All your NAMES are Belong to US...


June 27, 2005, 03:41 PM
The Supreme Court ED thread is a first for THR - or maybe I've just not been here long enough. A lot of posts in that thread - maybe even the majority are out and out saying the line has been crossed, that we aren't in the awkward stage anymore. Not only recommendations for impeachment but hanging have been made in regards to the justices.

Now I don't know about you guys....

Uh... Wait just a moment. [dons tin foil hat] Ahhhhh - there we go.

You know of course that Agent Schmukatelli at the BATFE and his bro Agent Spymore at the FBI monitor THR.

They're keeping track and all your names have been transfered to the we know everything about you super duper computerized gubmint data base.

So - some day - when the fecal matter actually does impact the rotating air screw some guy - or more likely guys with a black ski mask and a 10mm Mac-10 will come knocking - no wait - he won't knock - on your door to take you away. :what:

I know this is true - really. Come on - threads about how much ammo you have and what guns do you own? Please could those gubmint guys be any less subtle?

[takes off hat]

No really - they will - I swear it... :evil:

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June 27, 2005, 03:47 PM
Lol, a little far out but a fair point! Lol.

Agent Schmuk "So let's have a list of your possessions.

Dude "No way!"

Agent "Ok."

Later on forum

Dude "So yea I own this and this and that and I'm getting this..."


Standing Wolf
June 27, 2005, 04:02 PM
You know of course that Agent Schmukatelli at the BATFE and his bro Agent Spymore at the FBI monitor THR.

Yeah, yeah, yeah! I happen to know Pat Schmuckatelli is one of us. I'm admittedly not too sure about this Spymore person, but if he or she is with the F., the B., and the I., what's to worry about? He or she probably had his or her gun stolen last week, and hasn't quite realized it yet.

June 27, 2005, 08:06 PM
threads about how much ammo you have and what guns do you own?

Who says we were telling the truth? :evil:


1911 guy
June 27, 2005, 08:11 PM
and I run my own disinformation campaign. Oh, and did I mention...I AM NAPOLEAN! :p

June 27, 2005, 08:28 PM
what's to worry about? He or she probably had his or her gun stolen last week, and hasn't quite realized it yet

Nope - through the grapevine I hear it was run over, must have been dropped with the Agent trying to juggle all them stacks of paper to read about SCOTUS decisons.

Seems a fella lives in back of Agent Spymore , property backs to each other. Agent Spymore is so busy with War on "[]" he hasn't figured out that "aroma" is not an alternative fuel source - instead moonshine whisky. Hide in plain site is what the distiller figures.

Ran over it, making a "run", backed up, retreived it, and tossed on the fire...ewwy, them plastic guns sure do stink... ;)

June 27, 2005, 08:37 PM
In that case, I'm going to throw off the count.

I own:
two B-2 bombers dolled up in urban camo
three crated up GAU-8 Avenger 30mm gattling guns
one Iowa class battleship
the 2nd Battalion 75th Regiment
Lincoln's tophat
a case of Cuban Romeo Y Julietta cigars

June 27, 2005, 08:42 PM
Its not as if they could not obtain the information through other means, or simply look through previous posts.

Aside from that, i sahould mention i owna 20mm gun taken off a bradley APC and a hummer hiddin under my house with 2 .50 M2's, m240, and m249.

June 27, 2005, 10:11 PM
Dude, you showed me last weekend, it's totally a 25mm remember? That was awesome it shoots like 50 miles.

June 27, 2005, 10:17 PM
Heck as as I go, every gun I own with the exception of one I bought used, the feds have approved when I bought it anyway, let em read all they want, they already know.

June 27, 2005, 10:21 PM
Agent Spymore told me to tell you guys that the government of the UuuuuuNited States of Uhmurica would never keep the names of gun owners in a data base. Nope - wouldn't do that.

He said that you must trust him. He is a loyal government employee and patriotic citizen. Trust him - he works for the government.

Really - that's what he ordered - oops - requested that I tell you guys. Those guys in mirrored shades in big black SUV's parked in front of my house didn't influence me at all - nope - not one little bit. Agent Spymore is our friend...

June 27, 2005, 11:30 PM
If Agent Schmuckatelli is reading this...

The chair is against the wall...John has a long mustache...

[/Red Dawn]

I'm betting that Agent Schmuckatelli (FBI or ATF) couldn't possibly care less about how much ammo I've got, or how many guns I own, as Agent S has helicopters, tanks, and more lawyers than I could ever dream of having.

I'd even like to think that maybe Agent Schmuckatelli grew up in a small town like me, likes deer hunting, likes shooting, believes in the Second know, maybe Agent S might possibly be just another American.

