TheBluesMan
April 1, 2003, 10:21 PM
To: The Staff and Members of the Brady Center to Prevent Gun Violence
From: Sarah Brady
Date: 1 April 2003
Subject: Coming Clean
As many of you already know, I am rapidly nearing the end of my life. Years of smoking have taken their toll on my lungs, and my doctors now consider me terminal. The least I can do now, at the end of my life, is to confess my true feelings about the gun issue.
I am not now, nor have I ever been, against law-abiding citizens exercising their right to keep and bear arms. I'm sure this comes as a shock to most of you, but the truth is, many others at the top levels of the BCPGV feel the same way. I submit the following as proof.
** I began my crusade after my husband Jim was shot during the failed assassination attempt on President Ronald Reagan. Knowing that the best way to discredit the people who wanted to ban handguns was to make them admit their intent, I founded the National Council to Ban Handguns (NCBH). The NCBH's staff wasn't very successful at uniting the sheep, so as soon as I took over, we changed the name to Handgun Control Inc. (HCI). This allowed us to recruit more people who were more gullible to our "not so obvious" name.
** One of my first goals was to make gun control supporters look stupid. That's why HCI pushed federal lawmakers to pass a bill outlawing undetectable plastic and ceramic handguns which are able to slip through metal detectors. I was amazed that the dummies on Capitol Hill actually did it! I knew all along that there was no such thing as "undetectable handguns!" Those imbeciles banned something that doesn't even exist!
** In December of 1989, my good friend Dennis Henigan wrote a paper about the Second Amendment called, "The Right to Be Armed: A Constitutional Illusion." In it, he stated that, "the necessity of maintaining effective state militias is, by the language itself, the only concern of the Amendment, and the right to keep and bear arms exists only to the extent necessary to meet that concern." I'll admit that this one backfired. What I hoped would happen is that people would read this and say, "Yeah, that's right. The only reason we have guns is to defend our country. Where can I pick up my select-fire M16?" Unfortunately, the limousine liberals in Washington, D.C. understood "militia" to mean "the army." What a bunch of bozos! Everybody knows that the militia is comprised of "all the people." Oh well, I tried...
** Following that fiasco, HCI went on the warpath against "Cop Killer Bullets." We decided to focus on the "Black Talon" brand of handgun cartridges, knowing that they weren't any more "armor piercing" than any other jacketed handgun ammunition. But they had that scary name that would really rile up our members, so we made up a bunch of statistics to scare the bed-wetters, even though no Black Talon bullets were ever used to actually kill a police officer. We succeeded in getting them pulled from the market. Of course, we didn't bother with any full metal jacket rifle ammunition, which is able to pierce bulletproof vests more readily than *any* pistol cartridge of any caliber. Hey, fewer cops on the street means that I have a better chance to drive home after a few martinis and not get busted. Hahaha!
** The finest feather in our cap came in 1994 with the passage of the Brady Bill which outlawed certain features of certain semi-automatic long guns. Of course, we didn't go after anything important, just bayonet lugs, grenade launchers, pistol grips and flash suppressors. We knew that these would be the least missed features of any semi-automatic rifle. The best part of this law is that you can own a pre-ban or a post-ban firearm and both will perform exactly the same way. One pull of the trigger sends one bullet through the barrel. There is no functional difference between the two! Imagine how much worse this so-called "ban" could have been!
** Most recently, I hopped into bed with Andrew Cuomo, the former secretary of The Department of Housing and Urban Development under Clinton. What a weenie he is! He actually believes all the lies he spouts. Together, we got Smith & Wesson to sign an agreement that was so outrageous that I never thought they would actually do it. We basically made them commit Hara-kiri so we wouldn't have to get ourselves bloody. I knew that we would have to ruin one gun maker to make the others stronger, so we chose S&W because they were an American company owned by the Brits. This had a nice "three pointer" effect. It got S&W back into American hands, it showed other gun makers that they shouldn't "make a deal with the devil," and it got Cuomo a new job! You know what he's doing now? Parking cars at Kennedy Airport! Isn't that rich! Cars! Kennedy! Ha! Everyone but Mary Jo Kopechne gets a laugh out of that ironic twist.
Well, my friends, I guess that's about all for my little confession. It all seems so transparent to me; I can't believe nobody called my bluff long ago. As my life comes to a close, I can rest easy knowing that there are now more firearms in the hands of law-abiding citizens than there were back in 1981 when I first started on my crusade, that you can still buy bullets that will pierce a bulletproof vest at any K-Mart, that the Second Amendment has been studied more closely than ever before, and that the Right to Keep and Bear Arms will never be in jeopardy as long as people like me can bring so many idiots together under one umbrella called the Brady Center to Prevent Gun Violence.
