Do you tell your spouse?


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stillstanding
October 7, 2006, 04:34 PM
I was talking to a local gun dealer during a purchase and told him that because my wife doesn't like guns I don't tell her about my weapons purchases. He told me he has to do the same to keep peace in his home. I've been married 22 years and it's what works best for us. The few times she's been to my "armory" she 's not noticed how many or what kind of weapons there are. It's a part of my life I have to keep seperate. Anyone else have it that way?

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Ben Shepherd
October 7, 2006, 04:39 PM
Nope, my wife won't leave mine alone.:scrutiny: :D Even has her own safe.

Your situation sucks, BUT:

Sounds like there is a lot of respect and tolerance in your marriage. Good on 'ya.

CountGlockula
October 7, 2006, 04:45 PM
I'm not a marriage counselor of any kind, but if you keep any secrets in your marriage...trust is destroyed. Just my opinion so please don't take it as gospel.

I'm very lucky my wife is semi-supportive of my love for guns. It was a big step for her to EVEN et me purchase my Glock. She's very supportive for home protection, especially when I'm on travel for business...which is usually a week. She just wants me to be happy.:)

My advice is to keep the communications open. Good luck buddy.

nbkky71
October 7, 2006, 04:45 PM
As long as I use money from my bank account (and not our joint account) to purchase guns, my wife is cool about it. She really doesn't care what I buy.

The only 'rule' about gun purchases in our house is that I have to put 50% of the purchase price into the savings account.

CB900F
October 7, 2006, 04:58 PM
Fella's;

My situation is pretty much like several of yours. My wife has no interest in firearms & doesn't care what I'm doing with them as long as it doesn't affect the household finances. We're running over 30 years of marriage with this arrangement.

900F

10MMGary
October 7, 2006, 05:03 PM
Of course I tell my spouse. How else is she going to know what gun to buy me?:D Hell I even leave the gun rags open to the page with the ad for the newest gun I really must have;) . As long as I keep buying her gold and diamonds, she'll keep buying me guns:evil: , I'm sure of it. Besides I can't keep anything a secret anyway, so why bother?

Ben Shepherd
October 7, 2006, 05:08 PM
Stillstanding:

I took it as a don't ask/ don't tell kinda thing?

If it's an active "hide them from the wife"? Bad juju there buddy. When she finds out, hang on!!

Banshee
October 7, 2006, 05:09 PM
my wife couldn't care less about guns that I buy. I usually show them to her, and her normal response is "oh that's nice"

PlayboyPenguin
October 7, 2006, 05:13 PM
I usually show every purchase to my spouse. I find it is best to be honest. Except of course if asked how much I paid for it. In that case, a little white lie never hurts anyone. :)

Zeke Menuar
October 7, 2006, 05:15 PM
My wife and I keep our money separate. As long as I pay my share of the bills, I can buy whatever I want, and I do.

I do keep her informed of purchases and layaways.

ZM

ewb45acp
October 7, 2006, 05:21 PM
I'm in the same boat as Banshee. My wife just isn't interested. I used to play "show & tell" with a new gun purchase. Now I just don't bother.

Clipper
October 7, 2006, 05:26 PM
My biggest problem is keeping her from hijacking my shootin' irons! She has as many as I do, and she's laid claim to my MKII (10" bull in stainless) whenever I get around to getting that new MKIII 45/22...

SaxonPig
October 7, 2006, 05:47 PM
No secrets and she doesn't mind what I spend as long as we can afford it. She realizes that guns generally appreciate in value so the money isn't really gone, it's just in another form and can be turned back into cash, likely at a profit, at any time.

She did sort of set a limit once. I was perusing the auction site for fully-automatic guns and I was looking at a $2800 STEN when she peeked over my shoulder. She asked if I was thinking about it and said "maybe." She pursed her lips and said "I think I would be mild perturbed if you spent nearly $3,000 on a gun."

Mildly perturbed? Hell, I can handle that.

aka108
October 7, 2006, 05:52 PM
No problems. We keep separate accounts. I don't care what she might buy and she doesn't care what I do. Works good. I seem to always imply that I probably won't be buying any more firearms, she's heard that at least 130 or so times. Just smiles and say OK.

SoCalShooter
October 7, 2006, 05:52 PM
You guys are awesome. *takes notes* I am not married...dont know when I will be if ever but I will take this play from your playbooks. Thanks guys.

Dave R
October 7, 2006, 05:59 PM
I always consult with my wife before any major purchase, including firearms. We both need to know the financial sitaution. She keeps me on budget. She always knows when I'm buying one.

BlkHawk73
October 7, 2006, 06:13 PM
I kinda gotta do he same thing. It's a don't ask, don't tell method I use. So long as all the bills are continually paid she gets her shopping done and I get mine done. All are happy. She wouldn't approved of the costs for my items any more than I would for what she buys. Currently our situation is as such that I can spend a bit than I used to so I'm trying to grab the pricier ones now leaving the more comon and therefore less costly items for another time or as gifts.

