[silverbird]

Hello everyone,

I'm new to the board here (and to firearms in general). Been lurking for a few weeks now, and I must say, this is one of the most impressive forums I have ever seen.

I'm wondering if anyone has any good advice on what to tell my GF to convince her that guns aren't just for cops and robbers. She gets in a heated rage whenever I bring up the subject, and will not budge on the issue. She has never had a bad experience with them, and has really never had ANY experience with them at all. She's just anti-gun. Part of the problem is that her sister is a cop, as was her father many years ago. She hears the stories her sister tells her, and she's decided that the only people that should own a gun are LEO's. She also is hearing from her friends that she cannot cave on this issue, because she needs to exert her right to make decisions and stick by them or some crap :rolleyes: . She puts a lot of value in the opinions of others (except me).

I got my handgun kindof under the radar....when I told her about it I already had it, and basically said there was no way I was returning it (had always wanted a gun, but never got off my azz to do it....just had a recent "kick in the pants" though). Now I'm wanting a 2nd, 3rd, and 4th gun, but she's not budging. Not even through inheritance, where I stand to inherit a ~WWI 1911 ca1918, and my grandfathers rifle ca mid-1800's.

I fancy myself as a decent "case presenter" (read: arguer). I've presented the self-defense side, all of the "what-if's" that I know of, including hiking with bears, intruders, riots, New orleans-type scenerios, and Armageddon.

Any suggestions?

[Delmar]

Forget the self defense issues with her right now, and concentrate on the recreational issues. Make it look like throwing darts or something and get her to come with you. Take your time with her if she is worth keeping around. Otherwise, find you a good country girl and dump this simpering fool!

[scout26]

She either converts or becomes ex-GF.

It's a control issue.

Take her to the range and let her have fun.

[JohnKSa]

If you're not willing to cave, you'd better leave.

Coworker married a mild anti. She let him keep the guns he already had until she got pregnant. At that point she put her foot down and his guns went.

You're starting out with a rabid anti. It won't go better for you than it did for him.

[Zundfolge]

ha ha ha ... another man who thinks he can argue with a woman and win.


It ain't gonna happen ... I don't care what the subject. Modern women have been so inculcated in gender feminist dogma that changing her mind to what a man says is akin to allowing yourself to be sold into sexual slavery.

ut she's not budging. Not even through inheritance, where I stand to inherit a ~WWI 1911 ca1918, and my grandfathers rifle ca mid-1800's.
If you're serious about this girl, at some point you WILL have to choose between her and your interest in firearms.

If you're not that serious about her then say goodbye and find another ... they out number us so you will be able to find another one that's better.


Now I sit and wait for the posts by those who didn't heed this warning and eventually ended up in divorce court over this kind of thing ... much poorer and without Grandpa's fine collectibles :(

[grampster]

I agree on using the sporting aspect. Non blood sports, like skeet, trap, blasting targets, tin cans, olympic sports (both winter and summer games) etc. Once she becomes familiar with the fun and skill of shooting as well as the social aspects, she'll start thinking about the other aspects of firearms.

Go join a gun club.

[Alex45ACP]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v646/6655321/phantomeject.jpg

And if you're thinking about marrying her, peruse this site first: www.NoMarriage.com

[grimjaw]

Does she have a problem with you dating other people, b/c that's what I'd be considering at this point.

jmm

[Jake]

Step 1- Turn on TV.

Step 2 - Pick news broadcast of choice.

Step 3 - Watch reports of murder, rape, looting and other general unplesantness in NO.

Step 4 - Explain theory of self-reliance.




May or may not work but is a heck of a lesson in reality.

[Delmar]

My wife, God rest her soul, was an anti big time until I got her to think about the recreation part of it. I got her to come to the range with me, and once she fired my Government model, it was maybe 3 days before she went and purchased her own.

The biggest mistake for most men is stressing the self defense aspect of it. THAT is what most anti's are afraid of in the first place!

Once they have warmed up to the bullseye part of shooting-no sillouettes at the first couple of outings, as its another reminder of the feared death and destruction part of their fobia.

[Chawbaccer]

I bet she ain't the only girl in Maryland is she?

[cowboy77845]

If you want to keep/have your guns , you best find another girl. Now its guns, whats next. It is a control issue as said previously. This is a no win situation for you. Chances are she will not convert and you will get "If you really cared for me, you would give them up". If you give them up, it will be like eating an armadillo. The bite will get bigger and bigger and you will not be able to swallow. You will be unhappy for the rest of your life. And that will make you sick. All this is dependent on how much you like firearms. Seems like the New Orleans situation may reinforce the need for them and her attitude is irrational. Your choice, your life. But this is a prescription for being miserable.

[Line Rider]

If she is anti-gun I would think long and hard about continuing with the relationship. This will be a sore point with her from now on.

[joab]

Normally I say don't discuss it with her anymore than you would discuss which type of underwear you are allowed to wear,but.

If she is that anti and you are planning on spending a substantial amount of time under her control you should review exactly how strong an issue this is for you.

If you're not gonna cave, and you shouldn't
And she's not gonna cave, and she won't
Then you need to evaluate whether this is something you are willing to fight over, until you do cave.
Which you will..

[asteffes]

This is a topic that you cannot argue with any hope of changing someone's mind. You will never change her mind through debate and "discussion" if she doesn't want to listen and consider what you have to say.
-Adam

[MDHunter]

Dude,

Stick to your guns (pardon the pun), and toss her back in the pond if she doesn't like it. If you start giving in NOW, when she's just a girlfriend, by the time you're married you'll be a whimpering, sniveling shell of your current self!

I was married at 25 (wife was 21), divorced at 29 - lucky for both of us, we realized we got married too early and agreed to part ways without inflicting long-term pain and suffering on each other.

Since then, I've been in four fairly serious relationships (I'm 44 now), and EACH TIME, when the woman wanted to take things to the next level, I chose not to.....it just didn't feel right to me. The women have gone on to other relationships that are now serious......and all of them aren't particularly happy at this point. You know what that told me? That I wouldn't have been able to make them happy, either. I'm DAMN glad I didnt jumo in too soon a SECOND time!

If what you're doing as a boyfriend is already giving this woman cause for concern, how in the world will you be able to keep her happy over a 30-40 year period? Save yourself time, grief, and worry and wait for a woman who either shares this interest with you, or is happy to let you enjoy the hobby, even if she doesn't partake.

Good luck,

Michael

[swampsniper]

Unless she is the best looking, best cooking, sexiest woman in the world, and you are willing to get whipped for her. Take it from an old grampa, move on! :D You don't want this one raising your sons.

[Colt46]

If you can't change her mind then you've got a decision to make.
My best friend has just lost control over his marriage. His wife has him in rehab(booze) and threatens him with leaving with the three kids if he doesn't complete the program and never touch another drop again. This is the same woman that walked out on marriage counseling because she thought the therapist was taking my buddy's side. It's her way or the highway and he's fallen for it. I can't help but think there will be a breaking point.

[1911user]

She puts a lot of value in the opinions of others (except me).

That says it all. Find someone else who does value your opinion.

[TonkinTwentyMil]

... Drop her like a hot potato, and I mean Right Now.

You might also use the "search" function here to dig up some old (fairly recent) threads on the subject of women/wives/girlfriends and guns. Accordingly, there's no reason to re-invent the wheel right now.

I mean no disrespect to the numerous fine/enlightened pro-2-A ladies who are THR contributors. However, they are rare birds in today's politically-correct, gun-owner-demonizing society.

So, I say to you in deep sincerity grounded in decades of experience:

Don't wast your time, emotional capital -- and post-divorce assets -- with any babe with this attitude. You'll be doing her (and you) a huge favor if you simply drop-kick her Million Mommy butt downfield to some sniveling Michael Moore handwringing pacifist libsnot for her next Save The World By Changing Her Man "project."

To paraphrase the immortal Dirty Harry: "Do you feel lucky, dude?"

And, do you really wanta become her tamed-and-domesticated political project on a cute little pink leash?

[Greg L]

She also is hearing from her friends that she cannot cave on this issue, because she needs to exert her right to make decisions and stick by them or some crap . She puts a lot of value in the opinions of others (except me).

All of the above & this one: What if one of her anti friends tells her that if she says to the police that you threatened her (some months down the line if you decide to break up with her after confronting her on this issue) & gets a restraining order against you that you can lose your guns for good. Given that you are in MD it isn't hard to believe that she couldn't find a sympathetic ear if she really wanted to.

Unless there are a LOT of other things that you have in common you should seriously rethink this one. As has been mentioned it is a control issue (& one that she sounds like she won't change her mind on). If you cave here, you will not only lose incredible family heirlooms in the future, but you will be expected to cave in on everything else that she wants. Granted, the responses that you get here will be biased towards the progun side, but there are other issues involved beyond that. Think carefully about what you are getting into.

[antsi]

-----quote----------
You don't want this one raising your sons.
--------------------

+1,000,000

One of the guys I used to work with was married to a woman like this. She was a former public school teacher, and still teaches the "hands are not for hitting" class. Poor guy likes to shoot skeet, but his wife makes him leave his gun at the skeet club.

Between the two of them, they are raising the most unspeakable twinkie of a son you can possibly imagine.

[Byron Quick]

I think you need a new girlfriend.

[Technosavant]

A few others have mentioned this, but I'll take another whack.

It isn't about guns at all. Put that issue out of your mind.

It is about control.

She refuses to even discuss an issue on which you differ from her. This does not bode well for ANY future disagreements. You describe her reaction as "a heated rage," which may be an exaggeration, but that still points to control issues complicated by anger management issues.

She values every other opinion above your own. Granted, you ain't married yet, but if you think that will change, you are smoking crack. You will never once be granted any leeway if her friends or family differ from you.

Dude, this sounds like a heavily dysfunctional relationship. I am sure she has her good points, or you wouldn't be with her (or would you?). BUT, if you stay with her, you are setting yourself up for a life of misery. Guns are a symptom. Her insistence on absolute control and no discussion, complete with a total lack of concern for your views, are the disease.

Pick any reason you want- they all come out the same way. I can't figure out one single scenario where staying with her is better than striking out on your own.

[Standing Wolf]

I don't waste time on anti-Second Amendment bigots, nor do I expend effort trying to teach my kitty how to whistle, wash dishes, or clean firearms.

[Mnemesyne]

I hate to say this, but even as a woman I agree with the rest of the posts...If she's anti gun now, that most likely won't change but would get worse as your relationship progresses....Find someone who enjoys your hobby/interest and won't endanger your abilities to own or enjoy your guns ;)

[Ben Shepherd]

Ditto, technosavant!! It isn't fun but I've done it before.

You need to look at the BIG picture, the LONG TERM aspects.

It doesn't sound good from what you said.

[bearmgc]

Geez man, there's been so many past threads on this very subject. Think about it. Its about values. She's hyper-anti. How much time do you want to spend on this gal and why. And the past reply about with any heated argument comes the potential , on her word, that you could lose your carry rights FOREVER. Talk about control issues you don't need.

[Mauserguy]

"She puts a lot of value in the opinions of others (except me)."
This sounds like trouble- Dump her!
Mauserguy

[Taurus 66]

She's just anti-gun. Part of the problem is that her sister is a cop, as was her father many years ago. She hears the stories her sister tells her, and she's decided that the only people that should own a gun are LEO's. She also is hearing from her friends that she cannot cave on this issue, because she needs to exert her right to make decisions and stick by them or some crap . She puts a lot of value in the opinions of others (except me).

Just tell her flat out she needs to stop with her left wing garbage or you're through with her. Give her your ultimatum! Grow a pair and stand up for yourself!! You also stated she gets in a heated rage when you talk on the subject. Sounds like she has temper tantrum issues that she never outgrew.
Nobody has to shout at others to get their point across. From what you've told us, she's not worth a horses ass (IMO), and you're just wasting your time.

[Strings]

hmmm... "heated rage", huh?

Not only will I agree with the "run fast" crowd, but I'll add a point: you MIGHT want to see about an RO against HER. Not to be vindictive, but she COULD (when you tell her "buh-bye!") file against you ("he hit me" can be more than enough). Go pre-emptive, and find one in your own species...

[Zundfolge]

Oh and while we're all telling you how to live your life here :neener: GET THE H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS OUT OF MARYLAND.

'Cause right now you're beggin' for the girlfriend's permission to own guns ... once you get past her you still have to beg the state for permission as well.


Move to America.

[Jeeper]

Her attitude to logical arguments is what you should really be concerned with. If she cant respond to logic then how can you ever relate to her anyway. What would the future of your relationship be like?

[odysseus]

One of the guys I used to work with was married to a woman like this. She was a former public school teacher, and still teaches the "hands are not for hitting" class. Poor guy likes to shoot skeet, but his wife makes him leave his gun at the skeet club.

Between the two of them, they are raising the most unspeakable twinkie of a son you can possibly imagine.

Man, that's quite a fear I would have. Damn! I tell you, those former public school teachers are a crazy, crazy bunch.

This is a though subject, because I am sure you have a lot of feelings for her, and it's not for anyone to really be able to tell you - but you asked.

