How will antis demonize lever rifles? (satire writing contest)


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MatthewVanitas
August 11, 2006, 06:19 PM
Right before the AWB sunsetted (if that is a word), various anti-gun groups had their anti-SKS propaganda all ready to go. They apparently presumed that the AWB would renew, and were ready to target the SKS as the next "evil rifle".

Not clear as to whether bolt-action or pump rifles would be next for VPC. Either "evil sniper rifles" or "those guns that you pump and they shoot really fast". Apparently pump rifles are considered to be as bad as semis in the U.K., not quite sure how that happened.

Anywha, thought I'd try and anticipate anti arguments against lever-action rifles. Prepared is forewarned, and writing propaganda is fun.

Can anybody outdo this press release? Photoshop work also welcome.

________________________________________________________________
PRESS RELEASE: PERSONS AGAINST BADTHINGS, AUGUST 2010

Vigilante Rifles: the Original Assault Weapon

The legislation of 2008 which finally prohibited semi-automatic machineguns in America came as a great relief to the nation. The banning of UZIs, TEC-9s, AUGs, AR-70s, and other implements of warfare has taken more and more guns off our streets, making our children safer and healing our country's wounds.

Unfortunately, gun violence continues to plague our communities, due to the irresponsible marketing practices of the gun industry and the duplicity of the National Rifle Association.

The current weapon of choice for criminals and domestic terrorists is the "lever action rifle", commonly called a "thirty-thirty" on the street. These weapons are especially popular among the right-wing fringe elements which glorify the serial killers of pre-modern America, and condone the genocide of First Peoples. The gun industry aids and abets these fantasies of vigilantism and murder by providing weapons invoking nostalgia for a period of racial and gender oppression, imperialism, and continual violence.

Originally designed as weapons of war, not as sporting implements, these lever-operated weapons were the first to use the high-capacity magazine for greater destructive potential. Even today, variants such as the Marlin 39 hold twice as many bullets as banana-clips that were banned during the 1994 Assault Weapons ban! Further, these weapons serve as a "loophole" in both the 1994 AWB and 2008 Bad Guns Act, in that they may be fired as rapidly as the gunman can operate the lever and pull the trigger. Functionally, these rifles are manually-operated machineguns, capable of spraying 100 rounds per minute!

While it is well known that the standard "30-30" rifle is more than capable of penetrating police officers' body armor (a fact that the gun industry chooses not to explain), these rifles are marketed in even more ludicrously powerful chamberings, such as the "375" and the gigantic "45-70", nearly three times larger than the .14 caliber rifles currently used by our nation's military.

As elements of the unstable "gun culture" seek ever more excessive implements of machismo to compensate for their shortcomings, "underground" fabricators are busy converting vigilante rifles to absurdly powerful calibers, such as the "475", which can take down "any game [sic] animal on earth." Antisocial elements in Alaska have even modified these rifles to fire the infamous "50", a military-only bullet which is capable of downing jetliners, destroying chemical plants, and penetrating armored limousines and even light military vehicles.

It is time that America stands up to gun industry, and makes it quite clear that armed "cowboys" are a national shame best relegated to the dustbin of history, and that neither these vigilante rifles nor their violent owners are welcome in our communities. After all, what sort of sportsman needs a high-capacity, rapid-fire elephant gun to hunt ducks?

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The Drew
August 11, 2006, 06:32 PM
While this piece is satire... I think it may be best to just delete this thread... Lord knows we don't need to give the anti's anything they might try to exploit.

Father Knows Best
August 11, 2006, 06:49 PM
You forgot to mention that the original lever action rifles -- the Henry and its Winchester progeny -- were known in their day as "the rifle you could load on Sunday and shoot all week."

Many versions are available in "magnum" chamberings (357 and 44).

Cowboy action shooters have been known to fire 10 shots from a lever action rifle in under 3 seconds (the current record is actually within a few hundredths of 2 seconds, IIRC). That translates to a "cyclic rate" of over 200 rounds per minute.

Many companies offer modifications to these rifles, such as short stroke kits and hi-strength, light-weight parts using aircraft industry technology, all designed to increase their rate of fire.

Etc., etc.

JesseL
August 11, 2006, 06:50 PM
While this piece is satire... I think it may be best to just delete this thread... Lord knows we don't need to give the anti's anything they might try to exploit.

Why not let the antis use a line of reasoning that is so easy to rebutt by pointing out that it was originally authored by a pro-gun person as a work of satire? I wouldn't worry so much about providing the antis with ammo in the form of silly lines of reasoning when they are so adept at creating it on their own.

I won't be surprised the day I read a proposal for banning single shot .22s, beacause their low power and capacity encourage criminals to hone their marksmanship skills and make them more efficient killers.

