Where did the word "Mall Ninja" come from


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Lonestar
August 11, 2006, 12:11 PM
I have been trolling Gun Forums for years and posted on a few, somewhere I picked up the term Mall Ninja, and everyone on various gun forums agree that the term means a person who is super tactical, a wannabe civilian commando.

Unfortunately I dropped the term in conversation with my wife and her liberal girlfriends:barf: and when they asked why Mall Ninja = tactical, I had no good way to define the term.

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ny32182
August 11, 2006, 12:15 PM
I first saw it with regard to the hilarious "Gecko45" guy from Glocktalk, who said he was a mall security guard and a ninja, among other things... though I don't know if that is where the term originated.

Reap23
August 11, 2006, 12:21 PM
I loved that thread! Does anyone still have it? Wasn't the guy worried about taking .308's in the back while reloading or something? Please still have a link... anyone?

PinnedAndRecessed
August 11, 2006, 12:26 PM
Please still have a link... anyone?

http://www.geocities.com/suketh.geo/gun/mall_ninja.html

PinnedAndRecessed
August 11, 2006, 12:28 PM
BTW, I'll bet the farm that the original mall ninja was a very savvy, true gun expert and was poking fun at the millions of internet Rambo idiotic wannabes.

The way he manipulated the original thread was pure genius.

Either that or he was a total freaking retard.

ny32182
August 11, 2006, 12:36 PM
I think it was a regular member messing with them. The way he started the thread garnered serious responses at first, and then he slowly went farther off the deep end, seeing what outlandish things he would ultimately be able to say before someone called him on it.

It was pure genius. That is what made it so funny.

AJAX22
August 11, 2006, 12:38 PM
Here's a link to all of the posts Gecko45 has made, somone actually compiled a list, I'm only a little way down and I've already shot coco out my nose twice...

Don't eat or drink when you read his stuff.

http://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/

Hawkmoon
August 11, 2006, 01:22 PM
Yes, I believe that was the birth of the Mall Ninja. I missed out on his pal, SpecOps, though -- thanks for posting the retro view.

6'-5" and 250 pounds, eh? IF that were all muscle it might be not too bad, but I'm 6'-3" and currently 230, and I consider myself to be horribly fat and out of shape. I don't see 6'-5" and 250 as being much of an improvement.

Anybody else notice how quickly Gecko got promoted from Sergeant to Lieutenant? The boy is certainly on a fast track to ... somewhere.

.45Guy
August 11, 2006, 01:28 PM
Dangit, all the hits have ate up the geocities site's bandwidth. I'm gonna have to wait to read page two.:mad:

Devonai
August 11, 2006, 01:29 PM
I have to agree with ny32182. I read the archive that Ajax posted, and it seems that way to me.

hso
August 11, 2006, 02:02 PM
My understanding is that the evil genius behind Mall Ninja was a member here who helped manage a gun shop and had gotten his fill of the Cyber CIA, Recliner Recondo and Rambozo crowd and decided to lampoon them.

Dan M.
August 11, 2006, 02:03 PM
Gecko45 and SpecOps are really Michael McKean and Christopher Guest and they are developing another improv movie a la "This is Spinal Tap", "Waiting For Guffman" or "Mighty Wind" only instead of touring rocker stars, community theater or a folk music revival, this movie is about mall security.

Carl N. Brown
August 11, 2006, 02:10 PM
Irregardless of the origin, the term "Mall Ninja" conjures
in my mind the image of an "expert" who learned his
martial arts/gun fighting skills from the video arcade;
like the guy who posted about using flash bang grenades
for home defense.

whm1974
August 11, 2006, 02:15 PM
this movie is about mall security

I used to work at a jr college that had a police training course, and half of the students would take a security guard job at the college. quite a few of them had a chip on thier shoulder. And a couple of them were police rejects as well.

I have heard policemen make snide remarks about "rent a cops" before.

