AR vs AK. Finally. (Funny)


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8Balls
February 15, 2006, 01:54 PM
Have you ever wondered which is the ultimate battlerifle, AR or AK?
I found this piece from Finnish board, written by Max Penalty. Here is the final answer: (Translated by me, sorry for typos)

AK: If regular cleaning is neglected, I wont compromise the weapons functionality.
AR: Requires a daily cleaning session and special oil meant for laboratory instruments to work
Mosin-Nagant: Cleaned during the continuation war in Viipuri (1944).

AK: Accuracy. Enough to hit the broad side of the barn. From inside the barn.
AR: You can easily hit the barn from 500 meters, and you can pick up the and re-use the bullets.
M-N: Bullet pearces the both walls of the barn. In the next county.

AK: Reliable and cheap magazines available.
AR: Reliable or cheap magazines available.
M-N: What is a magazine?

AK: You can hear someone releasing the safety over mile way in battlefield conditions.
AK: You can silently release the safety with a tip of your finger without changing your grip.
M-N: ***? Safety?

More to come...

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AK-74me
February 15, 2006, 01:55 PM
Not trying to be the repost police but I believe this was posted a week or two ago.

8Balls
February 15, 2006, 02:04 PM
AK: You can use a cheap shoe lace as a sling.
AR: Tactical 9-point adjustable aramid fiber sling system.
M-N: You can use the sling to tow a T-34 tank, if necessary.

AK: You can cut barb wire with the bayonet
AR: You can open sausage pack with the bayonet.
M-N: Longer than those to together.

AK: You can shoot a hole that you can fit your finger in, through 10 inch tree.
AR: You can shoot clean holes to match box from 100 meters and you can re-use the bullets that you take from the match box afterwards.
M-N: The muzzle-blast knocks over all the plates and poppers in the range. Muzzle flame ignites all the paper targets withing 100 meters.

AK: After you are out of ammo, you can use your AK as an effective close combat weapon.
AR: After you are out of ammo, you can use your AR as flyswatter.
M-N: After you are out of ammo, you can use your M-N can be used as club, bat, oar, iron bar, tent stick or firewood.

AK: Recoil is mild
AR: What recoil?
M-N: You can use the recoil to fix your shoulder, which was dislocated by the last shot.

AK: When you have adjusted the battlesights, you dont want to touch them again.
AR: Sights are fine instruments that need constant adjusting.
M-N: Iron sights are enough to distances up to 12 kilometers. And it has been tested.

More to come.

8Balls
February 15, 2006, 02:06 PM
Ok, thanks, saved from doing a lot of translating... :)

btw, what was the thread name? Just point me to right direction...

AK-74me
February 15, 2006, 02:46 PM
Ok, thanks, saved from doing a lot of translating... :)

btw, what was the thread name? Just point me to right direction...


Not sure it was posted with all the text you wrote in a link

GunnySkox
February 15, 2006, 02:49 PM
http://www.headsbunker.com/html/2006/01/ak-vs-ar-real-data-speaks.html

~GnSx

AJ Dual
February 15, 2006, 02:57 PM
Uh…

Rotating the cocking piece on a Mosin Nagant's bolt seems like a "safety" to me…

No?

Crosshair
February 15, 2006, 03:01 PM
This series is different, keep it up.:p

Crosshair
February 15, 2006, 03:14 PM
AK: You can clean the gas system with a piece of cloth and a stick.
AR: You can clean the gas system with small pipe cleaners and special cleaner.
M-N: What's a gas system???

AK: You can duct tape a flashlight to the handgaurd as a taclight.
AR: You can mount a taclight to any one of your six M1913 rails.
M-N: The muzzle flash lights up the immediate area better than a taclight, road flare, or tactical nuke.

/I'll think up more later.:cool:

benEzra
February 15, 2006, 03:24 PM
M-N: The muzzle-blast knocks over all the plates and poppers in the range. Muzzle flame ignites all the paper targets withing 100 meters.

