Get a dog? Get a shotgun!


Oleg Volk
May 6, 2005, 02:27 PM
"If you are so afraid of intruders, get a big dog." How many times have we heard that?

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May 6, 2005, 02:33 PM
Nice doggie.

Actually he is a part of a good home defense plan. He should function as the early warning system.

Fore-warned is fore-armed.

May 6, 2005, 02:33 PM
It's good's just that it should be "get a big (well trained) dog AND a shotgun."

Oleg Volk
May 6, 2005, 02:36 PM
Caption on my site reads: "Dogs are fine as early warning systems and as a part of your home defense...but don't expect your pet to do all the fighting for you. Get a shotgun."

The dog is Anna, my favorite cannine. Very friendly and mild.

May 6, 2005, 02:39 PM
Caption on my site reads: "Dogs are fine as early warning systems and as a part of your home defense...but don't expect your pet to do all the fighting for you. Get a shotgun."

I guess that the only possible response is, "Great minds think alike!'.


May 6, 2005, 03:13 PM

I have always thought you do a outstanding job with your posters. You always manage to drive a point home.

This one really hits home for me. My wife and I have two greyhounds (rescued ex-racers). It was never our intention for the"the boys" to provide any type of home protection. They are simply the wrong breed for that (not even close). But we did have a little hope they would provide some warning if anyone was around the house.

All we know is the "the boys" will do a great job of tripping the intruder at the door. That's about it.

Your posters usually have a very serious message for very serious issues. I think you did a great job using just a tiny bit of humor to make a very serious point.

Thank you for all your hard work


May 6, 2005, 03:18 PM
Here's a great THR quote on the subject:

"Never get a pet to defend your home! It's like whoring out a daughter to make more money, sure they are capable of the task, but not created for it!"

May 6, 2005, 03:24 PM
Get a shotgun too

Norman Dog
May 6, 2005, 04:14 PM
I got a dog to go with my shotgun!

May 6, 2005, 04:14 PM
Get a Pekinese-they're the most vicious dogs I've ever met.

I'm not kidding-I love dogs, even pitbulls and other "fighting" dogs, but I give those little red monsters a wide berth.

May 6, 2005, 04:19 PM
No one else has asked - Oleg, is that your puppy? We have Cocker Spaniels, one who I watched take on two full grown Black Labs, and almost win. All heart, and great alarms. They will definately give us enough time to get weaponed up.

Oleg Volk
May 6, 2005, 04:35 PM
Lab/retriever mix, belongs to a good friend.

May 6, 2005, 04:43 PM

His name is "Killer".
You may laugh, but not ONE crazed axe murderer has made it past the front room.

Seriously, his job is to be the burglar alarm.
DEALING with the burglar is MY job.

Even a small 12 pound Pomeranian can make enough noise to waken Sleeping Beauty after a weekend drunk with the Seven Dwarfs.

NO ONE gets into the yard undetected.
After that, it's up to me and the Remington Police gun.

Tom Servo
May 6, 2005, 05:14 PM
Oleg, she's adorable :)

I have two lovable mutts ( who, friendly as they are, make a huge clamor whenever someone comes up to the door. This does a great job of a) warning me when someone's approaching the house and b) discouraging average burglars. They're not too good at distinguishing "friend" from "foe," though. They're firm believers in the fact that "a stranger's just a friend you haven't met." I've never raised a dog to be mean, and I'd never want to. I have alot of reservations about training an animal to attack.

A couple of years ago, a lady moved in two doors down from me, and she was walking a little doberman puppy. As they passed my driveway, I walked out to pet the dog, and the owner replied, "don't be nice...I'm training him to be a watchdog." I could have said alot of things, but I just settled for, "well, keep it and yourself away from my house in the future."

There's no "nice" way to make a dog mean, and anyone who does (besides the qualified types like K-9, and "mean" is inaccurate in that case) should not be allowed in contact with animals. I've heard of people leaving pitbulls out in the yard with 20-pound weights around their necks to make them stronger and pissed-off at the world. All this for what? To make an inherently loving animal resentful and dangerous?

