Cry For Help From a Closet Gunnie


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Doctor Suarez
August 1, 2005, 03:41 AM
Since I saw the light and became a gun owner and gun rights advocate, Iíve been visiting these boards. And heaven knows, though I try to help people with my limited knowledge and argumentative acumen, Iíve generally taken more than Iíve given.

And todayís going to be no different.

Now that shooting and gun rights have become my major hobby and political axe-to-grind, Iíve got a real problem.

My whole family, both on my side and my wifeís, are anti-gun. Theyíre not Brady-Campaigners or anything, but theyíre definitely on the anti-side. So, for now, THEY DONíT KNOW ABOUT ANY OF THIS.

So far, as an apartment dweller, Iíve been able to hide my one handgun and near-weekly range trips. And since this place is a hassle and itís over the hill from them, they never visit. However, weíre closing on a house in their neighborhood, and even though my wife and I are both doing well in our careers, we needed our parentsí help to get this place. (This is LA, after all.)

So now, with income and space, Iím going to start buying rifles, shotguns, second handguns, and itís going to suddenly get extremely hard to hide all this from prying eyes.

I hate hiding things from people, and I hate not being up-front about something I believe in, but the amount of shock and trauma this would create in my family is a real boogeyman.

Right now, I have three options:

1) Continue living as a clandestine gunnie, worrying and hiding the truth until such a time that Iím so self-sufficient that their anger no longer matters.

2) Wait for a traumatic, horrible, scary defensive gun use so I can say ďYeah, well, turns out I was right.Ē

3) Come clean and have a series of horrible fights with people I love who just donít understand.

Iím really up a creek here. Any advice in any direction would be extremely useful. Also, Iíll be happy to clarify any of the specifics.

Again, thank you all for taking the time to have a look at this. People on these boards have been nothing short of amazing since I started down this road. One thing that constantly proves to me that weíre right in the guns debate is the strength of character Iíve encountered in the firearms community.

Thanks and have a good night.

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Reno
August 1, 2005, 04:22 AM
Take them out shooting.

Doctor Suarez
August 1, 2005, 04:26 AM
Heh... I thought about that. My dad would totally be a revolver guy. Still, that would be one AWKWARD car ride to Burbank...

Alex45ACP
August 1, 2005, 05:43 AM
Arrange a "mugging" with one of your friends as the assailant. You display your firearm and scare away the mugger, saving the day. That should show them the light :D

thereisnospoon
August 1, 2005, 06:51 AM
Just come clean. All the talk in the world is not going to change their minds right now-initially- but once you come clean, they were learn, over time, that owning guns effects you in a positive way...makes you a better citizen and sooner or later, they will cone around and go to the range with you.

If you "hide it" like a junkie (wow, sorta fits doesn't it?) they will only have more "ammo" for later.

Do any of them smoke? I am not an anti-smoker, but it is a choice, much like owning guns, but puts others at a much greater risk than owning a firearm or two (or twenty)...

Good Luck

Old Guy
August 1, 2005, 07:01 AM
One of the dreads of the Anti crowd is "Your gun will be used against you"

Two reasons for this assumption, true concerns by the way! You are not trained well, fixable, two, gun in plain sight, for any one to steal, or use, also a simple solution is available.

Number two first, 1K spent on good safe, bolted to floor in bedroom, only one stays in sight (at night) back to one! Join the IDPA Club closest to you, teaches handling, and correct equipment selection, then a good basic defense with a firearm course.

Both of the ideas above are common sense, and will help you, if the family group recoil in horror, and run away from your house in total shock, so be it. Just think of the savings in groceries!

Kamicosmos
August 1, 2005, 07:27 AM
You're an adult. There is nothing wrong with owning and using firearms. They are legal. Not like you're admiting to being a long time pot head or something.

Say it loud, say it proud! I'm a gun-owner! And if they don't like it....oh well.

Alex45ACP
August 1, 2005, 07:29 AM
Not like you're admiting to being a long time pot head or something.

And even if you were, that's no big deal either. Not much different from drinking alcohol, except society tells you it's different.

Spot77
August 1, 2005, 08:09 AM
Option #3.

I was in the same boat with my wife and in-laws.

