Gun Ownership and Dating..


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crazed_ss
April 25, 2006, 11:28 AM
How do you guys handle breaking the news to new chicks that you like guns?

I've been seeing this new girl lately and she's really cool. We've been on two or three dates but havent really gotten "serious". Of course I'd like to, but I'm content with taking it slow for now.

Anyway.. the problem I'm having is how to tell her that I own guns and enjoy shooting and such. I'm afraid that she might be turned off if I tell her I own four guns.. You know how people are sometimes.. they assume gun owners are "nuts" or crazy :(


I live alone and I normally leave my shotgun and pistol accessible in the bedroom in case I need them. Here's a pic..
http://members.cox.net/2000ss/guns/dresser.jpg ..
She came up to my condo this weekend and I didnt want to freak her out or anything.. so I hid them away before I gave her a tour of the place. I felt bad though.. I felt like I was selling out :(


I think I should to be upfront about it, because I believe honesty is the best policy.. 'Cause if later down the road we get serious, she'll probably lose trust in me when she learns I kept one of my favorite hobbies from her. If she turns out to be a raging Anti, then I guess it wasnt meant to be anyway..

Anyway.. thanks for listening..

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adaman04
April 25, 2006, 11:40 AM
Lol, I like this topic. Back when I met my angel, she was hanging out with mutual friends. One night, I left a party or get-together early because I was turkey hunting the next morning. So, she obviously assumed I had to own guns to hunt. She didn't know the seriousness of the situation then. Now I hear "You pay those guns more attention than you do me!" or "You loves those guns more..." She knows it isn't true and just wants me to give her my undivided attention.

I usually respond with "Yeah, because my guns don't talk back..." :D

I wouldn't go out of your way to tell her. I don't see the need.

If you're dating someone that doesn't like your guns...adios!

BTW she will probably tell you that you need more guns. Haha.

WeedWhacker
April 25, 2006, 11:42 AM
Why not invite her out to the range?

If you do, however, and she agrees, I don't recommend anything bigger than a 9mm or an easy-shooting rifle. Assuming she's not a shooter, trying to handle a heavy-hitting firearm for your first time is a big "turn off" for most folks, not just ladies.

It might be wise to have your answers ready for the "Why?", too. Have a few, but don't overdo it (i.e., don't make it sound like you're making excuses), just in case she does ask.

MS .45
April 25, 2006, 11:46 AM
I think here in the south it is an easier subject to bring up. Most women have grown up with the idea that many men hunt and have guns around so there is no shock at hearing that a guy has guns. I find it more difficult to tell them that I am a science-fiction geek.:)

Kharn
April 25, 2006, 11:46 AM
I usually end up telling them I went off-roading and "to the range" the previous day or that morning when they ask why my truck is so muddy (the state forest surrounding my range has a ~2mi dirt road leading to it, with lots of potholes and mud puddles, splatter normally gets up to the door handles).

My shotgun hides in the bedroom closet behind a hanging shirt (the door is always closed), and my bedside pistol sits in a leather-bound shoebox on the open shelf of the nightstand, so she'd have to snoop to find either.

Dont have a "special" discussion about it, just make sure you mention shooting in passing on occasion and act like going to the range is a normal, weekly occurance.

Kharn

crazed_ss
April 25, 2006, 12:00 PM
Thanks for the quick replies guys..

Mentioning the shooting range and inviting her sounds like a good deal. Our range is cool.. there's a diverse group of people that go there, so she would be able to see that all gun owners dont fit the media stereotypes.
My XD-9 is fairly tame and I could probably rent a .22 rifle at the range.

If she absolutely doesnt want to go, I wont push the issue.. It wouldnt be a deal-breaker for me unless she turns out to be a raging anti (that would suck).. I doubt she would be though because she seems fairly open-minded.

Old Dog
April 25, 2006, 12:03 PM
Frankly, if you have to ask this question ... you should probably be asking yourself if you're really prepared to discuss any serious matters or views: religion, politics, having children, and my big issue -- watching sports on television, with either your casual dates or women with whom you might eventually desire a more serious relationship ...

