I need some help, seriously


April 21, 2006, 05:37 PM
My finace' has been in the hospital for the last week for gall bladder surgery. She was released yesterday but at ~10pm last night we had to call an ambulance to get her back in. She's in so much pain they're just putting her to sleep all day.

Her name is Mari, please put her in your prayers.

To keep this gun related, she can outshoot me on the 1911 platform, just not on polymers.

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April 21, 2006, 05:46 PM
I understand coping when the one you love suffers.

Mari, and you are in my devotions.

Feel free to pm me if I can help.

Be determined to eat a balanced diet, exercise with a purpose to deal with the stress and give you a better chance at restful sleep. This is a bad time to let Murphy's Laws take a toothed bite out of you - pay attention to life and the outside world.

My heart goes out to you both.


April 21, 2006, 05:48 PM
Done, and will continue to do so.. :)

April 21, 2006, 05:50 PM
My prayers are with you and your wife.

Keep your head up and think positive.

Better luck when she gets well on the gun issues :neener:

April 21, 2006, 05:52 PM
I know the feeling about 2 years ago my wife went in for severe pain and it too 2-3 days to get it figured out what it was. Wednesday she had bad back pain and went to the ER that day the next morning woke up with the same pain. Right now she is dope up on meds. You are in my prayers.

April 21, 2006, 05:57 PM
Thank You, guys/gals for your thoughts. I'm so out of it emotionally and physically right now. I just need a bit of support. I just don't have anyone to talk to.

She won't let me tell her parents and I don't have any. My boss has been my only shoulder and she's about tired of hearing from me. I thank you again.

Please keep Mari in your prayers.

Fine, I'm a weak little boy at 30, but I need the help regardless.:(

April 21, 2006, 09:07 PM
There is nothing "weak" about seeking friendship in times like these. My wife and I will be praying for you and Mari.

April 21, 2006, 09:59 PM
You and Mari will be in my thoughts and prayers. If you just need to talk, or vent, drop me a PM, I will be more than happy to listen. Take care

Sharps Shooter
April 21, 2006, 10:10 PM
You're not weak.
You and Mari are in our prayers. Thank you for allowing us the opportunity to pray for you both.
Please keep us informed.

Mr. and Mrs. Sharps

Bob F.
April 21, 2006, 10:14 PM
Prayers sent!
Hang in there!


April 21, 2006, 10:18 PM
I will def. keep you and your wife in my prayers. I hope she gets better soon. Did they say what was wrong with her? This kind of disturbs me as she should not be in so much pain unless something is going on. Have they said anything else to you about her condition? There may be something else going on other than ust pain because of the surgery.

April 21, 2006, 10:25 PM
Prayers ascending... Tell Mari she has family she doesn't even know about out here.

April 21, 2006, 10:26 PM
Both you and your fiance will be in my prayers

April 21, 2006, 10:31 PM
thoughts and prayers! hang in there.

April 21, 2006, 11:16 PM
Thoughts and prayers sent y'alls way. Take care.

April 21, 2006, 11:21 PM
Prayers sent. Stay strong for her.

April 21, 2006, 11:33 PM
Almighty Heavenly Father -

We come to you in prayer today to ask that if it be Your will, You extend Your healing grace to Mari - as the Good Book says, not a sparrow falls without You knowing it. In Jesus" name we pray -


April 21, 2006, 11:46 PM
Thanks for sharing in your moment of need. THIS is why I like the High Road.

I know you would take the pain for her, but for whatever reason she is suffering, God NEVER lets us endure anything for which we are not prepared.

God WILL give her the strength. May her sufferings be few, and her strength redoubled. God bless you both!


April 21, 2006, 11:58 PM
She and you are in my prayers.

Here are a couple of thoughts I have collected over the years:

"You show true friendship when you help another in need. You show how much you value a friend when you ask that friend for help." (My Grandfather)

"Being a friend takes strength. Allowing another to be your friend takes trust. Neither of those traits is unattractive." (My Dad)

"Don't be afraid to be a friend. They'll get even with you and it'll make you feel good." (Me)


April 22, 2006, 12:08 AM
Prayer sent for the two of you, and BTW asking for help when you need it isn't weakness it's wisdom.

April 22, 2006, 01:52 AM
Turns out she has a partially collapsed lung and possiby some "weird" stones in her liver. That's what she said. They won't tell me much since I'm not family (yet).

Sorry if I seem wierd I've been under sleeping and over drinking for a week.