I just eased my wife into it by taking her to the range with me before buying my first handgun. Once she saw how much shooting really is a sport, she sorta' loosened up a bit. She agreed to the purchase of the handgun, BUT NO AMMO IN THE HOUSE!! Ah...the evil ammo.....because she still wasn't convinced that the gun wouldn't just wake up in the middle of the night, let itself out of the safe and start shooting randomly.

Anyway, two years later, with near a dozen guns in the house, her attitude has changed. When I go away for a few days at a time, she always says things, "The .45 is loaded right?". And the night safe has made a nice home next to the bed in our new house.

It takes a while, but you gotta' be yourself and live YOUR life, not theirs.

Good luck!

Kingcreek
August 1, 2005, 09:04 AM
Take a lesson from some of society's other groups,
BE PROUD
Be up front and honest, then you can discuss and reason (if they haven't already run away screaming hysterically).

beerslurpy
August 1, 2005, 10:04 AM
They will learn to live with it. The longer you have already been living with the guns without any harm the less likely they are to be worried about it.

My parents were super anti-gun like 15 years ago. Now they dont care. It took about a year to wear them down at first but they pretty much stopped worrying when they saw I didnt take the gun and start robbing banks.

bogie
August 1, 2005, 10:05 AM
What kinda doctor are you?

If you're an MD, you're in luck. Doctors get attacked. They get home invaded. Johnny Junkie can't get his bit legally, so he goes looking at what he sees as the source. Doesn't matter that you may be a podiatrist - he's sure you've got a big ol' jar of oxy that you just don't want to share...

If you're not an MD...

Hmmm...

"Honey, a guy from my high school graduating class got mugged. I'm concerned."

"Honey, some of the guys from the office took me to a shooting range, and I'm hooked."

hillbilly
August 1, 2005, 10:14 AM
You must come out.

But choose wisely how to do it.

First, you've come out to your wife, right?

You've taken her to the range, right?

Then, pick one or the other sets of parents and invite them to the range.

Take them shooting.

Don't push it, just invite.

If they freak out, they freak out.

But you should not "hide" this at all.

Hiding it now just makes it even more of a freakout for the parents and inlaws later when you are finally outed.

But please tell me you've taken your wife to the range already.

Hillbilly

longrifleman
August 1, 2005, 10:49 AM
Why are they anti? I've noticed that quite a few folks who are anti are that way more from ignorance and the constant propaganda from the media. If that is the case, some education might be all it takes.

Jews for the Preservation of Firearms Ownership (http://www.jpfo.org/)
This is a good source, if you haven't already found it. For urban types, this is a different perspective that might get them thinking.

They know you, and hopefully, think you are a sane, levelheaded, decent person. Use that to get them thinking about the stereotype of gun owners.

And RENO is right, get them shooting!

A1C Lickey
August 1, 2005, 11:22 AM
This may sound kind of selfish, but wait until AFTER closing on the house before you come out. Then start with the misses. Take her to the range with you. Show her that guns aren't evil, and that she doesn't need to be scared. Then slowly work on the family. Best of luck.

shield20
August 1, 2005, 11:36 AM
I think educating them as to why you are pro-gun is the place to start. Point out articles/reports in the news about all the criminal behavior, terrorism, etc....show them the valid need and desire for self defense. Point out the lack of ability of anyone else to protect your family. Bring home some gun magazines and show an interest - they will ask you what it is all about. Tell them you 'went to the range with whoever, and shot such and such whenever' and how fun it was. Be prepared with little facts such as how more toddlers die from drowning in 5 gal pails then from gun shots. Bring up recent events like the senate bill, the expiring of the AWB, the London bombings or whatever as in-roads to favorably discuss guns with your wife and family.

You will have to show and justify the desire, the need, AND the safety (and the $$$ with the wife!) - and so debunk all their reasons for being anti-gun. Important to be confident in YOUR decision (and reasons) to be pro-gun - without being embarssed or ashamed. Show them that liking guns, and carrying guns does NOT make you weird, or psycho, or some nut, or suddenly turn you into a killer - but instead a sensible, smart, and prepared person.