Detachment Charlie
October 7, 2006, 06:24 PM
She:
Is that new?:scrutiny:

Me:
What? This old thing? I just lost enough weight so my finger can wrap around the trigger again. It's been in the back of the closet for years. Do you think this holster makes me look fat?:neener:

Glockfan.45
October 7, 2006, 06:32 PM
I always show her my new purchases. She doesnt really care either way. Once she was looking over my shoulder while I was glancing at Bushmasters website. She looked at the price and said "$1,300 is that what yours cost?" to which I reply no of course not the manufacturers price is always higher than the dealer. I bought mine on sale for $500.00 ;) Hell I got an even better deal on my Kimber only $300.00 :D .

Ala Dan
October 7, 2006, 06:34 PM
My lovely wifey knows very little 'bout my personal firearms purchases~!;)
And, I plan on keep'in it that way.:D

Pilgrim
October 7, 2006, 06:39 PM
The ex-PMS was into dog shows, and the price of a show quality puppy was about the same as a good pistol. She bought a puppy, I got a gun.

Pilgrim

M2 Carbine
October 7, 2006, 06:54 PM
I taught my Wife to shoot before we got married (1965). She was always good at it but shooting was mever at the top of Her list of things to do. We had an allowance thing that worked out well. She bought much of my shooting equipment and a good number of my guns.

Every time I came home from a gun shot I'd show Her what I bought.:)


About 1971 I had been laid off and money was tight.
I came home from town and told my Wife about a M1 Garand I saw. I had wanted one for years.
She said, Go buy it.
I said, No money is too thght and I don't know when I'll get a job.
She said, Get back in the car and go get the rifle, we'll be OK.

Glockfan.45
October 7, 2006, 07:00 PM
M2 Carbine your wife rocks. Have her mentor mine please :D .

Sisco
October 7, 2006, 07:09 PM
I've been married 25 years without so much as an argument. We always discuss where the money goes and even though she doesn't share intrest my hobbies (guns and motorcycles) she has never objected unless money was tight and better used on things we need other than things we want.

offthepaper
October 7, 2006, 07:50 PM
I used to tell my wife about any FA purchase.
Now, I dont have to tell my ex-wife about anything. :neener:

Gtab
October 7, 2006, 07:55 PM
My girlfriend's pretty okay with them existing, just gets annoyed that I spend so much money on the things.

She leaves well enough alone after she vents for a few minutes, though, and it never causes any real tension. It's kinda her way of saying, "Boys will be boys" but with some :fire: thrown in for good measure.

It's kinda cute really




(...And she has a secret fetish for my handguns and other manly items, so I know it's mostly an act.)

CliffH
October 7, 2006, 08:00 PM
Got a great wife myself! :D No secrets here.

She'd never shot a gun before but she helped pick out the S&W 642. She then got her CCW.

When she saw how much I really wanted the Marlin 336, (OK, I did whine a lot) she insisted I buy it along with a couple hundred worth of rounds, cleaning supplies etc..

She'd never ridden a motorcycle before meeting me, she now has her own quad & is looking forward to our next street bike.

Banshee
October 7, 2006, 08:23 PM
I just spent over $3000 for a rifle and the little women never said a word.:)

craig
October 7, 2006, 08:50 PM
i have to hide my purchases as long as i can.

once the wife sees a new gun, the first question out of her mouth is"does it come in stainless?":what:

i'm gonna start buying guns that come in black/blue only. that way i don't have to get her a stainless version.:D

now another problem has come up. the 12 y.o. stepdaughter doesn't care what color the gun is, as long as it goes boom.:eek:

hkenvy91
October 7, 2006, 08:53 PM
i try to keep my guns seperate from my wife. if she actually knew how much they really cost, i'd be shot!!:evil:


honey the usp45tac was only $300 i swear!;)

jjohnson
October 7, 2006, 09:04 PM
Nah, somewhere in the middle there.

I don't overspend and strain the budget, but there ARE a couple of lookalikes around here - like identical Rossi 92's (.357, .45LC) that are never seen together, kinda like Batman and Bruce Wayne. My wife shoots, but frankly doesn't inventory my firearms (and neither do I). No point in trying to get very sneaky about it though - kinda like trying to keep a girlfriend secret - the missus will figure it out (WHY are you SMILING AGAIN? :fire: ) Women have a way of figuring stuff out if you really want to hide something, just ask my ex. :banghead:

It's the same deal though, with politics - if it's an irritant, there's no point in bringing it up at home unless you're willing to live a life where you have to ask yourself everytime you come home if your key will still fit in the door.:barf: You don't have to compromise being the 'firearms enthusiast' you are anymore than you have to give up your politics or whatever - you just need to know to be discrete enough to NOT rub your lady's nose in it.:scrutiny:

hkenvy91
October 7, 2006, 09:27 PM
well its not that bad for me anymore . she gets her stuff too ,house / new sectional couch/kitchen upgrades in house/and another child:) 2nd one on the way! i got one gun this year

springmom
October 7, 2006, 09:43 PM
My husband and I take turns buying guns. We're trying to decide if it's his turn now, since I just traded my XD for a Browning HiPower. I said since that didn't involve writing a three-figure check that it doesn't count. :neener:

I don't keep things from my husband, he doesn't keep things from me. That's the way we've always been. I do understand what you're saying though, and if she's willing to turn a blind eye, you know, that's okay. It could be a whole lot worse.

