A story about a bear and doin' you-know-what in the woods.


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Zundfolge
June 25, 2006, 08:15 PM
source (http://www.news-miner.com/Stories/0,1413,113~7244~3336543,00.html)

Man shoots big griz while answering nature's call
By TIM MOWRY
Staff Writer

Friday, June 23, 2006 - It's one of those only-in-Alaska-type stories that is almost too unbelievable to be true.

But Chris Yeager swears it's the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth and he has the hide of a trophy Interior grizzly bear to prove it.

It was May 30 and Yeager was driving up the Elliott Highway en route to a black bear bait station he had set up in the woods about 140 miles north of Fairbanks.

After stopping at the Hilltop Cafe for "one of those big breakfast omelettes that are about 18 inches wide and 4 inches deep," as he put it, Yeager pulled over on the side of the Elliott Highway at Mile 97 to answer nature's call. He grabbed a roll of toilet paper and slung on a shoulder holster containing his .460-caliber Smith & Wesson handgun.

While Yeager was planning to use the pistol to shoot a black bear if he saw one from his tree stand, he basically takes a gun with him everywhere he goes, which is not unnatural behavior considering he is a bona fide gun nut who works as a range technician at the Fort Wainwright firing range and moonlights as the manager of Alaskan Gun & Ammo on Sixth Avenue.

Besides, he was walking into the woods in Alaska and Yeager is the type of person who believes anyone going into the woods in Alaska should be carrying a gun.

He is also the type of person who believes that when you stop on the road to answer nature's call, you should do so a considerable distance off the road, so as not to offend any passing motorists.

Or as the affable Yeager put it, "I like to walk far enough off the road so people see a whitetail when they go by, if you know what I mean?"

Yeager was about 250 yards off the road, searching for a suitable spot, when he heard what he said sounded like a horse running.

"I thought, 'That's strange; who would be running a horse out here?' " said Yeager, a disabled veteran who served two years during the Persian Gulf War.

It sounded like it was coming from behind him so Yeager turned around. When he did so, he was shocked to see a big grizzly bearing down on him, literally and figuratively.

"He was really close," Yeager said. "I was smelling his breath."

There was nothing Yeager could do but react. He pulled the pistol from its holster and fired three point-blank shots at the bear, hitting him all three times.

"When I turned around I wasn't even sure it was a bear," said Yeager. "I just seen something brown coming at me.

"It happened real fast," he said. "The first shot turned him, which is a good thing because he was four feet from me. The second shot went in the left side and out the right side. The third shot was an aimed one. I was pulling back for a fourth shot when he collapsed."

The .460 Smith & Wesson is set up for hunting and Yeager is planning to use it to hunt white-tail deer this fall in the Lower 48.

After making sure the bear was dead, Yeager called friend Robert Nash on his cell phone to tell him the news and solicit his help in skinning and butchering the bear.

"It's not really the way I envisioned getting my first grizzly," admitted the 43-year-old Yeager, who has lived in Alaska for 15 years.

The bear turned out to be a big one as Interior grizzlies go. It measured 6-feet 3-inches from nose to tail and squared 6 1/2 feet. The skull measured almost 21 inches.

"Its a nice looking griz," confirmed taxidermist Kevin Hickman of Alaskan Precision Taxidermy, who prepped the hide for tanning. "It'll make a nice rug."

The bear's hide had six holes in it, as each of Yeager's three shots exited the animal, said Hickman.

Fortunately for Yeager, he had picked up a grizzly bear tag at Fred Meyer the day before he shot the bear or else he would have had to turn the hide and skull of the bear over to the state as a defense of life and property shooting. Yeager said all the hoopla surrounding a pair of grizzly bears that were seen a week before on Farmer's Loop prompted him to pick up a grizzly tag.

Based on the fact the bear was coming up behind him, Yeager figures he probably passed the bear at some point.

"I had to have walked right past him," he said.

Yeager suspects there was a bait station somewhere in the vicinity that the grizzly had been visiting.

"(The grizzly bear) had dog food and some kind of meat in its intestines," he said. "I think he was close to (a bait station) and I picked the wrong trail to go on and he thought I was going to his food source."

Instead, the grizzly turned out to be a food source for Yeager. He dropped the meat from the bear off at B-Y Farms and had 100 pounds of Italian and breakfast sausage made out of it. The meat tastes good, he said, even though grizzlies are not known for their meat.

"I am a meat hunter," proclaimed Yeager. "If I kill it I eat it."

In all the excitement, Yeager never did end up going to the bathroom.

"I've still got the roll of toilet paper in the front of my truck," he said.

That's his story and he's sticking to it.

News-Miner outdoors editor Tim Mowry can be reached at 459-7587 or tmowry@newsminer.com .
Well there ya go ... looks like the new Smith & Wesson .460 XVR (http://www.smith-wesson.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?catalogId=11101&storeId=10001&productId=44954&langId=-1&parent_category_rn=15707&isFirearm=Y) is good enough for bear protection :)

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hoji
June 25, 2006, 08:22 PM
ROFLMAO:eek:

ProficientRifleman
June 25, 2006, 08:34 PM
Score one for the good guys!