My sister-in-law is a real 60's child - always it was NO guns AT ALL - not even toy ones. Until after 9/11 - when she suddenly showed a much greater interest in having 'something' around, and learning how to use it. I like to think part of that was my explaining how all the goods they had stocked away 'just in case' were useless w/o having a way to defend themselves and their families if things ever did get to that point.

They can change their ideas - just need to have the facts and the patience!

HankB
August 1, 2005, 11:46 AM
Maintain silence until you've achieved financial independence!!!

Afterwards, I'd avoid bringing it up, but I wouldn't lie if the subject came up. (It must, from time to time, otherwise you wouldn't know they're all "anti," right?)

There's no real need to argue - if things get too intense, as an adult, you have the option of walking away.

But if some of your relatives won't be persuaded, are unwilling to "agree to disagree" and insist on shoving a "guns are BAD" message down your throat, you could always format your aguments along the lines of "My life and that of my family are worth protecting, using the best means available. Sometimes it means smoke detectors, sometimes it means wearing seat belts, sometimes it may mean using a gun. If you don't think so yourself, at least have the decency to let the rest of your family know, so they'll be aware that they can't look to your for help if the worst happens."

If they say "a gun is more likely to hurt you" challenge them - ask them what the source of that old wive's tale is.

If they respond that it's "common knowledge" reply that it was once common knowledge that the world was flat, and ask them again the source of their "information."

Rebar
August 1, 2005, 11:49 AM
I'd start out by showing her John Lotts book, More Guns, Less Crime (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0226493644/qid=1122907583/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_1/102-9331706-3724901?v=glance&s=books&n=507846), and saying "hey I've been reading this book and it's changed my mind on a lot of things". That will ease into a converstaion where you can gently debunk the lies she's been told all these years.

Ed
August 1, 2005, 11:54 AM
I really am trying but I can't understand this. You are an Adult. You own a gun. They don't like guns. They don't own guns. I see no problem. I could understand if they had a relegious problem with you drinking and smoking and you didn't want them to find out. But I really don't understand this. You are being to nice. If they are going to throw a fit and whine and argue because you own a piece of metal.....They need to grow up. I understand that you don't want to cause an arguement...but...I guess I would let them get mad..I would in fact be mad at them. There are some times when appeasment goes to far. And I am a VERY laid back, try to avoid arguements,kind of person.

hillbilly
August 1, 2005, 11:55 AM
Doc Suarez, I'm going to go against a lot of folks who are well-intentioned, and who are saying to give your wife and parents and in-laws this book to read, or this pamphlet to read, or anything to read.

All that reading stuff is great, but don't start out with it.

Start out with a real, tangible experience of actually shooting a gun in a safe environment. Make sure they all have FUN shooting.

After they have fun shooting, then give them that stuff to read.

Actual experience first.

Then stuff to read.

hillbilly

WT
August 1, 2005, 11:59 AM
I don't see much of a problem.

Do your relatives come over and rummage thru your drawers and closets? Do they routinely go thru your personal belongings?

You're a big boy, I assume. Why bring the subject up at all? My relatives have different interests that I do. So what?

Do you have to report to your relatives on your activities? Where you go, who you see?

Strange ...........

CAnnoneer
August 1, 2005, 12:13 PM
Owning a gun is your right. If they give you hard time about it, they are limiting your legal rights. Don't be apologetic for having that which belongs to you.

It is clear you have to come out of the closet. Women hate lies and secrets more than anything. You probably will be in more trouble for keeping it secret rather than what you kept secret. Women are crazy that way... :rolleyes:

Getting them to the range will be a really big pill for them to swallow especially after you come out of the closet. I would recommend against it until they get over the shock.

It is best to ease them into it. First tell the wife, explain your reasons, and provide education as needed. Give her some books to read about what guns can and cannot do. "Living without Fear" comes to mind. Once you convert the wife, 95% of your problems are solved. :)

Finally, just because the parents help you with a house does not mean they have the say how you live your life. If they make it a condition, refuse their help. It is a question of whether you value your freedom more than your convenience. They will control your life forever so long as you keep failing to reassert your rights and freedoms.

Good luck! :)

pax
August 1, 2005, 12:39 PM
Live your own life.

You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but live your own life.