Yours truly,
Sarah
Source: America's Voices. (http://www.americasvoices.org/archives2003/MillerDJ/MillerDJ_032903.htm)
From: Sarah Brady
Date: 1 April 2003
Subject: Coming Clean
As many of you already know, I am rapidly nearing the end of my life. Years of smoking have taken their toll on my lungs, and my doctors now consider me terminal. The least I can do now, at the end of my life, is to confess my true feelings about the gun issue.
I am not now, nor have I ever been, against law-abiding citizens exercising their right to keep and bear arms. I'm sure this comes as a shock to most of you, but the truth is, many others at the top levels of the BCPGV feel the same way. I submit the following as proof.
** I began my crusade after my husband Jim was shot during the failed assassination attempt on President Ronald Reagan. Knowing that the best way to discredit the people who wanted to ban handguns was to make them admit their intent, I founded the National Council to Ban Handguns (NCBH). The NCBH's staff wasn't very successful at uniting the sheep, so as soon as I took over, we changed the name to Handgun Control Inc. (HCI). This allowed us to recruit more people who were more gullible to our "not so obvious" name.
** One of my first goals was to make gun control supporters look stupid. That's why HCI pushed federal lawmakers to pass a bill outlawing undetectable plastic and ceramic handguns which are able to slip through metal detectors. I was amazed that the dummies on Capitol Hill actually did it! I knew all along that there was no such thing as "undetectable handguns!" Those imbeciles banned something that doesn't even exist!
** In December of 1989, my good friend Dennis Henigan wrote a paper about the Second Amendment called, "The Right to Be Armed: A Constitutional Illusion." In it, he stated that, "the necessity of maintaining effective state militias is, by the language itself, the only concern of the Amendment, and the right to keep and bear arms exists only to the extent necessary to meet that concern." I'll admit that this one backfired. What I hoped would happen is that people would read this and say, "Yeah, that's right. The only reason we have guns is to defend our country. Where can I pick up my select-fire M16?" Unfortunately, the limousine liberals in Washington, D.C. understood "militia" to mean "the army." What a bunch of bozos! Everybody knows that the militia is comprised of "all the people." Oh well, I tried...
** Following that fiasco, HCI went on the warpath against "Cop Killer Bullets." We decided to focus on the "Black Talon" brand of handgun cartridges, knowing that they weren't any more "armor piercing" than any other jacketed handgun ammunition. But they had that scary name that would really rile up our members, so we made up a bunch of statistics to scare the bed-wetters, even though no Black Talon bullets were ever used to actually kill a police officer. We succeeded in getting them pulled from the market. Of course, we didn't bother with any full metal jacket rifle ammunition, which is able to pierce bulletproof vests more readily than *any* pistol cartridge of any caliber. Hey, fewer cops on the street means that I have a better chance to drive home after a few martinis and not get busted. Hahaha!
** The finest feather in our cap came in 1994 with the passage of the Brady Bill which outlawed certain features of certain semi-automatic long guns. Of course, we didn't go after anything important, just bayonet lugs, grenade launchers, pistol grips and flash suppressors. We knew that these would be the least missed features of any semi-automatic rifle. The best part of this law is that you can own a pre-ban or a post-ban firearm and both will perform exactly the same way. One pull of the trigger sends one bullet through the barrel. There is no functional difference between the two! Imagine how much worse this so-called "ban" could have been!
** Most recently, I hopped into bed with Andrew Cuomo, the former secretary of The Department of Housing and Urban Development under Clinton. What a weenie he is! He actually believes all the lies he spouts. Together, we got Smith & Wesson to sign an agreement that was so outrageous that I never thought they would actually do it. We basically made them commit Hara-kiri so we wouldn't have to get ourselves bloody. I knew that we would have to ruin one gun maker to make the others stronger, so we chose S&W because they were an American company owned by the Brits. This had a nice "three pointer" effect. It got S&W back into American hands, it showed other gun makers that they shouldn't "make a deal with the devil," and it got Cuomo a new job! You know what he's doing now? Parking cars at Kennedy Airport! Isn't that rich! Cars! Kennedy! Ha! Everyone but Mary Jo Kopechne gets a laugh out of that ironic twist.
Well, my friends, I guess that's about all for my little confession. It all seems so transparent to me; I can't believe nobody called my bluff long ago. As my life comes to a close, I can rest easy knowing that there are now more firearms in the hands of law-abiding citizens than there were back in 1981 when I first started on my crusade, that you can still buy bullets that will pierce a bulletproof vest at any K-Mart, that the Second Amendment has been studied more closely than ever before, and that the Right to Keep and Bear Arms will never be in jeopardy as long as people like me can bring so many idiots together under one umbrella called the Brady Center to Prevent Gun Violence.
Yours truly,
Sarah
Source: America's Voices. (http://www.americasvoices.org/archives2003/MillerDJ/MillerDJ_032903.htm)