Thank you all for your kind words, and your prayers, she's a Christian and though I'm not, I feel my Gods are against me on this one. Maybe yours will help.

April 22, 2006, 02:07 AM
Something's wrong. Gall bladder surgery (at least some types) these days is often not even an overnight stay.

I don't really understand how you go in for gall bladder surgery and end up in the hospital for a week then have to go back the next day with a collapsed lung. If things don't start looking better quickly, it might be time to look into a new doctor or maybe even a new hospital. I'd try to at least get another doctor in on this situation right away.

Sgt Stevo
April 22, 2006, 02:21 AM
Jeanne, little Jessy and I said one for you both tonight.

I dont know you, but PM or e-mail, if we can be of assistance.

be strong brother, stevo............. PS, Is there a doctor in the THR house? Mabe some Med input?

April 22, 2006, 02:23 AM
When this happens, the pain is HORRID! It happened to my mother years back. What they thought would be a simple procedure, was not so simple. But the lung?

Two points: either get her family in their and asking questions, or have her sign a waiver saying that the hospital is to release 100% of info to you!

It can be done--I know, because I JUST did it last week. If my wife is unavailable, my father can receive info about me, or etc.

Something that they are (not) doing sounds like a cover-up to me.

God bless you both! I'll keep you in our prayers.


April 22, 2006, 02:29 AM
I should clarify. We went to the ER Monday night and she was admitted. By then it was Tuesday morning. She was scheduled for surgery for Wednesday @ 2:00pm. She had her surgery at the scheduled time and was released Thursday. She had horrific pain and vomiting all day Thursday and asked for an ambulance (thank Odin for insurance) and was re-admitted with a partially collapsed lung and something in her blood work about stones in her liver. They are assessing now what to do. And it's not helping my sleep cycle.

April 22, 2006, 03:07 AM
keep up a positive appearence and attitude, because it will help more then you can imagine.... if she see's you torn apart, tired and upset it will only make her feel worse, so anytime you see her or even speak to her, put on a smile and keep a little extra volume in your voice. it may seem silly on the phone, but you can tell when someone has a smile on their face when you speak to them on the phone. Keep it together for her and for your own health.

God bless you both, and God's speed through your hard time.

P.S. seeking out a friend for help, doesn't make you weak, not having the strength to admit you need help is what makes someone weak.

April 22, 2006, 03:31 AM

Prayers sent brother.
Maybe they will let her sign a document letting you into the info loop.
Rest is your friend. You'll need the strength to give her support.
Breath deep. Be calm. Be a rock.
She'll need peaceable rest and recovery after the surgery.
She'll need calmly given intel as to what happened and what to expect.
The doc may handle explainations well, but you may need to clarify.

God bless.

April 22, 2006, 08:47 AM
Prayers sent, along with best wishes for a speedy recover. More tomorrow -

Hang in there, and never be shy about asking for a little moral support. The folks here are a caring bunch and you both will feel the love.;) It's bad enough to be the patient, but nothing sux worse than having to be a spectator when an SO is hurting and there's nothing you can do. As noted, a positive attitude can be contageous, express your concern, provide lots of support, but don't let her see you torn up.

There's no such thing as 'minor surgery'. My wife had her gall bladder out a few years ago, and though she didn't have as bad a time as your Mari, it was no picnic, but she did heal quickly once things got squared away. Be aware that she'll likely have to watch her diet. Losing the gall bladder affects the ability to digest fats. Some people don't notice any difference, but most have to be careful about how much/what type of fats they eat. the best advice I can offer is go slow on high fat foods when she comes home (No Big Macs or cheese steaks :neener: ) Good luck & God bless.

April 22, 2006, 08:56 AM

Hang in there. Christian or not, there are a lot of people here thinking/praying about you and your loved one. I have been dealing with a physically ill SO for over 5 years. It is frustrating and will drain you phisically and emotionally if you let it. Remeber to take care of yourself first. That sounds selfish, but what I mean is this...if you het down/sick, your GF will have NO ONE to take care of HER!

1. Have your GF sign a HIPPA form allowing the Hospital to share her "Confidential" information with you.

2. Rest is your friend; sleep whenever, where ever you can

3. Educate yourself about your GF conditions via WEB MD or a RELIABLE source of information.

4. Find some support from her parents or your mutual friends. This is NOT being a burden, it is what friends are for. Most people want to help they just don't know what to do. IF someone offers help...TAKE IT!!!!!!!