You need to have a heart to heart. Maybe see if you can get her to see your point of view and go shooting with you. However from what you are saying her family and friends are saying, it looks bad. Also, this is only one particular issue. How are you two on politics? Different? Well then have your fun, but don't expect anything relationship wise to be nothing but a lot of angry work or pray for a miracle.

Let me tell you, I have dated all spectrums. I am also getting married soon now. She's a wonderful woman. We believe in much the same things. Our values are very similar. At first she was wary of the strength I preach on 2nd Amendment issues and my collection. However she was not unfamiliar with them. I have taken her shooting, and she is now very comfortable with this.

I tell you. That's a wonderful thing. I couldn't imagine sharing a house with someone who wasn't.

[buzzcut]

< Ejector seat test photo >

ROTFLMAO Hahahahaha! Thanks, that is THE most hilarious reply in a forum I have ever seen. The Fiance was LOL also.

.

[M-Rex]

Quote:
She puts a lot of value in the opinions of others (except me).


That says it all. Find someone else who does value your opinion.

Not to put to fine a point on it, but dump her. Now. As soon as you get off this forum, go to the telephone and tell her you never want to be around her again.

This girl has no respect for you as a person or as a man.

Do it.

Now.

[M-Rex]

I got my handgun kindof under the radar....when I told her about it I already had it, and basically said there was no way I was returning it (had always wanted a gun, but never got off my azz to do it....just had a recent "kick in the pants" though). Now I'm wanting a 2nd, 3rd, and 4th gun, but she's not budging. Not even through inheritance, where I stand to inherit a ~WWI 1911 ca1918, and my grandfathers rifle ca mid-1800's.

As a reminder...

...She has no power. She has no input on YOUR decision. She doesn't even get a vote. She is welcome to not budge all she wants, but her freedom ends right about the place where yours begins. She has absolutely ZERO power to say anything about your decision, or influence you in regards to purchasing, or inheriting, a firearm. She is not family. She is not a wife. She is nothing more than a walking space filler.

If you have any respect for yourself at all, DUMP HER NOW.

[orionengnr]

<search>

[pax]

<-- female, married 18 years.

She also is hearing from her friends that she cannot cave on this issue, because she needs to exert her right to make decisions and stick by them or some crap .
Your girlfriend and her friends are not too far from the truth about that much, anyway.

Relationship 101, aka "setting personal boundaries" :

She cannot tell you what to do with your life or your time or your money. Your life is your territory.

You cannot tell her what to do with her life, her time, her money. Her life is her territory.

The problem seems to be that both of you do not have any idea where your own personal boundaries lie, and are trying to draw your personal boundaries solidly within the other person's territory. That is a recipe for a relational train wreck.

If she doesn't want to buy, shoot, or carry guns, that falls solidly into her territory. You don't have any authority over that and you're a fool if you think you do.

If you want to buy, shoot, or carry a gun, that falls solidly into your territory. She doesn't have any authority over that and you're a fool if you let her take it.

As someone else said, it's not about guns. What is going on here is a basic control issue. Does she have the right, power, authority to dictate what items you may purchase with your money that you have earned? Nope. You do not need her permission to spend your money in any way you see fit.

I see no future in your relationship with her until you sort this very basic issue out in a way that both of you can live with. If you cannot do that, then you really are better off without her -- certainly, you're better off if you can avoid entangling your lives any further until you get some boundary lines drawn.

The ones you've got so far are drawn too far into each other's territory, and that's why she "rages" when the topic comes up.

pax

The first time you buy a house you see how pretty the paint is and buy it. The second time you look to see if the basement has termites. It's the same with men. -- Lupe Velez

[crewsr]

its totally a control issue for her. You better grow a sack and STICK TO YOUR GUNS. IF SHE REALLY LOVES YOU SHE WILL ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOU SIMPLY ENJOY THIS SPORT/PASSION. But YOU have to tell her the truth of what you are thinking. That you believe in the 2 Amendment and that you want more guns.

BUT YOU HAVE TO TELL HER THE TRUTH NOW......SOON........DON'T WASTE EACH OTHERS TIME BY LYING AND DELAYING WHO YOU ARE. If she puts this subject between you two then its her problem, her choice. And let her know that.

Sure go ahead and explain the reasons why you want them (2ndA Rights, Hunting, Honey I took a long look at world history and what Govts and criminals do to the Unarmed,....to this fits with individual Liberty big time.) but in the end.....if she loves you then she will accept your dreams and yes your phases!!! (I'm married ......have lots of phases....some cost more than others but she shakes her head and loves me anyway.) Took me time to find her BUT I DID. She knows there are some things I will NEVER compromise on. Guns are one of them. ( but she does understand why I'm so strong on this issue) But there are things she feels equally strong on as well and I respect that.....its what makes her character. Shes a REDHEAD!! :cool:

Be honest, dont delay, shoot often

[shooterIII]

When I was dating my wife I stood her up to go duck hunting with a buddy (who also was the best man at my wedding). She was upset but lived with it (I did call and cancel the date). Before we got married I told the that getting married did not mean I was going to quit hunting and shooting. When we got married she had one week of vacition and I had two, so I took a week to hunt.
She didn't like it but accepted it. She did do some trap shooting and really enjoyed it, but she had so manny things going that after a couple of years she quit. We have been married 40+ years when I come home from shooting or hunting she is interested if I had a good time. The key is make sure that they undersand that getting married doesn't mean you change things that you love to do.

[JohnKSa]

It doesn't get better than it is now...

Going into a marriage with a disagreement like you have and thinking that it's going to work out is purely wishful thinking.

This kind of attempt to exert control this early in a relationship is a very, VERY bad symptom.

It's only going to get worse.

One more thing. She doesn't have to convince you to get rid of the guns. If all else fails, she only has to tell the police you hit her and you not only lose ALL your guns, you can NEVER buy any more.

[pete f]

A bandwagon is moving and i feel the need to jump on.

Have a face to face with her. tell her point blank (if you do) that you love her, and that having conflicting ideas with her does not mean that you do not love her. Then tell her that certain ideas are very important to you and that this is one of them, and if she can not get around that idea, then she does not love you enough to accept you. And in that case you feel the need to stop wasting both of your time. Tell her that her freinds are wrong. it is not a control issue, it is a love issue, either she loves you enough to trust and accept you for what you are, or she does not and it is time to start seeing other people. Create the environment of you as the dedicated loving man and her as a the shallow uncommited one. she will cave fast. if not she does not love you enough to worry about.

[Justin]

I suppose it depends on how important firearms are to you.

For me, they are a symbolic extension of certain deeply held philosophical beliefs.

I would no more date a girl who was anti gun than I would date a girl who wanted me to become a Scientologist.

[MICHAEL T]

I would simply tell her GOOD BY! end of subject.

[fulloflead]

Don't talk about guns.

Talk about your relationship.

The gun issue will work itself out when you've worked out your relationship problems one way or the other.

For the record, my girlfriend hates guns too, but she loves, trusts and respects me as I do her. I have an area of the house where I can play with my toys and she doesn't have the see them. She got the big bathroom all to herself. :D

.

[ruger270man]

im lazy, id probably just dump her..

good luck either way

[steveracer]

I just stopped telling her about gun stuff all together. When we're out of the house and she feels that I have on a gun, she just moves her hand, and that's that. What could she do, really? Take it away? Come on, seriously, guys, she might be a pain in the ass anti, but that could be the only issue that's really a problem for him. My wife is an irrational psycho about guns. Whatever. I have guns, I shoot guns, I buy guns, I carry guns, that's that. She has exactly NO say in this matter. I have everything locked in a safe that only I have the combo to. She doesn't know how many guns I have, how many rounds I have, holsters, magazines, etc. I get out what I want to carry, I put it on, and I go about my day. Really, if there was some actual concern here, it's lost on me.

[mnrivrat]

Ask a question and you'll get some answers won't you ?

Maybe a lot of this is not what you wanted to hear , but there is a lot of good advise here. I tend to agree with Pax's approach and line of thought.

Defining boundries of a relationship means each giving the other personal freedom of choice within good common sense concepts. Even when you disagree , you should be able to live with that, and accept that each has their rights, wants, and needs. (agree to disagree so to speak)

If that can't happen , then your relationship is in trouble.

It is a subject that requires an understanding and needs to be addressed like two adults. You can control yourself, you don't have the means or the right to control others. That goes for both members of a relationship.

[joab]

When I was dating my wife I stood her up to go duck hunting with a buddy (who also was the best man at my wedding). She was upset but lived with itI went on an overnight hunting trip on Dec 23rd. The trip went a little long and I came home the morning Dec 26th.
My wife was upset, but divorce me by June and got over it

[Willyboi]

Hay man,

Everybody thinks they know everything and you know nothing. They are the masters and you are the slave! It life.. Thats why smart people ask questions.

This is how I got my wife (then girlfriend) and my best friends wife to enjoy the world of shooting. Ok I bent alittle. I submitted to her first demand! Made her think I was giving in on the subject. I bought a safe, 100 dollar K-mart brand one!... So now the guns are safe from all (hahahaha).. Now it was my turn!!... Next I gave her a hard time. "I'm going shooting"... She would get pissy. Then I'd ask her to come with me.. For 2 weekends she wouldn't do it. Ok... So this might not be the one. Fine... Maybe she'll get the clue. Then the third weekend came and I was going to be gone for a while.. because I bought 3 cases of clay pigeons and a case of bird shot. Told her I was going again but this time alittle further away. She didnt want me to go again!.. So I asked her again! "Do You Want To Come?" This time she said "Fine.. I'll go you, but know how I feel about this!!!" I said "Yep"..

So we got there and it was a pretty quiet ride... Got it all set up and went to town!.. Well a box of clays later she was out of the jeep!.. "Ok I might have been a little wrong" came out of her mouth!!!! I was shocked... Next thing you know shes holding the gun after 10 minutes of instruction and hands on (non-fire) training shes taking shots at some clays... Well she hit one and that was it. Took her out to dinner.. Made a day of it (kind of like shopping hahahaha). She was going to be on are side. I was determined now ...

Couple of times at the indoor range for some pistol time. You know the temperature controlled ones, that gets them all happy because they arent freezing or boiling. Try to keep them from other girls for the first couple of times though.. because when they see each other they get feminine (I know I didnt spell that right) as hell.. quotes like these pop up "O Its too loud!" , "I dont think I could do this!", and "Is this going to hurt"... Trust me I got those just 7 days after shooting a shotgun! Put her on the 9mm... Leave the 45's home... So keep it cool! No magnum cal's the lower the better for the beginning. Its just like training kids! Plus you want to shoot the same gun. If they see you trying to show off its done!... Stick a fork in it!! They want you to be equal.. So play the mind game!

Expand from there as you see progression. Mine got her girlfriend involved and it be came a weekly thing!... Shooting and Dinner! My weekends have been great ever since.

After 2 years of that all that she goes with me on all my little adventures!... I even have her shooting magnum cal's... she loves my Model 65. I hate it, but she loves it... Go figure!


Give it ago... If that doesnt work... Yahoo Personal's!!!

Willyboi
Better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6

[c_yeager]

You could cook up some nice long scheme to try and maybe convince her to change her mind, you run the risk of making the both of you miserable. Or you could resign to the fact that you two dont have all that much in common and resolve to go your own seperate ways.

You could also just "not talk about it" and have an ever-present source of tension playing into your relationship.

Alternately you could simply knuckle under, sell your guns and any other neat toys you may have (motorcycle, ATV, boat, monster truck, muscle car etc) and resign that you will never again do anything fun.

There is simply no sure-fire means of "changing" a person. You pick a person based on who they are. If who they are doesnt work with who you are, then you need to find someone else.

[Stinkyshoe]

Convert her or dump her....

[chopinbloc]

my suspicion is that she is unworthy of your affections. she shows no care or respect for your views. however, if you insist on winning her over you need to undestand that to win an argument with a woman you have to fight dirty - just like they do. so if she lives with you, this is what you do:
ask a VERY good friend to kick in your door at night and steal your television. when the door is kicked in she'll tell you to USE that gun of yours at which point you point out that you sold it because she didn't like it or that it isn't loaded and the ammunition is on the far side of the house or whatever. a couple weeks later you pick up your tv from your friends house and tell her you found it at a pawn shop. :evil:
if this doesn't work, she's not only a control freak, she's a stupid control freak.

still think you should pop smoke.

[Sindawe]

My best advice, don't bend. Me thinks that lass is not worth the hassle. Be firm, the guns stay. If she threatens to leave, remember this phrase...There be yonder door, have a care that it does not smite on the posterior. The cautions to obtain an RO FIRST strikes as wise counsel.

[Glocker]

are you the man of the house or is she???? :evil:

[Johnny_Yuma]

comments. No one should be reduced to buying vital self-defense equipment "under the radar." If you want to push the issue. Go buy one of the other firearms you want and have it sitting out on the table when she comes over and tell her you want to buy even more. Do not try to persuade her you are correct. Do not argue. Just do it. She will either 1)cave in, 2)stick around and either complain openly or sabotage your relationship in subtle ways, or 3) split. Options 1 or 3 are acceptable. The problem with option 1 is that it may really be option 2 but you won't know it until it's too late.

[TonkinTwentyMil]

There's a big war going on out there. It's called The Culture War.

