God's Guns


March 3, 2006, 04:49 PM
I was wondering, what guns would God use?

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March 3, 2006, 04:53 PM
Probably a Phalanx CIWS that he controls with his mind.

Or just a .50 Cal Barett... with AP ammo...


Does he really need a gun though??

March 3, 2006, 04:53 PM
His finger.

He points it and a 10,000,000 volt, 10,000,000 amp lightning bolt blasts forth when he is displeased... AND FREAKING VAPORIZES WHAT EVER IT HITS!


March 3, 2006, 04:56 PM
Now here's a worthwhile thread.........:rolleyes:

Dave R
March 3, 2006, 04:57 PM
I'm pretty sure He shoots a 1911 handgun, a Browning Superposed for trap, and a Winchester 1894 for long gun. That what he had John Moses Browning build for him, anway. :D

March 3, 2006, 04:57 PM
OK, I'm impressed. We've had three replies already, without anyone saying "1911" or "Glock". :neener:

March 3, 2006, 04:59 PM
HA! 1911 sneaks in by a nose.

March 3, 2006, 05:00 PM
I predict threadlock in 30 posts.


March 3, 2006, 05:18 PM
I was wondering, what guns would God use?
Which GOD?

The Judeao-Christian God? Being a GOD of Love and Peace he prefers to let others do his dirty work. He's been known to send a few bears on occasion to take care of those who blaspheme.

Zeus - lightning bolts

Allah - another one partial to letting others do his dirty work but can wield fire when necessary.

Thor - likes a big hammer

Odin - uses Thor

Satan - fire or sends a demon

Central and South American Indian Gods were quite fond of snakes...

On the other hand I imagine that any god being a god could pretty much wield what ever the hell he/she wanted to wield. :eek:

March 3, 2006, 05:22 PM
hmm... according to the family guy, he likes a bolt action rifle (possibly a remington 700) scoped with a laser. :neener: personally, I think the AC-130 is pretty close to wrath of god, sees all and deliver blindingly accurate, over powering firepower. :evil: short of an A bomb

March 3, 2006, 05:33 PM
This thread is beyond silly.

You all know this, right?

March 3, 2006, 05:42 PM
Are you people crazy he uses a 50 cal bmg with depleted uranium rounds...:evil: .

March 3, 2006, 05:44 PM
I always thought God carried a sword.

March 3, 2006, 05:47 PM





March 3, 2006, 05:49 PM
I don't know what gun God would use, but I know when his son needed to run some moneychangers out of a temple he didn't use a gun at all. My man grabbed a stick and commenced to whackin' some heads.

March 3, 2006, 06:05 PM
Why a Churchill, of course...



March 3, 2006, 06:09 PM
God would have absolutely no use for any gun.

He would, of course, merely lay His hand upon somebody named "Moses" and pass on all the gun knowledge required by mere mortals to that most faithful servant.

I'll give you a hint.

The names "John" and "Browning" are somewhere around the middle name of Moses.


March 3, 2006, 06:38 PM
Not sure what the Man carries but I know what his Son carries.


March 3, 2006, 06:43 PM


Don't Tread On Me
March 3, 2006, 06:45 PM

March 3, 2006, 06:58 PM
and we're all going to hell for this one.....

anyways, everybody knows that God carrys a colt SAA.....

March 3, 2006, 06:59 PM
Are we talking old testimate God or new testimate God? I assume you are referring to Judeao-Christian god.
Old testimate: I would say something like a big ol' shotgun. A real "I am going to do some major damage if you pi$$ me off" weapon.
New testimate: I would say a very nice CCW ruger SP101. A real "I love you but I can reach it at a moments notice" weapon.
I personaly would love to see Vishnu packing. She could handle four at once. :)

March 3, 2006, 07:00 PM
God is supposedly perfect and omnipotent. So the bigger question is: Can God create a gun with a trigger pull so heavy that not even he can fire it???

March 3, 2006, 07:00 PM
No, it's an .88 magnum.

George Hill
March 3, 2006, 07:01 PM
Hurricane Katrina?

R.H. Lee
March 3, 2006, 07:02 PM
Glocks. Because God, being perfect, demands perfection. :D

March 3, 2006, 07:11 PM
Yep. Gonna burn for this.

First off, one must ask the question why The Lord God Almighty even needs a firearm at all. After all, to even become a threat, would one not have to venture beyond the Legions of Angels and Saints after which they would encounter the Horsemen of the Apocolypse?

One must question exactly what kind of force would be required to even mount such an attack as to make God even draw upon his sidearm at all?

I submit that The Lord God carries a Colt SAA...in .45 Colt. It should be known that God makes Jerry Miculek and Bob Mundon look like sticks stuck in mollases...

Oh, those are .45 Colt cartridges with nuclear tipped cartridges each detonating with 100 megaton efficiency.

Those are his plinking loads though...the Shiloh Sharps is loaded with "Universe Busters" ...

Yep, gonna burn...

March 3, 2006, 07:16 PM
Funny, I just answered this question in another thread:

Git yerself a real Rifle, .30 caliber, M1 and shoot the cartridge God himself would use, the 30'06!