Don't live other people's lives, and don't let them live yours.

pax

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live; it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. -- Oscar Wilde

Doctor Suarez
August 1, 2005, 12:44 PM
Okay, I think, like the classic game "Operator", things have mutated a bit.

For the record:

MY WIFE ALREADY KNOWS. MY WIFE IS TOTALLY COOL WITH IT.

and

I DO NOT LIVE WITH MY PARENTS. BUT THEY ARE HELPING US HAVE OUR HOUSE.

Now, that being said, the advice I've gotten here is really quite excellent. I'm just sort of trying to figure out how to play this.

I agree that waiting until I'm more on my feet is better.

I agree that this can't go on forever.

Basically, at some point I'm going to sit them down, preface the conversation by saying "nobody's sick, pregnant, or in any trouble. Nothing's actually wrong." I also think it would be better if my wife joined in. Otherwise, they'll figure out a way to use her against me.

Another problem is that my paternal uncle is much more rabidly anti-gun, and he's also the family contractor who will be doing most of the initial work on the place. Pity... we're removing a bedroom fire place and replacing it with something, but how do we get him to build a safe notch without giving it all up?

My parents actually wouldn't be the hardest to crack. My wife's parents, however, are hopeless. And what's funny is that they have more gun ownership in their family. Her father's father collected guns for years, and her maternal uncle just bought an AR-15. The problem is that those men are patriarchs who outrank them. We're (supposedly) suboordinate, and in that case her parents are EXTREMELY dictatorial.

Gee... I really have newfound empathy for closeted homosexuals.

pax
August 1, 2005, 12:49 PM
Another problem is that my paternal uncle is much more rabidly anti-gun, and he's also the family contractor who will be doing most of the initial work on the place. Pity... we're removing a bedroom fire place and replacing it with something, but how do we get him to build a safe notch without giving it all up?
Good grief, man, you live in LA. You don't have to explain a safe!

pax

Ridge
August 1, 2005, 01:02 PM
I think you should take a leason from Homosexual's on this one (Yes,I support gay rights) say it loud and say it proud "I refuse to be a victim!" be open about it,reguardless of how they act they are still your family.

Kurush
August 1, 2005, 01:08 PM
I had a similar situation, all the nearby members of my family are somewhere between Liberals and slightly reformed leftists. In my case it was a bit easier for them to accept because I'm mainly interested in historic rifles and they can grok collecting and interest in history a lot easier than shooting per se. They have all come around and I've taken all but one (sister) to the shooting range.

A specific gunphobia (or hoplophobia if you prefer) is very common in urban areas for a very simple reason: they have no experience with guns in any context other than crime. If they hear gunshots in the distance, it's not a range or hunters, it's a drive-by. If they see a gun presented, it's because they're watching a movie or witnessing a crime, and that gun is about to be used to injure or kill someone. Why are terrorists afraid of dogs? Because the only dogs in the Middle East are attack dogs. Same thing.

What I found in my case was that their fear of guns abated very rapidly after they saw my enthusiasm and safe handling of the weapons themselves. A phobia in a mentally ill person requires many sessions of exposure therapy to overcome, but for normal people it melts away like frost in the sun. The problem in your case is going to be staging an initial exposure in such a way that they don't feel like they're in a movie and you're a bad guy drawing on them. I suggest taking the most reasonable member of your family out for 1-on-1 coffee or something and talking him up. Just mention it off hand, in some unthreatening (to him) context. Don't offer to take him to the range unless he's very receptive, but do offer to let him see them. Then talk to someone else, do the same thing and also mention off-hand that you were talking about it with the first convert, and suggest that he was receptive. What you want to do is engineer a consensus in your favor. After that it should be a piece of cake.

Good luck!

Doctor Suarez
August 1, 2005, 01:12 PM
Here's a thought:

Instead of one-on-one coffee, how about two-on-one? I think, as is typical with parents, they'll be more receptive to anything so long as my wife is for it. If she's there to back me up, I think it would go a long, long way.

Mongo the Mutterer
August 1, 2005, 01:14 PM
It is clear you have to come out of the closet. Women hate lies and secrets more than anything. You probably will be in more trouble for keeping it secret rather than what you kept secret. Women are crazy that way...+1

When your love comes home, be at the kitchen table, dressed in BDUs, cleaning an AK with at least 10 30 rd banana clips stacked up....

