if it just to hold his house and car keys
-has a backup weapon of some sort secreted on his person, like on an ankle
-has a cellphone or in some cases, a radio, if his fellow mall ninja buddies are nearby, so he can call for backup
-may have a police scanner in his car
-defintely a backup flashlight in the vehicle, maybe even a vehicle mounted spotlight a la police car
-maybe a push bar a la police car
-definitely aftermarket lighting, strobes in all colors that are legal and resemble a law enforcement vehicle (amber, for example).
-weapons rack, even if no weapon is in the car.
-a seat organizer, like the Safariland Pursuit Box, even if there is nothing in there except:
-a map like a Thomas Guide or a Mapsco
-a metal clipboard that opens up for secret storage
-a vehicle code, even though it's never been read
-these items in the vehicle will be left in a very conspicuous place so that passers by will look inside and think it is a cop car
-and oh yeah..has a Camelback or at least a Nalgene bottle.
-maybe some MRE's in the car too.

:D

spacemanspiff
March 30, 2005, 02:55 PM
dude, lighten up! stop trying to find insults where there are none.

-wears 5.11 stuff everywhere they go check!
-has Oakley or Wiley-X sunglasses check!
-dresses in black, OD green, desert tan, coyote brown, or a certain type of camouflage you forgot 'urban gray', but check!
-always has at least 1 'tactical' folder on him at all times check!
-always has at least 1 flashlight, a la SureFire, Streamlight, ASP, etc. check!
-probably CCW'd if the state allows it i do ccw! check!

what do i win?
:neener:

Tom Servo
March 30, 2005, 02:55 PM
And Omaha, I'm actually taken QUITE seriously at my job and am respected by many. I KNOW I'm not a "real cop," and I'm not trying to be. Security and Law Enforcement may have their similarities, but they are two ENTIRELY DIFFERENT fields of work, and I have the self-respect to treat them as such
If you've got the respect of your peers and customers, then chances are you've EARNED it, and therefore deserve it. My hat's off; I know quite a few great folks in security. On the other hand, these Mall Ninja guys seem to think that respect is something attainable through wardrobe choices and "attitude," and that's entirely different.

Somehow, someone who posts "If you want to laugh at somebody, try laughing at the sheep out there who go to the mall unarmed trusting in me to stand guiard over their lives like a God" is a doofus, and chances are, he couldn't get a job running the shake machine at Dairy Queen, much less in a position (I HOPE) where he'd be handling weapons and potentially volatile situations.

Spreadfire Arms
March 30, 2005, 03:05 PM
this is a funny post...don't be offended by it. unless you are a mall ninja...then maybe....you ought to think about how non-gunners see you.

i mean heck, if the pro-gunners think you're weird, you ought to think what the general public thinks of you.

there is one guy in my gun show circuit that wears an ATF baseball cap everywhere he goes (although i think he lives in a trailer), wears a black sleeveless shirt, black BDU's bloused into black combat boots. he wears sunglasses indoors or outdoors, sun, rain, sleet, hail, heck he probably sleeps with them.

he has so many knives clipped to him, i once saw a folder clipped in his fly next to his nutsack. what a STUPID place to put a knife. :banghead:

he told all of us he is waiting to go fight in Iraq, but so far, the contracting firms haven't offered him enough money yet. he's holding out for $130,000.

he is in his late 40's, and had a few years in the service way back when. not a Vietnam vet and no combat experience. but about 20 years of mall ninja experience. he told all of us he was "looking forward to getting shot at." :rolleyes:

spacemanspiff i ought to print up a bunch of black t-shirts with "MALL NINJA" in block letters and give you one! :neener:

cookiemonster
March 30, 2005, 03:08 PM
Spreadfire,

I would be in the front asking for one of those shirts...not for me, but for a few friends of mine. :rolleyes:


Mebbe one for me too so I can wear it to the range every now and then. :cool:

Darrell

Spreadfire Arms
March 30, 2005, 03:12 PM
that would be a FUNNY shirt. it would be a hit gag gift. make it look like a "POLICE" style raid shirt but have it say "MALL NINJA."

im going to contact my t-shirt company..this is too funny. :D

SamlautRanger
March 30, 2005, 03:13 PM
Hey, lets not put down Mall Ninjas, that may be my next future job! :D

( at least I would get to have a high and tight flat top hair cut again and have little moustache to go with it, and could eat all I want to get the regulation beer gut!! :neener: )

logical
March 30, 2005, 03:15 PM
The thread wasn't titled "Security Guards"...it was titled "Mall Ninjas". We know not all security professionals are mall ninjas. If you are in security and don't fit the description (aren't a mall ninja) , why would anyone be offended?

