Osama and Whitney, Sittin' In A Tree


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mike101
August 23, 2006, 07:35 AM
I suppose most of us saw on the news, yesterday, that Bin Laden has the hots for Whitney Houston, and would like to have her husband, Bobby Brown killed.

If this information can leak out, how is it we can't find this guy?

I think, maybe, it's time to get our people out of Iraq, and invade Pakistan. The Pakistanis are not our friends, and I don't trust Musharef as far as I can throw him.

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Biker
August 23, 2006, 07:36 AM
Whaaaaat!? :scrutiny:

Biker

mike101
August 23, 2006, 07:40 AM
I'm serious. It was all over the news yesterday. Local and national. Bin Laden thinks she is the most beautiful woman in the world. I guess he doesn't have any recent pictures of her.:what:

JohnBT
August 23, 2006, 07:50 AM
And I thought I kept up with the news. I wonder if he would use a handgun or a rocket to take out her husband? If a handgun, what brand? John

Boston Herald:

"The bizarre revelations are contained in a new autobiography by Kola Boof, 37, a Sudanese poet and novelist who claims to have been bin Laden’s sex slave. “Diary of a Lost Girl” is excerpted in the September Harper’s maggie.

Boof, who wrote for the soap opera “Days of Our Lives” until she was fired last month, said bin Laden was obsessed with Houston and wanted to give the Grammy winner a mansion in Khartoum.

“He explained to me that to possess Whitney, he would be willing to break his color rule and make her one of his wives,” Boof writes. “He would say how beautiful she is, what a nice smile she has, how truly Islamic she is but is just brainwashed by American culture and by her husband, Bobby Brown.” "

mike101
August 23, 2006, 07:55 AM
I don't think he'd use either. He seems pretty partial to AK-47's. If he wants to use a handgun, I might be willing to lend him one of mine!;)

Biker
August 23, 2006, 08:27 AM
That's just plain weird.

Biker

mike101
August 23, 2006, 08:35 AM
It IS weird. But that Osama, he has some pretty weird ideas about a lot of things.

Maybe we could sneak Whitney over the Afghan-Pakistani border and give her a bullhorn. If she belted out "I Will Always Love You", she might be able to coax him out of his cave.:D

USMCRotrHed
August 23, 2006, 08:36 AM
Outside of Tony Blair and Israel, Musharef is probably our strongest ally in the Global War on Terrorism. His political trouble is that he has to walk a very fine line in order to stay as president. Trust him or not, he is giving us results and following it up with results and arrests of conspiritors in many of the plots that have been uncovered. I don't trust the Pakistanis either, but Musharef...I'm glad he's in charge over there.

As far as Whitney is concerned.....That news only verifies that Bin Laden is certifiably crazy

Biker
August 23, 2006, 08:38 AM
I dunno...the way she's lookin' nowadays, a burka might be a damn good idea.

Biker

orionengnr
August 23, 2006, 08:40 AM
Turn her over to him.

"it's for the children..."

Roadwild17
August 23, 2006, 08:45 AM
What, the NSA & CIA havent thought of bugging her with a gps tracker and leting her go roam the mountians :what:

Just a ? the AK that Ossima alwas has bedhing him; 47, 74, or M ?

CTD99
August 23, 2006, 08:45 AM
Bobby Brown might want to have a word with Osama, but he might be busy snorting stuff or beating on Witney to stop and talk.

Witney was the best singer I have ever heard. What a voice! What a waste of talent!

mike101
August 23, 2006, 09:22 AM
You know, Osama better watch out. Bobby probably has more guns than he does.:D

gregthehand
August 23, 2006, 09:34 AM
I just have to wonder how true the claims are. We are a culture obsessed with stars. I'm sure making these claims has boltered this woman's bank account considering she did just get fired from Days of Our Lives. Makes me kind of wonder when we take the word of some drama writer as truth about some crazy guy's feelings!

ConstitutionCowboy
August 23, 2006, 10:07 AM
B - O - N - G - I - N - G!

Sorry, it just seemed to fit.

Well, there is one way to find out how hot he is for her. Clean her up and schedule a concert for Kaboul. When he hits Ticketron, we got him!

That said, this might be serious. Hell, the guy blew up two of our tallest buildings. I'm sure his sexual proclivities are no less compelling to him.

Woody

Look at your rights and freedoms as what would be required to survive and be free as if there were no government. If that doesn't convince you to take a stand and protect your inalienable rights and freedoms, nothing will. I'll bet Bobby Brown wishes he had!

Sawdust
August 23, 2006, 10:22 AM
:rolleyes:

IBTL

Sawdust

longeyes
August 23, 2006, 10:28 AM
They'd make a beautiful couple.

How many prisoners can we trade her for?

Can we throw in Bobby for a sweetener?

Sergeant Bob
August 23, 2006, 10:34 AM
Some people will say anything to sell a book.

Deanimator
August 23, 2006, 10:45 AM
I suppose most of us saw on the news, yesterday, that Bin Laden has the hots for Whitney Houston, and would like to have her husband, Bobby Brown killed.
I was really upset when I heard that on Fox News yesterday. The last thing I need first thing in the morning is to have my opinion of bin Laded raised...

longeyes
August 23, 2006, 10:52 AM
He'd also like to convert Jenna Jameson, I'll bet.

So much impurity, so little time...

Sistema1927
August 23, 2006, 11:06 AM
This sounds like something from The Onion.

coltrane679
August 23, 2006, 11:27 AM
Yeah, this is all very funny, but somehow it's pathetic that Americans only successful response to this mass murderer are bad jokes--is that suppose to obscure our relative impotence regarding this SOB? Five years on he is still alive while 3000+ are dust in a landfill.

Next week the National Geographic Channel premieres a show called "Osama's Escape". Haven't seen it, but it sounds interesting:

http://www.thejournalnews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060727/LIFESTYLE01/607270372/1031

50caliber123
August 23, 2006, 11:29 AM
Bin Laden's personel weapon appears to be an AKS-74U, the ultra-compact version of the AK-74. It always appears in his videos with him, and for some reason, it has to be symbolic, he has a 45rd magazine in the weapon propped against the wall during his videos

Marshall
August 23, 2006, 11:33 AM
Whitney Houston = Bait.

WayneConrad
August 23, 2006, 11:35 AM
Well, ya know...

I get all my important information from people who write fantasy for a living.

longeyes
August 23, 2006, 11:36 AM
Yeah, this is all very funny, but somehow it's pathetic that Americans only successful response to this mass murderer are bad jokes--is that suppose to obscure our relative impotence regarding this SOB? Five years on he is still alive while 3000+ are dust in a landfill.

It's always good to mock and deride your enemy--while making sure you understand him.

coltrane679
August 23, 2006, 11:38 AM
It's even better to kill him. Hitler didn't last 3 and half years once we got into the fray. This SOB just continues to mock us and our dead. If that doesn't outrage people, they are deliberately turning a blind eye.

longeyes
August 23, 2006, 11:40 AM
Yes, kill the enemy and wise-crack. That's the American way. I like it.

mike101
August 23, 2006, 12:08 PM
Come on Coltrane. Everyone I told about this, personally, laughed out loud.

However, as I said, maybe it's time we went into Pakistan and nailed this lunatic ourselves, rather than continue to wait for the Pakistanis to get him. I don't think that is ever going to happen. I doubt we will though, because of the uproar it would create in the Muslim world.

coltrane679
August 23, 2006, 12:23 PM
Oh, I don't deny people laugh--what are the other options? Jump in that deep river in Egypt?

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