Plain fact is, if someone's determined to invade your home, they'll just shoot the dog first anyway. Luckily, I took my oldest shooting once, and it turns out she hates the sound of gunfire, so whenever she hears the slide rack, she goes downstairs and sleeps on the couch in the basement. The younger one knows to follow. This works out well, since if someone is breaking in, the dogs will be safe. An intruder in my house has other things to worry about. :)

May 6, 2005, 05:49 PM
This is very reminiscient of Mossberg's current ad campaign, where the contrast dogs and shotguns...IIRC, the tagline is:

One of these security systems needs training, food, water and walkies.

The other just needs oil.

BTW, AWESOME character catching photo of a good doggie! She reminds me of a dog from my past. <<sniff>>.

May 6, 2005, 05:54 PM
A bit of a departure from your usual style, Oleg, but it's very effective.

Nice-looking dog, too.

May 6, 2005, 06:26 PM
Do you really need a shotgun if you have this guy protecting you? (

May 6, 2005, 06:29 PM
Zrex, what the heck kinda dog is that? That's quite cute!

May 6, 2005, 06:33 PM
BlackCat - Its not my dog, a friend sent me the pic a few months ago. It sort of looks like a SHEETzu or Lhasa Apso to me, but I really have no idea.

May 6, 2005, 06:42 PM

where does one purchase a cartoon dog?

I assume they're much easier to clean up after


Fred Fuller
May 6, 2005, 06:47 PM
We got the shotgun AND the dog (in our case, a Fila Brasileiro...).


May 6, 2005, 07:03 PM
Well, she looks harmless enough but I am not entirely sure what she would do to a stranger coming in. She sure sounds VERY intimidating. Oleg, feel free to use this if you want. I think I even have a hi-res somewhere if you need it.


Standing Wolf
May 6, 2005, 07:18 PM
Between my assault kitty and some .44 magnum revolvers, I think I've got things covered.

May 6, 2005, 07:24 PM
I think this cat's owner is protected.

May 6, 2005, 07:32 PM
Well, in the type areas I like to live in, all I gotta do is have a barbed-wire fence around the perimeter, a few cows, and sign that says


and have the bull there to back it up. Hey, I may not have that right now, but I've seen where some folks did.

May 6, 2005, 07:43 PM ready to do your part. When the BG came to my sister's house he clubbed her dog as he came through the back yard. Thought the dog just ran off 'till we found her the next morning. Let the dogs warn you...then step in...if you're there. I know they're "just dogs" but when its yours...its FAMILY!
Mark. P.S. Kinda got off topic...I really liked the poster. Its right on. Love your work, Oleg.

May 6, 2005, 08:01 PM
A few weeks back on the Discovery Channel they have a show called "It Takes a Thief" (or something like that). Anyway the premise is that two former burglars show a family how to improve their "security" by actually breaking into their house while the family watches on CCTV in a van parked outside. In this particular episode the former burglar took all the goodies, trashed the house and took one of their dogs with him !!!!

Family got their stuff (and the dog back either later that day or the next day).

May 6, 2005, 08:59 PM
i got a recycled mutt from the local shelter. he's only 25 lbs. but has a 150 lb. mouth. he lets me know when's something's up and gets behind me when i check it out. he's loud enough to cover the sound of a slide being racked so i guess we got it covered.

May 6, 2005, 09:09 PM
I would love to see a BG try that with one of our cell dogs. Belgium Malamuirs, expensive as all get out, and attack trained, Not guard, or patrol, but attack, highly trained puppies. For about $8000, I would hope so! The cool thing is, when one retires after 5 years, the handler can "buy" him from the Dept for $1......

May 6, 2005, 09:45 PM
I want to go on the record here by stating that I have never had a shotgun mount my leg for its own gratification, nor have I had one muzzle my crotch.

So there are some drawbacks to shotguns...