"Honey, I never told you about my little hobby ..." :evil:

HankB
August 1, 2005, 01:27 PM
I'll repeat again keep your mouth shut until you're financially independent, but you wrote: Her father's father collected guns for years, and her maternal uncle just bought an AR-15. The problem is that those men are patriarchs who outrank them. We're (supposedly) suboordinate, and in that case her parents are EXTREMELY dictatorial.First off, as a married adult, living on your own, there's no reason for you to accept subordinate status; you're only subordinate if you accept being subordinate. The method for dealing with dictates of people with no real power over you is "nonviolent noncompliance." Just ignore what they say - you can always walk away - and do what you want. You don't have to rub their noses in it - just live your own life and if they're unhappy with your choices, well, that's their problem. It only becomes your problem if you let it.

Second, why don't you cultivate a relationship with the family "patriarchs?" Go shooting with them. Let it be known that you have . . . preferably at a family gathering where the patriarchs are present. Then the in-laws will be put in a position where in order to berate you, they have to criticize the patriarchs, too.

Augustwest
August 1, 2005, 01:34 PM
I really don't understand why you need to say anything. Your wife knows. It's no one else's business.

Zundfolge
August 1, 2005, 01:36 PM
Don't hide your guns, but don't go out of your way to tell them about them either.

If/when they find out you're a gun owner, then you get to act all nonplussed...acting as though its no stranger to own guns then it is to own a toaster oven.

If they over-react then they are the ones with a problem and you can calmly ask confront their irrational fears.


If you have to hide your gun ownership, or if you feel you have to "come clean" and "justify" it then in both cases you're reinforcing their attitude that there is something "wrong" with owning guns.

Dave Dembinski
August 1, 2005, 01:36 PM
I was very surprised, personally, when my mother found out I had guns and not only didn't flip out, but was alright with me buying my father a rifle for his birthday. She'd always seemed very anti- to me, but I think the fact that I haven't changed much nor have I gone on any shooting sprees since I started owning guns counts for a lot in her eyes.

Your relatives know you. They know you're not a psychopath. I'd second the advice already given to just deal with it if and when they find out, with your wife backing you up.

Kjervin
August 1, 2005, 01:41 PM
As far as getting him to put in the safe nook (or notch or whatever) just tell him that you are going to put in a safe. You don't have to tell him it's a gun safe. Tell him you want to have a fireproof (if it is going to be) safe for impotant documents and other valuables that you do not wish to go missing when you are not at home (or in case of natural emergency, fire, etc) which is essentially the truth. People who do not have guns can have safes too, you know.
Good Luck!
Kj

Zundfolge
August 1, 2005, 01:45 PM
My parents actually wouldn't be the hardest to crack. My wife's parents, however, are hopeless. And what's funny is that they have more gun ownership in their family. Her father's father collected guns for years, and her maternal uncle just bought an AR-15. The problem is that those men are patriarchs who outrank them. We're (supposedly) suboordinate, and in that case her parents are EXTREMELY dictatorial.
I didn't notice this originaly.

Hell, you need to go to the range with Grandpa and the Cool Uncle!

Get them on your side ... most likely the rest of the family will see your interest in guns as you "falling under Grandpa & Uncle's influence" :p

If nothing else you get a couple of shootin' buddies (and you can never have enough shootin' buddies...especialy family)

Plus if the rest of the family is anti you'll give these old shooters someone to leave their guns to (and I don't mean that as a goulish way to get free guns. One of the sadnesses suffered by older shooter's is that they know that if they leave their guns to their anti-gun heirs that they will just end up being turned in at a gun "buyback" or otherwise turned over to the police for disposal)

GunGoBoom
August 1, 2005, 02:25 PM
Option 3. But during inevitable fights, be as patient, logical, and calm as you possibly can. Be strong and firm; be a man, and stick to your story without waivering, but try like hell to remain calm and explanatory. EVENTUALLY they will come around, and if they don't, it would then be time to find a new mate, or start flyin solo. That family needs to learn that they're humans, not baboons, and when a woman decides to marry, she decides to commit to her HUSBAND instead of her family. Just one man's opinion.

scout26
August 1, 2005, 02:45 PM
Hell, you need to go to the range with Grandpa and the Cool Uncle!

