Mall Ninja


March 27, 2003, 11:17 PM
What's the deal with "Mall Ninjas"? I've heard the term used so many times on TFL and THR, but I don't know what it means. Can anyone explain it to me?

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March 27, 2003, 11:23 PM

check that should have your answer :)

March 27, 2003, 11:30 PM
And here's some more at TFL.
Read it and laugh 'till you cry

"If Plan A is taking .308 rounds to the back, I'd suggest a Plan B."

March 27, 2003, 11:31 PM
My brain is not working at full capacity because the ATF limited it to only 10,000,000 cells (I originally had a high capacity assault brain) , so I don't get it.

Greg L
March 27, 2003, 11:36 PM
Perhaps this will help:

"If Plan A is taking .308 rounds to the back, I'd suggest a Plan B."

(edit - sorry Flatfender, my favorite too :D )

March 27, 2003, 11:37 PM
Wannabe cops, dellusional, make up stuff, unrealisic, groupies of LEO tactics, magazines and gear.

The reason I haven't been to a mall in , gee, can't recall...keeps me away...
They are that fearless and ferocious. :D

March 27, 2003, 11:39 PM
Oh, ok. I get it. Cool! The assault brain ban expired!

March 27, 2003, 11:44 PM
In a nutshell...(heavy on the nut)

a LEO/SWAT/SEAL/MILITARY/NINJA/SECRETSERVICE wanna-be that protects your local mall. Complete with "boots that allow him to walk up walls" and has a "tactical golf cart" and automatic weapons.

It started, I believe, with his question about duct taping extra bulletproof metal plates to his back where his kevlar vest didn't cover. :D

March 27, 2003, 11:51 PM
The start of it all was on Glock Talk, but here the original first thread

Credits and Kudos to "DISPENSER 4 HIRE" for the "If Plan A is taking .308 rounds to the back, I'd suggest a Plan B." quote. :p

March 27, 2003, 11:52 PM
after following all the threads, I have to say that I understand and have no idea, what the hell is going on here.

And I like it.

March 28, 2003, 12:54 AM
OMG!! I wish I had been around to participate on those threads!


March 28, 2003, 01:42 AM
Click on this link if you want to see our very own Tactical Poser Skunkabilly in action..:D

March 28, 2003, 04:57 PM
lol ya i get it now i had been on skunky's site before and seen that.

March 28, 2003, 05:46 PM
There's hours of entertainment in the archives. :p

March 28, 2003, 10:17 PM
OMG that was too funny! thanks for adding some more words to my vocabulary :)

March 29, 2003, 12:30 AM
Just think Tackleberry from the first Police Academy movie. :D

March 29, 2003, 11:44 AM
We don't have mall ninjas or other tactical security guards around
here Maybe they are so stealthy I just don't see them.

Anyone wearing tactical gear down here will die of heat stroke 8 months out of the year.

We have mall security guards but they are like the bank guard
in Mayberry. If they aren't 95 years old and 90 pounds then they
are so portly that they cannot hear the radio clipped to their belt
because its engulfed in a flab roll.

Let me put it this way..some of these guys don't have a problem with weapon retention.....

If anyone has some pics of mall ninjas I would like to see a couple.

Mike Irwin
March 29, 2003, 12:27 PM
I always liked the concept of duct taping trauma plates to your chest...

March 29, 2003, 12:33 PM
What I want to know is, how do you walk up walls when you are weighed down with all those trauma plates? :scrutiny:

March 29, 2003, 12:55 PM
Here ya' go. OBTW, this mall ninja :rolleyes: is a member of this board.

March 29, 2003, 04:56 PM
Yeah, that's Carbon_15, or Jason Weaver, i think. (If that is his real identity:scrutiny: )

March 29, 2003, 05:29 PM
There's a reason Mall Ninjas hang out at the Mall instead of the shooting range, and it isn't the Food Court. If they could shoot, they'd be at the range.:rolleyes:

April 12, 2003, 09:19 PM
Yeah, that's Carbon_15, or Jason Weaver, i think. (If that is his real identity)

Ok....why did you go and do that? Now you have to be delt with:neener:

April 12, 2003, 09:49 PM
Just to give DISPENSER 4 HIRE the proper quote (you need the 'good luck' on the end there):

"If plan A is for you to take multiple rounds of .308 in your back, I would come up with a plan B. Good luck."

