NM: Burrito causes gun scare in school


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Erich
April 29, 2005, 09:17 AM
http://www.kobtv.com/index.cfm?viewer=storyviewer&id=18803&cat=HOME

Burrito causes gun scare at Clovis school
Loaded with meat and beans, a long burrito prompted police to lock down a Clovis junior high school.
Last Update: 04/28/2005 5:26:52 PM
By: Todd Dukart

It wasn’t a gun that caused police to lock down Marshall Junior High School in Clovis. It was a burrito.

Police locked the school down after a citizen saw a student walking into school with a long, skinny object wrapped in a white cloth. He thought it was a gun and called police.

Officers searched for the student while the school was on lockdown. But the student came forward first, admitting he had what they were looking for – a two-and-a-half-foot-long burrito.

The student had taken the burrito, wrapped in foil and a white cloth, to present in a culinary career class. It was loaded – with meat and beans.

Police called the incident a good exercise for all of the officers who responded to the school.

One observer joked that with the right combination of ingredients, the burrito could have been a deadly weapon.

:)

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FPrice
April 29, 2005, 09:23 AM
The student had taken the burrito, wrapped in foil and a white cloth, to present in a culinary career class. It was loaded – with meat and beans.

Sounds like an "assault burrito" to me.

Better call SWAT, it's almost their lunch time.

Alex45ACP
April 29, 2005, 09:25 AM
Now that's funny.

TXatty
April 29, 2005, 10:24 AM
Sounds like an IED (Improvised Explosive Device) to me. :uhoh:

Gun God
April 29, 2005, 10:24 AM
Ha! A light machine burrito! Loaded with a 150 bean belt. :what:

armoredman
April 29, 2005, 10:42 AM
Chemical agents have been employed! :p

walking arsenal
April 29, 2005, 10:56 AM
would that be an offensive weapon?

Nio
April 29, 2005, 11:08 AM
Who needs a burrito that long? They ought to be banned...

Nio

Rebar
April 29, 2005, 11:09 AM
The real danger begins after it's eaten.

Watchman
April 29, 2005, 11:19 AM
Nobody "needs" a burrito that long...

Just look at all the trouble it caused...

A 2 and half foot long burrito is unnessecary when a couple of one footers would do just as well. That 'long range" burrito is a public nuisance. It is definatley dangerous to the public...

There ought to be a law... :what:

kbheiner7
April 29, 2005, 12:06 PM
What a sad, sad commentary on our society.

bad LT
April 29, 2005, 12:11 PM
A two and a half foot long Burrito full of beans is a dangerous weapon.

another okie
April 29, 2005, 12:13 PM
Was it a high-capacity burrito? Did it have a silencer?

dasmi
April 29, 2005, 12:22 PM
But the student came forward first, admitting he had what they were looking for – a two-and-a-half-foot-long burrito.

I want to shake that kid's hand. That is a man's burrito.

El Tejon
April 29, 2005, 12:29 PM
Anyone else thinking about the skit in "Monty Python"? :D

You then shoot the perpetrator and then eat his burrito, thus completely disarming him! Like that? I learned that in Malaysia.

What about pointed sticks? :D

GRB
April 29, 2005, 12:48 PM
I see the humor in it all but I have to wonder about the panicked whacko who called it in as a gun! Then I have to wonder, what would have happened had the poice arrived and this kid lifted the burrito to show them. Scary thoughts.

They ought to make the 911 caller eat it all, then lock him/her in a fairly small closet for about 3 or 4 hours so that he/she can contemplate the before and after possibilities, all the while enjoying the aromatic fragrances that are bound to bloom in the closet.

Edmond
April 29, 2005, 12:55 PM
Burritos like that are banned in Chicago. :D

wmenorr67
April 29, 2005, 01:01 PM
But it was for the children.

Alex45ACP
April 29, 2005, 01:10 PM
The real danger begins after it's eaten.

haha

mr.trooper
April 29, 2005, 01:16 PM
A 2 1/2 Foot Burrito? Manufacturors shouldnt be allowed to offer such things. "WE ALL KNOW THAT SUCH THINGS ARE MARKETED TO THE CRIMINAL ELEMENT." :rolleyes:

MICHAEL T
April 29, 2005, 01:37 PM
I bet if they were looking for donuts they would have found them. :D
What is this country coming to everybody jumping and calling cops over anything except a real crime. Then its I didn't see anything officer.