To me, it's all the pretty much the same. At some point, you've gotta address with your potential girlfriend/mate/partner some issues upon which you may not agree, or bring up your views which may presently be considered politically incorrect, or get her used to your habits -- like how much time you usually spend watching football or hunting, fishing or playing poker with your buddies -- there may be some issues that'll always prove contentious.

Address these issues in any relationship early, and often. Be factual, up front, and get her involved, invite her to participate in those activities you're passionate about.

It's all just common sense. Sometimes this forum reminds me of those advice columns in the women's magazines (Cosmo, etc.) -- "How do I let my boyfriend know about ----?"

Your attention is invited to this thread:
http://www.thehighroad.org/showthread.php?t=196309
And if you do a search, you'll probably find several other threads on the same topic over the past couple of years ...

tmackay3302
April 25, 2006, 12:05 PM
My girlfriend has been begging me for weeks to take her shooting but we just can't find the time, probably next week end. She's the first girl i've ever had ask to go shooting. Maybe it's because she's from some po-down town in Idaho...

Camp David
April 25, 2006, 12:09 PM
How do you guys handle breaking the news to new chicks that you like guns?

Don't say a word to her about guns until you get engaged then register for wedding gifts at Hussey's General Store... she'll get the message! ;)

http://img20.imageshack.us/img20/727/gunsbibles6cv.th.jpg (http://img20.imageshack.us/my.php?image=gunsbibles6cv.jpg)

crazed_ss
April 25, 2006, 12:11 PM
Old Dog - thanks for the link to the other thread.. pretty much the same situation. Yea.. I think ill just casually bring up going to the range next time I talk to her.. and then just go from there. I'll make sure not to be preachy or turn it into some kind of afterschool special :)

She already gets plusses because she enjoys watching drag racing and liked riding in my Camaro SS :D

Bridger
April 25, 2006, 12:16 PM
Just say it. Get it out there, that's what I did when single, in NYC of all places. Most people assume it means you hunt, and whether you do or do not it's worth dispelling that myth. If they are not a vegetarian they have no right to complain about hunting either.

Most people have no experience and so you just have to convince them to be open minded and give it a try. Make sure you start them on a .22 before other calibers.

I only had a few people who were outrageously anti-gun, inexperienced, who refused to listen to reason. I didn't bother with them, because the dating pool is large enough that there will be women, even liberals, who will be interested or willing to give shooting a try. Just pass it off as a sport or the history of collecting rather than our favorite tin-foil hat fantasies. Zombies are a pretty good way of injecting some levity to the topic

El Tejon
April 25, 2006, 12:41 PM
Wow, she's likes drag racing? Sunday, Sunday, SUNDAAAYYY!:D She has to be a keeper then.

Causal off-hand remarks are best. "Well, this Saturday I may go target shooting. Want to come along?" Something like that.

Tom Servo
April 25, 2006, 01:32 PM
Frankly, if you have to ask this question ... you should probably be asking yourself if you're really prepared to discuss any serious matters or views: religion, politics...
Good point, Old Dog. Guns are a big issue to me, and one of my favorite pastimes, so it seems odd not to bring them up at some point. Since I don't do blind dates, it's likely that anyone I'd date will have known me and my circle of friends at least casually. We all go shooting together at least once a week, and we talk about guns alot, so she'd know.

Heck, it's likely our first date would be at the range!

Oh, and don't call them chicks. They tend to dislike that ;)

ApexinM3
April 25, 2006, 04:17 PM
Being a single male in the dating world (gawd I hate saying that), I usually just mention it in passing as if it is something normal. Mainly because to me it IS normal. If they freak out, I ask them if they have something they feel strongly about & kind of equate it too that. But I don't engage in a confrontation-no point in that. In the past the gun thing hasn't been a really big issue with anyone. I get more flak from people I work with than anyone else...then I mention zombies & they back off. :D

Good luck either way, I don't think it'll be an issue.

neo-con
April 25, 2006, 04:36 PM
My wife hated guns we met. She also hated smokeing. I was a smoker and a gun owner. She excepted both. Soon I gave up smokeing.
The point is pick your fights. If the girl is not a gun hater don't put the guns in her face. If you guys are ment to be together you both will except things that before you thought you would never except. If she want to have a serious conversation about it say this " Sweety, If there comes a time when someone breaks into this appartment and starts chasing you cute little butt around my appartment I want to be able to defend you, and I want to have the best tool for the job. I would never use these weapons unless you or someone else I loved was in danger. "

Stainless Chili
April 25, 2006, 05:56 PM
I do the casual "I am headed out for some target shooting, but I'll see you afterwards", like it is a normal thing. Uh, yep, it is a normal thing.