May 6, 2005, 10:07 PM
Shotguns have the added advantage of not loading themselves and running around shooting people.

Dogs have minds of their own...

May 6, 2005, 10:31 PM
Nice poster, Oleg. My only suggestion would be to vertically center the top line of text in the black box.


Tom Servo
May 7, 2005, 12:23 AM
I want to go on the record here by stating that I have never had a shotgun mount my leg for its own gratification, nor have I had one muzzle my crotch.
Then you're not spending enough time at gunshows :)

May 7, 2005, 02:37 AM
Massad Ayoob has a book on personal protection that's pretty good, although a bit dated. One of the things he covers is what criminals fear. The answer? Dogs and guns. He recommended getting two dogs (regular dogs, not trained attack or guard dogs), because it's really hard for a single person to stop both.

My first dog was a rottweiler/doberman mix, and my family now has a black lab/great dane mix. I'm a big guy, so two big dogs just seems natural.

May 7, 2005, 07:27 AM
Got the dogs, got the shotgun. I have neighbors on either side of me that have alarm systems. Both of their houses have been broken into. My house without an alarm has been given a wide berth. May have something to do with the pit bulls sleeping in the bay window. The only danger they represent is if the burglar happens to be allergic to dog spit, but the BGs don't have to know that.

Watch that Boston, she bites!

May 7, 2005, 09:38 AM

The only warning I'd get is Teddy jumping off the bed to greed the BG and give him the "will you be my FRIEND???" look. Sheer cuteness might give me time to rack the shotgun though.

May 7, 2005, 02:16 PM
I've never been much of a dog fan. I mean, I like some dogs, but I'd never have one. But, I was considering an alternative home defense pet.

Bears! Think about it. Some guy breaks into your house, expecting some tiny dog, and runs face first into an angry bear. End of problem. Well, except for the problem of replacing the carpets and getting blood stains off the walls. Ah, but there are some people that are skeptics. "Disk, there is no way you can train an attack bear!"

Well, there was only one way to find out. Granted, I didn't have many goblins to test my theory on... But I had PLENTY of officers. Close enough! Let the testing begin!

So, I got two bear cubs to train. This should be easy. Bears are vicious, right? They should be easy to train to attack officers! The first test subject was a 1LT, as I figured no one would miss him if the bears passed the test.

"Ok. Attack bears! If anyone touches my Mtn Dew supply, rip their hands off!"



Ok, so the arm thing is not working. Maybe it's not vicious enough.

"Attack bears! If anyone tries to put their grubby mitts on my Mountain Dew, go for the face!"

"Uh, yes. Try climbing up the officer to get to the tasty face. Uhm. Yes, head butting the officer's leg is good. But sink in some teeth while you're at it, take him down! STOP LICKING HIS HAND!"

Test failed. Bears do not make good attack animals. Heck, they can't even properly maul officers. I agree, buy a shotgun.

(I'd meantion my tests of silver, garlic and crucifixes on officers, but that'd be OT.)

May 7, 2005, 02:33 PM
For GOD sakes at least train your dog in the use of firearms. It helps a lot if they can help out with the cleaning and storing chores as well :D

Here she is ready for action. Don't let that docile pose fool you she will leap into action at any moment......really......look at those viscious alert eyes......She will bite your head off..........not buying it huh?

May 7, 2005, 03:11 PM
My mutt is pretty good at waking me.
It might be someone in the yard or. if he is real insistant, it'll be the girl dog from down the street. :rolleyes:
I had a friend that kept four mastifs in his yard.
They were originally bred to protect the British royal family.
Interesting fact; they don't bark and they don't stop people from coming into the yard.
What they like to do is lay around in the shadows and watch.
With their brown and grey speckled coatts, they hide quite well for big dogs.
If someone comes in, they circle around him and he better freeze.
The 'girls' were a dainty 180lbs each. They 'guys', over 200!
Like I said they won't stop you from coming in, but they will stop you from leaving. :eek:

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