PM me if you need to talk


April 22, 2006, 09:01 AM
HKUSP45C, I work in the ER and I know exactly what your going through right now. It's never fun to see a loved one in pain. I'm confident that the medical team working on Mari will do a good job. I'll be prayin for ya both!


April 22, 2006, 11:48 AM
Thanks everyone for the advice and support. I know it seems funny but I've been reading this board for a long time and I feel like you guys are all my friends. I have been trying soooo hard to be up beat and helpful but it's really tearing me up. I know it sounds selfish but I'm freaking exhausted. I've spent over 14 hours in the ER since Monday night as well as spending all my free either taking care of her or the dog (he has a broken leg and has to see the vet every 5 days to change the bandage on his external fixator and requires constant attention to make sure he doesn't break it) and I feel like there isn't enough time for sleep and relaxation. Added to which I get the immeasurable pleasure of seeing the only woman I love in pain or worse completely non-lucid. She looks right through me and doesn't even remeber my name most times. I'm getting a little edgy I guess.

Thanks again guys, please keep the prayers coming.

April 23, 2006, 02:05 AM
Thanks again guys/gals, she'll have her last surgery Monday. she'll need prayers 'till then.

May 12, 2006, 02:26 PM
Well, it seems I was wrong about the "last" surgery being that particular Monday. She had the surgery and they were unsuccesful in removing the stones via endoscopy. They had to move her by ambulance to Memorial Herman where they have different equipment to do yet another surgery almost a week later.

She has finally fully recovered and is now back to work. Well, as fully as can be expected, she still can't lift over 40 lbs and can't do anything strenuous, but hey, at least she's awake and only taking Alleve for pain.

Sorry to bring up an old thread, I just wanted to thank everyone for their kind words, prayers and advice. They all helped me, hence us, tremendously.

You guys are the best bunch on the block. Thanks ever so much again.

If I can help any of you guys, ever, please don't hesitate to ask.

May 12, 2006, 02:45 PM
prayer sent !!!!!

May 12, 2006, 02:58 PM
You and your wife will be in our prayers...may God be with you.

Hope all gets better asap!

May 12, 2006, 03:00 PM
Fantastic, glad to hear it! :D

High Planes Drifter
May 12, 2006, 04:02 PM
We will be praying for her HK. Good luck to her in her final surgery!

May 12, 2006, 04:09 PM
Dear HK
Prayers sent to your wife and you. Rest whenever you can, she needes you strong.

CZhen, Fl

Mal H
May 12, 2006, 05:04 PM
Even though it took a while, HK, I'm glad it worked out ok for Mari. :D

My wife had gall bladder surgery last year also. The good thing about it is that a full recovery without much change in daily life is the norm. If the liver stones were successfully removed, dissolved or broken up, that too shouldn't leave any problems after the stress and healing of the surgery is over.

Take care.

May 12, 2006, 06:03 PM
Most excellent!! :cool:

Sharps Shooter
May 12, 2006, 06:13 PM
ALL-RIGHT!!! We'll keep the prayers coming.:)

May 12, 2006, 06:18 PM
I know I speak for all of us when I say that we are all very happy to hear that she's doing well.

May 12, 2006, 08:21 PM
Wonderful news! Glad to hear she's up and about. Y'all take care.

Dusty Rusty
May 12, 2006, 09:22 PM
Glad to hear Mari is up and about! Prayer is powerful, no matter what your religion. You have plenty of friends here who care. Get some rest and stay strong for her. She'll be outshooting you again in no time! :)
Take care, both of you and Blessed Be!

Sgt Stevo
May 13, 2006, 12:56 AM
I told ya it would be alright. Kinda reminds you of whats important. My Jeanne is insulen dependent. I could relate.

From the response to this thread. I think we can put to rest, the scary gun guys myth. Makes me proud.

God you gave back a gift bro. Take care if her and be well, Stevo.........

May 13, 2006, 12:17 PM
Prayers sent...for help in recovery & thanks that things have improved!

May 13, 2006, 01:16 PM
Outstanding news, HK. What a relief it must be that your lady is doing better.

Please, HKUSP45C, have her be very, very careful with the Alieve. That stuff damn near killed my wife this past January.
She was taking it per doctor's orders. It caused over a dozen ulcers in her gastrointestinal system, putting her in intensive care in critical condition. She almost bled out.
A little delay on my part in calling the ambulance and she would not have made it.

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