And you are in opposing armies.

And, frankly, these two armies may never get along very well. No, we can't just play nice-nice. Whenever we've tried that, the strain eventually crumbled the foundations.

Guns, 2A issues, and individual liberty are at the heart of this war. And, it ain't gonna be settled tomorrow over brie-and-chardonnay with "Kumbaya" playing softly in the background while she displays you like a stuffed trophy for her admiring friends.

Guns are a litmus test. A test of cultural, political, and moral values and a whole bunch of other stuff.

The "other side" plays dirty, tries desperately -- mostly via sneaky games and snarky political maneuvering -- to demonize, marginalize, feminize, and homogenize us. They have their very own Entertainment Wing (Hollywood), Indoctrination Wing (schools/universities), and Communication Wing (the MainStreamMedia) as tactical weapons of attack.

We have Knowledge. Real World Experience. And Resolve.

By capitulating to such a woman, you are ignoring the Culture War -- while giving Aid And Comfort to the enemy.

Strengthen your Resolve.

Strategic Recommendation: Shun women like this. Make them pair-up with weak-knee'd-metrosexual-pacifist-wimpsnot males who lack the testicular fortitude to repell the criminal dirtbirgs who will eventually visit them some dark night.

They'll get what they deserve: a coroner to take photos of their corpses... and a cop to write up a report.

Let THEM re-populate the land with hyper-delicate offspring ("street-food") who will get eaten by the predators. This natural selection mechanism will work to the benefit of the Strong. That's a Good Thing.

Ignore this obvious political incompatibility at your own peril, my friend.

[Jim March]

Date Your Own Species.

[Strings]

uh... Jim? Got that already... ;)

[bg]

You can try this. Take her to one of the Cowboy Shooting Events
where men AND women do trick shooting, riding rodeo, etc. You
might stand a chance if she were to talk to other women besides
her sister, who join in on the cowboy action events.

All else fails here's a lil test for her. Tell her if she won't allow you any
more firearms, you won't stand for her getting new shoes.
Bet that'll go over well. Be interesting to see her reaction..Good luck.

[silverbird]

WOW....thanks for all the replies :D

she might be a pain in the ass anti, but that could be the only issue that's really a problem for him.
That statement about sums it up....this is really the ONLY issue we REALLY disagree on.....everything else, politics, religion, paint colors,furniture; we see eye-to-eye on. Maybe should have mentioned this in the 1st post, but we bought a house together last year, so I don't think she's just another passing GF. I'd hate to end this over guns, but I'm hooked, and there's no turning back. Like having sex :D .

The thing is, is that I feel like there's an angle that I could take to help convince her that me having guns is a GOOD THING. I just can't figure out what that angle is. I plan to take her to the range, but there aren't many in MD that I can go to (like, none that would be a good 1st experience for her). I've only got one shot at the 1st impression with the Ruger, so I don't want to blow it.

I guess I will just have to find a place to shoot, and pressure her to come out with me. Hopefully she'll take to it like some of the other significant others in this thread.

Thanks for the replies everyone....I appreciate the help, and comedic relief :cool:

[farscott]

My perspective is a bit different. My sister and I were raised around firearms, and I started shooting at age six. My sister, who is four years younger than I, has had an irrational fear of firearms for as long as I can remember.

When my sister was dating the man who is now her husband, my father and I took him shooting with us. He liked it then and does now, but my sister will not allow guns in her home. There is no debate about this (see the "irrational" statement above), and I have long since stopped arguing with her. Suffice it to say that when my family visits her family, she fumes because we (my wife and I) arrive well armed.

Due to medical issues, my father moved into my sister's home last year. I asked for him to come live with my family, but his comfort level was higher with the area in which he had spent thirty years versus my area of the country. At the time of the move, he gave me some of his firearms and he kept the rest (mostly .22's but also his Glock 36 CCW). My sister just about flipped her lid when she realized my father was storing guns (each was securely locked and ammo was stored in a different locked container) in her home. When he passed last month, the first thing she told me was, "Get those guns out of my house". I cheerfully complied since I value the guns that my father owned and used as both great tools and mementos of our shared past.

There is no rhyme or reason to my sister's views on guns. We have agreed to disagree. I cannot understand how my brother-in-law deals with her, but he seems to be happy. It would not work for me, but it works for him. In the end, that is what is important.

The reason for the above tale is simple: Do not try to change someone because it will not happen. My sister and I, raised in the same home, have vastly different views and those views will never be reconciled. If your GF is as adamant as my sister, either she will go ... or your guns will.

[ezypikns]

but get yourself a new girlfriend. I'm a little older, and maybe a little wiser. I'm constantly seeing young men and young women getting into relationships with a partner who is a little unreasonable, and maybe just a little mean. Believe me, if you begin a life with this young woman, you might as well give up guns. Your life will be a constant battle. One of you will win, and neither of you will be truly happy. Find a sweet, reasonable girl.
I know this is a little simplistic, but I think it's valid.

[HankB]

She puts a lot of value in the opinions of others (except me). DANGER WILL ROBINSON! DANGER!

Seriously, this one sentence ought to be a warning sign - heck, it should be a red flag, siren, and flashing red strobe - that this girl is bad news.

Read your own statement - by your own words, you must recognize on some level that she clearly places NO value on YOU at all - you're simply a thing, a meal ticket, someone to serve Her High and Mightyness.

Are you so desparate that you can't stand the thought of breaking up, that you'll do anything to please her, like some sort of lonely puppy?

[Rich K]

I would say dump her.I was married to a woman who didn't like guns,and actually told me once that "either the guns go,or I go."Well,she is gone my gun collection is much larger,and my new girlfriend is a nursewho,on our first date,asked if we could go to the range.Life is much happier now.And the fact that she values everyone's opinion but yours should set off the alarms big time.Save yourself the headache and find a gal who likes the smell of gunsmoke and Hoppe's 9.You will be much happier,and your sons will grow up to be men,instead of Democrats.

[benEzra]

She also is hearing from her friends that she cannot cave on this issue, because she needs to exert her right to make decisions and stick by them or some crap.
She has the right to make decisions for HER. You have the right to make decisions for YOU.

She may not realize what she's doing, but she is violating your personhood. She wants to make YOUR decisions for you. If she doesn't want to own a gun, fine, but she has no right to make that decision for YOU.

If the roles were reversed--i.e., if she wanted to own something for herself, something she valued very deeply, and YOU wouldn't let her because YOU didn't like the item in question, your attitude would be rightly considered misogynist, controlling, and wrong. She's doing the same thing, she just doesn't see it.

[CW-op]

Run, Don't Walk To The Nearest Exit!!!

[atomchaser]

You have bigger issues with her than guns. As others have said it all about control and authority. It's only going to get worse if she gets a ring on her finger.

If you really like her, confront her about your concerns and suggest couples counseling to get all of the issues out on the table. If she doesn't want to do it, break it off.

[DirksterG30]

It is all about control. What happens down the road when she wants control over something else in your life, say, where you work? Where you live... What will you do then? I also find it very troubling that she listens to her "friends" and not to you. When she gets angry about you having guns, she's not "exerting her right to make decisions and stick by them." She is manipulating you. Do you want this the rest of your life?

I agree with some of the other posters who've suggesting having a heart-to-heart talk with her. If she doesn't listen, then you had better be prepared to be manipulated and bullied like this as long as you are together.

Good luck, and I hope it works out for you.

[MikeIsaj]

My $.02;

This isn't about guns, this is about mutual respect. My wife and I (25yrs) both have interests the other does not share. She doesn't forbid me and I don't forbid her from pursuing them. She is not anti-gun, she just doesn't get the same thrill out of shooting as I do. She does shoot with me occasionally. I have never cross-stitched with her. Her only conditions are that food comes before guns and I keep them secure.

Last time I was in MD, I saw lots of unattached young ladies. Maybe you should find a new girlfriend.

[ravencon]

It is interesting how quickly so many responses were generated by Silverbird's post. This is something that resonates with lots of guys.

The brutal truth is that most young men fail to seriously analyze the compatability of values (or lack thereof) with their girlfriends and the long term consequences that arise from that.

Most guys suffer from relationship creep (a relative of mission creep) where the relationship advances on its own momentum. Once reality sinks in a little and problems are noticed the guy next suffers from the "sunk cost fallacy". The guy is overwhelmed by the fact that he has so much invested in the relationship that he ignores or glosses over the storm warnings in the hope that things will work out. It is almost always better to pay the terrible price of admitting you've made a mistake rather than wait until the mistake become much, much bigger.

"Yes, well, everybody in Casablanca has problems. Yours may work out."

[Andrew Rothman]

I fancy myself as a decent "case presenter" (read: arguer). I've presented the self-defense side, all of the "what-if's" that I know of, including hiking with bears, intruders, riots, New orleans-type scenerios, and Armageddon.

The thing is, is that I feel like there's an angle that I could take to help convince her that me having guns is a GOOD THING. I just can't figure out what that angle is.

The phrase you're looking for is "wishful thinking."

Logic does not work on those who choose to base their decisions on emotion.

There is exactly one argument left to try:

You should know me, and know that I am a good man -- caring, careful, prudent, responsible and trustworthy. If you don't trust me to safely own and use guns, you clearly don't trust me enough to stay with me. And I'll miss you -- for a while, anyway.

[3 gun]

She puts a lot of value in the opinions of others (except me).
What else is there to say? Run don't walk to the nearest exit.

[Rickstir]

Man you are in deep. You can have sex with a lot of women. There are others out there. If you agree on all of those other things, conversation around your place must be pretty boring.

You are also in a financial mess. I get the sense you are lost. Too bad, we need all the shooters we can get.

My wife never even blinked when she saw my guns. Her family never hunted or had anything to do with guns. But she could tell it was important to me. She now has her own pistol, has "protected" the livestock, and shot a .410 shotgun. She thinks my AK-47 is a very beautiful gun. NO, I am not telling anyone where she is!!!! She is mine!!!! :rolleyes:

[nomadboi]

I think this is something a lot of us have dealt with at some point, in one way or another. :p

One thing I'd add that might be contrary to a lot of what you may be hearing here is to leave politics out of it. One reason many 'liberals' shy away from guns is indeed a cultural thing- and yes, sometimes it seems like if you get involved in shooting you run the chance of being surrounded by right-wing conservative Christians.

But ya know, there are actually people who are fond of firearms related activities, who enjoy guns, who also don't like our current administration, who tend to choose environmental issues over development, who believe in global warming and the need for population control, who vote pro-choice, who are all different skin colors, ages, and genders.

I think places like this sometimes encourage this whole 'us versus them' mentality that does more harm than good. It's not a package deal- if she wants, she can decide to try firearms without having to vote Republican, drive a truck, or listen to Country music. It's not all stereotypes here- or shouldn't be, anyway.

That said, it's also worth getting some more specifics on what she objects to. If it's the safety issue for having kids or strangers around the house, fine, that's valid- get a safe. I also got a Steyr M40 as my first handgun; the wife was reassured some by the multiple safeties and the built in lock (all of which are optional, by the way).

One of the reasons my wife hasn't gone shooting with me yet is our small child, and lack of a babysitter. That's fine, I'll wait. She also has had some problems with post-partum depression, and didn't want easy access to any effective suicide tools. Again, that's fine; everything is kept locked in ways she can't get at it very easily.

Granted, I'm still trying to talk her into the shotgun my dad's trying to sell me...
:o

[K-Romulus]

If you want to take her to a range that is pretty squared-away, I suggest Gilbert's in Rockville. It may not be too far from "Central Maryland," and is pretty "professional" most of the time.

All new shooters have to watch a safety video, and the range staff are very helpful. (If you are buying something, that may be a different story). I'm a member. Their website is http://www.gilbertindoorrange.com. It will run you $50 for a "one month membership," though, but what's money when you're trying to save a relationship.

(You will have to buy ammo at the range, though)

FWIW, I've been where you are (minus the purchased house, though), and it came down to a values gut-check. I have since married someone else. :cool:

[Beren]

She gets in a heated rage whenever I bring up the subject, and will not budge on the issue.

Why would you want a relationship with a person who goes into an irrational fit over inanimate objects?

[ny32182]

You've already bought a house with her? And you are not married to her? How does that work, exactly?

Don't want to echo what everyone else has said, but man, do I ever feel sorry for you.... and that isn't meant as an insult in the least.

Just to add some happiness to this thread: My GF's first time shooting a firearm in the last ten years (pic taken a few weeks ago): :)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v212/ny32182/joanna_taurus.jpg

[DelayedReaction]

If she doesn't like your guns, she doesn't like part of who you are.

[Lemon328i]

Your girlfriend is irrational. Being indifferent to firearms is quite different to hating them. She has no understanding of them due to ignorance. I would point out to her that her attitude towards firearms is as bigoted as racists who have never spoken to a person of color, homophobes who have never spoken to a homosexual, atheists who have never studied religion, etc.

Now, since her sister is a police officer, you should pull articles on the following 2 legal cases: Warren v District of Columbia and Town of Castle Rock v Gonzalez. In both of these cases, people depended solely upon the protection of police officers with tragic consequences. They were denied relief, because the government and its agents (i.e. police officers) are not liable for failure to protect an individual. So ask your girlfriend what contigency plan should be in place if someone is breaking into your mutual home and the police fail to respond?