In case any of y'all don't know, that would be a:


March 3, 2006, 07:23 PM

God's wrath against chocolate town and schoolbus nagan..:evil:

wait, i thought BUSH created that puppy to put down minoritys and democrats??

lee n. field
March 3, 2006, 07:28 PM
What Would El Shaddai Use?

Dunno, but I once heard this (http://panzergeneral.strategyplanet.gamespy.com/ww2/Weapons/towed_artillery/usa/gundata/155mm_Gun_M1_longtom.html) described as "God's own impact wrench".http://panzergeneral.strategyplanet.gamespy.com/ww2/Weapons/towed_artillery/usa/pictures/155mm_Gun_M1/155mm_gun_m1a1_on_m1_001.jpg

March 3, 2006, 07:53 PM
After thinking about this a bit and looking around and seeing just how screwed up the world really is and figuring that only a real boob could screw it up as bad as it is I now figure that GOD carries something real cheap and crappy like a highpoint or maybe a spud gun or something... :neener:

I don't care what anyone says - this is a really cool thread! :evil:

Standing Wolf
March 3, 2006, 08:44 PM
I have it on good authorityŚmy kittyŚthat the Great Cat has the sharpest fangs and claws in the universe.

March 3, 2006, 08:45 PM
Probably the same kind Santa carries?

Jack T.
March 3, 2006, 08:50 PM
Well, He has been known to send down Fire from Heaven, so maybe He is partial to flamethrowers

March 3, 2006, 08:53 PM
Kenny boy your all over the map with your series of questions. Are you asking for your own knowledge or do you have another motive. If your questions are out of ignorance I would suggest you read awhile before posting anything else. If there is another agenda you should reconsider. You have been given the benifit of the doubt up until now. Good luck:banghead:

March 3, 2006, 11:04 PM
40mm Glock.

In each hand.:evil:

Red Tornado
March 3, 2006, 11:56 PM
God's gun is even better than movie guns, because:

It never runs out of ammo.

If shoots full auto....if He wants it to.

It can stun a mouse, or blow up a house, or obliterate the whole Philistine army...with one shot.

It never misses. Snap shot from the hip at 500 yards, shaves a gnat's behind.

It always gets a one-shot-stop.

It looks different to different people. To most, it appears as a 1911. Satan's minions see it as a Glock. :evil: (Just kidding, Glocks aren't evil. ;) )

It can't be banned, even in PRK. :eek:

I'm sure I left several out. Oh yeah, IBTL. :D

March 4, 2006, 12:08 AM
Umm...that revolver pic was definitely an airsoft gun, not real steel... Notice the gas injection dealy on teh side, and "Tanaka Works" and "Made in Japan"....

Unless I'm mistaken.

Or is what he meant by "Blasphemy"?

March 4, 2006, 01:49 AM
Well, He has been known to send down Fire from Heaven, so maybe He is partial to flamethrowers

Either that, or he's got some hellacious Dragons Breath loads... :evil:

March 4, 2006, 07:33 AM
How many angels can fit on the head of a firing pin?


March 4, 2006, 08:34 AM
Dual CZ 75's and a K31.

Echo Tango
March 4, 2006, 09:06 AM
I really shouldn't encourage Kennyboy to come up with anymore stupid questions/posts, but I can't help myself on this one.


March 4, 2006, 12:36 PM


Taurus 66
March 4, 2006, 01:04 PM

4v50 Gary
March 4, 2006, 01:09 PM
Hay-suess with the Barrett or AK are both good, but we all know that God's Disciple on Earth, Moses, or John Moses Browning, gave us God's personal choice of bullets, the .45 ACP and the gun to go with it: 1911.

Echo Tango
March 4, 2006, 02:01 PM
Yea I just wanted to test my photo shop skills. I think this is a silly thread.

March 4, 2006, 02:14 PM
"Why does God need a Starship?"
James T. Kirk


March 4, 2006, 03:17 PM
Since God gave us a sense of humor:

God the Father: Colt Peace-Maker in 45 Long Colt

Jesus: 1911a1 in 45 ACP

Holy Spirit: Glock - ya know those non-metal guns that don't show up on
airport scanners - they are there, but you can't see them. ;)

Oh almost forgot - rifles

God the Father: Winchester 1886 in 45-70

Jesus: M1- Garand

Holy Spirit: That new army rifle - that does everything - but you can't see it
cause they're still working on it.

March 4, 2006, 06:21 PM
Don't think you'd really want to know .... he uses 20 megaton nukes as "firecrackers".

March 4, 2006, 06:35 PM
I was wondering, what guns would God use?

I didn't know we dealt in mythology on this board.


Well, since this mythical creature you speak of has mythical all seeing and all knowing powers, plus the ability to require others to do its/his/her bidding, why would it/he/she need a gun?

Puhleeze, this sort of stuff is just annoying. I think there are religious forums elsewhere.

March 4, 2006, 09:18 PM
Obviously the 1911.

Don Gwinn
March 4, 2006, 09:53 PM
I'm sorry. I tried, I really did.

I can't take it anymore.

March 4, 2006, 09:56 PM

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