-Bill

Essex County
August 11, 2006, 02:17 PM
I've got to travel 30 miles to the nearest mall. Last time I was there in 2 002 I spotted no Ninjas. I don't doubt that they exist, but aren't they required to wear nameplates? I still think they don't matter much....Essex

wingnutx
August 11, 2006, 02:23 PM
Wasn't the guy worried about taking .308's in the back while reloading or something?

iirc, he said he duct-taped SAPI plates to his back just in case.

:D

Q-Lock
August 11, 2006, 02:34 PM
Thank you for the links! I always wondered where the term "mall ninja" came from...now I know. Those posts make for a great laugh.

wingnutx
August 11, 2006, 02:41 PM
We were previuosly restricted to .38s and two Mossberg 500s with less leathel rounds in them, but when our team saved the life and possibly the virginity of the Mayors nephew, there was a special relaxation of the rules made for us,

HAH!

daysleeprx
August 11, 2006, 02:46 PM
That site AJAX22 posted delivers. Oh man.

Thefabulousfink
August 11, 2006, 02:51 PM
Essex County,

Of course you couldn't see them, THEY'RE NINJAS:neener:

fedaykincmndr
August 11, 2006, 03:35 PM
If y'all really think about it, that's REALLY sad. I was more astonished by that than entertained. Don't get me wrong it was VERY funny, but that's really sad. I betchya there's a shrink somewhere that would love to get inside that one's head for a few minutes. Then again, the pain and PTSD inside that head might make the shrink crazy!! :D :what:

coyote_jr
August 11, 2006, 05:20 PM
I am a Master of three martial arts including ninjitsu, which means I can wear the special boots to climb walls.

That line produced tears:D

Dionysusigma
August 11, 2006, 06:58 PM
http://www.public.iastate.edu/~tbalk/bob-close.jpg

The Original. :D

jooos
August 11, 2006, 11:57 PM
You've got to read this....From my Myspace CCW group.

http://forum.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=messagebo...2858192B3C1DF6848952
This is the first I heard of a "Mall Ninja" some pretty funny stuff.

quote:
Hello All.

I am new to this group; however I am not new to carrying. I have been carrying for awhile now. I have lived my entire life by the traditional Republican values (yes I said I am a Republican and damn proud of it!), the Boy Scout Motto of Be Prepared, and the motto Better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6.

I carry six guns. All of them are Glocks in .40 S&@ caliber with Night Sights and are bone stock except for some wolf springs. I carry 2 Glock 22s on my right and left hips in C-Tacs, 2 Glock 23s in my Alessi Bodyguard shoulder holster, 1 Glock 27 on my left ankle, and another Glock 27 in my right hand pocket. I also carry some folding knives. I carry 2 Chris Reeves folding knives, both of them are Sebenzas. I carry the small one in the left hand pocket of my 5.11 Tactical pants. I carry the larger one in the mag pocket on the right hand side with a Glock 22 magazine. I carry another 4 Glock 22 magazines behind the guns on my hips. I carry an extra magazine on a mag pouch on my right hip. I also carry a surefire E2E flashlight clipped onto my left hand pocket. You never know when you will need a light. I am going to be carrying 2 pairs of hand cuffs when I decide on a decent manufacturer and holster (suggestions are wanted). For my commo gear (I wasnt in the military but I adopted some of it into my everyday lingo through many CCW courses) I use a Nextel I560 phone in black (dont want to get the yellow one and give my reflection away in case some BG seems me in an alley) and I have a Pager with Skytel service. I also have a Zippo lighter in case I need to make a torch or something if stuck in a Hurricane Katrina situation. I also carry some OC spray (Fox labs if youre wondering)

I just wanted to share some of my experiences. I have been carrying a long time. I remember when I got my first permit. I felt ecstatic. It was an awesome responsibility I was ready to deal with. Not to mention I had been trained for it. I took an intensive CCW class that was several hours in length and have taken a few classes since then. I was like a Police Officer on his first shift. I was so happy that I had been granted the right to carry because there needs to be many more CCWers to help bring crime rates down. It is a heavy burden that we as Sheepdogs have to bear to protect the sheeple.