Or maybe Agent S is a JBT of the first order...either way, come and get them.



PS: Someone set us up the bomb

June 28, 2005, 01:28 AM
I reckon now would be a good time to fess up as to my true possessions;

USS Missouri: Berthed in Creek in my back yard.
Patriot missle Launcher on my back Porch
Tomahawk Missle Launcher on Roof.
2-50 cal. MGs on my Attack Ford Ranger. :D :D :D

June 28, 2005, 01:53 AM
So I'm the only guy here that had an FBI special agent "order" them to buy more ammo? It came about in a conversation when I meantioned I had moved to a new area. She asked me if I owned firearms, to which I chuckled a bit. Then she advised me to stock up on ammo because a significant number of gangs had moved into the area.

Most feds are just paperpushers for the most part. It's just a job to them, and a number are nice enough folks.

Shucks. The federales ain't worried about me owning guns. They're probably more annoyed at me because I played red team on a few antiterrorism drills. I always won, even in rigged table games.

June 28, 2005, 10:02 PM
Well if there is any great conspiracy, I'm already short-listed anyway:

Let's see:

1. C&R license
2. Form 4s on file for machine guns
3. CCW licenses for multiple states
4. DEA license
5. Etc.

Whether and what I post here or anywhere else will make no difference.

June 28, 2005, 11:27 PM
Everyone is watching...

June 29, 2005, 05:32 AM
I have a Phalanx cannon on my roof programmed to target jack boots and blue helmets. :D

June 29, 2005, 06:40 AM
HA! I got 'em all fooled. I store all my guns on the mother ship. They'll never find them. :neener:

Well. Except for my "Blasto-The Atomic Cannon" but that's ok. That's in my wife's dogs name.

June 29, 2005, 08:31 AM
Paranoia is a wonderful thing,,,,,,,

June 29, 2005, 08:41 AM
Oh, man.
As soon as I get my starcruiser out of Lake Michigan, I'm SOOOOO out of here! ;)

June 29, 2005, 10:14 AM
three crated up GAU-8 Avenger 30mm gattling guns
Only 3? I own 74. :D

June 29, 2005, 10:29 AM
Ok ok I admit it, I am the captain of the SSD Executor rebuilt after The Battle of Endor. It has a full compliment of TIEs, Stormtroopers, two Dark Jedi, and a support fleet including twenty Imperial Star Destroyers. I also have a Death Star on twenty four hour standby. :evil:

(edited to add) Long live the Empire :neener:

The Rabbi
June 29, 2005, 10:34 AM
Wasnt Agent Shmuckatelli the "only one in this room professional enough to handle a Glock 40"??

June 29, 2005, 11:03 AM
I live in Jersey.

I was involved in wierd stuff in the Navy that required extra special investigations of my character and good name.

I own many firearms and have had a rare PRNJ CC permit, as well as a current permit to sell weapons in New Jersey in retail stores. I belong to a dozen forums and 2A organizations. I write letters to my (worthless on this matter) legislators on 2A subjects. I was arrested 3 dacades ago on firearms related charges (dropped and espunged).

The FBI has so much freakin' information on me that they are probably throwing out the old stuff just to make room for the new.

Think of me as the canary in the mineshaft...they'll be after me first.

1 old 0311
June 29, 2005, 11:31 AM
Prepare for the worst and hope for the best.


June 30, 2005, 02:32 AM
If Schmuckatelli and Spymore really worked fro the FB&I I wouldn''t worry.
Folks working for the FB&I can be controlled, merely invoke the name of the mighty J Edgar and they will blindly do your bidding.

But I worry because I know that they really work for the BATFE and that scares me.
No term limit on Janet Sterno and I just know that Hillarious will make her the AG again.
We are all going to burn.


June 30, 2005, 02:40 AM
Agent Scmukatelli and Mr. Spymore are actuallt double me.

And if anyone is keeping a list of what I own, they are in real trouble...being that I only own three guns that are permanent, the rest are only a transient in my collection, waiting to be sold or traded for something new a poosibly more interesting.

Old Dog
June 30, 2005, 05:22 PM
THEY start being afraid to go to work, count on that much. They are outnumbered 100 to 1, and they are proven gutless baby killers.
Huh? Your first day on THR and you're making threatening statements such as this? Not a real auspicious start for you, in my book ...

June 30, 2005, 05:37 PM
All of my firearms are at Elvis' house baked up inside a fresh batch of doughnuts to hide them from prying eyes. :D

Dave Markowitz
June 30, 2005, 09:15 PM
It's a good thing that they don't know about my Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator.

