A joke for you guys


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LiquidTension
April 24, 2003, 02:24 AM
This is an email that my (then) gf sent me a while ago. I just cut and pasted it, so don't blame me for anything in it! Naturally the Glock would have been a 1911 in my hands, and a liberal wouldn't have a gun at all. I don't have anything against Texans, so just enjoy the joke for what it's worth. Yes, they used 'clip' instead of 'magazine' - get over it.

Question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner and is running at you while screaming obscenities.

In your hand is a Glock .40 and you are an expert shot.

You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
____________________________________________________________________
Liberal Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that is inspiring him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me or would he just be content to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
This is all so confusing!
I need to debate this with some friends for a few days to try to come to a conclusion.
______________________________________________________________________
Conservative Answer:
BANG!
_________________________________________________________________
Texan's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click... (sounds of clip being ejected and fresh clip installed)
Wife: "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving, what do you kids think?"
Son: "Mom's right Dad, I saw it too..."
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy!"

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Flashpoint
April 24, 2003, 04:11 AM
:D FUNNY



Hey, how come his "clip" only holds 9 rounds?:neener:

michiganfan
April 24, 2003, 05:49 AM
don't you think a conservative would at least double tap him

arinvolvo
April 24, 2003, 06:05 AM
Or at least let rip a bigger "bang"?

I know I would, followed by a rather texan-esque unloading.

Ol' Badger
April 24, 2003, 09:06 AM
Texans reload??? I thought they just pulled their other pistol and kept firing! :D

No4Mk1
April 24, 2003, 09:52 AM
The only thing offensive about this to me (a Texan) is that my pistol would go BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! before requiring a reload, and so would that of any self-respecting texan. :D

Good post! Hope you don't mind if I plagarize....

TechBrute
April 24, 2003, 10:28 AM
Hey, how come his "clip" only holds 9 rounds? He couldn't afford the $100 "standard capacity" magazine, and he didn't shoot to slide lock.:D

Smoke
April 24, 2003, 11:50 AM
Being a true Texan it must be noted that the correct action is:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! scan.

-slide lock reload.- scan.

Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! (wifes .357)

Wife: "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving, what do you kids think?"

Son: "Mom's right Dad, I saw it too..." "let me try him with my .22!" -Draws fires-

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! -Dad firing more shots to demosnstrate proper technique to son-

Wife is reloaded and scanning, smiling at son's proficiency.

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy!" "Can I shoot him with my b.b gun?"

Father: (Grinnin') "Of course sweetie."

Wife -dials cellphone to call friends, relatives to clean up BG's friends, relatives.

cratz2
April 24, 2003, 12:18 PM
A true Texan, at least a self respecting one, would be carrying a 1911A1 with ivory stocks. There would be 8 bangs, then the first reload.

Smoke
April 24, 2003, 01:09 PM
cratz2,

14+1 Bangs = Para Ordnance P14.45 Limited

Bigger is better.

And I am a self respecting Texan. I do have a Springfield Champion with Ivory grips. Its my BBQ gun.

where are YOU from cratz?

Hot brass
April 24, 2003, 02:06 PM
The reason there was only "9" bangs, is because the smart Texan used a 1911/45 with Shooting Star "8" round mags.
That is "8" in the mag and "1" in the pipe, cocked and locked (of course).;)

cratz2
April 24, 2003, 03:02 PM
Misplaced Texan in Indiana. We lived a couple places in Texas but south Richardson/North Dallas most recently. Moved up here in 1989/1990. At the time, literally every single person I was friends with I knew that carried had a chrome or stainless 1911 of one size or another and about 90 of them had pearl or ivory grips.

Texans love their guns. ;)

Smoke
April 24, 2003, 03:12 PM
Well come back home cratz2

ball3006
April 24, 2003, 03:14 PM
go BANG, then the sound of a reholster. We Texans are good shots.........chris3

Azrael256
April 24, 2003, 04:18 PM
Its my BBQ gun. I find it just a wee bit disturbing that this line makes perfect sense to me.

Smoke
April 24, 2003, 06:16 PM
Azrael256,

No reason to be disturbed. Surely an Okie has a BBQ gun....

blades67
April 24, 2003, 10:23 PM
This has been done already. Tamara used a belt-fed by the end of the last time this went around.:neener:

keyhole
April 24, 2003, 11:32 PM
Great line though. Have to remember G. Gordon Liddy,,,,head shots, head shots, head shots!:evil:

ahadams
April 25, 2003, 12:28 AM
Badger: no, no, no! pulling the OTHER gun is a 'New York' (or sometimes New Jersey) reload! :D

lostdog
April 25, 2003, 12:39 AM
My version..........Bang! Bang! (two magsafe) Bang!X8 (golddot)
Turn over body, check entrance/exit.......compare for nextime

Azrael256
April 25, 2003, 03:30 PM
Smoke, I'm not an Okie! I lived my first 20 years in Dallas, and I'm headed straight back down 35 when my schoolin' is done.

It is, however, true that Okies habe BBQ guns. We cooked everything that would slow down long enough at my last birthday party, and there was not one of us who wasn't armed :)

Lone Star
April 26, 2003, 06:57 AM
This anecdote gets around. James Clarke's humor column, "Stoep Talk" in the Johannesburg (South Africa) "Star" printed it.

Lone Star

LiquidTension
April 26, 2003, 04:05 PM
Sorry guys, didn't realize this had been posted here before. Like I said, someone emailed it to me and I thought you'd enjoy it. I didn't claim it was original....

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