On my first day CCWing I went on patrol and walked around the entire neighborhood watching things with my hyper sense of awareness. Nobody but other CCWers understands what I am talking about. I walked through the neighborhood and I saw the illegal immigrants sitting on the stoop watching me with a keen eye. I suspect that they were intimidated by my presence (I am 61 and 325 lbs) with a 50 inch waist. I dont understand Spanish but they must have been talking about me.

As a side note, what does Gordo mean?

I continued walking and I saw some gangbangers. There were 4 urban youth (read black kids playing basketball with jerseys listening to crap music err I mean rap music) who were probably carrying illegally. They were talking on someones porch. They looked at me and started talking amongst themselves. One of them called me biggie (some sort of respect thing?) and I kept walking.

As I got further into town I realized I needed to recharge my batteries with some food. I got myself a burrito at the local store. It was being worked by illegals (they are everywhere arent they?) but they make some damn good burritos and nachos. I got a huge super burrito (the kind that are football size) and some nachos with extra cheese and jalapenos. A large soda would wash that down nicely. I brought my food to the table and then got up to fill my soda (it was a self serve soda fountain) when some illegal immigrant gangbanger drug dealers walked in. One of them looked at me and I knew I was in for some trouble. They were probably packing guns. Gangbangers always pack lorcins and hi-points and not quality tactical gear. I made eye contact to let them know that I am hyper aware and that they will not be getting past me should something go down. Those stupid illegal immigrant gangbangers would regret messing with me.

Sure enough they called me a racist name. (Only white people can be racist, stupid racist illegal loving liberals!). I ignored it because I never start trouble when I am CCWing. I just waited in line for the soda machine when one of them pushed me. He wasnt strong enough to push my 345 lb frame. I told him not to touch me and took a defensive posture. I read about it on some tactical forums. Its one Navy SEALs use when going into close quarters combat. (I am not a SEAL or a veteran but I train just as hard with my CCW.) My CCW instructor approved of it and I told the illegal scumbag gangbanger that I would use force to defend myself and my family (who were not there, they dont patrol the neighborhood with me) if he should continue his attack.

They laughed and pushed me again. I pushed back. I threw my weight into it and pushed him into some tables. His other stupid Mexican illegal immigrant friend started saying something in Spanish and he put his hand into his pocket. I reached for the Glock 22 on my right hip and drew. The illegal immigrant took his hand out of his pocket and I told him to get down on the ground. Then I told his buddies to do the same thing. I then proceeded to handcuff the one who pushed me and the bigger of the other two. I then put on some Hatch Cooltac gloves and searched them. All of the employees in the store and the customers started clapping and cheering for me.

Bu not one to neglect my civic duty I had to keep a close eye and my Glock on the other one until my backup arrived. The responding officers came in with their guns drawn and ready to do some wet work. I laughed as once they saw me they put their guns away and I holstered mine. They proceeded to laugh once they saw I had the situation under complete control. They asked my advice on guns and we talked. I told them how I considered law enforcement at one point but I felt the job wasnt my forte. They didnt cuff me or anything and just took a statement. One of them even offered to buy me lunch and I got the number of one of the female officers who responded to the man with a gun call. When will the liberal anti-gunners learn that people like me are able to handle ourselves and act as sheepdogs for them (the sheeple)? Anyway we are going to the range and I am going to show her how to shoot. She also expressed getting her CCW permit. Luckily I have a lot of training and know a lot of people so she will probably taking a class where she will learn to think tactically.