Springmom, who wants a Bushmaster next.... :D

PlayboyPenguin
October 7, 2006, 10:00 PM
Those are some nice deals you guys are getting on some of those firearms. You must shop at the same place I do. I just got a Walther PPK and a Kahr MK40 Elite for "around $500".

hkenvy91
October 7, 2006, 10:07 PM
:D lmao , what this old thing , im holdin it for a friend honey<new ar15>

torpid
October 7, 2006, 10:26 PM
Zeke Menuar:
My wife and I keep our money separate. As long as I pay my share of the bills, I can buy whatever I want, and I do.

I do keep her informed of purchases and layaways.

Same here.
No money dramas ever!

:D

SoCalShooter
October 7, 2006, 10:32 PM
I always tell my parents I am borrowing the guns *looks over at new superblack hawk* :neener:

Glockfan.45
October 7, 2006, 10:36 PM
Hmmm...........heres a thought. If I die first some lucky bastards going to get one hell of a deal on some guns. Just imagine it $300.00 AR's, $150.00 Kimbers, $50.00 870's. I better leave the reciepts in my will so she knows what they are really worth.

Glockamolie
October 7, 2006, 10:37 PM
Here's my angle: I don't fish, I don't hunt (I'm glad others enjoy it, and I FULLY support their right to), and I don't watch sports. I don't run around, and I don't hang out in bars. All of those are expensive, and a few are damaging to a relationship, when done in excess. I go to work, and I come home. I have a few small vices, which are working on the occasional hot rod, and buying a gun here or there. Can I puleeeeease live just a little? :)

RH822
October 7, 2006, 10:41 PM
My wife holds the check book in our family, otherwise my bills would never get paid. However, I must admit that she does a very good job of spoiling me ROTTEN! I'll be married to her for 25 years this November and wouldn't have it any other way.

RH

XD Fan
October 8, 2006, 01:23 AM
There was a very interesting thread not to long ago about how you intended to dispurse you firearms after your death. One really funny post said that he just hoped his wife did not sell his guns for what he told her he paid for them. I laughed and laughed.

As for me, money is really too tight for those kind of shenanigans. If I buy a $500 gun, it will make a big impact on the budget, so we have to plan for those items just like we plan for new furnitiure or jewelry. More importantly though, I must always be honest with her!

btsyshsbnd
October 8, 2006, 01:43 AM
I'm in the same boat as RH822 can't balance a checkbook to save my life. Here's her take of buying a new gun, are the bills paid? is there anything we need more? go for it. we had stopped in at a local gun store and I was looking at a pistol. she came up and asked, "what's that?" I told her it was a taurus pt92 in s.s. she asked if that was the gun I used to carry when I lived in va but had to sell when I blew up an engine. I told her it was the same. she asked how much, I told her, she said was that a good price, I told her it was 250.00 off retail. she handed me the checkbook and said don't take too long. after I picked myself up off the floor I filled out the paperwork and three days later took it home. do I have a great wife or what.

Limeyfellow
October 8, 2006, 01:48 AM
My wife was a decent shot while I was still sitting on the potty. She had more firearms than I do, so I not had that problem. My biggest problem is justifying the need for a Lee Enfield from every manufacturer and types.

Dr. Dickie
October 8, 2006, 05:31 AM
Stillstanding, is that "new member", or "newlywed"?:p
Just kidding.
The wife has no idea, and she doesn't want to know (and I sure don't want her to know either:what: ), but I really think she kinda does know, ya know.:evil:

Bruce333
October 8, 2006, 07:43 AM
I'm not married, but my GF does live with me. Her money is hers, and my money is mine, as long as all the bills are paid and the kids have food, it's none of her business how much I spend on myself.

I just bought an AR15 stripped lower at a gun show yesterday and she never even asked how much it cost me...or how much it would cost to complete it.

garyk/nm
October 8, 2006, 08:15 AM
Like a lot of you, my wife doesn't care for guns, but doesn't begrudge me my hobby. For her it's a financial thing. If we can afford it, go for it.
Now my GF, OTOH, loves to go shooting.
Ooops. :o
What, you guys don't have both??? :evil:

MrMushiMushi
October 8, 2006, 11:46 AM
She got me into shooting exactly 1 year ago today so it's not really problem for us. We just buy in increments of 2, SA in some HD for me, Revolver in large caliber for her.

Keith Wheeler
October 8, 2006, 11:53 AM
The only time I don't tell my wife about a firearms purchase is when I'm buying a present for her.

bruss01
October 8, 2006, 11:56 AM
We've got a similar arrangement to many here... we both go in halves on household expenses, and the remainder of our paychecks is our own personal discretionary income.

She likes knitting and books, and I like guns, and that's how we spend our respective "play money".

She once tried to get me into knitting, saying it'd be fun, I'd enjoy it. I asked "So if I get some steel wool, can I knit myself a gun?" You should have seen the look I got.