M-N: You can use the recoil to fix your shoulder, which was dislocated by the last shot.
I can relate to both of those... :D

Rotating the cocking piece on a Mosin Nagant's bolt seems like a "safety" to me…
I think the point is that the safety on an M-N is not at all obvious and has to be pointed out, or you'll never know the rifle has one. I didn't know my M39 had a safety until I asked about it on TFL...

8Balls
February 15, 2006, 03:26 PM
Not sure it was posted with all the text you wrote in a link

Ill check whats missing...

AK: Not everyone learns how to ride a bike or play the piano, but everyone can use AK to kill imperialists.
AR: Targets usually dont know how to play a piano or ride a bike
M-N: Too bad dinosaurs are extinct.

And new ones:

AK: The switch prevents things bigger than squirrels from getting in. That was added because of PETA.
AR: 0.01 mm grain of sand will cause a jam.
M-N: If you rule out big shrapnel from enemy artillery, there is nothing that can jam your M-N

Fieldstripping:
AK: 5 parts, lock is the smallest.
AR: Bag full of small parts that can be misplaced or lost. If even one of them is missing your gun is useless.
M-N; Take the bolt off, rinse it with diesel, urin or water then put it back. If you make the big mistake and detail strip the lock, you need a Finnish ww2 veteran to put it back together.

Magazines:
AK: Works as a bottle opener and cqc-weapon. You can make diy-flak jacket by putting 8 mags on your chest. The magazine lasts longer than the gun or the user.
AR: Magazine is light and single use. Do not put 30 rounds to 30 round mag, because it was not designed for that. Magazines cause malfunctions, so you need at least 10 to sustain some kind of rate of fire.

Accuracy, full auto:
AK: Every third round hits, but one is enough.
AR: Accuracy excellent, but it takes more than half of the magazine to stop the threat. Thats why you need at least 18 magazines.
M-N: 5 hits IS fire power.

CQC:
AK: If the stock is shattered, you can use it as a bat.
AR: G-forces ruin the buffer and carrier timing. Send your gun to USA for reconstruction.
M-N: The target breaks before the the gun.

Corrosion:
AK: Corrodes, but it doesnt matter.
AR: Seawater to AR is like holy water to vampire.
M-N: Was corroded to brown during the summer of 1940 but it works as a camouflage.

Materials:
AK: If you have wood and any iron based metal, you can make one.
AR: If you have mid-sized oil refinery, nuclear powerplant and a lab for composite materials, you can make one.
M-N: The gun was made in 1938.

User requirements:
AK: Gun is designed for illiterate farmers in 3rd world countries. Takes 20 minutes to train a peasant to use one, and you can use the remaining 10 minutes to political propaganda. Maintenance is 20 minutes and you can use the remaining 10 minutes to drink vodka.
AR: It takes a field manual and a lot of reading to make the gun ready for use. Do not use violence, because all the parts were made by the company who made the lowest bidder. Maintenance training takes 3 days. 2 in days in simulator class and 1 day for conditioning. (to get a sane person cleam his gun 3 times a day).
M-N. High threshold for pain.

MechAg94
February 15, 2006, 04:54 PM
I always see people say that AR's were made by the lowest bidder, but they never say that the AK were all made by govt workers. Which is worse?

Koobuh
February 15, 2006, 05:10 PM
^ Death by firing squad is a powerful motivator, I understand.
That, and even if the clearances are messed up with lazy machining it will still work. That's why people with a shaped block of steel and a large hammer handy can make AK receivers and build AKs.

BloodyRAzorBlades
February 15, 2006, 07:23 PM
Uh…

Rotating the cocking piece on a Mosin Nagant's bolt seems like a "safety" to me…

No?


Technically yes, but that thing is hard to manipulate and when i tried to turn it off and on my finger got stuck in the knob part. or are u just talking about pulling the bolt's "action" back as it's form of safety?

1 old 0311
February 15, 2006, 07:37 PM
Funny, but true:neener:

Kevin

Sleeping Dog
February 15, 2006, 09:27 PM
At a gun buy-back program,

AK - the media lines up to take pictures, horrid guns
AR - the leftists line up to point at imperialistic, horrid guns
M-N - the gun owners line up to sell. At $50 per, can make a good profit.