After about 10 minutes of questioning from the cops I was ready to hit the streets again. I continued to walk down the street and check the neighborhood out. I decided that I should probably check the local Dunkin Donuts / Baskin Robbins out. I wanted to stop and rest my tired feet but as a civic minded CCWer I would not shirk my god given responsibilities to protect the neighborhood. I went in and got myself an extra large Peanut Butter and Chocolate malt. As I waited for the ******* to make my malt I noticed one of the officers I saw at the burrito shop. He nodded at me and I sat down at the table next to him. He told me what a good job I did and how much he loved responsible CCWers. I told him that it was just the training from my CCW classes. The whole You default to your level of training thing. He was very impressed and said I would make a fine tac-officer (SWAT for all you non-LEO types). Then he offered to pay for my malt as the ******* guy who worked there called out my order.

That was just one of my many forays into the streets. What made it unique was that it was my first day CCWing. Since then I have become an old hand when it comes to CCWing. I just wanted to share what my first day was like.

*****Just to clearify... This is what the link above will show you... I did not write or post this....*****

MDMadrid
August 12, 2006, 12:21 AM
I went back and read all of the postings!!!! I never laughed so hard!! thanks

2k5Adam
August 12, 2006, 12:39 AM
My understanding is that the evil genius behind Mall Ninja was a member here who helped manage a gun shop and had gotten his fill of the Cyber CIA, Recliner Recondo and Rambozo crowd and decided to lampoon them.

I would have to agree. Seems like the "evil genius" was just stirring the pot. :p

UnintendedConsequences
August 12, 2006, 12:42 AM
Do I :barf: regarding the stupidity that is "mall ninja" :confused: :eek: :uhoh: or do I :barf: :what: regarding that CCW must be God/insane post on MySpace?

To be honest, when I CCW I DO NOT want to call attention to myself and I just want to be left alone. I DO NOT patrol, rather I stick to my own homestead and take care of things within my property line otherwise I just carry to protect myself when bad things happen to a good person.

On topic, I think that we have too many "high speed, low drag" and "tacti-cool operators" want to bes out there in too many lines of work. They are in the malls and in the LEO areas too as well as those who think they are way too cool on the firing range.

Tom Servo
August 12, 2006, 02:09 AM
I dont understand Spanish but they must have been talking about me.

As a side note, what does Gordo mean?
:D

I'm the owner of LonelyMachines. I started the mall-ninja section because the original mallninja.com is gone, and the Sutekh's site...well, it's on Geocities, so more than two hits in a week, and it's down. I'd like to gather all the various lore in one spot eventually, so if anyone's got anything, please send it my way.

Incidentally, one of the original mall ninjas is a senior member on this forum...

Oh, and Jooos, if there's any more to that post can you post it here? I don't have a MySpace account.

Brian Dale
August 12, 2006, 02:44 AM
It's a scream, Erik. Thanks for maintaining it.

RustyShackelford
August 12, 2006, 04:26 AM
I've heard/used many terms other than "mall ninja". You see most of these types at gun shows. :D

I remember walking by a gun show display and watching a guy wearing a black beret, black SAS type sweater and black BDU pants. He was asking about a Steyr AUG 5.56mm rifle and claimed he was an action novel writer. :rolleyes:

That guy could be considered a "mall ninja".

:D

Vairochana
August 12, 2006, 05:02 AM
Some of it was very funny- most of it was very frustrating- I can't believe I wasted all afternoon reading them:scrutiny:

Number 6
August 12, 2006, 06:57 AM
When I was down on my luck I had to take a job as a security guard at the third largest mall in the US. There were quite a few guys that acted like Gecko45. I could go on and on at all of the outrageous stuff these guys would claim, too much testosterone and video games if you ask me.

UnintendedConsequences
August 12, 2006, 09:39 AM
Just because there are some partially cracked eggs out there, AKA mall ninjas, tacti-cool rubes, Rambo rejects, mili-morons and such, please don't sterotype people just because of outward appearances alone. Don't get me wrong, some people are what they are at face value, that is walking ID10T errors, but some people, like myself, may wear certain things because they work well or feel comfortable when doing things like hunting or we might be wearing them while in between hunting stints during the day.

