Funny "know-it-all" stories.


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TheArchDuke
April 27, 2006, 11:25 AM
A thread I started a few minutes ago (
http://thehighroad.org/showthread.php?t=197406 ) gave me an idea.

Tell us some funny stories about people you've encountered who'd like you to believe they know everything about guns but their actions prove otherwise.

Like I said in the other thread, at work we found a 9mm shell. After being asked if he thought it had been fired (no bullet...just shell) our loss prevention guy sniffed the casing and said "No it hasn't. It still smells like gun powder."



Share some of your stories.

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merk
April 27, 2006, 11:46 AM
I got quite a laugh out of that.


My American History teacher told us around the time the AWB sunset that people could buy Uzis and AK 47's again. I just stared at her and laughed.

Then there were all the kids in that classed that whined about how available full auto weapons would be after it set. Funny, ive never seen a fully automatic weapon in real life, and that sucker went away a little over a year and a half ago.

A buddy of mine obtains all his weapons knowlege from video games, so I get an earfull everytime I talk to him about firearms(he recently turned 18, so im looking at a nice Mauser 98 to get him).

AJ Dual
April 27, 2006, 12:26 PM
When I was eighteen and dumb. I was just getting interested in guns, and I was just legal for longarms.

I had no frequent or hard-core shooters or collectors in my immediate family to teach me, and this was pre-Internet.

I went into a gunstore and asked for a Ruger 10/22. No big deal, but it's how I said it. I said "Ruger ten ought twenty-two."

I somehow thought whenever I saw two numbers together in a firearms designation like that you said 'ought. I was too dumb to realize it meant ZERO in a two-digit year. I had read about .30-'06 (Thirty ought six) and just extrapolated it to everything gun-related I saw.

The guy at the counter was nice to me anyway. :D

TheArchDuke
April 27, 2006, 02:12 PM
A buddy of mine obtains all his weapons knowlege from video games

Let me guess. His favorite gun is the desert eagle because it can blow a man clean in two with one shot?

SolaScriptura139
April 27, 2006, 02:34 PM
:uhoh: Let me guess. His favorite gun is the desert eagle because it can blow a man clean in two with one shot?

What? You didn't know that? :confused: Did you know that a Side-By-Side shotgun with 10 inch barrels when fired can launch a guy 5 feet into the air? It won't have any recoil either. :D Oh, wait, I'm getting into hollywood now. :neener:

TheArchDuke
April 27, 2006, 02:51 PM
You mean it's true? Man I feel stupid. I'm gonna go buy a desert eagle an a 12 gauge shotgun....you know...for the zombies/demons/ghosts

Carl N. Brown
April 27, 2006, 03:33 PM
Desert Eagle and 12 gauge for Zombies (head shots only).
Holy Water Super Soaker for Demons,
Ecto-plasma blaster for ghosts.

shin_en
April 27, 2006, 03:59 PM
haha you guys crack me up. It's not the gun that can launch people 5 ft, its the ammo, and unfortunately its for LEO only... :D Then again, most agencies don't have the funding for the ammo anyways.

jashobeam
April 27, 2006, 04:56 PM
A coworker of mine was part of a helicopter crew in Viet Nam. He manned the M60. Someone at work asked him what caliber it was, and he said, "It was .60 caliber, baby!"

He doesn't consider himself an expert, but I found it entertaining.

Low-Sci
April 27, 2006, 05:40 PM
I'd be hard pressed to top that 9mm shell at work story. I only two stories, and one of them is me putting my foot in my mouth about 7.62 bullet diameters in a different thread yesterday.

The other is a friend of mine saying that his new synthetic gun stock on his mosin nagant wasn't deformed, it was intentionally bent at the factory to help brace the barrel against recoil.

Double Maduro
April 27, 2006, 08:10 PM
Saw a bumper sticker today.

"I do know it all, I just can't remember it all at once"

Lo-Sci, are you going to make me do a search for the thread or are you going to post a link? :neener:

DM

theCZ
April 27, 2006, 08:27 PM
I was juuussst barely 18 when I went to a Wal-Mart to buy some .22lr for the rifle I got for my birthday. Know-it-all sporting goods guy was putting stuff away when the woman asks me, "if this for a rifle or a handgun?" I said rifle (being under 21), and later I would still say rifle even if I was buying 9mm for my CZ75. The guy turns to the lady and says, "Of course it's for a rifle, it's TWENTY TWO LONG RIFLE. See, it says "RIFLE" because it can only be used in rifles.


I let him stay in his dream world. Although now that I think about it, before I stopped buying ammo there I told a guy my box of 30-30 was for a pistol, and a semi-auto at that. He didn't say a word, just pressed the "pistol" button.

Standing Wolf
April 27, 2006, 09:19 PM
I feel a little left out. I've never met a firearms ignoramus.

Elmer Snerd
April 27, 2006, 09:40 PM
http://www.thehighroad.org/showthread.php?t=55861

Sheldon J
April 27, 2006, 09:49 PM
and demanded his money back.:confused: Seems that he took it shooting and decided to hold the slide closed on the last round with his thumb:what: bent it backwards,:scrutiny: they took it back..at a discount.:rolleyes:

redranger1
April 27, 2006, 10:03 PM
when my grandfather had his gunshop i was lookin through a catalog for .300 h&h ammo and when i found some i commented on the high price. well there was one of these guys that just lounge around and know all and he said "well why dont you just buy .300 win. mag. ammo to shoot? its much cheaper." :what:

Jim K
April 27, 2006, 10:16 PM
And then there was the seemingly intelligent customer who carefully explained to me that the noise made by a gun was the air rushing back into the barrel to fill the vacuum when the bullet came out. When I asked him what pushed the bullet out, he gave me one of those "what an idiot" looks and informed me that the firing pin hit the back of the shell so hard the bullet flew out the barrel.

OK

Jim

Foxtrot427
April 27, 2006, 10:27 PM
"The 5.56mm round again explosively fragmented, with fragments exiting out of the top of his head and the soles of his feet, killing him instantaneously!"

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Thats te greates thing I have ever heard, ever.

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