TechBrute
March 30, 2005, 03:20 PM
Snub, lighten up. Go look for your sense of humor. If you fit the profile, then you're a mall ninja. If you don't fit the profile then you aren't one, so stop looking for someone to insult you when no one is trying to be insulting to you. :rolleyes:

Spreadfire Arms
March 30, 2005, 03:20 PM
a mall ninja is not necessarily anyone in security, it can be the average joe who walks around very "tacticool." this would make a great gag gift ..... give it to your buddy who's a mall ninja. heck he may even wear it at the mall. :neener:

SamlautRanger
March 30, 2005, 03:31 PM
Spreadfire Arms, what is sad about your buddy with the ATF hat, is some of the not so professional security companies in Iraq are so short right now that your buddy can probably get a $130,000 + job easily. Of course the better security companies such as Blackwater, triple canopy, MVM, Dyncorp, and SOC-SMG have very selective screening processes ad background checks and also have usually a 2 week selection course.

cowboybobb693
March 30, 2005, 03:31 PM
Steve.
If you get some printed I want one !!! I can wear it with my secret squr'l outfit at drill and REALLY piss my Commander off :evil: :evil: :evil: ( like I have to try) I think they would be a hit.
Bobb

Spreadfire Arms
March 30, 2005, 03:36 PM
hey cowboybobb!

i was just talking about you the other day. someone told me a story about a brick company :D im sure you know what i mean by that.

im gonna get these shirts made and YOU will get the first one. that is extremely funny...seeing you are the LEAST qualified person to wear one. ;) and i mean that in a good way!

im going to be in San Antonio for the show this weekend....are you anywhere near there?!

for those of you who don't know cowboybobb he is the antonym of mall ninja. it would be hillarious to see him wearing one. :p

cowboybobb693
March 30, 2005, 03:40 PM
Steve. Thanks for the compliment.I think that I can talk the "BOSS" into letting me come down and play for a few hours. She is going into Austin for some "girl" stuff so I think I'm safe, as long as I don't spend too much money :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:
Are you going to have a booth??

GreenFurniture
March 30, 2005, 03:50 PM
You want to see an actual "Mall Ninja?"

Come on down to CCA, "Gecko 45" is hard at work and will answer any mall ninja related questions you might have.

THE REAL MALL NINJA WEBSITE (http://www.mallninja.com)

mbs357
March 30, 2005, 03:54 PM
-always has at least 1 flashlight, a la SureFire, Streamlight, ASP, etc.
Oooo me!
Maglight on belt holster. XD

Spreadfire Arms
March 30, 2005, 04:51 PM
bobb,

i'll have only 2 tables :o but that is a HARD show to get into so i'm very happy with what i can get!

im just trying to figure out how to display 20 AR-15's, about 6 used rifles/shotguns, and 20 pistols in 16 feet of table space! :confused:

probably wont have any Mall Ninja shirts done up by then but i'll try!
:neener:

Bear Gulch
March 30, 2005, 05:53 PM
I assumed that it was someone who figured that if they bough the most expensive tacticool hardware, it would then magically imbue them with the skill needed to use it well.

BigSlick
March 30, 2005, 06:21 PM
There is no spoon... gotta recon the food court and find out why

http://www.mallninja.com/images/downthe%20wall.jpg

jamz
March 30, 2005, 06:25 PM
OO, this looks like fun...let me answer, with the preface that I'm a middle aged computer guy.

correct me if im wrong but i also thought "mall ninja" extended not only to private security officers/guards, but also civilians who go everywhere with their "tacticool" stuff.

someone who:

-wears 5.11 stuff everywhere they go
Nope, only 1 pair of 5.11 pans, and they're work pants now. (i.e. painting)

-wears tac boots with his outfit
no tac boots.

-has Oakley or Wiley-X sunglasses
No, but I do have some cool looking prescription shades.

-dresses in black, OD green, desert tan, coyote brown, or a certain type of
camouflage
Got lots of colory colors.

-can't wear a regular backpack, even if its just to carry books to school. spends more money on a Oakley, BlackHawk, LBT, or other name brand tactical 3-day pack.
I've got lots of fancy packs from hiking and climbing.

-always has at least 1 'tactical' folder on him at all times
Unsure what a "tactical" folder is, but I always have a folding one handed knife in the pocket.