The last gun show I was at I helped a customer/business associate with his table. There was a gentleman asking me about a pin-on MAK-90 TAPCO muzzle brake he was selling who had just bought a shotgun from another vendor and it had the buttstock cutdown to just about a half inch behind the end of the wrist to make it a pistol grip. While we were talking about it and what he needed to do to stay legal (as I am a gunsmith/gun shop owner) since we were talking about the legalities of modifications to his MAK he said he would just take his MAK to TAPCO since he didn't live far from them in Georgia.

This man was in Missouri and was a Georgia resident. He just bought a shotgun from someone at that gunshow. As a dealer I cannot sell to customers a handgun unless they are a Missouri resident or a shotgun/rifle if those people live in a state other than one of the states that borders Missouri unless I send it to a licensed dealer in their home state, yet this man bought a shotgun from someone at the show.

By itself I was uneased by that situation from a legal standpoint, but the man seemed alright to me otherwise. He looked to me to be "safe" by himself and was dressed like a construction worker. When he came back around with three other friends, one older and two younger, the group together made warning alarms go off in my head because of the expressions on their faces, their body language and the way they spoke together. My friend sold some ammunition to the youngest one who looked to be in his early 20s. After they left the area of his table, I told him that those were the only people that made me feel uncomfortable at the show, even though others I had met during the show may have dressed a little odd, they talked and carried themselves like what I consider "safe" people. I was glad I had no firearms to sell on the table as if that group of four had asked to buy any I would have refused the sale period, with or without the 4473, as the men as a group made me uneasy. I listen to my gut instinct.

Personally, I was thought to be an undercover ATF agent because I wore loose fit blue jeans, a polo style shirt had fairly short hair, military surplus combat boots on my feet and I had a small folder with copies of my FFL and sales tax exemption form with me in case I wanted to buy something for myself or for resale while I was at another gun show earlier this year. I understood the perception because of my folder, but I had to wonder how my clothing looked like I was a BATFEag.

At gun shows in my immediate area, say a 20 mile radius from where I live here in rural Missouri, at local gun shows you can tell who the LEOs are with tables because they have boot camp cuts, talk with an aggressive edge in their voice and dress like they are boots in camp. Some even have a holstered sidearm in plain view without a badge displayed or any other means of identifying them as LEOs to someone who doesn't know who they are. The rest of the people at the shows, vendors and customers, look like regular country folks with jeans of all kinds, shirts from polo to flannel and perhaps a pair of bib overalls and a well worn baseball cap. Those that "talk big" generally are the mil-surp collectors here and they are just really rabid gun-nutties who read alot. I know they are harmless because I know most of them personally or by reputation from others who know them.

What do my words boil down to? Someone can look like they are a LEO but they raise warning flags in my mind. So can someone who looks like the typical safe Joe Six Pack. For that matter even hunters dressed in camo or blaze orange here during deer season eating in a restaurant or getting fuel can either make you uneasy or not just because of their body language, vocal signals (inflection, word choices, etc.) and the vibe they send out regardless of clothing.

Back on topic, the mall ninjas are rare here as we have no malls save for small strip style ones unless you drive about 1.5 to 2 hours to a larger population center. Even there the security personnel are more along the lines of the parking lot grandpa who helps you with your flat tire or a jump start in his little compact pickup truck with the yellow flashing light on top or the grandpas who take the job to have something to do and mostly help kids find their lost parents or take things to lost and found. Since I don't go to St. Louis or Kansas City metro areas much if at all, I guess I avoid the real mall ninja hordes.

jooos
August 12, 2006, 09:48 AM
Erik F
Quote: "I'm the owner of LonelyMachines. I started the mall-ninja section because the original mallninja.com is gone, and the Sutekh's site...well, it's on Geocities, so more than two hits in a week, and it's down. I'd like to gather all the various lore in one spot eventually, so if anyone's got anything, please send it my way.