FPrice
April 29, 2005, 01:39 PM
What a sad, sad commentary on our society.

Which, the actions related in the story or our comments??? :confused:

Vernal45
April 29, 2005, 02:11 PM
It could have been worse, the LEO's could have seized the Burrito, for the children, and ate...I mean disposed of it.

akviper
April 29, 2005, 02:21 PM
We need federal legislation banning horrible objects such as this immediately. What if a student attempts to walk into a school with a trombone case or other object that could conceal a weapon of mass destruction. How about no objects over 4 inches in length within 10 miles of any school or building containing a child. We could all sleep better at night if this legislation was passed.

Cosmoline
April 29, 2005, 02:23 PM
You may laugh, but I've experienced some Burritos that should have been regulated as Class II destructive devices. :uhoh:

coylh
April 29, 2005, 03:25 PM
Tie the burrito in a knot and mount it in front of the U.N.

CZ-100
April 29, 2005, 03:40 PM
A two and a half foot long Burrito full of beans is a dangerous weapon.

That is a Weapon of Mass Destruction....(WMD) :neener:

fletcher
April 29, 2005, 03:42 PM
You may laugh, but I've experienced some Burritos that should have been regulated as Class II destructive devices.

The timers on those things always catch me off guard.

unclestu
April 29, 2005, 05:19 PM
Burrito control! We must have Burrito control, & we must have it *NOW*! :D

psyopspec
April 29, 2005, 05:24 PM
Mods, I'll understand perfectly well if this crosses the line, but...
I believe a more appropriate term would be "Weapon of Ass Destruction." C'mon, someone had to say it...

odysseus
April 29, 2005, 05:48 PM
..certainly a IED using organic hybridination of materials to produce a super charged methane eruption.

entropy
April 29, 2005, 06:00 PM
What! :what: They didn't immediately call the BATF (Burritos, Alcohol, Tobacco, & Firearms) and have a Reaction Farce (complete with gas masks, of course :p ) attempt to storm the school, be beaten back by the aroma, then just set fire to and raze the building? ;)

After all, it would be 'for the children'. :uhoh:

Daemon688
April 29, 2005, 06:37 PM
No one needs a 2 1/2 foot burrito. Ban them all! Seriously, how can you eat a burrito that long? A chipotle burrito on steroids for sure. *insert drool icon here*

GRB
April 29, 2005, 06:48 PM
You may laugh, but I've experienced some Burritos that should have been regulated as Class II destructive devices. LOL

I was just thinking of some of the other things our kids could bring to school that could scare the whackos (and I mean only the nambly pambly whackos because anyone else would have asked, "hey kid what you got there") into believing it is a long arm. Here is my list so far:

Large Rolled Up Map (for Geography class)

Rolled Up Painting (for Art class)

Baseball bat (or after school sports)

Telescope (for science class)

Fishing pole (for after school activity)

Super long hero sandwhich (for class party or maybe for lunch if he is a really big kid)

Shower towel rolled up long/funny (for gym).

I wonder how many of the youngsters will be bringing in items like this for the next few days/weeks/months just to stir the pot?

All the best,
Glenn b

Sam
April 29, 2005, 06:53 PM
Stop joking around guys, burritos is serious business around here.
Red or Greeen?

Sam :)

jsalcedo
April 29, 2005, 06:55 PM
Seriously, I'm surprised that when the kid whipped out his burrito he didn't get tasered OC sprayed and cavity searched.

garyk/nm
April 29, 2005, 07:17 PM
Psyopspec, there is now MGD all over my monitor. :)

White Horseradish
April 29, 2005, 07:54 PM
With apologies to Monty Python:


Sgt.:
All right, burritos.

(All sigh.)

Sgt.:
We haven't done them, have we? Right. burritos. How to defend yourself against a man armed with a burrito. Now you, come at me with this burrito. Catch! Now, it's quite simple to defend yourself against a man armed with a burrito. First of all you force him to drop the burrito; then, second, you eat the burrito, thus disarming him. You have now rendered him 'elpless.

