Saddam, a Halcyon dream, and Legalities


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Steve Smith
April 29, 2003, 07:01 AM
There I was, walking down the street in Colorado Springs, both happy that I'm in one of the most conservative cities in the country, and saddened that I'm one of the only four Libertarians that are allowed within the city walls. With me, a beautiful blonde and a spunky redhead, and of course my diamond-encrusted Lorcin in deep cover.

My rose colored glasses almost prevent me from seeing the "Celebrate Diversity" store on the corner, but reality sometimes gets though. Its a good thing this time, because guess who's walking out. None other than Saddam Hussein, with a dozen dasies in one hand and a handful of dancing bear stickers in the other for his Volkswagen Microbus. "Hey you! Mr. Goodfornothing tyraniccal dictator man! Freeeeeeze!" Saddam's eyes bug as the scene changes to slow motion and I perform a speed rock the likes of which Sheriff Jim Wilson would be proud. I perforate the Bad Man with two to the chest, one to the head, and one through the bottom of his Boogie-Woogie shoe, just for good measure. "Know your target and what's behind it, SadDAM!" I say, emphasizing the "dam" part of his name just to annoy him one more time.



Am I hailed as a hero, or tried for murder?

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Edward429451
April 29, 2003, 09:20 AM
You'd be tried for murder. Possibly terrorism cause of your link to him. The media'd say you was suspected of some sort of arms dealings with him of which the details are unclear at this time.

Two terr's down, another gun off the street and we're all safer now.:rolleyes:

(I hear there's another Libertarian that lives somewhere up north in C Springs...)

Andrew Wyatt
April 29, 2003, 01:40 PM
it depends if it's actually saddam.



if so, fox news'd hail you a a hero.
cnn would call you a terrorist, inbetween news reports about the iraqui republican guard storming the gates of atlanta.


if not, you'd rightrully be tried for murder.

Correia
April 29, 2003, 01:53 PM
Steve, a couple of observations.

1. Quit licking toads. Studies show that toad licking is bad for your health.

2. Does it matter if you shot Saddam? Of course not, we both know its all about the BLING BLING.

3. I don't think you could fire 4 shots from a Lorcin with out it malfunctioning.

4. Once again, lay off the toad man. Seriously, we need a moderator intervention or something.

:)

Zak Smith
April 29, 2003, 02:35 PM
There I was, walking down the street in Colorado Springs, both happy that I'm in one of the most conservative cities in the country, and saddened that I'm one of the only four Libertarians that are allowed within the city walls. With me, a beautiful blonde and a spunky redhead, and of course my diamond-encrusted Lorcin in deep cover.

I can't decide is this reminds me more of R.A. Heinlein or L. Neil Smith.

It is "open season for terrorists", though, right?

-z

keyhole
April 29, 2003, 02:48 PM
Maybe just the merely obvious, how could 'ol Saddam get all the way to Co, without someone else doing this first. Whatta fairytale.

Gotta agree about licking toads, haven't heard that for some time, JoeCartoon stuff ya know;)

Phyphor
April 29, 2003, 03:47 PM
Pretty much.... man, either stop using what you're using or share, dammit!
:D

(Kidding, just kiddin'!)

Steve Smith
April 30, 2003, 05:54 PM
Glad ya'll enjoyed my fairy tale. You know how things just come to your head sometimes.

Now, back to those girls and the diamond encrusted Lorcin....

Keith
May 1, 2003, 01:18 PM
I'm sure the Lorcin would jam after the first shot, allowing SadDAM to get his gold plated P-35 out (with an illegal pre-ban high-cap mag!) and begin winging shots your way from his position, slumped on the sidewalk.
Unfortunately (for him) that gold plated sear makes for an awful trigger pull and he'd likely pull his first shots to the right, taking out the spunky redhead on your left arm. BLAM, BLAM - two 9mm rounds rip into her perky, surgically enhanced chest and she spins away, a fount of saline and vinyl gushing from her formerly perfect breasts.
Meanwhile, you tap-rack-bang your Lorcin only to have one of the diamonds (which was not encrusted by the factory, hence not under warranty) come loose and lodge in the action. Big trouble!
SadDAM lets loose another double tap, over-compensating and taking out the beautiful blonde who so far hasn't noticed that anything is wrong. She slumps to the pavement, her bubblegun ejecting from her lips, arcing into the sky and landing in the bore of SadDAMs P-35.
SadDAM takes another shot and his Browning blows up in his face, a confetti of dancing bear stickers rising into the air to mark his position.
You run forward to pistol-whip him with your Lorcin only to discover he's dead - a gold plated P-35 slide lodged in his forehead.

Meanwhile, the perky brunette from the store counter runs out and throws herself in your arms, her pouting lips rising to yours, her eyes asking the eternal question...

You're single now, so....

Keith

Justin
May 1, 2003, 10:34 PM
That's it! No more Sam Peckinpah movies for Keith, and no more toads for Steve!:neener:

Tamara
May 1, 2003, 11:16 PM
Don't bogart that toad, man...

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