Too many couples fight about money. Having separate funds, and being equal partners in household expenses, takes all the "fight" out of the money situation. We both do whatever we want, money-wise, no secrets, and never a cross word is spoken. Gotta love it. Of course I do make more money than her, but my toys are more expensive. And OF COURSE I do spoil her with gifts and special pleasures (a night out or something else I know she specially enjoys) so she never gets TOO jealous of my hard-earned success. :)

kahr404life
October 8, 2006, 12:00 PM
I used too do that but then my sons got old enough to say, "Dad I like your new gun." Now I tell her when I make a purchase and show it to her. She now will let me buy what I want and she even bought a S&W 45 for a gift.:)

wingnutx
October 8, 2006, 01:01 PM
I rarely get to buy a new one, so no I don't keep it secret.

Lupinus
October 8, 2006, 01:24 PM
22 years?

Sounds like it works fine.

I am a firm believer that two people don't need to share all the same interests or even like some interests of the other, mostly sure but not all. What is needed is the respect to be ok with their hobby even if you don't care for it and sometimes don't ask don't tell works just fine.

Tsonda
October 8, 2006, 07:52 PM
Do you tell your guns about your spouse? It sounds like you and the wife have found a way to get along. Which is always a good thing.

Stevie-Ray
October 8, 2006, 08:06 PM
I think she knows about all my purchases. But I wouldn't think twice about not telling her if I'd a mind to. After all, she makes purchases she doesn't tell me about.

Damn QVC.:cuss:

10-Ring
October 8, 2006, 08:29 PM
I never used to tell my wife & I know a lot of guys in the same boat. They also use the "oh no honey, that's one of the old guns...I haven't bought a new gun in a long time!" Vicious cycle! :banghead:
Don't ask, don't tell taken to an extreme :scrutiny:

Moondoggie
October 8, 2006, 08:29 PM
My wife had her own 12 ga, a Nylon 66, and a Model 10 S&W when I met her. I only had a Ruger MK I at the time. We've been married 26 yrs.

She's a great shot, and enjoys shooting. She doesn't enjoy guns nearly as much as I do, but many of "ours" are considered "hers".

I don't have extravagant tastes in guns. The most I've ever paid for one is $875 for my limited IPSC gun.

She never says anything to object to my purchases. I've worked hard all of my life, and guns are my only hobby. We're financially better off at this age than we ever thought we'd be, so she doesn't give me any grief.

It's all good.

Green Lantern
October 8, 2006, 08:52 PM
To my standard disclaimers in the sig, I'll add "I am not a qualified marriage counselor!" ;)

But IMO, if you hide your purchases because your spouse is an anti, OR they don't want you spending the money...not a great situation.:scrutiny:

Personally, I'd never get seriously involved with an "anti," unless she was really on the fence about "converting!" :D

txgho1911
October 8, 2006, 09:20 PM
Well I am just not going to pass on a $1400 TRP for 1K. Just so happens it looks like the SA Loaded she knows I carry all the time so maybe she will not be to excited about it when she finds out. I will tell her. Dates and amounts will change to protect the innocent. Just the second pistol and a must buy price wise and standby wise. Hard to carry all the time if I put it in the shop to tune up a trigger and replace a few parts.

PS it would help if I close this browser.

bjthejob
October 8, 2006, 09:48 PM
Yes, I not only tell her but also involve her as much as possible in the purchase and showing it off. I'm trying to get her more involved in guns.

f4t9r
October 8, 2006, 10:16 PM
My wife has no interest in firearms & doesn't care what I'm doing with them as long as it doesn't affect the household finances.
Thats the way it works at my place and has for 30 years

Jeff F
October 8, 2006, 11:03 PM
Some things I tell and some things I don’t. Firearm purchases are almost always known about in advance and my wife will sometimes do the leg work looking for the best price. A couple of times I told her what I was wanting to get and it was waiting for me when I got home from work. I’m a foreman for a construction company that’s working on what will be the largest industrial park in the United States when its finished 160,000 + acres. We have had a few business meetings at the Wild Horse Ranch that is owned by the real estate agent for the park. She doesn’t ask and I don’t tell. It’s really just a couple of beers and going over some plans but I feel what she dosen't know can't hurt me.

hso
October 8, 2006, 11:10 PM
No

Whatever works for you guys.

thexrayboy
October 9, 2006, 01:45 AM
I try not to tell her about what guns I buy. She just doesn't understand the
"disease" that has to be treated periodically with the acquisition of a new gun. I tried to tell her it was no different than the 300+ pairs of shoes she has but she failed to see it that way. So she has her walk in closet full of clothes and I have my office with its own walk in closet full of my needs! The less she knows the better off I am.

marklbucla
October 9, 2006, 01:59 AM
She wants me to move back to Los Angeles when we're done with school. Though we lived 3 blocks away from each other, I really don't want to go back.