Here is a good layman's website on this issue: http://hematite.com/dragon/policeprot.html

If she is reasonably well educated she should understand that a firearm is an inherently dangerous tool just like a chef's knife, a bat, an axe, a machete, matches, lighters, etc. ; i.e. things that must be used responsibly but are not to be feared.

Also keep in mind that should you choose to marry this woman, she can easily file a restraining order against you, which will cause you to lose nearly all of your firearms rights until the order is rescinded. However, the police can (and in Maryland will) seize your firearms while you are under an R.O.

While she may be a "perfect" woman in every way but firearms, there are plenty of other women out there. Why should you give up your firearms? Why isn't it just as fair for her to give up her crazy liberal friends?

[J Miller]

Problem = GF does NOT like guns...

Solution = Replace anti gun GF with pro gun GF

Trying to live under those conditions will only cause you pain and heartache.
Better to call it quits and move on.

Joe

[Beren]

ttbadboy,

Adding some happiness to this thread would be to tell us that your GF has a sister who's single. :D

[Pilgrim]

She also is hearing from her friends that she cannot cave on this issue, because she needs to exert her right to make decisions and stick by them or some crap . She puts a lot of value in the opinions of others (except me).
Sounds like my ex-wife. Many years ago she pulled a, "If you don't do this I'm leaving!" I showed her where the door was in case she forgot.

She kept pushing over the years on a number of issues. Finally, the deciding factor was her blood-sucking leech brother who had been living with us and was an ungrateful trash mouth SOB. I ran him off and she went with him.

Strangely, she never said much about my guns, other than she thought I spent too much on them. However, compared to her 'hobbies' I was downright frugal.

Life is too short to be married to someone who thinks they can change you.

Pilgrim

[Strings]

wait a sec... not married, but "bought a house together"? Huh? Never heard of that!

If the paperwork is joint, get your name removed via whatever means necessary. Take a loss if you have to, it'll probably be less than what you'll lose in the eventual divorce...

If the paperwork is in her name, *EJECT!EJECT!EJECT!*

If it's in your name: get an RO against her ("Your Honor, she flies into a rage whenever we discuss certain topics, which makes me fear for both my safety and hers") and evict her butt. Rent the house out to someone if ya have to...



Oh... little note about relationships: you are NOT looking for someone who has the same attitudes about EVERYTHING as you do. That would be a dull existance. My parents (who were married for 30+) had nothing in common except the love they shared. Just food for thought...

[Bruce H]

Folks, it ain't the package, it is what resides in the package. A box of ???? wrapped in christmas paper is still a box of ????. Extricate yourself and think with the proper organ.

[gulogulo1970]

Hey if you love her, stay. Just do as you want. Buy what you want. If a woman really loves you she will put up with an amazing amount of ????.

If she leaves you because you own guns, well, what you had wasn't love. You were a pet that would not obey.

[migoi]

might want to actually stay in this relationship, maybe the "angle" you are looking for is what makes the police different from you?

I've never been able to understand why regular citizens seem to think police officers have some type of magical powers when it comes to firearms.

Some questions come to mind. Does she fly into a rage when her sister is around her with a gun? If not, why not? Ask the sister to give you the same training she received as a police officer in the use of firearms.

You seemed to indicate her father was no longer a police officer. If this is true does he still have firearms? Does she fly into a rage when she is around her fathers firearms?

migoi

[M-Rex]

but we bought a house together last year, so I don't think she's just another passing GF.

What the hell were you thinking?!?!? :what:

You made a major investment:

A. With someone you have no attachments to?

B. With someone who does not respect you as a man, much less a person?


Are you out of your mind? :banghead:

[Working Man]

Good catch ttbadboy.

The thing to remember in a relationship is that the two of you get together
because of who you are... not who you might become. This isn't the NYSE.
Looking down that road it isn't going to get any better.

Tell her you are intolerant of her dismissing of you interests... when
she says too bad, state you are appalled at her intolerance of your
intolerance. :neener: It makes about as much sense.

Seems as though you both are trying to change each other, she just seems
way less reasonable than you.

She gets in a heated rage whenever I bring up the subject

Don't settle, remember....

Compromise and Exception lead to FAILURE. :evil:

[XLMiguel]

As many of the married 'veterans' have pointed out, things that you can overlook or tolerate now will only get worse later. Believe it!!! You're still thinking too much with the little head and not enough with the big head. Ravencon hit it:The brutal truth is that most young men fail to seriously analyze the compatability of values (or lack thereof) with their girlfriends and the long term consequences that arise from that.

You have been given a lot of advice ranging from 'discuss it as two adults and try and work it out, if not get out', to "RUN! RUN! RUN!', but the bottom line is still get out. Please take it to heart. No one here has a dog in this fight, you are getting objective (though free, worth what you paid for it) advice. Yes, it will be painful and probably expen$ive, but no where near as painful and EXPEN$$$IVE if you pursue this folly.

Don't be among the "too soon old [and divorced and broke], too late smart" walking wounded. Good luck to you.

[haole_boySS]

That statement about sums it up....this is really the ONLY issue we REALLY disagree on.....everything else, politics, religion, paint colors,furniture; we see eye-to-eye on.
Come on Silverbird.....tell everyone about your other Passion that she also Hates. ;)

[WmMackee]

Certainly there is compatablity issues here, the question is do you want to spend the next 30 years or so letting someone else control your relationship or do you want a "partner" in life's journy? Only you can decide, but on something this vital you at least want someone who will accept your beliefs and interest or just start wearing hats and shirts with a big PW logo on it. :evil:

[DarthBubba]

Silverbird
Run that is right run do not walk to the nearest exit. This reminds me of some sagely advice I got from a good and wise friend who tried to tell me not to marry my second wife.
“Stand in the door on the green light push yourself forward as hard as you can, then enjoy the wind and the freedom.” (Airborne jump instructor and my best man the night before my wedding to wife number 2) shoulda listened to him.
You can not ever have a rational discussion with a Rabid Anti so do not try, have a fling and get your jolly hohos but as far as sticking around goes make it a Teflon relationship heat it up get it cooked and slide on outa there.

DarthBubba

[Essex County]

I'd take her plinking with something Mild late afternoon and then take her to Her favorite restraunt for a fantastic meal Don't forget the Wine. If she refuses to go or soften up it's not about GUNS.........I wish you the best.. Essex

[torpid]

She gets in a heated rage whenever I bring up the subject...
Cute.

She puts a lot of value in the opinions of others (except me).
Nice.

Now I'm wanting a 2nd, 3rd, and 4th gun, but she's not budging. Not even through inheritance, where I stand to inherit a ~WWI 1911 ca1918, and my grandfathers rifle ca mid-1800's.
Well, enjoy not inheriting them, then.


We bought a house together last year...
Oops.

...but I'm hooked, and there's no turning back. Like having sex.
To expand on your analogy:
Remember, though there may be no turning back from sex once you've had it- you wouldn't have sex with a beautiful woman that had an STD would you? Or would you blissfully carry on hoping it would just go away later?

The thing is, is that I feel like there's an angle that I could take to help convince her that me having guns is a GOOD THING. I just can't figure out what that angle is...
Ah, the classic "I can change him" mentality.

She's going, "The thing is, is that I feel like there's an angle that I could take to help convince him that having guns is a BAD THING. I just can't figure out what that angle is..."

Imagine her trying to convince you to allow another guy to join in your relationship- could she find the perfect persuasive argument that would "convince" you to come around to that idea?

Yes, from your descriptions, she probably is that resistant to guns.

I guess I will just have to find a place to shoot, and pressure her to come out with me. Hopefully she'll take to it like some of the other significant others in this thread.
Pressuring her is probably a very bad idea if her friends are telling her to "make a stand"- look at the advice here to her "pressuring" you.


Good luck to you if you choose to continue stay together- enjoy it while it lasts (your owning guns that is...). May that miracle change of heart you're hoping for actually come true, maybe it will...

:)

[pax]

<-- female

The thing is, is that I feel like there's an angle that I could take to help convince her that me having guns is a GOOD THING. I just can't figure out what that angle is.
Silverbird ~

You've got the cart before the horse. You don't need to convince her that your owning guns is a good thing. Not at first. You have to start by respecting yourself.

But since you've already rejected the idea of being your own person, and have ceded your human dignity to someone else, now you're sitting there going, "Well, if I only plead with the woman who owns me long enough, in just the right way, eventually she'll relent and let me have my way on this."

The way to convince your woman that you have her permission to own guns is simply to become a human being -- in her eyes and in your own. Once you are a human being, you will be entitled to an opinion of your own, and she will respect it.

As you said, "She puts a lot of value in the opinions of others..." So she doesn't have a problem with other people having opinions. Then you add, "... (except me)." What's different about you? What's different about you is that she owns you. She thinks you are her. And you think she is you. That's why you need her permission to do stuff. That's why she gets enraged when you dare to express an opinion different from hers -- because she thinks you are merely an extension of her, not a person of your own.

Unless and until that little problem is fixed, you probably shouldn't own guns.

pax

The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things. -- Jilly Cooper

[Jeeper]

Justin

I think I found a new signature line

I would no more date a girl who was anti gun than I would date a girl who wanted me to become a Scientologist.

[got_the_bug]

silverbird...

I think the most important answer to your question isn't about firearms, which others have already alluded to in prior posts. It's great that you agree on most things...no, your interests don't have to be the same. However, chances are, the way she is reacting to something you AREN'T in agreement about will be a pattern for your future life together. Translation...if you are seeing angry and irrational as a response now, get used to angry and irrational as a standard response -- whether it is something as mundane as who takes out the garbage, or as important as whether or not firearms will be "allowed in the house".

The reason that I feel I should wax eloquent on this subject is because I have had an EXTREMELY bad experience that relates to this very thing...well, the relationship thing, anyway. It didn't directly relate to firearms, until I was falsely accused of abuse, and my firearms were taken away for more than a year while I dealt with a restraining order, criminal charges, etc. Not pleasant, and more so since it was a thinly veiled tactic to attempt to destroy something that is really important to me. Thankfully, all charges were dropped when Loopy Doo demonstrated her story-telling ability in court. A divorce, about $25,000, and countless court dates later, my firearms are back and Nutty Buddy is gone. Divorce is not a good thing, but I was certainly saved from a terrible fate -- yes, it could have been worse.

I know it is easy for someone not in the situation to say "just get rid of her", but having been there, chances are there is more to it than that. You have a house and life together; I was married. My advice would be to look carefully at her actions, because this is a pretty good indication of how she'll react to other disagreements. If you are a laid back guy (like me) and tend to compromise most of the time while thinking you are being the bigger person -- it is only enabling the other person to take advantage of you. When you finally figure out what is going on and stand up and say "enough", that is when things really fall apart.

OK, Counsellor Ben is all done...sorry, after reading your post I just had some serious flashbacks...thought I was in the 'Nam. I just would not wish my experience of the last few years on anyone; especially not an unsuspecting fellow gun owner...

[Henry Bowman]

As usual, pax comes through* and sums it all up in a concise way.


*Through the jungle of men's rants of "Drop her like last week's TV Guide!"

[thumbody]

Sounds like time to buy a new gun.Bring it home ,show it to her. If she leaves she wasn't worth keeping!

[torpid]

As usual, pax comes through* and sums it all up in a concise way.


*Through the jungle of men's rants of "Drop her like last week's TV Guide!"

To be fair, when someone is holding a snake by the tail, folks who've been bit by rattlers are more prone to yell "DROP IT!" when they see it!

:D

[odysseus]

I think Pax is addressing the core issue here.

Now with what you said:

That statement about sums it up....this is really the ONLY issue we REALLY disagree on.....everything else, politics, religion, paint colors,furniture; we see eye-to-eye on. Maybe should have mentioned this in the 1st post, but we bought a house together last year, so I don't think she's just another passing GF. I'd hate to end this over guns, but I'm hooked, and there's no turning back. Like having sex

It is interesting you agree on politics, but not this. Hard for me to see that clearly, because owning and posessing firearms by civilians is a huge political issue in where you believe personal liberties begin and end. It's where the tire meets the pavement, and her believing only LE possessing firearms is correct can only mean a lot of other political issues of inalienable rights are off.

I think from what you are saying about buying a house together, and staying in it for sex shows you have a lot to learn. I hope it works out for you; then on the other hand, some lessons are learned the hard way. Best of luck to you.

[mnrivrat]

Love can not only be blind, but also deaf & dumb .

I would guess that although there is a lot of valuable information presented to you here (and some not so valuable) , that you will have difficulty acting on it. My take is that you need to have a long talk with you GF about how a relationship should work.

Once again, it is about mutual respect . The right to be you within a relationship as long as it doesn't hurt the other person , and a tolerance of your differences.

I will refrain from giving my opinion on purchasing a house together at a time I would consider pre-mature .

Good luck with everything !

[SLCDave]

Pax makes very good arguements.

