I just thought this was funny...


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dasmi
December 14, 2005, 06:13 PM
http://www.bartcop.com/shoot-gov-looters.jpg

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migoi
December 14, 2005, 06:23 PM
A plane load of politicians crashed in a rather remote part of Montana. When the rescue team arrived a day later they found the plane wreckage but no bodies.

Soon they ran into a farmer. They asked if he had seen the plane crash.

He replied, "Sure did."

They asked, "Where are all the politicians?"

He said, "I buried them."

They further inquired, "They were all dead?"

He answered, "Some of them said they weren't but you know how politicians lie."

migoi

mbs357
December 14, 2005, 06:31 PM
I've heard a similar.
A group of ACLU trial lawyers were in route to a meeting when their bus flipped over on a turn into a construction site.
When the marshall arrived he found a bulldozer operator in the last stages of burrying the bus.
The marshall says to the driver, "Weren't any of them alive?"
The driver replies, "Some of them says they was, but you know how them som bishes can lie."

scott5
December 15, 2005, 01:28 AM
Hello all,
My dad told me this one!:D
I died just before former pres Bill Clinton.

On my way up the stairway to the Pearly Gates I get winded and slow down, and behind me coming up at a steady pace is Bill Clinton.
Being the nice guy that he is he offers me a ride on his shoulders.

When we get to the Pearly Gates St. Peter asks me "High Scott how are you?" And I say "I'm doing OK."

Then Peter says "Thats great, So why don't you tie off you A$$ and come on in?" :D

Nematocyst
December 15, 2005, 01:46 AM
A group of ACLU trial lawyers were in route to a meeting when their bus flipped over on a turn into a construction site. Reflects political bias.

If you're going to bash lawyers,
don't restrict your criticism to ACLU.

Old joke:

Q: How do you know if a lawyer is lying?
A: (S)he has his/her mouth open.

Tomcat1066
December 15, 2005, 06:48 AM
Q: What do you call 10,000 politicians at the bottom of the Ocean?

A: A good start

1911 guy
December 15, 2005, 10:10 AM
When a politician borrows your car and runs off a cliff? Mixed emotions.

armoredman
December 15, 2005, 10:52 AM
What's wrong with a mini bus with 5 lawyers going off a cliff?




You can fit more than 5 lawyers in a minibus...

ceetee
December 15, 2005, 06:42 PM
What's black and brown, and looks good on a (insert favorite butt of ethnic/professional slur here)?

Slinger
December 15, 2005, 06:46 PM
Why won't sharks eat lawyers?

Professional courtesy.

308win
December 15, 2005, 06:51 PM
Everybody raggs on attorneys until they need one then they want the nastiest MFSOB they can afford. Why is that?

TexasRifleman
December 15, 2005, 06:53 PM
Everybody raggs on attorneys until they need one then they want the nastiest MFSOB they can afford. Why is that?


"Never do business with a rich salesman or a poor lawyer."

mbs357
December 15, 2005, 06:57 PM
If you're going to bash lawyers,
don't restrict your criticism to ACLU.
I was just repeating the joke as I heard it.
A member up here posted it, I believe.

Father Knows Best
December 15, 2005, 07:04 PM
"The other day it was so cold...."
"How cold was it?"
"I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets!"

Q: You're driving down the road and you see a lawyer riding a bicycle. Why don't you swerve and hit him?
A: It's probably your bicycle.

Q: Why do male lawyers wear neckties?
A: To keep their foreskins from creeping up over their faces.

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I.Q. of 40?
A: "Your Honor."

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: How many can you afford?

Note: I'm a lawyer. I love these. I got a million of 'em. :evil:

pax
December 15, 2005, 07:05 PM
Funny stuff, but some of it's offensive and only the first one was even vaguely gun-related.

Closed as off topic.

pax

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