Jorg Nysgerrig
August 11, 2006, 06:52 PM
The pages of Snopes.com are filled with satire that escaped the intended audience and was widely disseminated as truth.

MatthewVanitas
August 11, 2006, 07:02 PM
I thought over the ramifications before posting.

If an argument can be made against us, it's best that it be out in the open so that we're prepared to rebut. I'm not a believer in the "ooh, don't let them find out about that" school of thought. Further, I don't believe that the antis particularly have trouble coming up with absurd arguments. I'm particularly fond of the fact that one can accurately say that a levergun has an ROF of 200rpm, but the mental image that such conjures up is ludicrously inaccurate.

But that's just me personally. I trust Mr Volk and our mods, and defer to their opinions, yea or nay.

Hopefully yea, since I certainly had fun writing it.

ArmedBear
August 11, 2006, 07:04 PM
You mean those evil rapid-repeating rifles and Indian-killer bullets?

Chipperman
August 11, 2006, 07:05 PM
Lever rifles:
The original Genocide gun. The White Supremecists of the Wild West used these original assault weapons to terrorize and slaughter the peaceful Native Americans. The poor Native Americans had no chance against these deadly guns that could spew out dozens of bullets every minute. The White men used these horrible to create a hail of bullets in spray-and-pray fashion that left entire native villages littered with corpses. These need to be banned. No other country in the World uses lever guns the way gun nuts do here in the U.S.

lamazza
August 11, 2006, 07:05 PM
I think the real problem will be the reloaders that make 'hot' .300 winmag loads that can penetrate forests and kill children through reinforced concrete school houses 5 miles away :what:

Zundfolge
August 11, 2006, 07:15 PM
Thats funny and all, but in reality had the AWB been renewed I believe their next target wouldn't have been any particular rifle action, but instead would have been any ammunition capable of piercing level II body armor.


Yes, they would have resurrected the whole "Cop Killer Bullets" thing ... only this time applied to rifle ammo instead of just special handgun ammo.

Ted Kennedy tried that very thing right around the time of the end of the AWB (I believe he tried to tack it on to the Protection of Lawful Commerce in Firearms Act).

Fosbery
August 11, 2006, 07:28 PM
Here in the UK, they (pretty much) banned pistols. Despite this being in reaction to a somewhat overt mass murder the government said it was because they were so easy to conceal and this banned most things under a certain length and/or barrel length.

What does this have to do with leverguns?

Well, after the pistol ban most pistol shooters like myself either bought a black powder revolver like the Ruger Old Army, or bought a levergun (or both).

Leverguns were still safe to use on pistol ranges, used pistol ammunition and were nice and quick, so many of the pistol disciplines were simply adapted slightly for the new leverguns.

In a recent government review of firearms controls in the country, the Home Office adressed many of the government/public concerns. This was basically a list of all the most non-PC stuff in the UK like semi-auto .22s, BP revlolvers and other types of legal pistol, large caliber rifles (such as .50 BMG and .338 lapua), semi-auto/pump shotguns and also, leverguns.

The concerns were aparently due to the fact that the leverguns used pistol ammunition. It seems the antis were happy that pistols were banned, but that somehow the evil-ness of pistols also infects anything using pistol ammunition.

This is of course non-sensical as the reasoning for banning pistols was that they were small and easy to conceal, which leverguns are not. Also, even relaticely PC boltguns can shoot pistol ammunition.

The other concern was that because they fired pistol ammunition, they could be 'sawn off' into pistols. This was also stupid because any gun could be sawn down to fall under the anti-pistol legislation. Infact, I don't think there are any leverguns where the magazine tube is short enough for the gun to be 'sawn off' so much that it becomes illegal in the UK so if they must worry about something, it should be shotguns and boltguns.

Luckily, the Home Office report actually put down all this as nonsense 9as it did virtually all the other concerns).

But there you go, first the US antis will ban pistols, then they'll ban anything shooting pistol ammunition, then they'll ban sniper rifles (bolt actions) and you'll be done.

Standing Wolf
August 11, 2006, 09:40 PM
The original Genocide gun.

Yep. Used by men who think little boys should play cowboys and Indians instead of playing with dolls like civilized children.

Travis McGee
August 11, 2006, 09:54 PM
Fact is, the lever gun is the "politically correct" assault weapon. A fellow who knows his business can sustain quite a rate of effective fire with a 30-30 lever gun, (a cartridge about the same in terminal effect as the 7.62 X 39 Russian). Yet in the truck or the trunk, it's just as wholesome as Mom and apple pie....heh heh heh.

hammer4nc
August 11, 2006, 10:09 PM
click here: http://www.evtv1.com/player.aspx?itemnum=253
(sorry for the short commercial, but the clip is worth it!)