-always has at least 1 flashlight, a la SureFire, Streamlight, ASP, etc.
Yup, 1 Inova LED in my cell phone holster.

-probably CCW'd if the state allows it
Yup, whenever I can.

-probably carries pepper spray
yup, whenever I can.

-probably carries an impact weapon of some sort
Nope.

-brings something made of ballistic nylon everywhere he goes
My cell phone holster is always with me, that's ballistic nylon (what is "ballistic"?

-probably has a carabiner, even if it just to hold his house and car keys
I have loads and loads of carabiners from climbing

-has a backup weapon of some sort secreted on his person, like on an ankle
Not usually

-has a cellphone or in some cases, a radio, if his fellow mall ninja buddies are nearby, so he can call for backup
Always have a cell phone.

-may have a police scanner in his car
Nope

-defintely a backup flashlight in the vehicle, maybe even a vehicle mounted spotlight a la police car
Backup surefire in my work bag, does that count?

-maybe a push bar a la police car
nope

-definitely aftermarket lighting, strobes in all colors that are legal and resemble a law enforcement vehicle (amber, for example).
nope

-weapons rack, even if no weapon is in the car.
I'd wait till I move to maine to get a gun rack in the car.

-a seat organizer, like the Safariland Pursuit Box, even if there is nothing in there except:
-a map like a Thomas Guide or a Mapsco
-a metal clipboard that opens up for secret storage
-a vehicle code, even though it's never been read
-these items in the vehicle will be left in a very conspicuous place so that passers by will look inside and think it is a cop car
Been meaning to get a seat organizer, but it would only carry maps, work junk, and maybe a GPS.

-and oh yeah..has a Camelback or at least a Nalgene bottle.
One camelback from mountain biking and a few naglene bottles from hiking/climbing.

-maybe some MRE's in the car too.
I always carry spare food in the car. Not MRE's, but I'd put like srvival rations in there. I've been out hungry too many times.

MY GOD!! I'm almost half mall ninja and din't even know it!!


-James

Stinkyshoe
March 30, 2005, 06:38 PM
I really question the relevance and usefulness of this discussion, but do what you will...

TechBrute
March 30, 2005, 07:11 PM
I really question the relevance and usefulness of this discussion, but do what you will... Wow... and yet you managed to post something even more irrelevant and useless than this thread... congrats... :rolleyes:

357wheelgunner
March 30, 2005, 07:56 PM
This needs to be a sticky thread.....

MikeIsaj
March 30, 2005, 08:02 PM
Don't worry JAMZ, I think there's a 12 step program now.

Snubby I always find that it's best not to let anyone on any board see that they're getting to you. That's just asking for trouble. Quoting the forum rules just fuels the fire. It's also good to be able to laugh at yourself. Believe me 15 yrs in corrections, I've done a lot of laughing at myself.

MikeB
March 30, 2005, 08:27 PM
correct me if im wrong but i also thought "mall ninja" extended not only to private security officers/guards, but also civilians who go everywhere with their "tacticool" stuff.


Ok you're wrong. It's generally a term for security officers that are a bit too over the top; and specifically it's a joke related to certain threads on various firearm related forums. Let's go over your list though.

-wears 5.11 stuff everywhere they go

Sorry no, but I do tend to wear pants that have more that two front and two back pockets. After all a pair of jeans or dress pants doesn't really hold keys, firearm, flashlight, wallet, PDA, money, change, pocket knife, cell phone, etc. all that well.

-wears tac boots with his outfit

I'm not sure what tac boots are but I usually wear a pair of hiking boots, but then I only own one or two pair of shoes/boots.

-has Oakley or Wiley-X sunglasses

Nope usually just my prescription glasses sometimes with the snap on shades if I haven't misplaced them. Of course I sometimes wear contacts when mountain biking or rock climbing.

-dresses in black, OD green, desert tan, coyote brown, or a certain type of camouflage

No camouflage in my wardrobe, I do tend to wear earthy tones like green or tan.

-can't wear a regular backpack, even if its just to carry books to school. spends more money on a Oakley, BlackHawk, LBT, or other name brand tactical 3-day pack.

Well regular backpacks(schoolbags) aren't really designed for moutain biking, rock climbing or hiking/backpacking.

-always has at least 1 'tactical' folder on him at all times

Not sure what a tactical folder is, but a one handed folder is pretty practical.

-always has at least 1 flashlight, a la SureFire, Streamlight, ASP, etc.

I just can't count the number of times a flashlight has come in handy whether working on the car, tracing wires in a closet, or finding that lost dart at the tavern.