Waywardmonk
April 25, 2006, 06:00 PM
It's amazing to me how many people are anti-gun simply because they are afraid of them either due to never having been exposed to them ( fear of the unknown ) or because of a " bad situation " in their past ( often some jerk scaring them with a gun or giving them a .44 for their first time shooting ).

If she seems hesitant I would talk to her and let her know that while you will never give up your guns, you would be willing to help her overcome any fear she might have so she can get used to them. With any luck she will be good to go from the start but, if not, it is worth it to explore her reasons for disliking them so you know how to approach showing her guns are fun and safe.

joab
April 25, 2006, 06:08 PM
"You loves those guns more..." She knows it isn't true and just wants me to give her my undivided attention.I get the same thing but in broken English
"You guns number one, me number ten"

"Well actually hon, I have about 47 guns, so that would make you number 48"

That's right I'm the man of the house I say what I want.Besides if I say it real fast in Southern English she don't hardly even know what I'm saying anyways.

Back on track
I notice that you said that you hid your guns from her but made no mention of hiding your computer or disguising that Wal-Mart comp desk (I have the same one)
Many people despise Wal-Mart how do you know that she is not one of them?How do you know that she is not anti computer? Did you hide that beer bottle?

Would you hide the other tools of your everyday life if she had a problem with them also?.

I am who I am and I live how I live.
I wont change for anybody or hide who I am and have no respect for those that will hide who they are to appease me or for those that expect me to change to appease them

Standing Wolf
April 25, 2006, 07:18 PM
I always mention I'm a target shooter before asking a woman out. That doesn't provoke raised eye brows in Colorado; it did, however, cut a lot of conversations short in the People's Republic of California.

Steak
April 26, 2006, 04:59 AM
Don't be afraid. I live by the beach in los angeles, in the people's republic of **********, and yes, even the liberal hippie girls usually are turned on by shooters, even if they fear the guns. Girls like bad boys, and even though we know that shooting at some targets in the dirt is benign, they see it as dangerous and subversive. Be the cowboy, LA girls love them! They love the silk shirt metro-sexual on TV, but the women still like men around here. If in northern California I cannot help you. That is the land of the dykes, and even eating an omelette for breakfast is a sin far worse than any other. The poor chicken!

My wife's best friend gets on my case about guns all the time. Hard Core liberal. She met a new man, he took her to the range (indoor/pistol) for their second date. Now she wants me to teach her to fire a shotgun. This should be fun! She changed overnight. This girl was meant to carry a firearm though. Very outgoing, loud, sexy, and tough as nails.

My wife is a country girl, transplanted to los angeles, so she feels completely comfortable around guns. Count my blessings for that!

NineseveN
April 26, 2006, 08:22 AM
We kinda already did this thread, some of the advice found in the other may help you as well, even if you don't carry.

http://www.thehighroad.org/showthread.php?t=196309

shermacman
April 26, 2006, 08:30 AM
Guns have always been a big help for me with dating. Sometimes I have to use pepper spray and handcuffs.

High Planes Drifter
April 26, 2006, 09:31 AM
Blurt it out during sex. Move on to the next problem.

Rich K
April 26, 2006, 10:29 AM
My girl told me on our first date that she would expect me to be able to protect her. I asked if my Kimber 45 was enough. She said " That'll do just fine, honey." Been together ever since.

marklbucla
April 26, 2006, 12:02 PM
Before you even bring it up, you can probably get a feeling for where she stands based on her stance on other things. Like taxes, the Iraq war, big government, police, etc. People who tend to have liberal views about other things will probably have them about guns as well.

I'm too broke to want to waste any more of my money on dates with a person where the relationship is doomed to fail right from the beginning. It's not necessarily just about the guns, but more of a conflicting mindset that I don't want to be constantly fighting.

gearbox
April 26, 2006, 03:17 PM
Hasn't she ever asked about your interests?

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