I am married to a very strong-willed woman. You have to understand that there is compromise in every relationship, but you have to be able to put your foot down when it counts. She doesn't have to like guns, go shooting with you, and join the NRA, but she DOES have to respect your decision to do these things. My wife hasn't been shooting with me in several years, and doesn't necessarily like the time that I spend shooting, but she understands that it's a part of me. You can't change your girlfriend's mind if she doesn't respect you. Getting a gun "under the radar" probably made her think you were going behind her back to get it, and probably made her respect you less. She sounds like a bully. You need to show her you are capable of making a decision for yourself, and sticking to your guns, so to speak. Don't pick a fight with her, but the next time the subject comes up, just tell her you're not debating this issue with her. You have a gun, you'll be getting more through inheritance, and you'll probably be buying more in the future. This part of your life can include her if she wishes, but will go on regardless of her feelings on the matter. The guns will be stored safely, and will not be a danger to her at any time. If she still has an issue with this, suggest she seek counseling for her irrational feelings.

[mister2]

Five pages of replies in less than 30 hours!

My GF (now wife) hates, I mean HATES FAs. But she respects me even more than she hates guns. It's give and take, which I fail to see from your description of the situation. Your problem may be deeper than just guns, with all due respect.

One postiive thing: Whatever decision you make will at least be an informed one.

You can try the "pro-active" (case presenter) route, but I suspect that would've worked already, if it ever had a chance. And make sure your FAs don't fall into communal property for lawyers to bicker over.


Good luck!

[isa268]

Damn 24 hours and 4 pages.

I’m having the same problem. I had rifles when I met my GF and she didn’t have a problem with them cause I only shot them at the range or hunting. One was a SKS and the hunting rifle was a freaking black powder so to her they are less dangerous cause I’m not carrying them 24/7 like my carry pistol (SW1911SC).

I also bought the pistol and got my CHL “under the radar” cause I didn’t think I needed to ask her for permission.

She freaked when she found out I had a pistol on me out in public. I’m in Texas so only 30.06 “no gun” signs are legal to keep my pistol out of buildings but every time we see a non-compliant “no gun” sign she’s like “you know what they mean they don’t want your gun in here” my response is if they really didn’t want my gun in here they would post a compliant 30.06.

Check out:
http://www.kressworks.com/Politics/Gun_Control/dgu/defensive_gun_uses.html
http://www.combatcarry.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=3233
http://glocktalk.com/showthread.php?threadid=331192
http://www.gunfacts.info/
http://www.guncite.com/
http://justfacts.com/gun_control.htm
Especially http://www.jpfo.org/ragingagainstselfdefense.htm

She has calmed down a lot recently. First it was I don’t want anything to do with them. After a little arguing, now it's not in her place (we have separate places), but I’ll be damned if I’m going to be told I can’t carry on the streets. And I’ll be damned it she tries to keep them out of MY house if we ever get married. I plan on having a very long discussion before I make any decision on taking this relationship any farther.

People keep talking about caving. This situation your in is really a test. If you cave she will have you’re balls in her purse for the rest of your life. I didn’t cave and won’t cave, it’s guns or nothing for me. Don’t cave, it will be a long road but I have faith both of our GF’s will one day come around…that or there are other fish in the sea.

Lots of people have also mentioned the control issue and the anger management issue (if she really is getting into “heated” arguments) for a lot of Anti’s they think they can’t control their rage and will some day “snap” and shoot someone so everyone else could snap and they don’t need guns. You need to show her that most people are good and don’t just “snap” (use http://www.jpfo.org/ragingagainstselfdefense.htm from above on how to deal with this)

It all goes back to an irrational fear. She’s only knows about guns from what she’s seen on TV and heard from her friends and the VPC. You can change her irrational fears but it is going to take time and effort. In my case my GF somehow thinks I’m going to get killed or shot myself. First you can’t clean a loaded gun so I don’t believe in that “he shoot himself while cleaning his gun” BS. Second your more likely to survive an attack if you defend yourself. (see http://www.gunfacts.info/ above)

Oh tell her if shes so worried about getting shoot maybe she should get her own gun to shoot back with . :)

The others have said to RUN. But I say give her a chance, if she doesn’t give up her irrational beliefs then RUN.

PS get those other 4 guns before you get married and say they come or I don’t

[Jet22]

Part of the problem is that her sister is a cop, as was her father many years ago. She hears the stories her sister tells her, and she's decided that the only people that should own a gun are LEO's.

Do her dad and sister have guns in their homes?? :scrutiny:

And I'll also bet they carry guns most of the time. :eek:

If they do and they don't think that anybody else should, it sounds like just the type of people I like to be around... :barf: NOT!!!

Hypocrites. Bleading heart liberals. :cuss:

These are the same type of people you share your politics with??? :confused: You stick with this relationship and it will be. :uhoh:

[silverbird]

To answer a couple questions.....No, her sister does not bring her gun home. She doesn't think it's appropriate. Her father is so far removed from the police force he may as well have never been one.

As far as me being different from a LEO; she came up with the idea that if I am to keep this gun, I need to pass the same shooting range test that the poilce pass. I don't think that's unreasonable, and it gives me another opportunity to shoot, AND it's a good way for her to be introduced to shooting.

I think from what you are saying about buying a house together, and staying in it for sex shows you have a lot to learnI didn't say I was staying in for sex, I can get that anywhere. I said owning a gun is like sex...once you get one/it, you don't want to give it up.

I'm also into cars....I've got a couple of muscle cars that I regularly modify, race, and generally spend money on. She doesn't understand WHY I do that, but she lets it go. It's not a major concern for her. As long as I don't bring another car home, she's ok with what I do. As long as there's food on the table and housework is getting done, she's cool. That's not unreasonable.

Her "heated rage" isn't a raging lunatic throwing objects like many of you are thining/describing...she gets pissy and holes up for a few hours. We talk about it later and go from there. I can see in her face that it REALLY bothers her though, and that she's fuming inside.

I've been in pleanty of relationships, and this is the ONLY reason I have to not be in this one. And it has just surfaced in the last 2 months (when I got the gun).

Thanks for all the replies....seems to be a hot topic :)

[GAMALOT]

This one has me rolling on the floor!
Bet she is a Democrat, Bet she thinks Bill Clinton did nothing wrong with Monica and with that being said, Think I would call her bluff and send her packing straight to California.
The chances of you winning this battle are slim and none so at the very least, rethink your attitude toward her and just how commited you plan to get. Measure her legs, if the left one is a bit shorter then hit the road!
Gary

[JTaylor]

I think the real question is, do you know who you are, or will she decide that for you.

[Sindawe]

I'm also into cars....I've got a couple of muscle cars that I regularly modify, race, and generally spend money on. She doesn't understand WHY I do that, but she lets it go. It's not a major concern for her. As long as I don't bring another car home, she's ok with what I do. Not YET anyways. But I suspect that will change over time, 'specially if you cave on the issue of guns. Her "heated rage" isn't a raging lunatic throwing objects like many of you are thining/describing...she gets pissy and holes up for a few hours. Good on the not throwing things. Not so good on the pouting, which is what your GFs described behavior is. Indicates to me a great deal of emotional immaturity.

I wish you the best of luck with your FG silverbird. You're gonna need it.

[nextjoe]

As far as me being different from a LEO; she came up with the idea that if I am to keep this gun, I need to pass the same shooting range test that the poilce pass.

Wow. Just... wow.

Will you have to qualify for the Indy 500 to keep your race cars?

[afasano]

Why does she have a problem with YOUR CHOICE? :confused:

[entropy]

Turn the tables on her. If she uses the 'If you loved me you'd give them up' gambit, respond with 'If you loved me, you wouldn't ask me to.'

FWIW, I think you should just gently say, "I'm sorry, I just don't think this is going to work out."

As for what I did; when I was dating my wife, she was neither anti, nor pro, but slightly afraid of guns, and totally uneducated about them, except for varmint control on the farm. I took her shooting,and she warmed to it somewhat. I made it very clear that guns, hunting, and fishing were a fundamental part of who I am, that will not change, and if she objected to that, she was free to end the relationship. We will be married 17 years in Dec., and although I made some sacrifices in those areas during our marriage, (sold most of my guns to pay bills, don't hunt near as much as I used to, etc.) she knew better than to try to change me in that respect. I also don't try to change her too much, she's a spoiled Daddy's girl and always will be! :p

[Lemon328i]

As far as me being different from a LEO; she came up with the idea that if I am to keep this gun, I need to pass the same shooting range test that the police pass.

That is no test at all. The MPCTC sets requirements for the state. The minimum is 70% on a 50 or 60 round course of fire on B27 targets and NRA scoring. Maximum distance is 25yds and must be done in daylight and again under low-light conditions. Many can meet this requirement easily with only the most rudimentary familiarization. A far better test is whether you can keep all your shots on a 10inch paper plate at 25yds.

[Tokugawa]

Oh man, oh man- ! Take a vacation by yourself. Drive your fast car. Bring your gun. Visit some other states. Hang in some other shooting clubs. Go out for a few beers with some new friends. Meet a few girls. Buy yourself some time to think, out from under her radar---FEEL the FREEDOM!!

THE ONLY REASON YOU POSTED THIS QUESTION IS BECAUSE YOU KNOW THERE IS A PROBLEM AND YOUR INNER VOICE IS WARNING YOU.
SO PAY ATTENTION.

[Sewerman]

lose her

[Johnny_Yuma]

As far as me being different from a LEO; she came up with the idea that if I am to keep this gun, I need to pass the same shooting range test that the poilce pass. I don't think that's unreasonable, and it gives me another opportunity to shoot, AND it's a good way for her to be introduced to shooting.

I think you should come up with the idea that if she is going to keep her current boyfriend, she should start showing you the proper respect. She does not respect you as a man.

If I were similarly situated, I would 1)make preparations to leave on a moment's notice, 2)put my foot down and insist on some respect for my capacity as a man to make my own decisions. I know from experience women will test me on that - If they didn't back down on this one I would leave - happily. <cue in Merle and Johnny singing "I'm Leavin' Now>

[Bob R]

My feelings on this runs like many.

But, I think you would do better getting a job with these guys, Cat Herders (http://www.stupidvideos.com/Default.asp?VideoID=323) , than trying to convert the G/F to tolerate your opinoins, or guns.

I don't see this going anywhere good.

bob

[MudPuppy]

What you want is a gf/wife that'll get you a gun for your birthday--and wants one for hers. That is bliss--at least 10 years worth so far.

You need to be with someone who loves and respects you--doesn't sound like that's what you have.

Imagine what it would be like--maybe you'd hear what I heard the other day from my wife: "Sweetie, what kind of gun do you want for your b'day this year?"

[Darth Ruger]

As long as I don't bring another car home, she's ok with what I do.
So she already has control of that aspect of your life. She hasn't banned it, but by your own admission (above), she does have control of it.

Or should I say, by your own submission...?

[GAMALOT]

On second thought and after reading more of your situation I think you should just surrender. Send me your guns for safe keeping and drop off one of your muscle cars because my wife would love to have one.
For a daily vitamin, Dr. G. recommends a double dose of Testosterone.
Gary

[Gordon Fink]

Be a man. Stand up for yourself.

~G. Fink

[JohnKSa]

Just so you can't dismiss it, this is absolutely NOT comic relief. I am dead serious.

There WILL come a day in the not too distant future that you will wish you were dead--and on that day you will remember all the good advice you read and ignored on this thread. :(

[NineseveN]

All the love in the world is not worth sacrificing your principles to obtain it.

[Johnny_Yuma]

I have to acknowledge that my own brother's fiance "MADE" him buy a Yorkshire Terrier last month when he wanted a new dog. He wanted Beagle or Boston Terrier. Funny how she MADE him do that! :barf: She's MADE him do other things too, like sell his truck and buy a four-door, sell his motorcycle, etc. She brings him "honey-do" lists for HIS house on the weekends.

Some guys simply do not stand up for themselves or go for what they want in life. Instead, they go for what their girlfriend, wife, mommy, etc. wants.

If you have no respect for your own desires, how can you expect a woman to respect them?

[Otherguy Overby]

Once upon a time she might have liked you.

Once upon a time she might have been attracted to you as a man.

You are already giving up.

Here's a hint: women don't like pu$$ys.

IOW, if you roll over and give up, she will hate you for it. She will then state: "I don't know what I saw in you!"

She's testing you, grasshopper, you just haven't seen that yet.

[GunGoBoom]

She puts a lot of value in the opinions of others (except me).

In that case, print this thread out and give it to her.

[gripper]

Man,you gotta disengage from this...it ain't gonna end well.I'm mystified as to her sister the cop's attitude;now she REALLY sounds like someone I'd want serving and protecting me.....I'm sorry,I can't stand that "I'm special because I'm a (fill in the blank)"....add that to the fact that she sounds like she wants thinks the only way to "not cave" is to cave you in .PLus the whole "irrational rage " thing makes me think she lacks a certain level of impulse control.Hey,If she is that much of a ball cutter,run while you still got'em

[Turkey Creek]

I'm curious as to how long after purchasing the house did these disagreements develop?- my guess would be not very long- her master plan is working well- she has a legal relationship with you now even though it is not a marriage, and now she feels more empowered to exert her influence- multiply this empowerment by a gazillion when the full authority of the law is exerted when your name is next to hers on the marriage certificate- multiply this by a gazillion gazillion when the children arrive- this is not about firearms or cars by any remote stretch of the imagination- people who truely care about each other do not make these demands!- I'm 60 years old and have been married to the same woman for 36 of those years because I chose wisely- the most important conversation that we had during our 4 year courtship was that, if there was ever a time when we could not work out or compromise to both of our satisfactions a disagreement, I have veto power- she said ok and I knew instantly she was the one- funny though that I've never had to exert the veto- that's not to say we think alike about everything because we don't- but what is immensly important is that we don't try to impose our wills on each other- we're husband and wife but we're also best friends- best friends do not treat each other the way she is treating you- my boy, you have not chosen wisely and you're in deep doodoo!