Fly320s
June 25, 2006, 09:20 PM
In all the excitement, Yeager never did end up going to the bathroom.
How could he have not gone to the bathroom? If a grizzly runs up behind me, first: I'm gonna say it, "OH, SHI." and then I'm gonna do it. :eek:

zoom6zoom
June 26, 2006, 12:02 AM
How could he have not gone to the bathroom? If a grizzly runs up behind me, first: I'm gonna say it, "OH, SHI." and then I'm gonna do it.

A BIG +1 on that!

evan price
June 26, 2006, 12:48 AM
Yep, a big +1 on that... Although one may be tempted to point out the overpenetration of the .460 load...

"SH*T: FIRST YOU SAY IT THEN YOU DO IT"

Preacherman
June 26, 2006, 12:50 AM
Don't you mean "a big +2" on that? :D

Nightcrawler
June 26, 2006, 12:54 AM
Don't you mean "a big +2" on that?

BWAHAHAHAHHAAHA. Points to the Padre...

gunsmith
June 26, 2006, 07:25 AM
I am sure he had time to take a quick shower b4 the animal folks arrived

daniel (australia)
June 26, 2006, 08:59 AM
Yeager was about 250 yards off the road, searching for a suitable spot...

Shy sort of bloke, isn't he?

Biker
June 26, 2006, 09:44 AM
Now I know what Sindawe was referring to when he said that him and his bros practice "tactical squat" tactics.

Biker

44Brent
June 26, 2006, 10:05 AM
I once was camping outside of Yellowstone Park in Wyoming with a bunch of guys. We had a makeshift portable toilet, and one guy had actually brought a toilet seat to put on it because he didn't want to sit on bare wood. After a few days we noticed teeth marks in the toilet seat where some animal had chewed it up.

Everybody in camp started joking to the seat owner how a bear had tried to eat the toilet seat. After that, he wanted people to stand guard over him while taking a dump. The fellow was really obnoxious and couldn't find any takers.

Preacherman
June 26, 2006, 10:46 AM
Reminds me of a joke I've posted elsewhere . . . :D

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher, and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of the University of Montana in Missoula. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later they're all together to discuss the experience.

Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him First Communion and Confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, "WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising The Lord."

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape. The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."

Oldtimer
June 26, 2006, 11:23 AM
Back in 1970, my new bride and I only had 3 days for our honeymoon. I borrowed my dad's truck and camper, and we drove along the beautiful coastline of California. When we reached the Carmel area, it was our turn-around spot, but we made the best of it. There's a coastal drive, called the "17 mile drive", that weaves through a forested area next to the ocean, and there are several expensive "estates" located within it.

During a walk, we were in the forest, and I heard a sound to my left. A "picture-perfect" deer had stirred when he heard us. I grabbed my camera and snapped as soon as I was able to focus on that beautiful animal....but the deer had OTHER ideas!
He (yes, it was a huge buck) must not have feared humans, for he quickly squatted and took a HEALTHY dump as I snapped the camera! I was less than 30 feet from him when I took that photo! My presence didn't seem to bother him, for his next move was to do some "hygiene", for he "wiped" his rear-side against one of the trees before gingerly trotting further into the forest!

In all of the years that I've been deer hunting, I've NEVER seen a deer take a dump! I'm sure that it's the same for bear hunters, for the question of, "Do bears poop in the woods?" often gets asked! HAHA!

Ain't life GRAND?

Working Man
June 26, 2006, 11:31 AM
Preacherman, that's the best laugh I have had in a long while.

Vern Humphrey
June 26, 2006, 11:58 AM
Back in the late '60s, Nguyen Quet was the Robin Hood of Northern I Corps. He was one bad VC. We tried to trap him all sorts of ways.

One day a kid from P Company, 75th Rangers (our brigade Ranger company) was answering the call of nature. He saw a hat moving over the brush, so he simply rose from his squatting position, and BANG!

That was the end of Nguyen Quet.:D

hoghunting
June 26, 2006, 04:08 PM
I read the titled story on the Alaska hunting forum, and most of those guys don't believe his story. Since they know the area and the conditions, I tend to believe them over an internet story.

Vern Humphrey
June 26, 2006, 04:28 PM
I read the titled story on the Alaska hunting forum, and most of those guys don't believe his story. Since they know the area and the conditions, I tend to believe them over an internet story.

"Nothing ruins a good story like some A**hole who knows what REALLY happened."
-- Uncle Herbivore:p

TallPine
June 26, 2006, 07:48 PM
Oldtimer, a few years back I was hiking up in the Little Belt Mountains and spotted a bear at a distance digging up old logs and stumps and generally minding his own business. I decided to see if I could get a little closer, so I dropped back below the crest of the hill and walked carefully in the bear's general direction. For the record, bears apparently don't hear and see all that well compared to some wild animals like deer, and as long as you stay downwind, don't make too much noise, and stand still when they look at you, you can get amazingly close.

Which I proceeded to do ... within about 25 yards. And about that time, the bear proved that they really do poop in the woods - I should have had a camera to catch him in the act.

Funny thing is that the bear looked all around right before doing his business just like a person would :D

Vern Humphrey
June 26, 2006, 07:52 PM
Funny thing is that the bear looked all around right before doing his business just like a person would

But did he wipe with a rabbit?:D

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