Wait a sec ... OH CRAP!


R.H. Lee
June 30, 2005, 10:16 PM
I am ninja. I don't need no steenking gun. I tear your heart out of chest and show to you before I eat it.

July 1, 2005, 11:09 AM
I tear your heart out of chest and show to you before I eat it. All your heart are belong to Riley! :cool:

Double Naught Spy
July 1, 2005, 06:15 PM
Who says we were telling the truth?

I figure everyone underestimates by at least 1/2.

July 1, 2005, 06:20 PM

July 1, 2005, 07:25 PM
I keep a mounted MG42 in front of the house, and an AA gun in back. Just in case.

Oh yeah, all of those were stolen from the military.

July 1, 2005, 07:33 PM
Oh yeah, all of those were stolen from the military.

I'm impressed. Considering no Army has used the MG42 in a good number of years. :neener:

1 old 0311
July 1, 2005, 07:33 PM
My theory on this is the same as John Hankcock.Write it large so there is no mistake. I use my name on all the boards. I faced death a few times in Vietnan. I don't fear life.Handle things as they come.


July 1, 2005, 07:43 PM
[Obi Wan Kenobi voice]

These are not the guns you're looking for.

[/Obi Wan Kenobi voice]

July 1, 2005, 07:55 PM
Oh yeah? Well I'm Spartacus!!

And they gubmint doesn't know about the .357 revolver with 10000 rounds boxed up, shrinkwrapped and cosmolined, stashed in an airtight box buried under the crawlspace of my house ...



Agent Schmuckatelli
July 1, 2005, 09:37 PM
Dear THRers,
Well, well. I guess i wasn't too interested in the title of this thread, as it took me all this time to get to it not even realizing i was missing a thread referencing my august personage all this time.

Now, since I've become somewhat attached to you over the years, I'll clue you in to a few things in which you have expressed interest in this thread.
Spymore? His first name is Voyeur. He, like so many others, will never admit it but has nothing better to do than to keep tabs on American citizens who are not otherwise engaging in criminal behavior. Most federal law enforcement does that. Real criminals shoot back, which is much too dangerous. He gets paid the same to type all your info into a computer as his cubicle-mate does to infiltrate the gangs.

Are we keeping all the 'how much ammo do I own' threads in a file. Are you kidding? You throw it in our lap and expect us not to keep it! of course we file it away. Not officially, of course because that's illegal. But it isn't illegal for me to keep a personal list at home and call it a Christmas card list. As soon as it becomes legal, we'll just upload it to the central computer. Don't believe me? Good. Keep right on posting, then.

Don't you DARE compare me to that goofball who claimed to be 'the only one professional enough" to handle his "Glock Fo-tee". What an idiot! Recall he was DEA, not ATF. Now, nnot everyone at the ATF is a firearms expert. but rest assured that I AM and so are my closest comerades. When we come to your house (not if, WHEN), we will NOT be shooting ourselves!

As for being a regular guy, sure i am. i like football, porno, and books about wars. I am with you and every other american that the latest ED decision is wrong! Hey, I've made up my mind and i put every low-level functionary, tax assessor, and street cop on notice here and now: come to my house to "ED" it and I'm answering with bullets ONLY! Don't like it, TOUGH SH_T! You should know exactly what your are participating in at that time, and if you don't then you haven't been paying attention and don't deserve to live anyway.
Having said that, the ATF will be called to ED others if they are known to have firearms. I will have no problem doing 'the usual' to you who think you will be like me and shoot it out: suppressed 22's for streetlights, automobile tires, and pets; stun devices; dynamic entry through several entrances at once; shoot anything remotely suspicious (was that a peanut butter sandwich? no matter); make up a plausible excuse; claim you are militia/white supremacists/ sexual deviants- whatever works and makes you "OK to kill" for the media and sheeple. if we botch it a little- when have we ever?- burn everything. They only want the land anyway, so burning you out actually saves them demolition expenses.
How can i be so two-faced? Who cares! I don't give a darn about you, or the constitution, or anything else except my own interests. I don't think like you and i don't want to. People like you just do not get jobs like mine. Deal with it.
Have a happy 4th of july!
I think i am going to the Capital Mall in DC, where everyone has to be disarmed and searched before they can celebrate their freedom. HAHAHAHAH! Of course, as a trusted government employee, i get to carry my Glock 18. See you there!


July 1, 2005, 09:50 PM
Quote: Im BATMAN. Oh yeah? Well I'm Spartacus!! Really? My name is John, and this is MY weapon of choice...

July 2, 2005, 12:17 AM
BryanP you lied I'M Sparticus. In adition to my Imperial duties.

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