Get them on your side ... most likely the rest of the family will see your interest in guns as you "falling under Grandpa & Uncle's influence"

If nothing else you get a couple of shootin' buddies (and you can never have enough shootin' buddies...especialy family)

+1

Heck, that's the "cool" part of the family anyway...

Marshall
August 1, 2005, 06:15 PM
However, weíre closing on a house in their neighborhood, and even though my wife and I are both doing well in our careers, we needed our parentsí help to get this place. (This is LA, after all.)

So now, with income and space, Iím going to start buying rifles, shotguns, second handguns, and itís going to suddenly get extremely hard to hide all this from prying eyes.

First of all, congrats on the house and your first gun!

Secondly, you mentioned needing your parents help to get the house. I'm not sure why you mentioned it other than possibly pointing out that they may have some sort of hold over you.

If it was a gift, then let it be a gift. If not, then I suggest paying them back before spending money all those rifles, shotguns and handguns you're planning on. ;)

308win
August 1, 2005, 06:35 PM
It seems to me that you are ceding leverage to your parents because they are helping you out. If your parents are in fact this controlling the fact that you are a closet gun owner is the least of your worries.

CTRL-ALT-DEL
August 1, 2005, 06:41 PM
What Pax said, live your own life. Unless these family members are paying your bills, it is none of their business what you do with YOUR money, YOUR life. Either they accept it, or not. But, Live your own Life.

MikeIsaj
August 1, 2005, 08:39 PM
Maybe I'm missing something here. I read the thread twice and I think you are making a mountain out of a mole hill.

First there is an issue here bigger than the guns. PAX said it, LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE! You are a grown man with a wife and I assume a family in the future. You need to loosen, not break the ties and assume your position as an adult in your extended family. Accept their help, we all have, but do not take any offer that is conditional. If they want to help, they will help. If they want to dictate your lifestyle, say no thank you and figure out another way to live your life.

Regarding the guns, don't make a big issue out of them. There is no reason for you to "come clean" with anyone. If in the normal course of things, someone becomes aware of your guns, how they react is their problem. They are entitled to their opinion, they are not entitled to shove it down your throat, or make demands that you change. If they are that offended, they have a decision to make. They can be civil and polite, or they can be ill-mannered, jerks.

Frankly I think you may be surprised at the reaction. Many anti's I've met are actually ignorant. We naturally fear what we don't understand and a little knowledge goes a long way.

athlon64
August 1, 2005, 08:58 PM
However, weíre closing on a house in their neighborhood, and even though my wife and I are both doing well in our careers, we needed our parentsí help to get this place. (This is LA, after all.)

If you're not locked in to the house deal, consider living away from relatives. Keeping relatives at a distance does wonders for immediate family relationships, especially considering the stuff you're raising as issues here. Some relatives think sharing common blood gives them special rights to affect your privacy and way of life and forget you're an independent adult with your own life to live.

Standing Wolf
August 1, 2005, 09:51 PM
Come clean and have a series of horrible fights with people I love who just donít understand.


There's nothing to "come clean" about. You have a constitutionally protected right to keep and bear arms. There's nothing shameful about exercising that or any of your other rights.

Never has been. Never will be.

Zundfolge
August 2, 2005, 12:26 AM
Doctor Suarez, I'm going to ask you a question that I don't expect you to answer in public ... and I don't mean this as some sort of assault on your manhood or your independence,

Didn't you recently post a thread asking about "Libertarian Cities"?

Did the in-laws learn you where considering moving to the US with your bride and taking their "baby" away for the People's Republic of ********** to that awful United States of America so they found a way to snare you and tie you down to the PRK by helping you pay for grossly overpriced property?

If thats the case then you really need to think long and hard about accepting this blackmail ... and maybe plan on putting your foot down (or just get used to the idea of being your in-laws' "bitch"*)


*apologies to Art's Grammaw



EDIT
Oops ... I withdraw the question, it wasn't Doctor Suarez, it was DocZinn who posted that thread (all you "doctors" look alike to me :neener: )

http://www.thehighroad.org/showthread.php?t=147373

Doctor Suarez
August 2, 2005, 12:48 AM
Sarright, Zundfolge. What's keeping me in Kali is my own career aspirations. I'm a writer, you see, and as of this week, an employed one!