:)

Crosshair
February 16, 2006, 03:18 AM
AK: The trigger mechanisim is simple and reliable. Parts can be replaced in the field.
AR: The trigger is a marriage of precision components. If it breaks, send it back to the armory for repair.
M-N: The trigger is a bent nail.

AK: A quality AK makes good marksman rifle when $100 POSP scope is mounted.
AR: Makes a good sniper rifle with $400 worth of custom gunsmithing, bull barrel, match trigger, and $500 Leupold scope.
M-N: Makes a good sniper rifle when you line up the rear sight with the front sight and pull the trigger.

AK: Stock can be used to dig a foxhole.
AR: Stock can be used to swat flies in a foxhole.
M-N: Shoot into the ground and you have a foxhole.

AK: 7.62x39 has been known to penetrate several layers of solid oak and take out target.
AR: 5.56x45 has been known to take out target from 600 yards away.
M-N: 7.62x54R has been known to take out low flying aircraft.

1911user
February 16, 2006, 08:43 AM
This is great stuff. Keep adding to it, please.

foghornl
February 16, 2006, 09:07 AM
AK: Bayonet ? ? We dont need no steenkin' Bayonet

AR: Which of the 18 rails holds the Bayonet?

MN: Fold-out bayonet can be used to fend of 1 or 2 BG's while ya stuff in another stripper clip worth of ammo. Also acts as windage adjustment on some models.

RTFM
February 16, 2006, 11:52 AM
M-N: 7.62x54R has been known to take out low flying aircraft.


LOL Keep them up this IS funny

sgist
February 16, 2006, 12:04 PM
It may be funny, but it is not nice. Now I have to get a Mosin Nagant and a new gun safe.

AJ Dual
February 16, 2006, 01:45 PM
Technically yes, but that thing is hard to manipulate and when i tried to turn it off and on my finger got stuck in the knob part. or are u just talking about pulling the bolt's "action" back as it's form of safety?

No, just the cocking piece. That's what it's for.

Just don't let go before you get it turned. Here and now, if you're following the four rules, it's just embarassing...

Back in the day, I doub't that neither the Commisar, nor the Finns would be so forgiving. :D

50caliber123
February 16, 2006, 04:26 PM
Of all the three, the only one I have is the mosin-nagant (M38) But it isn't too far from the truth. I hope to have my MAK-90 (an AK variant) soon, to test out its accuracy. I really am not a fan of the MN, but I keep my M38 around b/c it is in mint condition with the perfect, laminated stock.

AR: Resembles a toy pellet gun
AK: Resembles a gun, in the loose sense of the word
MN: Resembles a small cannon

silicon wolverine
April 19, 2006, 06:54 AM
First impressions on picking one up:
AK "Spray and pray!"

AR "My kid has toys that are tougher than this."

MN "I have this sudden urge to lead a bayonet charge..."

impressions after pulling the trigger

AK "I went though thirty rounds ALREADY?"

AR "Did it go off?"

MN " i didnt know you could shoulder fire a howitzer."

SW

foghornl
April 19, 2006, 09:10 AM
M-N can also be used to 'tenderize' a tough steak. Place raw meat between steel butt-plate and shoulder, pop off a round, 2 at the most. M-N will also 'tenderize' your sholder if not held tightly.

kfranz
April 19, 2006, 10:19 AM
You guys make fun of the MN safety.

The MAS-36 REALLY doesn't have one...:)

dfaugh
April 19, 2006, 10:31 AM
Rotating the cocking piece on a Mosin Nagant's bolt seems like a "safety" to me…

I think the point is that you cannot work the action with the safety engaged, you most put it into battery first, then engage safety, and be careful how you release it.

One of the things I never liked about MNs

Keep 'em coming this is one of the funniest threads in a along time.

Jaim03
April 19, 2006, 02:53 PM
This thread is great!
I have never fired any of the 3 "suspects" but am aware of their reputations, deserved or otherwise!! Keep 'em coming!!

cosine
April 19, 2006, 03:04 PM
Funny thread! :D

(tagged so as to not lose track of it...)

