If Clint Eastwood did an Air Marshal movie...


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Manedwolf
December 13, 2005, 07:20 PM
Might be in poor taste, but I'd heard this on the radio the other day, and thought it was pretty sharp: :D

Clint: "Looks like you're riding in...coach."

Hijacker: "I have a bomb!"

Clint: *hammer cocking sound* "Looks like you're riding in...cargo."

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RnR
December 13, 2005, 08:55 PM
:rolleyes:

But I will admit... I think the concept has potential.

Janitor
December 13, 2005, 09:16 PM
Might be in poor taste
I don't get what you mean by that.
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FXR
December 13, 2005, 09:32 PM
If Clint did an Air Marshal movie, it would go thusly (Hollywood version):

Bad Guy threatens to blow up/commandeer aircraft.

Clint drops the hammer on his .44, blowing the Bad Guy out the side of the aircraft, causing a violent depressurization of the aircraft. Miscellaneous handbags and junk fly out the now gaping hole in the side of the aircraft, and the Annoying Guy (who nobody liked anyway) is sucked out the hole too. Innocent Mom and Child who were sitting next to the Annoying Guy are miraculously unscathed.

Panic ensues and everyone passes out due to lack of oxygen. Clint holds his breath. Turns a bit red in the face but manages to get to the cockpit, where the pilot and copilot are also passed out due to lack of oxygen and/or screen credit.

Clint lands the plane at nearest runway. Snags a complimentary whiskey from the galley before deplaning while everyone wakes up.

:D

Janitor
December 13, 2005, 09:43 PM
Nope. No good.

it needs zombies.
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afasano
December 13, 2005, 09:44 PM
If Clint did an Air Marshal movie, it would go thusly (Hollywood version):

Bad Guy threatens to blow up/commandeer aircraft.

Clint drops the hammer on his .44, blowing the Bad Guy out the side of the aircraft, causing a violent depressurization of the aircraft. Miscellaneous handbags and junk fly out the now gaping hole in the side of the aircraft, and the Annoying Guy (who nobody liked anyway) is sucked out the hole too. Innocent Mom and Child who were sitting next to the Annoying Guy are miraculously unscathed.

Panic ensues and everyone passes out due to lack of oxygen. Clint holds his breath. Turns a bit red in the face but manages to get to the cockpit, where the pilot and copilot are also passed out due to lack of oxygen and/or screen credit.

Clint lands the plane at nearest runway. Snags a complimentary whiskey from the galley before deplaning while everyone wakes up.

:D

I think Dean Martin beat you to it.

TexasRifleman
December 13, 2005, 09:47 PM
it needs zombies.
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Damn Right!

VirgilCaine
December 13, 2005, 10:39 PM
Nope. No good.

it needs zombies.
-

Clint Eastwood...and zombies! The perfect combination!

CleverName
December 14, 2005, 03:13 AM
If Clint did an Air Marshal movie, it would go thusly (Hollywood version):

Bad Guy threatens to blow up/commandeer aircraft.

Clint drops the hammer on his .44, blowing the Bad Guy out the side of the aircraft, causing a violent depressurization of the aircraft. Miscellaneous handbags and junk fly out the now gaping hole in the side of the aircraft, and the Annoying Guy (who nobody liked anyway) is sucked out the hole too. Innocent Mom and Child who were sitting next to the Annoying Guy are miraculously unscathed.

Panic ensues and everyone passes out due to lack of oxygen. Clint holds his breath. Turns a bit red in the face but manages to get to the cockpit, where the pilot and copilot are also passed out due to lack of oxygen and/or screen credit.

Clint lands the plane at nearest runway. Snags a complimentary whiskey from the galley before deplaning while everyone wakes up.

:D
And I would watch it.

A lot.

jtward01
December 14, 2005, 05:07 AM
If Clint did an Air Marshal movie, it would go thusly (Hollywood version):

Bad Guy threatens to blow up/commandeer aircraft.

Clint drops the hammer on his .44, blowing the Bad Guy out the side of the aircraft, causing a violent depressurization of the aircraft. Miscellaneous handbags and junk fly out the now gaping hole in the side of the aircraft, and the Annoying Guy (who nobody liked anyway) is sucked out the hole too. Innocent Mom and Child who were sitting next to the Annoying Guy are miraculously unscathed.

Panic ensues and everyone passes out due to lack of oxygen. Clint holds his breath. Turns a bit red in the face but manages to get to the cockpit, where the pilot and copilot are also passed out due to lack of oxygen and/or screen credit.

Clint lands the plane at nearest runway. Snags a complimentary whiskey from the galley before deplaning while everyone wakes up.

:D


Sounds more like a James Bond movie than a Clint flick.

dhoomonyou
December 14, 2005, 09:22 AM
In Magnum Force Clint poses as a Pilot, and shoots a Hijacker through the wall/partition of the cabin. Looked like a Smith & Wesson with a 4 inch barrel.
It was the gun he took off Hijacker #1, Caliber unknown.

Sleeping Dog
December 14, 2005, 09:55 AM
Ok, every passenger except the six zombies nod off from lack of oxygen.

Clint revives Sondra Locke, plops her in the pilot seat, and says "drive". When she says she can't fly a plane, he tosses her a binder and says "learn".

Then he goes back and as each zombie walks past the hole in the plane he blows them out of the fuselage with the .44. Except the last zombie. Before shooting him, he pulls a cheap cigar out of the zombie's shirt pocket.

Lighting the cigar is problematic, matches won't work in a decompressed fuselage with 400 mph winds, and TSA made Clint get rid of the Bic lighter, but it's Clint, so the cigar will get lit.

Regards.

Janitor
December 14, 2005, 09:57 AM
Ok, every passenger except the six zombies nod off from lack of oxygen.
Ok there. See? Now this has most my attention.

Clint revives Sondra Locke...
Mmmm - and there you just got the rest of it.
-

I'd buy the DVD for sure. Especially if Eastwood and Locke do a commentary.
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Werewolf
December 14, 2005, 12:07 PM
Clint Eastwood - old tough guy = good

Sondra Locke - burned out, ugly old hag = not good

Replace Locke with Alyssa Milano, Jennifer Love Hewitt or any other young or middle aged actress and you'll have a winner on your hands.

Texfire
December 14, 2005, 01:10 PM
Clint revives Sondra Locke...

Now more interesting would be seeing Clint revive Sondra's career... ;)

Tex

Sleeping Dog
December 14, 2005, 01:55 PM
burned out, ugly, old
I resemble that remark ...:D

Ukraine Train
December 14, 2005, 03:11 PM
How about Clint plays a zombie that doesn't need oxygen and saves the day?

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