police response in VA


August 25, 2005, 05:04 AM
sorry if you've all heard this and maybe this isn't the best place for an e-mail joke but i got a chuckle out of it and it is a gun joke.

How to call the police in West Virginia

George Phillips of Elkins, West Virginia was going up to bed when his wife
told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see
from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the
light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked "Are any of those people in your house?" and
he said no.

Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply stay in
his house, lock his doors and an officer would be along when available.

George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

"Hello I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my
shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've just shot
them all". Then he hung up.

Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an
ambulance showed up at the Phillips residence. Of course, the police caught
the burglars red-handed.

One of the Policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

i dunno, maybe it really belongs in strategies and tactics. :evil:

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August 25, 2005, 08:28 AM
I am sure that this violates some law, but I still like it! :D

August 25, 2005, 08:43 AM
It's probably covered by the prohibition against filing a false police report. I'd argue that was excused by the doctrine of competing harms.

Besides, you want to be the DA to take this one to trial?

The better answer is to say "that's okay, I just think I'll go outside and kill the punks. Have the coroner show up by tomorrow morning or else they'll start stinking up the place." Then hang up. No false police report filed, and you'll get the same response.

Even better. If you hear noises and see people around, I believe you could reasonably anticipate someone is in the house. ;)

August 25, 2005, 09:58 AM
In 1976 I was working as a bouncer in a seedy bar. One night a crowd of bikers came in and raised Hell. These were hard-core bikers, with club jackets and the whole bit. Anyway, at closing time they didn't want to leave so the bartender called the cops was told it would be an hour before they could get there. I took the phone from him when he relayed this to me and told the dispatcher we didn't have an hour as they were turning increasingly violent. I told her both the bartender and I were packing 1911s and there was a short 12 gauge pump behind the bar and in about 10 minutes we would start stacking bodies. I think I was fairly serious. I think we were on the verge of needing to defend ourself as these guys were getting very rowdy.

Six cops got there with three minutes and stood by as the bikers departed.

The next time they showed up I met them at the door and told them to go elsewhere. Thought for sure I'd have a fight on my hands but I guess they weren't so brave while sober. They left.

I think the man who called the cops in the original post may have been charged with false reporting. You have to be careful about that.

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