Run&Shoot
April 19, 2006, 04:31 PM
Caching:

AK: Wiped it down, wrap it in burlap and bury in back yard. Take out, hose it off and fire!

AR: Clean, iol, grease, coat with moisture sealant, plug barrel with RIG, enclose in hermitcally sealed bag, place in ABS pipe with lots of dissecant, seal pipe with lots of tape and wrap in tarp. Bury in backyard. Dig up every year for inspection and cleaning. Soak in solvent, clean, oil, grease, make sure you have all the parts, inspect all parts for damage, reassemble, test fire, make adjustments, clean, oil, grease, Ready to fire!

M-N: Throw in bottom of outhouse. Wait 50 years. Dig up. Bang on concrete to knock of large chucks of cr@p. Ready to shoot!

Sewerman
April 19, 2006, 04:54 PM
This is hillarious, i have all three of the weapons in this discussion and it is 100% true.

VirgilCaine
April 19, 2006, 10:20 PM
These are the best.

cracked butt
April 20, 2006, 01:34 AM
AR: pa-sproing pa-sproing pa-sproing
AK: klacka klacka klacka
MN: BOOM

silicon wolverine
April 20, 2006, 05:17 AM
AK can use ammo made anywhere in the world

AR Your ammo better have the exact right bullet weight for your twist or you wont hit anyhting

MN ammo was made by some guy named boris in 1938. Its green and fuzzy but it still shoots MOA
:D

SW

db_tanker
April 20, 2006, 07:05 AM
I believe of all of these...I can appreciate cracked-butt's post the most...


when I was in the army, and they made us DAT's go through BRM I discovered the ANNOYANCE of having a friggin' recoil buffer(?????) spring in my right ear while shooting a Mattel.

"WHANG, WHANG, WHANG"


IF i ever get a mattel for personal use, I WILL replace said spring with a hydraulic dampner...

D

Fire4Effect
April 20, 2006, 07:54 AM
AK... unmistakeable
AR... unmistakeable
M.N. could be mistaken as t-34 tanks or offshore naval gunfire

M.N.... the real cause of the Red Army's "Scorched Earth" policy

Vic303
April 20, 2006, 09:03 PM
Too funny! Although I don't have the M-N, I just mentally substituted SMLE for M-N and it was pretty much the same effect!:D

lee n. field
April 20, 2006, 11:03 PM
MN ammo was made by some guy named boris in 1938. Its green and fuzzy but it still shoots MOA



If only. Mine patterns like a shotgun.

oops!
April 21, 2006, 12:26 AM
"If only. Mine patterns like a shotgun."

I have several that pattern as well.

But, then there's the $50 beater Finn 1942 VKT rearsenal, with the barrel that looked like a sewer pipe. With the "match grade" Wolfe ammo, from a few years ago, I can hit 55 gallon drums at distances I won't even post. You wouldn't believe me unless you were there.

BTW, my MN m38 is the only rifle that I was ever asked to stop shooting on a range as, "too loud"!

orangeninja
April 21, 2006, 01:29 AM
Funny stuff.

AK: Ugly and practical.
AR: Slick and tactical.
MA: As slick as a fence post and twice as reliable.

Mine's not that great but this thread is.:D

silicon wolverine
April 21, 2006, 01:55 AM
"BTW, my MN m38 is the only rifle that I was ever asked to stop shooting on a range as, "too loud"!"

I got bounced one time when i was shooting my .416 dakota. It had a 16" barrel with a six slot muzzle brake. I generally put in foam plugas and them put muffs over the top. it was LOUD.

SW

VirgilCaine
April 22, 2006, 02:04 PM
M-N...it's not a rifle, it's an emergency rescue signaling device!

Crosshair
April 22, 2006, 11:55 PM
VirgilCaine

Provided that you don't accidentally down the rescue plane from the shockwave caused by the guns discharge.:D

The_Antibubba
April 23, 2006, 12:09 AM
I always see people say that AR's were made by the lowest bidder, but they never say that the AK were all made by govt workers. Which is worse?