April 12, 2003, 11:23 PM
its funny, in the last two weeks i went to two different malls up here, one has enough armed security wearing more tactical gear than the average SWAT team, in addition to having a police substation right in the mall itself, and the other has two guys walking around wearing blue slacks, white shirt, neon green vest with "security" printed on the back, a radio and flashlight on the belt, and wearing a goofy looking hat.

soon i'll take some pictures to share with everyone else.

April 13, 2003, 09:12 AM
My first job, outside of working at my grandparents grocery store(they were immagrants and it was the law)was working at a Baskins and Bobbins in a strip mall.That was the summer I gained 25lbs.....anyway,they had 2 security guys(actually the only thing we needed security for was THEM)anyway,"Andy and Barney" were cop wannabes.They patrolled the mall like it was Stalag 13...."nobody better use a skateboard on my watch!"
These guys always stopped in for free ice cream and I gave it to them in the beginning because they had uniforms and nightsticks and badges.So one day they come in and Andy(the older guys)has a gun he wants to show I'd been around guns my whole life and shot almost every weekend w/ my Dad.So he shows me this's a couldn't tell if you didn't know about guns,but it was not real.Then he says"I got a silencer too."He takes out this little movie type silencer and screws INTO the barrel!So I go"how's the bullet gonna come out the end?"He gets real mad and starts going nuts,then he points it at me!I didn't know whether to laugh or call the REAL cops.His buddy(Barney) says "let's get outta here".
So I tell my Dad about the whole thing and HE goes ape#@*&.He says he going down to the mall and stick the fake gun up the guys a$$.
My mom talked him out of it.But He did go to school w/ some local cops in town,and he made a few calls.A few days later there was a new mall cop in town.He was an old stick ,no fake gun,just 6'5" and built like a fridge.
There were always rumors that Andy and Barney had pulled a gun on other kids and made threats.Or even beat up some kids and that's why they dissapeared....but I think my Dad had something to do w/ it.(I always wondered if Andy ever got his fake gun rectal exam.My dad says no to this day,but he always smiles a little every time...;)

April 13, 2003, 01:30 PM
Keep in mind, though, that not all mall security are Rambo wannabes. Some know that their authority and job risk is minimal and don't go overboard with it. Some are even, as mentioned, retired or moonlighting police.

April 13, 2003, 01:44 PM
I haven't really noticed any mall ninjas around here. Of course, I avoid the mall like the plague. The movie theaters have security, but they're either CPD or Richland County SD, not private security.

April 13, 2003, 02:18 PM
Funny story, Tony. And very much in line with the mall ninja theme! I grew up in Schenectady, what mall was this?

- Gabe

April 14, 2003, 02:25 AM
It was Deleware plaza in Delmar,Baskin and Robbins was where Breugers is now.This was early 80's.They prbably went out because their profits kind of slacked off that year:uhoh:

April 14, 2003, 02:26 PM
back when i was between jobs at about 1994 i took a job working the grave yard shift for pinkerton at a little company called Cisco Systems at their san jose site where they only had 2 buildings then.. ha ha ... anyway, i slept about half those shifts and drove the truck around to hang out with friends as i was on a radio and it was really close... anyway, i was young and dumb and shouldve bought that stock back then and sold at 82$ but some of the clowns i see at th emalls these days...

and anybody checked out some of the CHPs lately ? im only 28 and these kids with their shaved heads and oakleys and peachfuzz mustaches look like they should be home popping zits getting ready for the prom.. come on dude.. your AAA with a gun..

April 14, 2003, 03:20 PM
Yeah, there is definitely a recent tendency for cops, even small-town (or maybe especially...) cops to exhibit highly-tactical mall ninjaesque behavior... The shaved heads (sunburnt in summer...), the mirrored sunglasses, black gloves, and enough gear on the belt that they need (tactical) suspenders to hold it up...

April 14, 2003, 03:31 PM
What's a peachfuzz?

Like the toughguy package?

Skunkabilly Pre- and Post-Toughguy Package

April 14, 2003, 04:38 PM
That looks like Montel Williams' little brother.

April 15, 2003, 04:05 AM
When I walk around the mall, my first thought is... "What if someone has a 308 trained on my back??" Isn't that your first thought as well?

Also, I want a pair of those ninja walk climbing shoes... :D

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