Palin:
Suppose he's got a bunch.

Sgt.:
Shut up.

Idle:
Suppose he's got a pointed stick.

Sgt.:
Shut up. Right now you, Mr Apricot.

Chapman:
'Arrison.

Sgt.:
Sorry, Mr. 'Arrison. Come at me with that burrito. Hold it like that, that's it. Now attack me with it. Come on! Come on! Come at me! Come at me then! (Shoots him.)

Chapman:
Aaagh! (dies.)

Sgt.:
Now, I eat the burrito. (Does so.)

akviper
April 29, 2005, 07:58 PM
Let's say you are at the mall, you look up and a gang of burrito eaters armed with 30 inch burritos are about to surround you. What weapon would you choose to defend yourself?

Preacherman
April 29, 2005, 08:04 PM
Let's say you are at the mall, you look up and a gang of burrito eaters armed with 30 inch burritos are about to surround you. What weapon would you choose to defend yourself?
Why, enchiladas, of course! And if they won't do, bring out the big stuff and switch to tamales!

:D

odysseus
April 29, 2005, 08:36 PM
Let's say you are at the mall, you look up and a gang of burrito eaters armed with 30 inch burritos are about to surround you. What weapon would you choose to defend yourself?

It's not the burittos I would be worried about.

... Weapon of choice? A very large and powerful fan.

stevelyn
April 29, 2005, 09:07 PM
But I thought open carry of burritos was legal in NM. :D

Slotback
April 29, 2005, 09:09 PM
Hmmm, that could have been a tasty lunch.

Little Loudmouth
April 29, 2005, 09:37 PM
Maybe they thought it was a Burretta.... :D

NMshooter
April 29, 2005, 09:50 PM
Green!

Delmar
April 29, 2005, 10:02 PM
"Let's say you are at the mall, you look up and a gang of burrito eaters armed with 30 inch burritos are about to surround you. What weapon would you choose to defend yourself?"


A zippo-they're "wind-proof"

Sylvilagus Aquaticus
April 29, 2005, 10:09 PM
At least they didn't call EOD to detonate the suspicious package in the parking lot.

Regards,
Rabbit.

MarkDido
April 30, 2005, 08:40 AM
I'll bet it was a strawman purchase through the TacoBell loophole!

Did TacoBell do a NICS on the purchaser?

Byron Quick
April 30, 2005, 09:43 AM
I hope that someone who knows the Good Samaritan that reported this to the police has informed him what a total moron he is. :rolleyes:

"Basically, it's like this, sir. Stupidity is a capital offense. You're a dead man walking."

GRB
April 30, 2005, 11:11 AM
Let's say you are at the mall, you look up and a gang of burrito eaters armed with 30 inch burritos are about to surround you. What weapon would you choose to defend yourself?Michael Moore - he would no how to handle it.

El Tejon
April 30, 2005, 11:21 AM
Byron, I would tape napkins to my chest and back and take rounds of meat and sauce so others may flee to the safety of a salad bar.

Nightfall
April 30, 2005, 01:39 PM
You all laugh at the calls for bans, but we desperately need a ABB (assault burrito ban). These weapons are targeted at the kind of nut jobs who get their kicks from using one of these assault foods, then keeping the windows rolled up on a long car ride with an unsuspecting passenger. How many more dogs have to be blamed for the expulsions caused by an assault burrito? How many more janitors will suffer through the aftermath of a boy with a 2.5 foot long burrito in our school's bathrooms? Worse yet, how many children have to laugh themselves to the point of side splitting pain at the results of one of these weapons of ass destruction? WON'T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!

Glocker
April 30, 2005, 01:59 PM
i thought cops only like donuts :D

Erich
April 30, 2005, 09:03 PM
Red!

thorn726
May 1, 2005, 06:18 AM
Anyone else thinking about the skit in "Monty Python"?

i immediately thought "Casino"

-"oh no, it was a sandwich! "

AFTER the cops put like 12 bullets in the mob guy.

this is not good. people are waaaay too nervous

The_Antibubba
May 1, 2005, 08:15 AM
Does it come with a silencer?

Oh no-quite the opposite, in fact.