[gezzer]

RUN! Don't look Back

[GunGoBoom]

^
|
|
Wow, some seriously sage advice from those who have BTDT and have had success in a LTR. Thank you sir for your wisdom, T. Creek!

[Andrew Rothman]

Thinking back, I've never seen a thread like this where the guy comes back and says, "Wow -- you guys were right, so I dumped her."

It's always, "She's not so bad," and "I'll keep working on her," or "I'll let her have this round, but one day," or the fatal "But I looooooove her!"

I think he was not looking for advice, but validation of the decision he's already made.

Very well. Here you go:

Keep at it. You'll convince her one day. Sure, you may have to strategically sell all of your guns, your cars and your soul, but it'll help convince her. Sure, all of these dozens of guys who have had similar experiences, but YOUR girl is different. Really she is. And you're happy. Things are fine. I'm amazed that you even doubted her for a moment.

[pax]

Matt ~

http://www.thefiringline.com/forums/showthread.php?t=54943

pax

My own business bores me to death. I prefer other people's. -- Oscar Wilde

[gunsmith]

who called the cops and said "he has guns and is making threats"
It could have been real bad, except for my other roomie who stood up for me and told the cops it was a BS false alarm.

[Candiru]

If you follow the advice everyone has offered in this thread and dump this woman, you're stupid. Not because the advice is bad or the action is incorrect, but because you wouldn't be breaking up with your girlfriend for your own reasons. Something that momentous has to be done for reasons you consider valid, or you'll regret it. Clearly, you share an emotional bond, and such are never lightly shattered, no matter how justified the breaking may be.

The problem with these emotional bonds, though, is that they make an objective point of view difficult. So change the facts; look at it differently. Imagine you have just bought the perfect gun. You spent your entire life savings on it, but it's the size of a Seecamp .32, looks like a 1911, holds 30 rounds of .500 Magnum, is full-auto-capable, has less recoil than a .22, and puts all its rounds into the same hole at 100 yards. The only problem you can discover is that maybe once a magazine, a design flaw will cause it to torque so hard it snaps your wrist like a matchstick. How perfect does the gun have to be before it justifies the crippling abuse? Does the fact that you would lose money by selling it mean you should keep shooting it and having your wrist broken? What would you do with a gun like that?

[forquidder]

Said it before and I'll say it again. Most "be true to thine own self" lessons in life are hard learned and so like all before him, silverbird will bite dust hard on this one. He's basically given the typical "thanks but no thanks" response to this thread already.
Let me play psychic for a moment.
Two choices. The GF rags long and hard enough to get him to relent and give up his guns. There have been other smaller issues in which silverbird has relented but they seemed insignificant. GF finds that she has a measure of control to shape Silverbird into the man of her dreams and continues to do so on a daily basis. Never realizing she is developing a secret loathing for him because he's unable to make a stand for his personal beliefs and values. They get married, have kids and she begins to look at him with contempt because instead of being the man she never knew she wanted, he has become as compliant as one of her brow-beaten sons, he's lost his soul for all the "goodies" he thought he was getting.
Or else silverbird recognizes the above the above scenario playing out, stands firm in his beliefs and lets the chips fall where they may.
Print this thread out roll it up and put it in your safe deposit box and read it again 10 years down the road.
See if your perspective has changed. ;)

[zookrider]

Silverbird ~

You've got the cart before the horse. You don't need to convince her that your owning guns is a good thing. Not at first. You have to start by respecting yourself.

But since you've already rejected the idea of being your own person, and have ceded your human dignity to someone else, now you're sitting there going, "Well, if I only plead with the woman who owns me long enough, in just the right way, eventually she'll relent and let me have my way on this."

The way to convince your woman that you have her permission to own guns is simply to become a human being -- in her eyes and in your own. Once you are a human being, you will be entitled to an opinion of your own, and she will respect it.

As you said, "She puts a lot of value in the opinions of others..." So she doesn't have a problem with other people having opinions. Then you add, "... (except me)." What's different about you? What's different about you is that she owns you. She thinks you are her. And you think she is you. That's why you need her permission to do stuff. That's why she gets enraged when you dare to express an opinion different from hers -- because she thinks you are merely an extension of her, not a person of your own.

Unless and until that little problem is fixed, you probably shouldn't own guns.

pax

Print the above quote and read it everyday for a week. If, at the end of that week you have not yet come to realize the truth of Pax's words, then you are truly a lost cause and I mourn your passing from man to pet.

[coylh]

"She's just not that into you." ;)

[psyopspec]

I need to pass the same shooting range test that the poilce pass.

Not only does she not want him to own guns, she wants him to shoot them as accurately as a drunken hurdler. :uhoh: That said, it's of great import that you give serious thought to your future with this woman.

[GAMALOT]

Lets look ahead in time.
Ten years, you are married, two children, no guns and sold the cars to pay the bills.
You are no longer the man she fell in love with!
She takes off with a cop who has a cool car!
She gets the house and kids and half of your pay check for the rest of her life.
You BLAME THE COP.
Gary

[Jet22]

Women marry men cause they think they can change them...
Men marry women cause they think the will never change...

[thebaldguy]

Ok, ok, my turn...

Work something out for the house. This differing of opinion sounds like it may split the relationship sooner or later. Find some sort of rational agreement when your relationship ends. Be nice to her - she may change her feelings later, so be a nice guy. You never know!

Go find a country type girl or a semi-rural equivalent. A good one has a dad who owns more guns than you do. Most are pretty open about firearms I think. That's usually a good indicator. Be nice to him. Chances are if she's ok with dad's firearms, she's ok with yours. She may even shoot once in a while. I love the one I got!


Good luck!

[migoi]

got it right. I married a girl that grew up 25 miles from town in New Mexico. The only disagreements we have over firearms are about me ever getting a chance to shoot certain ones because she's always hogging them at the range.

About the cop sister: She doesn't think it appropriate to bring her gun home? I thought cops were cops 24/7/365 for the rest of their life. What's her plan when someone she arrested gets out and decides to extract a bit of vengence on the home of the cop that busted him? Odd thought process for a cop.

migoi

[denfoote]

Boy!!! :what:

This is gunna be a test of who loves who!!! :rolleyes: ;)

[telomerase]

Step 1. Move into ground-level apartment in Dallas.

Step 2. When GF hears door being jimmied open, she will suddenly "like guns".

But seriously, you should probably go on cyproterone acetate (testosterone antagonist) for a month... probably all your problems would clear up. (You guys recommending MORE testosterone for this guy haven't thought it through!)

[HonorsDaddy]

Its simple really.

Remind her that she fell in love with you for you. Explain that your interest in guns is just as much a part of you as your enjoyment of red meat (you ARE a carnivore i hope). Further explain that changing that aspect of yourself would make you a different person than you are - perhaps one she would not like.

Then put it quite bluntly and simply. Tell her she must choose between a man she loves and respects, or her uninformed opinion of firearms.

When she responds with "Its the guns or me" (and she will), politely hold the door open for her and say "Its been fun. Have a good life."

She'll be back inside of a week if she really loves you. If she isnt, forget about her.

No - i dont say that just because its guns we're dealing with here. I'd say the same if she was asking you to choose between her and (insert anything else here).

Forcing you to change your interests makes you into something other than the man she fell in love with. If you think she's going to stay with you if you get rid of the guns, you're nuts.

[silverbird]

She has agreed to go shooting with me tomorrow at my buddy's property. Hopefully she will gain some confidence in firearms after a day of plunking soda cans. Either way, she will see that I enjoy it, and that I'm not an irresponsible youngster with guns.

Now lets all cross our fingers that she will take to it a little <fingers crossed>

[Lex]

Run...don't walk. Run away..far far away!

She'll attempt to neuter you on some other issue at a later date!


Lex in NC

[longtooth]

"She puts a lot of value in others opinions except me."
You better open your eyes fellow. :what: You aint nothing but a financial security blanket for her. What ever the issue is in the future everybody's opinion will be more valuable than yours if it is not the same as yours. :neener: If it happens to be the same as yours (& it will very seldom be) then what you will hear is "Marry, Sally, or Jane said the same thing. I guess 'they' are right." You will still not be the leader in the relationship. She is going to wear the pants & be the inforcer. :fire: Send her packing & pack your pistol as soon as you get a permit to carry. :)

[GAMALOT]

I find it hard to believe you have a buddy who would allow her on his property! Unless he knows nothing about this thread.
I used to have a buddy who had a GF who hated guns and anyone who had anything to do with them. He aint allowed to hang out with us any more and when we found out how Pu$$y wipped he was none of us got too upset.
Good luck with your shooting adventure and even if she relents on the gun issue I still think this is only a small battle and the war is far from won.
Gary

[aaronrkelly]

My wife was anti-gun - at one time I sold all my guns to appease her. She was preggo and decided they didnt need to be in the house. We have two kids now and I have guns......what happened???

Well my friend, I found my balls. They werent permanently gone, just hiding. I located them in a box of her stuff, apparently she had taken them from me for safekeeping to prevent me from doing what she didnt like. I located them, reattached and now Im back in business. That was January....

Now I have 8 guns, a bunch of Benchmade pocket knifes and I buy expensive flashlights as well - thank you nutz....you were handy.

My wife become less anti-gun because.....I dont know. I asked a few question after a news story like........what would you do if that was you? That kid that got stabbed or raped or kidnapped.....what if that was you and that kid was ours and you had the option to stop it but couldnt. She still wont carry a gun but she doesnt mind that I do.....and if she did all the sudden start caring again - thats her problem, me and my nutz are best buddies and we like guns.

Nuts and guns - good combo.

[zookrider]

My wife was anti-gun - at one time I sold all my guns to appease her. She was preggo and decided they didnt need to be in the house. We have two kids now and I have guns......what happened???

Well my friend, I found my balls. They werent permanently gone, just hiding. I located them in a box of her stuff, apparently she had taken them from me for safekeeping to prevent me from doing what she didnt like. I located them, reattached and now Im back in business. That was January....

Now I have 8 guns, a bunch of Benchmade pocket knifes and I buy expensive flashlights as well - thank you nutz....you were handy.

My wife become less anti-gun because.....I dont know. I asked a few question after a news story like........what would you do if that was you? That kid that got stabbed or raped or kidnapped.....what if that was you and that kid was ours and you had the option to stop it but couldnt. She still wont carry a gun but she doesnt mind that I do.....and if she did all the sudden start caring again - thats her problem, me and my nutz are best buddies and we like guns.

Nuts and guns - good combo.

:D RFLAO

[psyopspec]

^
Yup, that's a keeper for sure. :cool:

[Steelcore]

Lose the bitch.Last thing you want is to end up as part of a crazy cop family.Always put your guns above women.Especially women who don't want you to have any.

[Geno]

I've been married to the same wonderful Latin goddess for 21 years. She's a gem and a pain in the posterior, all at the same time. Sometimes she believes that her values are mine, or that they should be. People do not change, nor are the capable of significant, deep-seated values change. Even those capable of minior change are typically too weak, or too controlled to live life-long with deep change.

If you don't like what you're experiencing, lay it on the table with her something to this effect: "My owning a firearm is a Constitutional right, the same as life itself. Either we honor each others' differences, or we end this relationship NOW BEFORE CHILDREN ARE IN THE PICTURE".

Now, after she walks, and pray she does now rather than later, go to the range and watch for young ladies who are shooting. :what: Few things are glorious as a woman with a gun.

Take one bit of advice from an expert in this area...start your children off early. My 11-year-old daughter loves firearms and hunting. She actually owns (through me) 2 single action Ruger revolvers. She loves the range.

Doc2005

[atek3]

after you take her shooting, if she doesn't 'come around' dump her and buy a motorcycle...

That seems to be the "thing to do" when gun guys break up after LTR's, they buy a motorcycle.

atek3

[GunGoBoom]

guys, I honestly don't think that spelling out PW and using b***h and such comport with the ideals (and rules) of TheHighRoad, please:

http://www.thehighroad.org/code-of-conduct.html

[Missashot]

Well, I usually hate to see these threads started here. It usually ends up with a whole lot of female bashing. :fire: (BTW, not all of us are anti gun and only fit to cook supper and raise babies)
This one was a little milder. :D Thanks all. :p
Bottom line is you have to decide for yourself if this girl is right for you and how far you are willing to go to keep the relationship going. If I were in your shoes, I would as several othere suggested, try taking her to the range. Hopefully that will work for you. No matter what she decides she wants, she needs to start thinking for herself and quit relying on what friends tell her. Good luck

[Darth Ruger]

...try taking her to the range.
In this case, I don't think educating her about guns is the issue, or would solve the greater underlying issue. As I mentioned earlier, they aren't even married yet and she already has control of his car hobby. She hasn't banned his car hobby, but he's let her have control of how much he can do.