-probably CCW'd if the state allows it

My state allows it, I consider it a right and a prudent measure, but hey to each their own.

-probably carries pepper spray

Nope don't even own any. Either it's lethal or I should extricate myself PDQ.

-probably carries an impact weapon of some sort

Not unless you count the hiking stick I use while hiking or backpacking, works great as a monopod for the camera too.

-brings something made of ballistic nylon everywhere he goes

Not sure what ballistic nylon is?

-probably has a carabiner, even if it just to hold his house and car keys

Do you have a better tool for rock climbing? I have to admit I use one to hold my climbing shoes together, it's easier than digging around in the back seat of the car for BOTH shoes when I go to the rock gym.

-has a backup weapon of some sort secreted on his person, like on an ankle

Depends on what you consider a backup weapon I suppose?

-has a cellphone or in some cases, a radio, if his fellow mall ninja buddies are nearby, so he can call for backup

I'd pretty much be out of buisness without a cell phone. I do contract network engineering work. Those FRS radios really come in handy when doing wiring throughout a building as well.

-may have a police scanner in his car

Nope, but I suppose my Ham radio can scan some of those bands. I guess I should give up my FCC license.

-defintely a backup flashlight in the vehicle, maybe even a vehicle mounted spotlight a la police car

Who doesn't have at least two flashlights in their car? Seems like a good defense to Murphy's law to me.

-and oh yeah..has a Camelback or at least a Nalgene bottle.

Do you know of a better way to carry water while backpacking, or works as well with a water filter?

-maybe some MRE's in the car too.

No MRE's but I lived in the mountains of Colorado for several years. I think I'll keep a little food in the car thank you very much.

Nippy
March 30, 2005, 08:33 PM
Mall Ninja is a Insult probably something close to "poser". Some people just can't handle... teh tacticool!!!!1111oneoneoneoneone If u know wat I mean :rolleyes:

Farnham
March 30, 2005, 10:20 PM
I've got a Surefire and I usually wear black polo shirts...I'm taking my CHL class this weekend. Hmm...prospective Mall Ninja?

SpreadfireArms, which show will you be at in SA? The Saxet show? If so, I'd definitely buy a Mall Ninja shirt!

Farnham

PS: SpreadFire, check your PM's

Spreadfire Arms
March 31, 2005, 12:58 AM
i probably wont have them that soon!

im gonna try to get to the t-shirt guy this week sometime, usually they make a proof, then spit out the rest a few days later. it would be midweek next week at the earliest :(

but i will be at the San Antonio show. look for the poor bastard with a pile of AR-15's on his table.

Whatsit
March 31, 2005, 01:39 AM
*yawn*
http://www.realultimatepower.net

peacefuljeffrey
March 31, 2005, 01:49 AM
Hmmm... I've been set straight. I used to think that a Mall Ninja meant a person who is all about getting the swords and knives and guns and gear but is no more of a tough-guy survivalist than some teenager, because he may have the gear but no training beyond the articles he's read in S.O.F. I guess I misconstrued. But I like my definition better.

I think that for the mall security toads, we should call them MOCOM forces, like SOCOM, but MALL Operations Command... :p

-Jeffrey

38SnubFan
March 31, 2005, 02:49 AM
Well, I'm going to apologize now for taking this thread to harshly. I just felt at the beginning that ALL security professionals were being stereotyped into this group. That being said...

probably CCW'd if the state allows it I do, everyday, with three exceptions: When I'm under the influence of alcohol (both guns stay at home, unloaded and locked up), in places where it is not permitted (e.g. schools, courthouses, government buildings), and while on duty at work (unarmed security).

I also regularly carry a folder knife clipped inside my right pocket, and a cell phone on my left hip (because that's about the only good way to reach me these days).

Maybe I AM becoming a "ninja"! (LOL) :uhoh: :eek: :D :rolleyes:

-38SnubFan

Browns Fan
March 31, 2005, 08:45 AM
I, too, apologize to 38SnubFan, or any other security professional who may have been offended at my comments. I sometimes get a little carried away in my zeal for a good laugh.

logical
March 31, 2005, 08:47 AM
Mall Ninja isn't just about the equipment...it's a state of mind.

Stinkyshoe
March 31, 2005, 01:51 PM
Logical,
Please describe the difference between some with a "mall ninja" mindset and someone who is equally equipped and non mall ninja.

Perhaps my comment was useless TB, but it just seems as an earlier poster mentioned, we are straying from the high road.