At first, I hid it from her, but I told her that even if I were into machine guns now, she can't stop me. I'm going to be paying at least $500K over what I'd have to for the same house in Free America, am going to sit in traffic for an extra hour and a half every day, have my house broken into, give up my carry permit,....and eventually have my guns confiscated.

stevelyn
October 9, 2006, 08:15 AM
If you're having to sneak stuff into the house, get permission to purchase, or otherwise having to keep new aquisitions a secret it's time to get a new spouse.

03Shadowbob
October 9, 2006, 08:47 AM
I used to tell her about the purchases but she doesn't care at all about guns so I just quit telling her. What is great though is that everytime something crazy happens in the world news, she tells me "that maybe you should go buy another gun". Of course her wish is my command :D

Rickstir
October 9, 2006, 11:20 AM
I have a very understanding, barely shooting wife. She sometimes wonders why I have to have another gun, "you can only shoot one at a time."

But I also approach every purchase logically. I buy one or two guns a year, usually for a specific need. Next on the list is an M1 Garand, next year. I really don't buy anything without talking it over with her, and she is the same with me. We are a team and that is the way I like it.

marklbucla
October 9, 2006, 04:18 PM
"you can only shoot one at a time."

No, you've got 2 hands, and 2 feet right? :neener:

But yeah, my wife doesn't understand that we "Need" different guns for different purposes.

American By Blood
October 9, 2006, 04:37 PM
I've been with my girlfriend for four years. We've lived together for a fair amount of that time.

Just last month I set into motion the process of buying a mint Tula SKS off of GunsAmerica.

"Hey honey, I just want to let you know that I'm buying a new rifle. Our finances are in order and we can definitely afford it."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. :rolleyes: What kind is it?! :D "

"Um... ah... a Russian SKS from the early Fifties... :uhoh: "

(Thinking...) "Ooohhh... One of those... GREAT! :D "

I took her shopping the next weekend as a way of saying "thanks for loving guns."

GungHo
October 9, 2006, 04:45 PM
Sneaking in guns that will inevitably be found is a stupid thing to cause a fight over. And a good way to be shot with your own gun. That never goes over well at the watercooler.

:D

vynx
October 9, 2006, 04:48 PM
I used to tell my wife about my gun purchases but finally it sunk in - she just doesn't care - she's not anti-gun and will carry one in the house when I'm out but she's not "into" them like I am. She didn't mind when I spent $900 on a P7M10 so I figure why bother her about it.

I haven't told her about my last 4 or 5 purchases because I feel like an addict - I keep finding decent deals on used guns that I don't need but can't pass up! We have enough money so it doesn't matter.

I have told her of the few I managed to not buy. That didn't impress her either.:) We will tell each other about big purchases like over $1,000.

Porky6331
October 9, 2006, 04:50 PM
I purchased my wife a S&W Model 619 357 and she doesn't care what I buy.

Limeyfellow
October 9, 2006, 04:58 PM
Now my GF, OTOH, loves to go shooting.
Ooops.
What, you guys don't have both???

I am lucky that my dog even lets me have a wife let alone a girlfriend. She demands all the attention and pettings and should you anger her she is an expert of Paw Kwon Do and hitting the balls everytime.

AJ Dual
October 9, 2006, 04:59 PM
I didn't but finances were in order, and I funded my purchases in such a way that they didn't impact them either.

And with all our baby daughters, it's been a few years since I've bought anything anyway, and when I did, it was all C&R stuff well under $100, so none of it fell under the "major purchase" category anways.

I've also sold guns to cover money for "emergencies" too.

So I'm in the "don't ask, don't tell, but don't actively sneak" category too. My last "fix" was an additional 12 firearms from my granfather's estate.

I will say though if you've got an indifferent/anti wife, having that "Critical Mass" in the collection is key.

Mannlicher
October 9, 2006, 06:22 PM
My wife and I have an arrangement. If the bills are paid, our future planning (Roth IRA, IRA, ect) is fully funded, and there is discretionary income available, then we can do as we please.
I don't look in her jewelry safe, and she does not poke around in my gun safes.

Turkey Creek
October 9, 2006, 06:48 PM
My wife is retired from teaching but I'm still working, and they wonder why we die first- On the good side, when I buy a new gun I just tell her that a package will be arriving soon and to watch for it- Sometimes she want's to know what it is, sometimes not- Latest buy is a 1864 Snider, and she wondered why I would want a gun that old- I didn't bother to explain- Of course it works the same way when I notice a new pair of shoes in her closet- To each his or her own- Works for us

ctdonath
October 9, 2006, 06:51 PM
She WILL find out.

Haven't always been, er, prompt in filling her in (usually because there was too much on her plate at the time), but she does find out. Sooner told the better. Best way to defuse the "that's a lot of money" problem is selling, or threatening to sell, other guns & gear. Having done so, she sees I'm serious about wanting the new item, even at the cost of sacrificing owned items I'd rather not part with - and she relents and supports the decision, even to the point of objecting to me selling stuff to cover it.

Negotiating for items can work out nicely & oddly. According to her I can buy a .50BMG - so long as I take her to Austria to pick it up from the factory in person.

The biggest factor is being financially solvent. So long as money isn't tight - and she gets the big-ticket stuff she wants - buying worthwhile stuff isn't a problem. When it competes with basic bills, women understandably get perturbed.