Just so long as this state's red-county population keeps growing ahead of the tofu-brained city people, things might wind up being okay.

jnojr
August 2, 2005, 01:30 AM
I don't see any point in "sitting down with them". You aren't very likely to change their minds, but you could start a huge fight.

How about this... get something like an old musket for a wallhanger. If/when they notice it and say anything, give them the 30 second spiel on the era of history it's from. Later, add another, like maybe an M1 Garand to put up on the wall, too (and, of course, every now and then they should be brought down to be cleaned, fired, oiled, and put back!) Don't get drawn into any political arguments... if they go "Oh, Lord, how can you have that horrible schoolchild-killing Devilspawn device in your house?" just give them a look like they just grew a third eye, say "It's a piece of history" and move on to something else.

There's a chance they might ask honest questions and be receptive to one day going shooting with you. If not, the worst you'll have done is prepared them a little bit for the day they learn you possess "evil" guns.

ny32182
August 2, 2005, 02:35 AM
My mother is anti-gun (my dad doesn't care one way or the other, and has about 4 of his own). I love her to death. But she is 52 years old, grew up in Chicago, regrettably has been through some serious illness in her life, and her mind will not be changed about guns. Her thought processes (on everything; not just guns) are driven almost completely on emotion rather than logic. This is how it works.

-She knows I am a gun owner.
-She still helps me out financially with school/etc.
-The day that that financial aid comes with the condition that I sell my guns (or make any other serious lifestyle adjustment) is the day that I don't accept that financial aid.

Some things are more important to me than help with the bills. Gun ownership is one of them.

You just have to make up your mind about how much you are willing to let your parents or in-laws control your life. As a grown, married adult, and certainly with a steady income (not a student) that choice is entirely yours.

Now personally... I would just buy what I wanted. I wouldn't bring it up, but I wouldn't try to hide it either. As others have stated, you have nothing to "come clean" about. What you are doing is not wrong. It is a personal decision, and if your in-laws find out about it through the normal course of events, they can either live with a decision that you made about your life that doesn't affect them in the least.... or they can't. At that point its up to them about how they are going to feel about it, but your hands are washed.

Echo Tango
August 2, 2005, 04:05 AM
This is going to sound rather trite, but I just gotta say this.....What you choose to do, be have etc etc isnt your parents/in laws business. Now i understand there are mitigating circumstances however....your prison is completely of your own making and completely within your power to disregard. If you allow them to lord their " senior" status over you then you are allowing yourself to be subjugated to them. Your a adult, they are adults, its time you pointed this out to them. Explain that you value their advice but you dont base your life on their whims.

only1asterisk
August 2, 2005, 04:58 AM
Hell, you need to go to the range with Grandpa and the Cool Uncle!

This is exactly what you need.

Don't let it be a secret, it isn't anything to be ashamed of. If someone should happen to blow a fuse, don't worry, it sounds like a you have a solid family.

Don't be covert, make converts!

David

Mixlesplick
August 2, 2005, 06:08 AM
I agree with what most people are writing. There is no need to share this with the rest of your family. Do you share every aspect of your life with your family? This is just one part that they don't need to know about unless it comes up naturally.

You could keep your firearms and supplies in a locked "storage room" that no one needs to rummage through while they are visiting. Just be prepared if they do find out so you can answer their questions reasonably. Also, if they are rabidly anti-gun you should be a little concerned about who they might complain to that their son or son-in-law has guns and they are worried about you. Just don't let them dictate what you can and can't do in this or any aspect of your life.

My dad is a hunter so he has owned rifles and shotguns. He is against handguns because he thinks they are more oriented towards killing people. I tried to share my enthusiasm for shooting handguns but he didn't enjoy it. I told him I got my ccw and he doesn't want me to carry at his house. Now I mostly meet him for lunch or someplace neutral or just lock the gun in my truck in case for family gatherings. I don't know if he assumes I am not carrying because I am with him or not. I just leave that subject alone and so does he.

I found an easy medium with my parents but if it would have caused serious problems I would never have told them about my guns. :)

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