DJJ
May 1, 2005, 12:29 PM
I'm surprised that we're now 3 pages into the perfunctory flatulence-related jokes, and no one has said anything about it being....
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"Gas-operated"

No smoking within 50 feet, or this'll happen ----> :fire:
;)

38SnubFan
May 1, 2005, 02:56 PM
Police called the incident a good exercise for all of the officers who responded to the school. Wonder what they'd say if it really was a gun?!

Sounds more like a good exercise in all responding officers clearing the scene with a headache and a bad temper towards the complainant.

-38SnubFan

Sam
May 1, 2005, 05:23 PM
All burritos are recoil operated.
Whenn all of the gas comes out of the muzzle er er er breech in lieu of a gas port, how can it be gas operated?

Sam :neener:

DJJ
May 1, 2005, 09:40 PM
I think you mean reflux operated.

Rebar
May 2, 2005, 07:08 PM
update:
http://www.wftv.com/news/4437950/detail.html

thorn726
May 2, 2005, 11:32 PM
DJJ, that was great. hardy har ha

recondoc
May 3, 2005, 01:26 PM
In preparation for the upcoming ABB (Assault Burrito Ban), some of us are stockpiling large supplies of both regular and extra large tortilas. Along with Red and Green Chilles, I will also have extra bags of rice and beans ready for processing should the need arrise. Now I just have to figure out the best way to burry the cheese in underground caches for later use. Hmmm........Oh to hell with it, I'm just going to eat all of this now and pay the inflated costs of dealers later. :)

They'll get my burrito when they pry it from my cold, unplugged microwave...the bastards!

Doc

___________
CZ P-01
Ruger 22/45
Walther P-22
Browning HP
Big Green Burrito
Pre-64 Winchester 70

Erich
May 3, 2005, 02:01 PM
Thanks for the update, Rebar. For some reason, they're not playing the story up here too much in NM . . . ;)

Sam
May 3, 2005, 02:23 PM
It was an entertainment while it lasted but the funny is over now.
I suspect that the foolishness of the entire situation is really beginning to sink in to the rank and file sheep and they would rather forget it than learn from the embarassment. I believe that we all know what the real solution is and know that it isn't going to happen, at least within our lifetimes.

Sam

San
May 4, 2005, 07:00 PM
I find it humorous, but at the same time, it shows how greatly guns effect our society. We think we see one, and all of a sudden we trip out. THey have to ban toy guns. In the play at school, we cannot bring a water gun. Our teacher had to, then he had to lock it away when we were not rehearsing. Needless to say, it saddens me that people have done so many things wrong, that it ruins it for the people who haven't done anything wrong. I may not support guns, but if you take care of yours, and you don't abuse your rights/shoot anyone, then you shouldn't suffer from other idiots shooting each other. Lord knows the enviroment problems are gonna start suffering from overpopulation soon enough, so, why not let the useless idiots clear themselves out?

Gewehr98
May 4, 2005, 10:58 PM
On Watt Avenue in North Highlands, CA. They could rightfully be called weapons, because they sure as heck put the fear of God in me. I barely had time to get home to the reading room before the dreaded TEC-9/MAC-10 effect took over. (that would be "spray and pray" for the uninitiated) Mrs. G-98 and I spent the better part of the evening cleaning, scrubbing, bleaching, and doing laundry. It got EVERYWHERE. So, yeah, burritos can be a bad thing®. :eek:

The_Antibubba
May 5, 2005, 12:01 AM
Thanks. I'll have to skip that one.

Sam
May 5, 2005, 12:45 PM
Gewehr,
********** burritos are a mere reflection of what a proper burrito should be.
Too much foo foo and no proper chile for effect. Had you been subjected to a proper burrito you would be in no condition to respond to this post. Your esposa would have been scraping you off the walls. :neener:

Sam :D

Gewehr98
May 5, 2005, 05:50 PM
I figured out *immediately* what those handrails are for in public restroom stalls - recoil. :scrutiny:

I promised I'd never give my wife grief whenever she felt "crampy", too.

San
May 5, 2005, 07:31 PM
:scrutiny: uh...yeah. Okay then. But, that is just sad, with the burrito thing... really really sad....

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