AirForceShooter
October 9, 2006, 07:50 PM
my wife knows every gun I have and when I buy a new one she checks it out first.
It's been working that way for 37 years.
Funny part is she's a liberal from the Bronx.

AFS

Big Calhoun
October 17, 2006, 11:53 AM
Initially, I kept it from my wife. I told her that I was going to buy firearms and she was very upset about it. We ended up establishing a 'don't ask, don't tell' policy. To paint the picture of how serious it was; when cleaning my firearms (fully unloaded, hammer down, magazine out, slide open), she'd go to another part of the house (even if I was just in the next room over) or she'd go run an errand. Serious.

It took some time but she's cool with it. She's been to the gunstore with me and was very fascinated by the range. Even got a little initiation by the staff after she called a gun 'cute'. She knows how to operate a couple of my pistols and we're working on getting her to the range and into a class. Nowadays, the only ones she doesn't know about are the spontaneous purchases. :evil:

But hey, you have to do what works for your particular relationship. My wife and I talk about everything so it was only natural to try to engage her and talk about her fear of guns. I don't envision we'll be planning range weekends together any time soon, but it is at least a comfortable situation.

I will tell ya though, when you have to be sneaky, it's hard with firearms. I'm a computer guy and new devices and components just blend in with one another..."Oh honey, I had that for months. Was actually thinking about e-baying it". Firearms....she counts each and every one. I wouldn't be surprised if she keeps her own list of the serial numbers. :eek:

Now, if I can only think of a way to officially add the P2000 SK to the family...

2400
October 17, 2006, 12:17 PM
Mine knows about every one of my purchases. She even picks out new ones for me to buy. :D

ddc
October 17, 2006, 04:41 PM
I picked up a LNIB S&W 60LS.

Brought it home. My wife saw it and said: "Oh that's cute. Let's go to the range."

Now I guess it is hers...

WolfMansDad
October 17, 2006, 07:33 PM
My wife knows about all my guns. Keeping secrets is not conducive to a healthy marriage, in my opinion. Then again, I have very few (guns, not wives) and don't plan on buying any more in the near future.

In fact, my wife was the one who suggested the first gun purchase of my "adult" life. We had an unsettling experience camping once, and two weeks later we saw on the news that a man had kidnapped and raped two teenage girls in the area where we had been camping. (He was killed in a shootout with police. The girls survived.) I remember turning to my wife and saying, "Ever since we got back from our trip, I've been thinking of buying a gun." Then she said, "Honey, that's a great idea. I'll go with you to the store!"

jenniferjane
October 17, 2006, 11:00 PM
I don't complain about my husband's electronics purchases, and he doesn't care about my firearm purchases.

He rolls his eyes occasionally, but then I point to his new laptop or the projector, and we reach an understanding quickly.

So long as we each pay our own bills, we're good.

Jen

swingset
October 18, 2006, 12:49 AM
I keep no secrets from my wife. Guns are part of our household, and she knows when I buy one.

ordonnanzgewehr
October 18, 2006, 09:12 AM
I have to sneak them into the house,
once they're in there she's none the wiser. She sees guns as a monitary drain on the family finances. I could live at the bar like so many, but I don't. Quit drinkin', quit smokin', don't wear fancy clothes, don't have any other expensive hobbies. At the end of the day I do have something to show for that appreciates in value. No gentlemen, telling her the truth would be much uglyer than having her not get hurt by what she doesn't know. I am an honest person and it goes completely against my grain to have to do this, but she just doesn't understand. :banghead:

Flopsy
October 18, 2006, 03:32 PM
She sometimes gets exasperated when I want to keep buying them, she doesn't understand why I'd need so many...but I tell her the truth.

Yes honey, that is a very valid point that I really don't need another gun.

You are correct.

You may come with me to the shop while I pick it up if you like.

MD_Willington
October 18, 2006, 04:16 PM
Yes.

Last night I also checked out a few pistols and a few rifles... I told my wife about the rifles, she said, get the .223 :eek:

We went shooting with friends, she's not keen on the pistols, but her friend's (female friend) rifle may have got her hooked :evil:

Art Eatman
October 18, 2006, 06:17 PM
I never had any sort of problem about guns at home. Any gal I ever dated who was snippy about guns didn't get dated thereafter. My first wife like to shoot. So, as long as the basics of financial security were okay, we bought me-stuff and her-stuff.

After we broke up, I had a few gals who seemed to think I'd be good husband-material if they could retrain me away from shooting and hunting. That was a one-time mistake. :D

The present BossLady is a good shot with a .22, and is quite willing to use here Model 36 if need be. Good lady.

:), Art

CTI1USNRET
October 18, 2006, 10:56 PM
My wife would notice a new gun and would take it as a cue to buy another of her own.

She carries.

liberalgunnut
October 18, 2006, 11:24 PM
My wife told me that I couldn't have a tv in my office until I got at least 9mm for home defense (I mostly shoot small caliber target, bench)

Now I can clean my 9mm and watch tv. :D

Spieler
October 19, 2006, 04:44 AM
I do not conceal my firearm purchases from my wife, and she does not give me any grief over them, as long as what I spend is reasonable and the family budget allows for it.