==> 11 shots in 3 seconds, from the hip, while walking down main street! The original "bullet hose" as portrayed at the end of the 19th century!

akodo
August 13, 2006, 05:27 AM
I don't think this idea is 'out there' at all, even if it does make no sense.

after all, first the antis wanted to stop all the evil black assault rifle machinegun things.

Oh, and 'junk guns' and 'saturday night specials' which they eventually defined as small and cheap, but they really ment all small guns, just couldn't swing it at the time

then full sized pistols designed around 15 (and 13 and 17) shot magazines, because no one needed to own such dangerous devices, who needs to shoot so many times? only killers!

Then they went after 'very small easy for a person to hide, or a kid will think it is a toy' subcompact handguns designed around the very 10 shot magazines created just because of the above law. Yes, the antis hated that the gun industry did exactly what they desired.

There was also pressure to drop the mag size limit from 10 down to 6. Of course, had that happened, the popularity of 7 and 8 shot .357 magnums would have gone through the roof, as would have 6 shot .44 mags. Just like the attitude of 'If I cannot have 15 in 9mm, I'd just as soon have 8 in .45 acp' I think lots of shooters would have said 'If I can only have 6 (or 7 or 8) I want to make those 6 count! give me .44 magnum!)

Of course the antis would be upset that everyone was turning to 'superguns in magnum chamberings with big long barrels to aid in shooting! Just like dirty harry in the movies!' (see, short barrels are bad, so are big long barrels)

So then we would all be down to 6 shot .38 special 'mall security guard' style revolvers.....then they would be gone too.

Plus I always believed if handguns become heavily regulated or illegal, cut down pump shotguns is what most criminals would convert to, as a remington 870 express is still going to be a common gun to straw buy or steal, and i'd much rather the criminals be using Lorcin and Davis 'duce duce's and .25acps than cut down 12 guages....so then any shotgun you could take a hacksaw to would be up for banning as the 'top choice for gangs and killers in america!'

Right now, in the realm of long guns, in addition to going after assault weapons, and 50BMG, the antis are worked up over the 'Sniper culture!' which they believe glorifies 'one shot one kill' at long ranges, and that the gun industry is apparently feeding this concept by making rifles 'too accurate' and 'too powerful' for normal hunting. That's right, your varmint rifle isn't really for shooting varmints, it is all code the gun industry set up to sell sniper rifles to sniper wannabes. The antis cite that most deer are shot within 100 yards of the shooter, so who needs rifles capable of shooting so far and so accurate.

Seems to me the antis would like to sweep up not only a very long list of 'sniper rifles' but pretty much any scoped bolt action rifle in a serious caliber...and anythign that can go much beyond 100 yards.

Smith357
August 13, 2006, 09:03 AM
How about those evil long range guns like the Ballard, Sharps, and Remington Rolling blocks that can kill a buffalo from 800 yards away, with a gigantic bullet. Or those dastardly Pennsyvania and Kentucky rifles that are used against officers from behind cover.

longeyes
August 13, 2006, 12:13 PM
But there you go, first the US antis will ban pistols, then they'll ban anything shooting pistol ammunition, then they'll ban sniper rifles (bolt actions) and you'll be done.

Don't you guys have .30-30s Over There? The rifle that won Wessex?

Lever-actions = dead Indians + dead buffalo. Does it get any more imperialist and anti-environment than that?

Jim K
August 13, 2006, 02:21 PM
Three areas of very real attack:

1) Any firearm using a type of action ever used by the armed forces of any nation. (Think about that for a while! It is intended to sound like a ban on assault weapons, and they hope Congress reads it that way - it would actually ban all rifles and most anything else in the way of firearms.)

2) Shotguns, which fire hundreds of rounds with a single twitch of an insane lunatic terrorist's finger. Not called "street sweepers" by the gun nuts for nothing, these guns will kill everyone in range, even blowing holes in buildings.

3) Lookalike guns - Any device or object, no matter what it is called or what its purpose, that resembles in any way any firearm or gun of any type. (Gals, there go your hair driers, and guys, you have to surrender your hand drills.)

One proposal has the penalty for any violation as summary execution of the violator and his family. Yes, the anti-gun nuts really are nuts.

Any more questions?

Jim

taliv
August 13, 2006, 02:33 PM
matt,

don't forget that lever guns with tube magazines are easily converted to machine guns simply by using pointed bullets!

C. Rabbit
August 13, 2006, 03:14 PM
Lever-actions = dead Indians + dead buffalo. Does it get any more imperialist and anti-environment than that?

Incindiery bullets to start grass fires?

nearly three times larger than the .14 caliber rifles currently used by our nation's military.

I had to chuckle at that.