This should have raised a red flag a long time ago, even before the subject of guns came up. Even if she ends up liking guns and shooting, her nature and attitude towards this relationship is a strong indicator that she will make him miserable in the long run. I've been in that sort of relationship before, I know what it's like. I justified and defended it for the longest time, until I just couldn't take it anymore and I finally had to face the truth. Ending it was the best decision I ever made. Thank God I came to my senses before we got married or she got pregnant.

[artherd]

She puts a lot of value in the opinions of others (except me).

RUN.

[akodo]

reasonable people can disagree on issues. Sometimes this is because no one has all the facts, or sometimes because there is an emotional undercurrent beyond the logical facts. However, reasonable people can comprimise.

she may never like guns or want to go shooting with you, BUT she should allow you to keep your firearms provided they are stored safely and securely, and should at least listen while you lay down the basics of safty (no finger on trigger, treat it like it is loaded, watch the muzzle).

If she cannot agree to such a scheme, then yes, it truely is about controlling YOU, or she is truely off the emotional deep end to the extend that she would fake an incident to get the cops to take your guns and prevent you from future ownership 'for your own good'

[Andrew Rothman]

Thinking back, I've never seen a thread like this where the guy comes back and says, "Wow -- you guys were right, so I dumped her."


Matt ~

http://www.thefiringline.com/forums...ead.php?t=54943

pax

Well, in my defense, I've never seen that thread. :D

And you could have saved me some reading and told me that the punch line was in post #92... :p

Anyway, that's clearly the proverbial exception that proves the rule. :neener:

So, silverbird, it's been a couple days; how did the day of shooting go?

[USPCompact45]

In a relationship, the two partners have to yield to one another or support each other in order for the relationship to work. Having that said, maybe you should tell her with your enthusiasm that you have with firearms like it's a new hobby. Just be very responsible with it. Maybe she could support your new hobby. You mentioned that she is anti-gun, do you remember a time where if you and her were together where a firearm would have made you more secure? Support her likings and in return, she should support yours if it's appropiate. It really does takes some time. Mention the events after Katrina.

I was in a situation similar to yours where my partner hated firearms because of what they represent (crime, bad guys, cops). It's a different matter because anything can happen. A firearm is an investment if used correctly and with judgement. Just don't go acting around like you're macho and arrogant with a gun which I'm sure you won't.

[Stauble]

Youve got to stand for SOMETHING or youll fall for ANYTHING


maybe a bit simplistic or old fashion but think those words still mean something

[Darth Ruger]

Silverbird,
it's been a week since we heard from you. You said you were taking her shooting a week ago. How did it go? Should we assume your disappearance since then means it didn't go well? If it went well, I'd think you'd be here telling everyone the good news... :confused:

[Working Man]

I heard it put very well in some movie, I think...

In a world where no one stands for anything, I guess I'll stand for myself.

[haole_boySS]

Well, i'm the buddy with property in VA that Silverbird and his girl went shooting with.

It was kinda weird. She did actually shoot a couple of the hand guns that we had but she made me stand behind her and have at least one of my hands on the gun with her. I went over all the basic safety things and got her to squeeze off a few rounds etc... but I saw that she was closing her eyes every time the gun fired.
In a nutshell, she is terrified of handguns. She got her own views or someone put in her head that the only use for handguns are for killing people. She can't get that out of her head and pretty much refuses to talk about why she feels that way.
Funny part is that its only the handguns that she is afraid of. We set her up with my 10/22 and she loved it. Probably shot 70-80 rds. She was shooting at about 50 yds and the scope was set for 100. She was getting the hang of adjusting her sight to compensate for the shorter distance.
Anyway, Silverbird told me that she probably hates the handguns more now then she did before. Said it was an interesting drive home. I would not want to be in his shoes. I also hope she doesnt make him choose. :confused:
I really believe that if she would just talk about the fear I could turn her around. Who knows, she might want to shoot rifles all the time and become a marks-woman. We can only hope right?

Andy

[idakfan]

I'd drop your girlfriend like a hot rock.

I dated a few girls before I found the perfect match and let me tell you this, the first thing my wife said when she came over to my place and saw my .40cal laying on my bed was (nonchalantly), "cool is that a 9mm?"

Her Dad took her shooting when she was young.

[Rufus Pisanus]

aaronrkelly, I agree that "nuts" help... When I first met the woman who is now my wife we were doing a lot of outdoor activities and she seemed interested in firearms too. She came to the range with me a couple of times and tried handguns and 22 rifles. Then, we got married and she started putting pressure on me to sell all my firearms. I said no but I sold some to show that I would try to limit the total number. Big mistake! that built up the expectation that I would get rid of everything...

In any case I am now fighting back and the number is up again. She is not really antigun just afraid that our kids will find them and hurt themselves. Obviously one can take measures to prevent that. I think New Orleans helped in the battle. My next goal is a handgun safe in the night stand. The following battle will be the minimum age to bring the kids shooting.

[OEF_VET]

I haven't read all of the response here, but I have just one question:

Why is there even a question?

From this moment on, when you refer to her, it should be as "the anti, formerly known as a girlfriend." She needs to be shown the door rather quickly. If her g/f's opinions on the matter are more important than your opinions/feelings, there's a problem here, and it's only going to get worse. Believe me, I know these things.

Whenever you do the slightest thing that gets her nose out of joint, she's going to tell these exact same friends, and they're going to expend a great deal of time and effort to explain to her just how unworthy you are of her love and affection. You don't think she's going to look them in the eyes and tell them how wrong they are, do you? She's going to agree with them and continue thinking about what they said for days on end. Then, she's going to stay mad at you for a longer amount of time than she would have if she hadn't had those same friends. In the end, you're the one who's going to pay the price. It doesn't matter if you leave the toilet seat down ("What an inconsiderate jerk!") or choose to watch a football game, rather than go to an art exhibit with her ("Oh, he can't take some time out of his busy life to spend some with you." - never mind the fact that you both work 40+ hours a week and just spent the wekend prior shopping for supplies so she could build a scrapbook about "The Adventures of Willy the Wonder Cat", who's been dead for 10 years.)

But, alas, it's your life and you're the one who's got to live with your decisions. Just remember, folks tried to warn you. So, when she's got you by the sac, leading you around, making you carry her shopping bags so that her hands are free to hold her cell phone (which she's using to ask her g/f's about some shoe/skirt/shirt combo), and you pass the sporting goods store with the 50% off ammo sale, remember, you could have been a free man, rather than a subject.

[GAMALOT]

HB SS, Nice of you to do the right thing and give it a chance. My Compliments!
I have no idea what handguns you had her shooting but think a nice .22 revolver or SA would have been the best choice rather then to hand her a cannon.
If you ever tried to gun train a dog it would be easy to see how just the loud sound and recoil could be the end if not done properly.
I do think there is alot more at issue here then hand guns but thats your buddies problem.
I think my first few posts in this thread were a bit off color or could have been misconstrued as woman bashing. They certainly were not meant to be that. I don't have much tolerance for wimps, male or female!
My GF and now Wife never held a gun before she met me but she also had no preconceived dislike of them. She loves shooting both my 6" L frame .357 and my 10" Wildey .475 Mag. She does not like any of my Glock .40s but loves my PT 100 Tourus .40. Her absolute favorite is a SS S&W .22 and I think it is a model 617 but she calls it her gun and would shoot it all day long.
Hope your buddy can bring her around or send her packing. There is alot of fun to be had when both are on the same page and can enjoy the shooting sports. We often take a walk in the woods and bet each other who can or can't hit certain objects. She is beginning to get the best of me as my eyes are slowly but surely failing as I age. I guess I have to change what we usually bet :D
Gary

[torpid]

Well, i'm the buddy with property in VA that Silverbird and his girl went shooting with...

..Anyway, Silverbird told me that she probably hates the handguns more now then she did before. Said it was an interesting drive home. I would not want to be in his shoes. I also hope she doesnt make him choose.

Well, be sure to tell us how much you paid when he eventually sells his guns to you.

:D

[Darth Ruger]

I think the best gun to have her shoot would have been a .22, but even so...

Sounds to me like there's something else going on with her besides just the typical anti-gun brainwashing from the media and her friends. Even if the recoil was a bit unnerving for her, after a few shots she should have relaxed when she realized it wasn't going to hurt her. But now she hates handguns even more?

Then she shoots a rifle and has a great time, gets the hang of it and gets her scope zeroed... That doesn't make sense. Those aren't the reactions of someone who just hates guns. The difference in the two reactions are just too completely opposite to make any sense.

Sounds to me like she might have experienced some sort of incident, maybe years ago, that she hasn't talked about that ingrained a real fear (maybe even on the level of a phobia) of handguns in particular. It just doesn't add up otherwise.

[Sam]

Get a new one. She's bad broodstock. Defective mentally. Too many good wonem out there to wast time on a defective.

Sam

[haole_boySS]

Gamalot and Darth...

I first gave her my H&R 9 shot .22. I wasn't going to start her with my 1911 ;) She seemed fine with that so we moved up to Silverbirds Ruger 9mm. He made the mistake of telling her that if she didnt hold it right it could kick back and hit her in the forehead. I assured her that it would NOT do that but she insisted that I have my hand on hers. Again, she was so scared she kept shutting her eyes when she pulled the trigger. She did this also on the 10/22 then realized that if she kept her eyes open, she could see what she was hitting thru the scope. Thats when she started getting into it.

Darth, like you said....I agree totally that its really strange that she like the rifle but is so shut off to the handguns. I can't stress how much I would like to know what her "exact" issue is with the handguns. I wouldn't be surprised if there was some kind of "incident" earlyier in her life.

Andy

[GAMALOT]

Agreed Darth R! I've been thinking along the same lines with this one.
There could deffinately be a skeleton in the closet we and he knows not of.
A gun is a gun and to be OK with long ones and not with short ones does not add up.
I could see it if she says she does not like shooting hand guns but enjoys the rifle. The part where she is absolutely anti hand gun is a few degrees off.
The part where she puts more faith in what others have to say then what he says is way off!
Very strange indeed but not unheard of. We have a sister who we all agree must have been brought up in a different family or born on another planet.
Ofcourse, being brought up around me and my brothers might have a little to do with it. :what:
Being the youngest of four and the rule was No HITTING or rough housing with your sister. I am sure we did find other means of torture along the way :D
GO FIGURE!
Gary

[SelfSufficientLiving.com]

If she doesnt like guns there are probably some other major differences in political views also. My suggestion is to sit down with her and have a serious discussion about your beliefs. It may not be worth you time to continue the relationship.

[1911 guy]

It costs nothing to replace a girlfriend, you're not married, so no commitment. If you go temporarily brain dead and get rid of some firearms, that will cost you plenty. As several of the other posters here have said, this is just an indicator of some value differences between you two. Get out while you can. The guns themselves are not the problem, the problem is ideological and likely has no palateable solution.

[idakfan]

OEF VET

Wow great post! :what: :D

[Barbara]

Find yourself a nice pro-gun gal. We're all very sweet!


:D

Hehehehe...

[GunGoBoom]

Me want one...me want one. (like "Babo"). :D

[GAMALOT]

I hope it all works out for you both.
Gary

[ArmyCop]

Dinner in a questionable neighborhood late at night.
My wife had been poking jabs calling me a gun nut till I took her out to eat at night in such neighborhood. When some of the other customers walked in and looked around she asked me if I had my gun.

PS: This place wasn't really bad - to me anyways but made her nervious enough to appreciate my being prepaired.
She has no problems about it (my guns) anymore.

[Barbara]

Sometimes we're sarcastic, too. :D

[PX15]

I've been married for almost 38 years.

Before marriage I observed that if you entered into matrimony thinking you are going to CHANGE the things that you didn't like about your wife to be you were just fooling yourself. No more than she could change the things she didn't like about you.

Some things are deal breakers. I have been brought up and had firearms since I was 12. I had them when I met my wife to be, and If she had said what she was or was NOT going to allow after our marriage, there wouldn't have been a marriage.

This is going to really get me some heat I think, but the absolute truth of a marriage is just this:

SOMEBODY IS GOING TO BE THE ALPHA MALE IN THE HOUSE..... If you choose to relinquish testicle control of that position, that's your problem.. And IT WILL be a problem. Most women do not want to be the "man" in the home. They want, expect, and need YOU to be that person. They will try you at different times, just as a 2nd male dog would try the Alpha. But, they don't want to win, they just need reassurance someone is in control.

I love my wife with all my heart. I try to keep a 50/50 relationship in all aspects of our marriage. BUT, when the chips are down, I make the hard decisions. I don't mean I'm better, smarter, whatever, than my wife, but I AM the dominant personality in our home.

You simply MUST make all of this clear before the "I do's", or you will forever regret it. You will be entering into a marriage that is generally either doomed to fail, or guaranteed to emasculate you.. Either option sucks.