Basically she doesn't bitch if I am not taking food out of the kids' mouths. In fact, on my last purchase she encouraged me to get it and not worry about it since we had the money and it was a gun I had wanted for some time.

She's a keeper.:)

gwhall57
October 19, 2006, 03:06 PM
With the first pistol. I told the wife immediately. With the second pistol, that I bought on my personal plastic, I told her after a couple of weeks.

When it comes to the joint checking account, we discuss any purchase over $100.

Art Eatman
October 19, 2006, 03:23 PM
Come to think about it, the first Ruger Blackhawk I brought home, my wife's comment was, "Hey, that's neat!" So I went back and bought a 1911 for me.

:), Art

JLStorm
October 19, 2006, 03:46 PM
I find its easier to ask forgiveness than for permission :evil: My wife doesnt mind that I am buying guns, she just wonders why I need another gun instead of saving for a house. Of course I have only bought one new gun in the last 2 years, but I am always buying new parts and tools to play with my 1911's and she does get a litle annoyed. My problem is that she doesnt spend money on ANYTHING, no soes, no clothes, nothing, so its hard for me justify in comparison her purchases....

She is getting better, when we met she wouldnt even hug me if I was carrying a gun, now she thinks they make a nice centerpiece on the coffee if I while I let them "air out" after I am done cleaning them as long as they dont smell to strongely of hoppes ;)

On the flip side, she is very interested in working for my company doing some investigative leg work, and I told her she could only do it if she got her CCW, she is considering it...once I get her, her own gun I have a feeling I will have an easier time purchasing other accessories (crossing my fingers)

kd7nqb
October 19, 2006, 04:48 PM
I have never been married but have witnessed how many different couples deal with this but first my quick story.

I recently finished dating an MAJOR anti-gunner (despite that her mother was an avid IPSC competitor) and everytime something started to turn into an argument she would ask if I had my guns in the apartment. As if I was going to use them to settle the argument. She also claimed that I was paranoid for thinking that guns are necesary to maintain security.

Second story my parents, my mother has always kinda had a dont ask dont tell policy on guns. She doesn't care for them but is not anti gun. Now that I am starting to purchase my own firearms she has learned to deal with it more but still a tepid subject.

Finally my boss, this is proboly the most amusing situation I have heard yet. When he got married he had quite a collection but his wife said he could only add a gun to the collection at the same rate she gave birth. One gun for each kid. Well he now has 3 kids and a while back he was hoping for twins.

liberalgunnut
October 19, 2006, 05:27 PM
Hey Portland... I'm across the street from Portland in LO, literally

My neighbor had 5 guns before breaking it to his wife that he had "a" gun (pretty much anti-gun) at one point he wanted to keep the new ones at my place but when my wife told him that we'd get to keep them if he did that he had second thoughts... :c)

Guy B. Meredith
October 19, 2006, 06:18 PM
I keep no secrets from my wife--can't operate in relationship with iffy communications. Her attitude is couldn't care less as long as the bills are paid. I would like her to have more interest, but she has done some shooting and it just does not tickle her fancy.

KimKommando
October 19, 2006, 07:06 PM
My hubby and take turns fighting over which gun to buy next. We share a safe, I think my collection is starting to outnumber the hubby's. We both own numerous pistols and both of us own an AR of our own. We usually buy each other guns for a birthday or anniversary. Since we do have a joint account, if one of us sees a gun we absolutely have to have, we will always discuss it.:cool:

ArfinGreebly
October 19, 2006, 07:56 PM
I didn't get into shooting until about 3 years back. When our perceptions began to change, we started looking for a way. :uhoh:

Friend of ours gifted wife with .38 Off Duty J-frame. Sat in the box. Couldn't get her interested. For that Father's day, wife got me a 40th anniversary 10/22. I got to go to the range with each of the kids, but she wouldn't go. :confused:

Realizing that we needed something more serious than target killers, I would wait until I got unexpected bonuses, and add something that would do the job. CX4 (in 9mm) and XD40. Just kept them stashed. Family safety is one of my jobs, so I did the necessary. :cool:

She got me another 10/22 for Father's Day (long version in stainless) last year. She still wouldn't go to the range. :(

Then, late last year, her view of the world changed again, and she asked me frankly if we were adequately armed. I said I'd taken care of the basics. ;)

She was grateful and asked if there was anything else we needed to get.

Well, since you asked . . . :evil:

Now I have some specific tools for specific scenarios, along with some good general purpose stuff. Marlin Camp-9, M1 Carbine, Marlin 336C, and others. :)

Still couldn't get her to the range. :(

Then, for her birthday, I got her a little something for herself. Pt111 (9mm). She declared it the best birthday present ever. And I finally got her to go to the range. I figured rather than scare her off, I'd start her on a gentle slope, so she fired her first 4 mags from a Mk II (7" ss). Better than 70% in the "ruin your day" area of the target. :) :D

My birthday's coming up, and she's put me on notice that I'm going to have to decide between an AR and a 1894C/revolver .357 companion set. Her words: "Just pick something. You should probably get the AR." Sigh.

