how to get my fiance to go to the range


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Scott Daw
April 24, 2006, 03:53 AM
My fiance and I have been together for 4 yrs now. Last summer a dealer moved in next door and we've had issues and a confrontation with him previously. The police has raided his home the 3 days ago and 2 months ago went in and arrested his friend. he's got people going over at all hours of the night banging and yelling on the door & windows till they let him in. then 5 minutes later they go away. He's back now but only at night and I've let the cops know since when they raided it the other day he wasnt there. they towed his vehicles, but he's still around. only at nite now. maybe on parole? His 2 big dogs run loose and are aggressive. even coming onto my deck and growling showing teeth at me. I've come close to shooting them several times now.

Any how.... My fiance is concerned for her safety since she's home an hour before I am from work. she gets paranoid when I want to report something to the police like his stereo at 2 am. she's afraid of the retribution. I've been trying to encourage her to go to the range with me to learn to use my pistol or 12 gauge for emergency purposes. but she's afraid of using guns. she comes from an outdoors family so she grew up on game meat but cant/wont shoot a gun.

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scooterthegreat
April 24, 2006, 09:18 AM
I'll keep the long story out of here, nor do I mean for this to be insulting to you or any other guy here.

Is there another woman that you know who shoots and you trust? Would she be willing to take your fiance out?

Pilgrim
April 24, 2006, 10:54 AM
I learned the hard way that if your significant other is not willing to take instruction from you on something basic like learning to shoot a firearm, she is probably not going to be willing to listen to you on matters that are really important to you both.

Pilgrim

sturmruger
April 24, 2006, 11:54 AM
Pick a Saturday that you both have free tell her that you are willing to do anything she wants in the afternoon, if she will go to the range with you in the morning. If she has been wanting you to go to the opera, cooking classes, or pilates you might have to agree to do a half day for you activity and differant day for hers. This shows that you are not selfish and would like to compromise. Scooter offered some good advice as well see if you can find another female to help instruct your fiance. I know my wife doesn't always like to get instructed by mel. Good luck I am sure she will come around.

Soybomb
April 24, 2006, 12:43 PM
Think you can get her out someday for fun? Just a short tutorial in safety rules, basic grip, and a .22 Not alot of coaching or technique, etc, just fun wasting .22 for half an hour. Most people seem to enjoy that no matter what.

Maybe next time then rent some guns to try out. I think alot of guys try to get girls to try out their guns and thats where it goes bad. A g26 might look small and perfectly girl size, but shortening the grip really isn't the problem, something like a sig 239 winds up feeling much better in their hands and is easier to use. Let her try a few things out and see if she can find a larger caliber gun she really enjoys shooting.

scooterthegreat
April 24, 2006, 12:57 PM
If Scott Daw were just trying to get his fiance out to shoot just for the fun of it or just to be familiar with guns that may be in the house, I would call this something "Basic". I don't see that as the situation here. I am assuming that although she grew up with an "outdoors" family, she is not completely unfamiliar with firearms. But in this situation here, she is being asked not to simply learn how to handle firearms safely and to shoot for fun, but for her safety, her life, and possibly be in a position to shoot and kill another person. That goes beyond something "basic".

Soybomb
April 24, 2006, 01:22 PM
But in this situation here, she is being asked not to simply learn how to handle firearms safely and to shoot for fun, but for her safety, her life, and possibly be in a position to shoot and kill another person.Start small and get her to enjoy shooting first. A rigorous home defense boot camp program is only going to make her hate you and shooting. If you want someone to practice, they need to enjoy it. Ymmv.

Boxerrider
April 24, 2006, 02:01 PM
Not to stereotype, but when discussing CCW with my wife her face kind of glazed over, then she smiled and said, "I'll have to get a new purse!"

Seriously though, do you have or can you get a smaller shotgun for her? 20ga or even .410 will do the job and be easier for her to learn on.

Waitone
April 24, 2006, 02:07 PM
I'd be willing to bet the issue ain't guns but self-defense. If she is not willing to take steps to defend herself then she may be planning to spring a few other surprises on you after marriage. Self preservation is a basic human instinct. Those who refuse to take steps to be reasonably successful in a most fundamental endeavor may well have other issues. She either has a problem threatening to her life and well-being or she doesn't. If she plans of you being her only defense I suspect you are being set up for inhuman demands down the road.

I've seen and heard of women who absolutely refuse to defend themselves but claim to fight to the death to protect their children. When asked what would happen to their children if they were incapacitated or killed suddenly the light bulb illuminates. "I have to protect myself in order to protect my child."

You may think her opposition to self-defense may be a perpherial issue. I think it is indictive of other issues which will surface. Be wary, be very wary.

scooterthegreat
April 24, 2006, 02:48 PM
There are more than plenty of people who are more than willing to defend themselves. But some are simply not capable of taking another persons life. Seems that I have heard more than once: "If you aren't willing to draw AND shoot if necessary, you shouldn't carry a gun for protection". IMHO - I believe that is reason for her not wanting to learn to shoot.

Mizzle187
April 24, 2006, 03:41 PM
By her a gun. I got my long time girlfriend now fiancee her own gun when I wanted her to get into shooting. Actually got here two becuase she liked on of mine so much. I bought her a S&W 60 Ladysmith which is a great house gun. Its isnt a gun your gonna go to the range and shoot 100+ rounds in a day but its nice. The 2nd one I got here was like mine excpet a different color is a Walther P22. This is a gun you can go shoot 1000 rounds in a sitting if you wanted. She loves it as do I.

Standing Wolf
April 24, 2006, 09:37 PM
she gets paranoid when I want to report something to the police like his stereo at 2 am. she's afraid of the retribution.

No law-abiding American citizen should ever have to live in fear.

I'd buy her a gun, gift-wrap it, and offer to introduce her to making good use of it.

adaman04
April 24, 2006, 10:05 PM
Tell her the high scoring target at the range gets a diamond ring? :)

bg
April 24, 2006, 10:18 PM
All else fails you can ask her if she would go to the morgue
with you and talk to the techs there about women who
have become victims from scumbags like the one that
"lives" next to you. Just explain either be a possible
victim or not, then ask her if she would consider some
relaxed shooting/training..

Here's a site that is female friendly.Perhaps it might help
her.
www.libertybells.org

XLMiguel
April 24, 2006, 10:47 PM
+1 for the Liberty Bells, also the Second Amendment Sisters
http://www.2asisters.org/
Good Luck!

Jim K
April 24, 2006, 10:54 PM
This situation may be entirely too serious for frivolity, but I have found a challenge often works. Something like, "Well, Joe says women can't shoot anyhow, so you would probably not be able to handle a gun even if you had to." This gets her mad at the MCP who made the remark (always say it is someone else's statement) and she will demand you let her show you that "Joe" is wrong.

But I agree with starting easy with a .22 pistol or rifle, or a 20 ga shotgun. And make sure she has ear and eye protection. And then encourage her to really show "Joe" up. Chances are she will do just that.

Jim

akodo
April 25, 2006, 12:12 AM
tell her that someday, to someone, you see yourself getting married and having children. You would do whatever is necessary to defend the lives of those children, and among many many other hurdles any relationship with a woman must overcome, a prospective spouse must also be willing to do anything to protect your future children, whatever it takes. This also extends to the need a child has to HAVE a mother, not have the mother prematurely snatched from this earth by some goblin high on crack. This covers all gammets of live, the woman must be willing to go to the doctor on a regular basis, to say healthy so she can be in the child's life, taking infant CPR classes, and possess the ability to both use firearms in defence of that child or herself, as well as render them inoperable if they are ever 'stumbled across' by said child.

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