Note the "AKs" made by Pakistanis with a charcoal forge, pliers, and two hammers. Illiterate communist factory workers are three steps above that. I challenge anyone without a machine shop and vocational training to make an AR-type that'll actually work.

4v50 Gary
April 23, 2006, 12:20 AM
If it wasn't true, it wouldn't be so funny.:uhoh:

FlyinBryan
March 29, 2008, 01:45 PM
i just bought an ak and i cant hit the target
i just bought an ar and i cant afford a taget
i just bought an mn and are you going to finish that possum?

Gingerbreadman
March 29, 2008, 02:22 PM
AK-metal and wood pieced together 50 years ago.
AR-metal and plastic pieced together 40 years ago.
MN-Mined from the Ural Mountains 90 years ago.

azhunter12
March 29, 2008, 09:03 PM
Good stuff.

JWarren
March 29, 2008, 09:07 PM
Bring out yer dead!

This one almost made 2 years before it was called from the grave.


-- John

sam700
March 29, 2008, 09:16 PM
Wow, after reading this thread I'm starting to think the Mosin Nagant is the gun of choice for those thinking about hunting Chuck Norris!

Sorry couldn't resist.

High Planes Drifter
March 29, 2008, 09:22 PM
Rise from the dead , Pheonix.

If 7.62x54R hadnt gone up in price, I would have picked up a Nagant. Looks like all that old surpluss has dried up.

Sniper4Life
March 29, 2008, 09:24 PM
Fieldstripping:
AK: 5 parts, lock is the smallest.
AR: Bag full of small parts that can be misplaced or lost. If even one of them is missing your gun is useless.
M-N; Take the bolt off, rinse it with diesel, urin or water then put it back. If you make the big mistake and detail strip the lock, you need a Finnish ww2 veteran to put it back together.

Actually, detail stripping and putting it back to gether is soooo very easy...

RP88
March 29, 2008, 09:25 PM
I guess this is a 'make your own' thread?

AK: a near-miss scares you and sends debris into your face
AR: A near-miss feels like a gentle whim from the wind Goddess
MN: A near-miss leaves ripple marks in your cheeks and shatters your eardrum

AK: You call it an ugly beast, and buy polymer furniture to pretty it up. Anything to make it good-looking enough to stand it.
AR: You call it a sexy name, and buy it accessories. it's like a your range-wife that you show off to your friends.
MN: You call the police and file domestic abuse charges against it. You can only take but so many broken shoulders before enough is enough.

AK: Lifting the rifle is slightly inconvenient
AR: Lifting the rifle requires steady control so you don't accidentally launch it into the air
MN: Lifting the rifle is a good way to get in shape for beach season

:p

35 Whelen
March 30, 2008, 02:15 AM
AK: Your rifle can be used by any third world countries most illiterate militias to fight elite forces worldwide.

AR: Your rifle is used by elite forces worldwide to fight third world countries most illiterate militias.

M-N: Your rifle has fought against itself and won each and every time.

________________________________________________________________

AK: You consider it passage into manhood when your handguard bursts into flames from sustained fire.

AR: You consider it passage into manhood when you shoot a sub-MOA 5 shot group.

M-N: You consider it passage into manhood when you cycle 5 rounds without the aid of a 2x4.

_________________________________________________________________

AK: You buy cheap ammo by the truckload.

AR: You painstakingly reload precision crafted rounds one at a time.

M-N: You dig your ammo out of a farmer's field in the Republic of Chechnya and it works just fine.

35W

C-grunt
March 30, 2008, 05:32 AM
Other peoples reactions at the range:

AK. Klack Klack Klack......Punk kids.

AR. Pop Pop Pop.......Tactical Yuppie.

M-N. BOOM...What the @#!% was that!!

C-grunt
March 30, 2008, 05:33 AM
^^^^That reaction is pretty strong at an indoor range. he he :)

boomstik45
March 30, 2008, 05:48 AM
AK: Might jam if the following circumstances are involved: mags/receiver fit is bad, ammo is REALLY REALLY bad, or operator is incurably retarded beyond hope and cannot recognize the first two symptoms.