Ss

logical
March 31, 2005, 02:04 PM
Sure..since you asked so nice.

Pseudo-Mall Ninja gear-dude has all the equipment because he genuinely takes his job seriously and wants to be prepared to do it well.

True Mall Ninja mindset-dude has the belief that he is just one pair of tights shy of being Spiderman. The gear for him is all about image and living out the crime-fighter fantasy.

Spreadfire Arms
March 31, 2005, 03:24 PM
i may add that while most of us have some if not all of that stuff i listed..... a mall ninja usually wears it all at once as his daily ensemble. a non-Mall Ninja won't wear it everyday as part of his ensemble.

so...a few items i forgot to add.

1. tacticool watch (Luminox, G-Shock, etc, Chase Durer if you're really cool...)

2. a cover (boonie hat, Army BDU cover, USMC cover, or even a black baseball cap with your favorite firearm logo) - this is not to be confused with an everyday cap or hat. a cover makes you tactical.

3. gloves. black, either nylon, scuba material, or leather. something like those BlackHawk gloves. if they're not worn they are secreted in one of the pockets in my 5.11 gear.

4. tactical belt. not just your ordinary everyday belt but a nylon, thick belt preferably OD green, black, or tan, that has a big metal buckle you thread the belt into and wrap the excess out and fasten it down with velcro. something like a Blackhawk, Wilderness Tactical, etc. belt. may even have emergency rapelling hardware on it in the event you need to rappel.

5. wallet. black, either nylon or leather, that will hold your "credential:" security credentials or your CCW in a plastic window. maybe even have your "Concealed Weapons Permit" or "Security" badge inside it, so when you go to pay for something it accidentally becomes visible.

:neener:

cowboybobb693
March 31, 2005, 03:36 PM
OH NO !!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm a mall ninja !!!! :eek: :eek: :eek: I wear a Luminox watch !!! Think I'm going to have to trade it in on a Timex :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: Thanks Steve, you made my day :) :)

Spreadfire Arms
March 31, 2005, 05:18 PM
confession:

i have a few of those things on that list too! but i resist the temptation and urge not to wear them all at once! :D

peacefuljeffrey
April 1, 2005, 01:41 AM
I assumed that it was someone who figured that if they bough the most expensive tacticool hardware, it would then magically imbue them with the skill needed to use it well.

This is far more in keeping with what I always thought "mall ninja" means.

I still think of mall security as "MOCOM." Particularly when they are a bit more gung-ho than they ought to be.




Um, someone forgot to add "aftermarket magnetic compass that slides onto the watchband."

I have that. :p

It's actually sorta saved my ass now and then.
Or at least kept me from going too many miles out of my way.

-Jeffrey

revjen45
August 21, 2007, 09:10 PM
Hey, this stuff hurts my feelings. I'm growing a beer gut (on real beer, not just food court Chinese LRRP rations) and slowly accumulating tacticool gear for when I retire from being a technical level aerospace manufacturing engineer and can live out my fantasies doing mall security. Will they REALLY let me pack an MP-5? Actually I would prefer a P-90. WOW!! I have always wanted to be a hero saving little boys from level 3 sex offenders in the mall rest rooms. Us MNs can recognize them a mile away. I can hardly wait to finish up the remaining years of boredom planning the manufacture of airliners to be a god saving the sheeple from predators who ambush us to steal video games. >rim shot<
But seriously folks- I thought Gecko 45 was parody. It had to be. Nobody that moronic would be allowed off of the short bus without wearing a football helmet to protect his head when he falls down and somebody to hold his leash so he doesn't wander into traffic.

Rustynuts
August 21, 2007, 10:42 PM
Hey, I too am an engineer, AND I did actually work mall security for awhile for extra cash. Don't knock it until you've tried it. I enjoyed the work, nice break from the boring office work. You really do get a good feeling from helping find lost infants, or assisting people needing medical assistance. Plus we had bicycle patrol in the summer, so I got paid to exercise! Of course there were the occasional petty criminals to deal with.

No weapons, but we did get to wear body armor and had decent uniforms/gear, etc. At least until the mall went to contract security and one of the big national firms ruined everything. Cheap uniforms, cheap gear, cheap everything. They didn't want us to do anything from assisting people to apprehending shoplifters for fear of lawsuits. That's when I told them to stuff it and quit.

iamkris
August 22, 2007, 12:18 AM
How do these threads come back from the grave 2-1/2 years later?

Justin
August 22, 2007, 12:44 AM
Necromancers

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