CR

Lupinus
August 13, 2006, 03:16 PM
Incindiery bullets to start grass fires?
sounds liek a sweet way to clear new farmland :D

Low-Sci
August 13, 2006, 03:42 PM
SEVEN DEAD AT THE HANDS OF HOMICIDAL ROLE PLAYER

AP - A man dressed as a cowboy and armed with a lever action rifle shot seven people dead in a bar just outside Lincoln, Nebraska on Thursday night.

Sources say that the gunman had been in attendance at a local "cowboy shoot," an event where shooters gather to dress as cowboys and shoot at targets of native americans and act out western-movie type fantasies.

After the event, the gunman visited a local bar, got drunk, and began arguing with patrons over who was a better cowboy, Clint Eastwood or John Wayne. Becoming enraged, he went to his car, retrieved his lever rifle and returned to the bar. "I'll show y'all who the greatest cowboy who ever lived is," he yelled immediately before opening fire on bar customers.

The gunman's friends, who asked not to be identified, explained that he chose the rifle because it was the same rifle his favorite actor, John Wayne, used in several of his movies, in which Wayne can be seen slaying vast numbers of indians and cattle rustlers with his lightning-fast lever rifle.

Experts in the firearms field say that the lever rifle is perhaps the most dangerous weapon of modern times, for virtue of its typically enourmous bullets - some several times the size of modern military bullets - and its ability to reload itself with a simple and very fast flick of a lever. The lever rifle has been used since the early 1800's to hunt extremely large game like buffalo, which makes it particularly adaptable to penetrating armor or passing through multiple targets. To make matters worse, the lever rifle can be purchased by anyone over the age of 18 with no waiting period, and can be found for much cheaper than most semi-automatic weapons, making it one of the most prevalent weapons of crime in American history.

After learning of the incident, congresswoman Diane Feinstein vowed to introduce new legislation to remove the threat created by lever-action rifles across america. "People have a right to be safe, without fear of being gunned down by a whack-job with what is really the world's first assault weapon," she said in a press conference on the matter on Saturday.

musher
August 13, 2006, 04:26 PM
John Browning began to experiment with self-loaders in 1889, inspired by Hiram S. Maxim who had invented a machine gun six years earlier. Browning converted a Winchester 1873 lever-action to an autoloader by using the action of the gases at the muzzle. A machine gun using this same operating principle was built in 1890 and 1891.
lever action machine gun (http://www.sightm1911.com/1911%20History.htm)

If John Browning could easily convert a lever action rifle to fully automatic operation in only a year, without ever having even SEEN such a conversion, how much easier is it for today's gangs, criminals, and gun nuts to perform such a conversion in their garage when the instructions for this conversion are easily obtained at any library?

Who in their right mind would condone the proliferation of machine guns under the guise of 'deer' hunting? Who needs a machine gun to hunt anything...except people?

Hunters will continue to have their bolt action repeating rifles to use in the bloody pursuit of innocent animals. Why should they be allowed to keep these lever action machine guns when they pose such an obvious danger to our children?

Cromlech
August 13, 2006, 08:31 PM
Some of the satire posted here gives me deja vu. :uhoh:

The simple truth is that if you let them ban anything, they will simply see it as one step closer to their goal. They won't stop there. :mad:

evan price
August 13, 2006, 09:09 PM
Former OSU Football Hero Arrested:
Assault Weapons Found In SUV

--Columbus, Ohio
by I. Wannaban

A former OSU hero was arrested early Monday morning after a brief standoff with local police. Mr.XXXXXXX's SUV was engaged by police cruisers in a brief vehicle pursuit before being stopped by the use of stop sticks and ramming.
Mr XXXXXXX fought violently with officers before finally being subdued with chemical Mace and a stun gun.

Officers searched the SUV driven by Mr. XXXXXXX and discovered 3 automatic handguns and an Assault Rifle, a Marlin 336 chambered for the lethal .30-.30 cartridge. The .30-.30, known on the streets as the "Twank Thutty" or "Thutty Deuce", is a rimmed cartridge identical to the modern Russian Machine Gun ammunition 7.62x54R, which is designed to be fed into a rifle as fast as possible while the trigger is pulled. The "Thutty Deuce" was developed to kill Indians in the Old West during mass suicide attacks upon horse cavalry and has evolved into the modern killing machine that is still used by cowboys today for the same reason.

One of the automatic handguns found in the vehicle was a Hi-Point 9mm, a weapon banned several years ago in the "Weapons Could Be Fired Sideways Ban" which passed in 2008.

It is unknown where Mr. XXXXXXX came into posession of such deadly weapons but charges for firearms violations, resisting arrest, and driving too nice of a vehicle for ethnic background are pending.



-30-

-ENDOFFILE-
-APPROVED FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE-

Diomed
August 14, 2006, 02:00 AM
One proposal has the penalty for any violation as summary execution of the violator and his family.

Not that it would surprise me, but source?

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