I have no problem with a wife that might want the firearms kept in a "safe" fashion, because of small children, whatever. But in today's society you need to have the potential to protect yourself, and your loved ones, and you need to have access to a firearm for that to be a reality.

Get it worked out, or you will be facing a crappy, short duration marriage, or a crappy, long duration nightmare where you have to sit to pee......

Just my old fart opinion.. Dissenting opinions welcomed, and cheerfully ignored.

Best Wishes,
JP :D

[GAMALOT]

Well PX15, I certainly can't see where you will get any heat over speaking the truth. Well said and this is the way it works around my house. I get to be the Boss when a Boss is needed. 99.9% of the time this never comes into play but my wife has told me many times," I am so glad we did it your way" or went with your gutt feeling on that one.
She could care less about guns, one way or the other but she has been well trained on every gun WE own, posesses a concealed carry permit and all guns are dual registered in the event one of us goes.
She loves Venison and I love to hunt large racks. Many years went by when I did not see a trophy and she did not get venison. Her decision was to take the hunters safety course and get her own tag and get her own venison.
She is not fond of killing anything but she does understand all the meat we eat was once alive and she got over it. We have not had a year since when there was not venison in our freezer. Now for the best part. If you find a woman who goes out and gets her own deer and then cooks it the way she likes it you are sure to end up enjoying a great meal. I never really cared for it until she learned how to hunt and then really learned how to cook it best.
Before she hunted, she never put alot of effort into the preparation of the meal and hence, I never enjoyed tough venison. Now, she has it down to a science, knows exactly how to cook each cut of the meat and is as proud as a peacock when she wipps up a special meal from the 5 pointer she shot.
Life is good!
Gary

[ajax]

Leave her and find one of those armed fish in the sea :evil:

[saltforkgunman]

do not get this girl pregnant. :uhoh:

[Barbara]

I'll never comprehend why a person would be willing to give up their right to self-determination.

[nfl1990]

If you decide to marry her despite all this wonderful advice, could you contact me about the 1911, and the rifle.

[Hobie]

I didn't read the other responses.

Son, you need a new girlfriend. This girl not only is disrespectful she's stupid. These two conditions are not likely to change. You should run, not walk, trot, or slip away.

On the other hand. I have a daughter, age 29, who was brought up with hunters and shooters and realizes that reason is an acceptable way of life. ;) Seriously, my point is that reasonable women are out there. They understand reality, they reason (think logically) and don't simply react to every one of life's hardships AND they are flexible enough to adapt to changing conditions. They also are respectful of the feelings, interests, beliefs and thoughts of those that they "love". Your GF no more loves you than Hillary loves George.

[eclipse1]

im for the new girlfriend thing

[GI Jane]

RUN! :banghead:

[Kjervin]

Silverbird,
I don't claim to know a lot about women and most of what I do know is wrong, but I have been folowing your thread and here is what I would do. I think it would be easier to get a new girlfriend, but the easy road is not always the best road (although sometimes it is). If you truly care about the girl, and it sounds like you do, I might make the effort to try and work through the problem (no duh, right). The first thing I would do is back off the conversion attempts and give her some time to internalize the experience of shooting with you guys. Second, I would determine if I had enough funs to protect the home front for now. Third, when I felt I needed/ wanted a new gun, I would say, " I'm thinking of geting a ..., how do you feel about that?" and let her vent her spleen about it. Do not answer her concerns, just listen. Sometimes, if you let someone talk long enough, they will tell you what the real issue is. when she is done, say something along the lines of, " I guess you've given me something to think about" and if she asks you if you are still thinking about buyingthe gun tell her you don't know, you need to think about what she said. Think about what she said for a couple of days. Likely what she said is not the real issue, especially if the real issue is a painful one, it is a test to see if she can make you bend without having to deal with the painful truth. If you give in or else treat her like her opinion doesn't matter, you likely will never know what the real reason is. Come back and let her know that you are still wanting to get the gun, but you acknowledge that she has some strong feelings against it. Tell her you don't want to hurt her (you don't) and you need to understand why she feels that way. At this point understanding her should be more important then getting her approval to get the gun, so respond accordingly. If she trusts you enough to tell you the bottom line reason, you know what you are dealing with. Maybe she's afraid of you getting hurt (with cars and guns), maybe someone put a gun in her face, maybe she had a ND as a child, etc. I f you care about her, put the gun purchases on hold and help her past it (not as a ploy to get more guns, but because you don't want her walking around scarred). If her reason is that she is drinking the anti's Koolaid, better you know now. In other words, if you love her, then be loving to her (note: that does not include being a doormat) and you do that by finding out what is troubling her and working through that together. If you can do that, maybe she's the one for you. If you can't work out problems together (she doesn't trust you enoughto share her true feelings, you can't listen to her without trying to counter every statement she shares) " 'til death do us part" will seem like an awfully long time!

KJ

ps - reread the first sentence of my post! :neener:

[Otherguy Overby]

I've followed this whole thread. :eek:

Henceforth, Otherguy's opinion, venture forth, but do not abandon all hope.
---

Here's the deal:

The mating game is work.
The mating game works much better when one maintains objectivity.
If you lose objectivity... you lose.

Wanna meet a good mate? Work for it. Take extension courses, adult ed, just do something. The people who tell you to be patient and wait, "someone will come along," "it will happen" may well be in unsatisfactory relationships and in denial. You, most likely, will NOT find a good mate through friends (waiting). And, you most certainly won't sitting on your couch.

Be an interviewer, not an interviewee.

The absolute best strategy is to teach something. I taught adult ed for a number of years... :) Can't do that? Become an NRA Instructor. Women are now interested in self defense and guns.

Anyway, get of your butt, get out there, work at it and you just might find a treasure. You certainly won't, if you don't.

Ditch the bit*!

[longeyes]

It's never about guns, it's about emotionalism, victimhood, and control. Caveat emptor.

[nfl1990]

The best part about becoming an NRA instructor is that you KNOW that the people there aren't antis.

[saltforkgunman]

Does anybody know how silverbirds situation turned out?

[Pistolera]

I'm new here and saw there wasn't a feminine perspective offered here and thought I'd chime in.

My dad was career law enforcement, though he kept us away from firearms and I grew up to be afraid of them as a result of no information and the influence of living in the liberal nest that is California. So, I unerstand your GF's LE relatives perfectly. I am certain that is is her FEAR that causes her sister/friends to tell her she should stay away from guns, or that only LEO should have them.

No longer afraid of guns, I'm fast becoming an advocate for them. I made the decision on my own to buy and learn to use a pistol, it wasn't a man's request. It was a home defense decision. But - lol - after my first class I was so hooked that I went through 20,000 rounds in my 1911 the first year and am on my second barrel, three different training facilities, became an NRA instructor, and compete in IDPA and IPSC.

Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that I discovered how FUN it was. And, one of my favorite pastimes is talking guns to women who don't know about guns. I try to educate about the 2A freedom issues and the combat mindset - the REALITY of our world - at least getting them to think about putting locking doorknobs on their bedroom doors in case they need to retreat to safety from attackers, keeping a phone in that room, keeping pepperspray in their bedstand and in their purses, and having a plan for personal safety in the event of a home invasion - and in just walking down the street. Women who refuse to prepare for self-protection are low-hanging fruit, IMAO, and I point that out.

Most women are intimidated by competitive environments with men. This is a real stop for getting them out shooting. (I got over that on a skydiving 4-way team,playing with 'big boys') So, the advice given here to join a gun club and get her out meeting people, especially other gals, is a very good tip.

But, you have a bigger issue here: Her refusal to 'allow you' to possess and enjoy guns.

My take is there are two issues in play here. One is that she is afraid of guns. The other is she is attempting to set a precedent with you that she can control your behavior based on her choices. Am I warm? ;)

I agree wholeheartedly with most of the opinions posted here.. and one in particular hits home for me...... ask yourself, man: "Do I want this woman raising my children?" Because, a GF is for fun (supposed to be) but there comes a point when a 'man' and 'woman' marry and make a home, becoming devoted to that and each other.

I venture to say that what would make you happy is to have a woman who at least recognizes that guns are something you love - and respects your choices.... maybe even being willing to give it a try for herself.

A woman who insists on controlling your interest in guns is really more interested in controlling all aspects of you. And, the funny thing is women like that never end up respecting the men they've so systematically emasculated! So, as was stated above, dude - think about tossing her back in the pond if she doesn't show a willingness to accept who you are.

Do not cheat yourself. Choose an appropriate companion.

[Bruce333]

.....

[White Horseradish]

I actually read the whole thing. I only have one thing to say:

Listen to Pax. This is not about guns.

[Oleg Volk]

I concur with this being a control issue. Since it isn't negotiable for you, might as well let her know that you would no more budge on it than she would on some utterly outlandish request from you (pick some fetish concept that she would definitely dislike as the illustration.) Be polite, even-tempered but firm.

[mcooper]

It sounds like she isn't going to change her mind. DO you really want to marry an irrational person? How long will that last...and will it be worth it?

I say go ahead and kick her to the curb. You'll be doing yourself a favor in the long run.

[johnny blaze]

PISTOLERA - Welcome aboard.
You make some very interesting points. I agree with you. A person needs to find someone that is compatable. If not, life can be very bad.
I am glad to see that you are training women on self defense. It sounds like you are doing it the right way. :D

[JesseJames]

If you are a firearms enthusiast and she is rabidly anti-gun, IT WILL NEVER WORK.

GO YOUR SEPARATE WAYS. PLEASE TAKE THIS ADVICE.

[FLA2760]

Dude she IS NOT YOUR WIFE! What is this she dosen't understand my muscle car hobby but she "lets it go"! ***. I am on my second marriage 16 years and counting. We disagree on some things but not on the major stuff that is important to each of us. I bought an 03 Mach 1 when they came out; the wife thought it was a bit much but never gave me grief about it. As far as guns go I am a life member of NRA and a firm believer in civilian ownership of firearms. I was an LEO for 10 years in NYC and you know what; that experience validated my ideas on civilian CCW. I saw a lot and I often thought that if the innocent sheep had been armed it would have been the BGs dead instead. I can tell you from experience that there were plenty of times that we were delayed to serious "jobs" by traffic and other factors. The response times varied greatly. If your GF thinks when it hits the fan that 911 will rescue her...think again.

[Stinkyshoe]

I've got a few things to say. It sounds to me like you have rushed into a relationship(just being honest, most of us have done it) and now the gun is an after thought. To me, the gun issue, along with the sex issue and basic understanding of goals for life should be worked out in the 'friendship stage'. I believe the dating stage is a time to be somewhat picky. If she is attempting to control you over something you like and value, and wouldn't consider your reasoning for gun ownership, you should consider a different woman. I know it is hard to do. You may really like everything else about her. To me however, it is important that the woman I am seeing values shooting and marksmanship. I want to raise children who will be competant shooters, hunters and rifleman. I want to build a legacy in my children, and raise them with the same values that I have.
Hope it works out for your friend.
Ss

[Dave Reese]

Life's too short to live with a castrating harpy. Run.

Married for 7+ years to a princess whose only complaint about guns is that I talk about 'em too much, to the exclusion of more mutually interesting topics. She doesn't care to shoot nor carry a pistol, but is learning her way around a blade at my request for the protection of our two sons. Oldest boy (nearly 3 yrs) shows an interest in firearms, can point to the "muzzle" and the "trigger," and knows that if he (God forbid) ever saw one of the guns unattended, he should "stop, don't touch, and tell Mom." Knows the S&W by sight ("That's the Smith, right?") but prefers to look at the Glock. Wife is fine with all this, believes with me that life will be more dangerous for our sons than it was for us, and wants us to raise strong, godly men who know how to fight.

As regards your situation: suck it up, get a pair, and be a man, for cryin' out loud. Men don't ask for--or wait for--permission to do what needs to be done to take care of their own. Women who don't understand or respect this fact aren't worth being with.

But when you find one that does . . . :cool:

[bogie]

Guys, this is SO last year...

And there's nothing more fun than watching the faces of a buncha crusty ol' retarred jarheads after they've had their butts whupped by an 18 year old girl in a CMP match...

[kikr]

Dump her. If she gets in a "heated rage" over your owning a gun, it wont be long till she's trying to control everything else too. A little disagreement is a good thing, but from what your saying your going to find yourself manipulated to death. Dude women are evil, at least find one that is not going to go into a heated rage over a disagreement.

[Jmurman]

9 pages of post! wow.

Ok, I'll throw my .002 in.

When my wife and I started dating we were complete opposites regarding the guns/hunting issue. My wife was a card carrying member of PETA and I with the NRA.

We made a deal, guns for shooting sports and I would give up hunting. Fair trade in my mind. After we had our first child, guns became an issue of self protection and she started leaning towards a real acceptance of this. Now my wife is cool with my hobby and feels safe that I do take it seriously.

I would recommend to you this, if you feel strongly about guns and shooting sports, then stand your ground and make it an issue...a BIG "deal breaker" issue. You want to have your ground work laid out BEFORE you commit to a life long relationship.

Good luck.

[RioShooter]

I can't add anything that hasn't already been said. But I wanted to add my vote.

Dump Her!!!!!

[Justin]

Bogie nailed it.

This thread is so last year.