Incidentally, one of the original mall ninjas is a senior member on this forum...

Oh, and Jooos, if there's any more to that post can you post it here? I don't have a MySpace account."

Sorry but I don't have a My Space account either. I tried the link after I posted it and I saw that you had to create an account to continue, that's why I reposted the whole body of the post under the link. I've been wondering if I should make one just so I can go laugh at stuff like that. Obviously it was written, and posted as a joke.... :eek:

Tom Servo
August 12, 2006, 12:26 PM
I really don't care for MySpace, and the one time I went on there (because a very...misguided person has a site about me on it :eek: ) , I felt the overwhelming urge to wash my hands afterwards.

Some...interesting people certainly hang out there.

Hawkmoon
August 12, 2006, 12:30 PM
As a side note, what does Gordo mean?
Absolutely a classic.

Thanks to my wife, who speaks Spanish, I now know that "gordo" (it is not capitalized, because it isn't a name) = "fat." (VERY fat.)

Don Gwinn
August 12, 2006, 12:56 PM
Very good. Now go back and find out what a "Cerro Gordo" is.

BTW, I've met Gecko45. Nice kid. I cannot for the life of me remember his "other" membername at Glocktalk. But yeah, he knew exactly what he was doing.

Nobody who was truly as delusional as the Mall Ninja could have lasted in that mall security job this long without being arrested and making headlines. :D

Bwana John
August 12, 2006, 07:54 PM
I loved the Mall Ninja writings! My favorite was "The armored ballistic brief case, with the NEF take-down Win 300 mag"

It seems that in Mexican spanish many adjectives lose the article of speech and become common names (ie: Gordo(fatso), Flaka(skinny), Guapo(handsome), Peckes,(freckeled)...)

One of the Cerro Gordos (Fat Hill) was the richest silver mining area in California, located in the southern Inyo Mountains. It also used to be one of the better deer and chukar hunting locations around, as long as you didnt fall into an old mine.

MountainPeak
August 12, 2006, 10:23 PM
Gecko45 always made a lot of sense to me. He is a man ahead of the times! :neener:

Wes Janson
August 13, 2006, 01:32 AM
So was Gecko actually a "normal" forummer just trolling the rest of the board for laughs, or was that someone posting seriously?

AmbulanceDriver
August 13, 2006, 08:57 AM
I've been reading the writings of "Gecko45" and "SPECOPS". And i can't figure out whether to laugh hysterically or just puke. I hope that this was really someone just trying to vent some stress and have some fun, but the feeling I get is somewhere out around "pathological liar".


EDIT: Well, apparently after further reading these guys were doing the humorous forum troll thing to try to get some laughs...

Personally, didn't find it all that funny, but to each their own.

loki.fish
August 13, 2006, 10:07 AM
I dunno about the whole MySpace CCW group. MySpace is an odd place. I signed up a while ago to keep in touch with a few friends. If you guys really want to see some of the stuff there, on my next day off I'll copy what I find interesting and post it here if you want. Just PM me if there's certain types of topics you want me to look out for.

Edit: As far as clothing appearances...during the winter I wear a black leather trench coat. That doesn't make me some type of freak, I just find it to be a very comfortable article of clothing. I've tried wearing regular coats and such, but they are very uncomfortable.

rangermonroe
August 13, 2006, 10:50 AM
and Vietnam still shudders when it hears the name of a an assasin so skillful and deadly, he is remembered decades later. I hope all of you manage to find some meaning in life, because you obviously have never put your life on the line for others, and until you have almost died, you have never lived. In my profession, you take risks that would be considered impossible to 99% of other men, and undergo pain that the mere shock of which would kill any three of you pantywaists.

I have a vivid imagination and I couldn't even begin to compete with this fella.

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