AR: Will jam if the following circumstances are involved: temperature change of more than 1.2 degrees (in either direction), improper pose while firing, any debris or matter larger than an atom gets inside the weapon (this includes ammo powder/blast from the round you just fired off), you think it might jam, etc.

Mosin Nagant: It's a bolt action,:D you raving lunatic. If it jams, you did it and we couldn't imagine how. All guns will now be taken away from you.

CannonFodder
March 30, 2008, 09:21 AM
Relative Power of the AK, the AR, and the Mosin.

AK: Can be used to take a small deer at close range.

AR: Can be used to snipe the wings off a fly at several hundred meters.

Mosin: Can be used for low-level demolition work if you don't have a Davy Crockett handy.

---

Felt Recoil

AK: Like a slap on the back from your high school football coach.

AR: Like a kiss from a beautiful woman.

Mosin: Like being late on the payments to a Loan Shark named Vinny. And you've been foolin' around with his girl on the side.

oneshooter
March 30, 2008, 11:06 AM
You can also use the M-N bayonet as a roasting spit!
Try that with a AK/AR bayonet!

Oneshooter
Livin in Texas

vzenmn
March 30, 2008, 08:00 PM
^
The Mosin bayonet is also good for digging holes to stick your target stand in.

AK. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang.
AR. Crack. Crack. Crack. Click. Aw fudge its gone dry. Anybody got any CLP?
MN. Boom. Wack. Wack. Wack. Wack. Wack. Damn I need a longer 2x4.

Dionysusigma
March 30, 2008, 08:19 PM
These are all true, based on owning each. :uhoh:

AK Jammed: Somehow an empty casing got thrown behind the hammer. Gun didn't stop until a shard of what was left of the casing cut my finger through the trigger hole.

AR Jammed: 1/32 ding/dent in magazine.

MN Jammed: Fired 170 rounds off in a row. Enough metallic swelling prevented bolt from working (never mind the bolt handle was too hot to touch with bare hands).

---

AK ammo: Made in 1982, packaged in cardboard box with paper dividers.
AR ammo: Made in 2008, packaged in cardboard box with specially-formed plastic preventing any single round from touching another.
MN ammo: Made in 1946, packaged in paper tied with string.

---

AK disassembly: Push in button, remove cover, remove spring, pull out carrier, bolt drops free.

AR disassembly: Push in button, break rifle open, pull back charging handle, pull out carrier, pull out cotter pin, firing pin drops out, push bolt in, rotate lug pin and pull it out, pull out bolt.

MN disassembly: Hold down trigger and open bolt.

chupacabrah
March 30, 2008, 09:54 PM
this thread really makes me want to get a MN lol

Strakele
March 30, 2008, 10:26 PM
Here's a lot of these compiled into a table.

http://7.62x54r.net/MosinID/MosinHumor.htm

GarandOwner
March 31, 2008, 06:11 AM
I see a few have changed somewhat from the "original" (though mabye not the first) website that I saw with these compairisons many years ago.

My favorite was the one about the bayonets
AK: You can intimidate your foe with the bayonet mounted.
AR: You foes laugh when you mount your bayonet.
MN:You can bayonet your foe on the other side of the river without leaving the comfort of your hole.
AR: you mount a bayonet and

Firepower!
March 31, 2008, 06:23 AM
AK
This is because it gives me accuracy and reliability in a combat situtaion that I need. If I needed beyong 250 yards accuracy I would select neither.

vzenmn
March 31, 2008, 08:36 AM
this thread really makes me want to get a MN lol

They can be fun but be careful. They usually end up costing you great financial and domestic problems. But anyway, you're not a real man until you can put 50 rounds through a M44 and still be able to use your right arm the next day.

An AK can take any animal up to a medium sized deer out to 100 yards.

An AR can take anything up to a coyote up 200 yards.

An MN can not only take anything on the continent, it can Shiskabob and cook it at the same time.

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