And if I finish painting the living room and hallway she'll come with me to the range.

atomchaser
October 19, 2006, 08:10 PM
I don't discuss purchases with my wife and she doesn't seem to particulary care as long as it doesn't impact the operation of the household and upbringing of the little atomchasers. I've told her if I meet an untimely demise where the inventory and safe combo is and to get a good auctioneer.

Range time, on the other hand, has to be approached with some amount of fineese and negotiation.

To those that are negotiating gun purchases with girlfriends...find someone else unless you don't like having your ba**** anyway. Sometimes the juice isn't worth the squezze.:uhoh:

Zach S
October 20, 2006, 10:08 AM
My girlfriend doesnt seem to care as long as we have what we need (a roof, lights, food, gas, a vehicle to put gas in, etc). The fact that I'm the only one working might have something to do with it, I honestly dont know. She doesnt fuss when I'm looking at this or that, but she will remind me of (upcoming or current) expesnses that we need the money for.

smince
October 20, 2006, 04:56 PM
I was sitting around the gun store listening to several men tell how they snuck in/hid their purchases from their wives. After a while they wondered why I was laughing at them. I told them my wife didn't really have any hobbies when we got married (17 years), so I got her involved with shooting.
She is very supportive when I want to try out a new gun, either buying or trading.

One said I was smarter than they were, and I told him I already had that figured out:D

You can't hide anything from your wife, and really, I'm not sure why you would even try.

KC&97TA
October 21, 2006, 12:18 AM
My wife has pretty much know about all the FA purchases and builds, she has almost as many as me, but when she was in Iraq I bought 3, sold 1 and still haven't heard the end of it... I don't think I'll tell her about the next, just to see what she says ;)

btw: she's reading this

JLStorm
October 21, 2006, 05:16 PM
My girlfriend doesnt seem to care as long as we have what we need (a roof, lights, food, gas, a vehicle to put gas in, etc). The fact that I'm the only one working might have something to do with it, I honestly dont know. She doesnt fuss when I'm looking at this or that, but she will remind me of (upcoming or current) expesnses that we need the money for.

If I was the only one working, I would be very upset if anyone told me what I could and couldnt spend. My wife makes a good living, so I feel a little more guilty knowing that I am spending her money too when I go shooting, since every account we have is joint (not sure looking back if that was a good thing or not). If I was the only one working I wouldnt feel guilty about spending any amount of money on anything...

unixguy
October 21, 2006, 05:56 PM
My wife and I discuss all large purchases (pretty much anything over $100, gun or otherwise) before they get made. Does she "track" my purchases?

conversation we had last week:
unixguy: I think I'm going to go buy some reloading equipment instead of this ammo.
Mrs.Unixguy: Oh, OK. What kind of ammo would you have been buying?
unixguy: Oh, 9mm, .45, 12 gauge, .22.
Mrs.Unixguy: 12 gauge? Isn't that for a shotgun?
unixguy: Yeah.
Mrs.Unixguy: Why?
unixguy: For the shotgun.
Mrs.Unixguy: You don't have a shotgun.
unixguy: Yes I do.
Mrs.Unixguy: Nuh uh.
unixguy: Yeah, that's the one I showed to you 2 weeks ago after picking it up while my parents were in town? The one I stopped by to purchase with my dad?
Mrs.Unixguy: Oh yeah....

Lest anybody get the wrong impression, she is definitely not a ditz-- she keeps track of all kinds of schedules, finances, etc....things that I can't stand dealing with and she's very good at. But caring about how many guns I have is apparently not high on her priority list. :)

.45Guy
October 21, 2006, 06:17 PM
Fortunately I don't have that problem. Unfortunately Mrs. .45 likes to steal half of my new purchases:cuss:
http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g27/aguy123/Range005.jpg

MICHAEL T
October 21, 2006, 07:50 PM
When I was married I had 3 guns Now I divorced and pushing 30 ain't life grand.

zoom6zoom
October 21, 2006, 08:26 PM
"you can only shoot one at a time."

One answer to this is to point at the ten pairs of black shoes in her closet, which all look the same to you. "you can only wear one pair at a time".

Or perhaps that's why I'm still single. Sometimes it sucks. But I only have to justify my purchases to me - and I'm pretty generous to myself.

SILENTSOUL308
October 21, 2006, 08:33 PM
My wife is pretty cool about my gun life, she doesnt really understand or even recognize "new guns" but i dont hide them from her. We keep our accounts separate like some of you folks have mentioned, we prefer it that way. Although I dont like to keep things from the mrs, there are some guns that its just better she doesnt know about,,,,,for her own deniability ya know? :) thats my $0.02 :)

grimjaw
October 21, 2006, 08:34 PM
I have solved that problem by not having a spouse.

jm

Holleta
October 21, 2006, 08:34 PM
In my Gun room, guns appear and dis-appear (mostly appear) :uhoh: . In her barn horses appear and seldom dis-appear. Guns are still way cheaper than taking care of horses so we seldom give each other a hard time about our interests.

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