The classic Pro-gun parable


March 28, 2003, 08:59 PM
Not so long ago and in a pasture too uncomfortably close to here, a
flock of sheep lived and grazed. They were protected by a dog, who
answered to the master, but despite his best efforts from time to time a
nearby pack of wolves would prey upon the flock.

One day a group of sheep, bolder than the rest, met to discuss
their dilemma. "Our dog is good, and vigilant, but he is one and the
wolves are many. The wolves he catches are not always killed, and the
master judges and releases many to prey again upon us, for no reason we
can understand. What can we do? We are sheep, but we do not wish to be
food, too!"

One sheep spoke up, saying "It is his teeth and claws that make the
wolf so terrible to us. It is his nature to prey, and he would find any
way to do it, but it is the tools he wields that make it possible. If we
had such teeth, we could fight back, and stop this savagery." The other
sheep clamored in agreement, and they went together to the old bones of
the dead wolves heaped in the corner of the pasture, and gathered fang
and claw and made them into weapons.

That night, when the wolves came, the newly armed sheep sprang up
with their weapons and struck at them, crying, "Begone! We are not
food!" and drove off the wolves, who were astonished. When did sheep
become so bold and so dangerous to wolves? When did sheep grow teeth? It
was unthinkable!

The next day, flush with victory and waving their weapons, they
approached the flock to pronounce their discovery. But as they drew
nigh,the flock huddled together and cried out, "Baaaaaaaadddd! Baaaaaddd

You have bad things! We are afraid! You are not sheep!"

The brave sheep stopped, amazed. "But we are your brethren!" they
cried. "We are still sheep, but we do not wish to be food. See, our new
teeth and claws protect us and have saved us from slaughter. They do not
make us into wolves, they make us equal to the wolves, and safe from
their viciousness!"

"Baaaaaaad!" cried the flock, "the things are bad and will pervert
you, and we fear them. You cannot bring them into the flock!" So the
armed sheep resolved to conceal their weapons, for although they had no
desire to panic the flock, they wished to remain in the fold. But they
would not return to those nights of terror, waiting for the wolves to

In time, the wolves attacked less often and sought easier prey, for
they had no stomach for fighting sheep who possessed tooth and claw even
as they did. Not knowing which sheep had fangs and which did not, they
came to leave sheep out of their diet almost completely except for the
occasional raid, from which more than one wolf did not return.

Then came the day when, as the flock grazed beside the stream, one
sheep’s weapon slipped from the folds of her fleece, and the flock cried
out in terror again, "Baaaaaad! You still possess these evil things! We
must ban you from our presence!"

And so they did. The great chief sheep and his council, encouraged
by the words of their advisors, placed signs and totems at the edges of
the pasture forbidding the presence of hidden weapons there. The armed
sheep protested before the council, saying, "It is our pasture, too, and
we have never harmed you! When can you say we have caused you hurt? It
is the wolves, not we, who prey upon you. We are still sheep, but we are
not food!" But the flock drowned them out with cries of "Baaaaaaddd! We
will not hear your clever words! You and your things are evil and will
harm us!"

Saddened by this rejection, the armed sheep moved off and spent
their days on the edges of the flock, trying from time to time to speak
with their brethren to convince them of the wisdom of having such teeth,
but meeting with little success. They found it hard to talk to those
who, upon hearing their words, would roll back their eyes and flee,
crying "Baaaaddd! Bad things!"

That night, the wolves happened upon the sheep’s totems and signs,
and said, "Truly, these sheep are fools! They have told us they have no
teeth! Brothers, let us feed!" And they set upon the flock, and horrible
was the carnage in the midst of the fold. The dog fought like a demon,
and often seemed to be in two places at once, but even he could not halt
the slaughter.

It was only when the other sheep arrived with their weapons that
the wolves fled, only to remain on the edge of the pasture and wait for
the next time they could prey, for if the sheep were so foolish once,
they would be so again. This they did, and do still.

In the morning, the armed sheep spoke to the flock, and said, "See?
If the wolves know you have no teeth, they will fall upon you. Why be
prey? To be a sheep does not mean to be food for wolves!" But the flock
cried out, more feebly for their voices were fewer, though with no less
terror, "Baaaaaaaad! These things are bad! If they were banished, the
wolves would not harm us! Baaaaaaad!"

So they resolved to retain their weapons, but to conceal them from
the flock; to endure their fear and loathing, and even to protect their
brethren if the need arose, until the day the flock learned to
understand that as long as there were wolves in the night, sheep would
need teeth to repel them.

They would still be sheep, but they would not be food!

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March 28, 2003, 09:50 PM
Neat story, and right on target!:D

Nice to have another new member from God's country!;)

March 28, 2003, 10:23 PM
Very cute. Did you write it?

March 29, 2003, 06:09 AM
I like that one Redfern :)

Say, isn't Redfern a character in Doonsberry? God's country indeed!

March 29, 2003, 08:13 AM
Very well done. I'm going to keep a copy of that handy.

March 29, 2003, 09:11 AM
Nice story. But, don't forget the crazy sheep who use their fangs to attack their own- and the cop sheeps who would be armed. :neener:

March 29, 2003, 09:19 AM
Very good. I remember seeing it some time back, and glad to see it again. Maybe some of the anti's could read it, and make them think just a bit.:uhoh:

March 29, 2003, 09:21 AM
An oldie but a goodie!

March 29, 2003, 10:32 AM
That's awesome!

March 29, 2003, 07:08 PM
To answer Braz's question about my log in name: I recently gave my son the book titled "Where the Redfern Grows". This book was written many years ago, and I had read it as a kid. It is a classic, also.

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