The Mall Ninja


PDA






Freedom in theSkies
October 20, 2006, 02:57 AM
Remember back a few years ago on TFL when the Mall Ninja was yapping about wearing trauma plates to work at the local mall where he was the "ultimate Security Guard", and all that other Cr@p...
That was fun...
I used to sign on every chance I got, just to see how everyone would bait him into making more stoopid comments.
~ Them were the days...:rolleyes:

If you enjoyed reading about "The Mall Ninja" here in TheHighRoad.org archive, you'll LOVE our community. Come join TheHighRoad.org today for the full version!
Fn-P9
October 20, 2006, 03:57 AM
:confused:

OldBillThundercheif
October 20, 2006, 04:01 AM
Yeah, that guy thought he might have to fight a sniper so he wanted armor that would protect him from multiple rounds of .308.

What was he? A "Team Leader for a mobile quick-reaction force at one of America's premier indoor shopping facilities" or something like that?

Funny stuff.

Ninja boots used to climb walls are essential for mall security:D

Tactical golf-cart. Enough said...

jak
October 20, 2006, 04:34 AM
Lmao was the guy serious, or just a goof? 'Cause I could see doing that for laughs. If he was serious, though... :scrutiny:

Anyone save the threads from him? I need a good laugh.

Hehe, twin M2's mounted on an all-black stealth golf cart, with reactive armor and optional tactical nuke package:evil: That'd be a fun day at work...

Travis Lee
October 20, 2006, 05:24 AM
All your Malls are belong to us.

:cool:

--Travis--

db_tanker
October 20, 2006, 08:22 AM
All your Malls are belong to us.



--Travis--


LMAO


What is sad is that its not just Malls...up here at Baker we have one guy who tries his butt off to look and act like an LEO, but I talked to some actual deputy's we have up here on contract and they told me he couldn't pass the entrance exam for HPD or Harris Co. SD. Everyone tries to ignore him. :) lol

D

Finch
October 20, 2006, 08:42 AM
You can find archived transcripts of that guys exploits. I think his name was Gecko45 or something to that nature. After reading them, I came to the conclusion that it was all just a well thoughout joke. I know there are some weird people out there, but this guy was pretty extreme. He put on a good show.

After a little searching, I found it. If you are unfamiliar with the infamous Mall Ninja, here ya go - http://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/

DRMMR02
October 20, 2006, 08:53 AM
I have come to the conclusion that whatever anyone tells you about what they did in Special Forces, it isnt true. If they're a mall ninja, who is making up a bunch of wild stories, they are all false. And if the guy really is in Special Forces, he will probably say something like "Oh I was just in the area helping out with a bit of training. No big deal", and subtely change the subject, if he says anything at all. He's not just gonna come out and tell you the details of all his operations. A: it's probably illegal. and B: the vast majority of guys who make it that far into the military and special groups tend to have a lot ot tact, civility, and humbleness. Bragging about "dark ops" is just doesn't fit.

ilbob
October 20, 2006, 09:29 AM
I found the thread to be extremely funny and well written. Whoever wrote it might just have a career as a writer.

He may also be a security guard, as there were some things that made me think he may have some mall security experience, and mostly he was spoofing himself and fellow guards.

tuna
October 20, 2006, 09:52 AM
DRMMR02, you mean all the SPECOPS guys I meet at the range really weren't in SPECOPS? My dreams have been shattered!

TexasRifleman
October 20, 2006, 10:03 AM
I miss Mall Ninja.

There was one over at arfcom calling himself Target Security that was pretty funny as well.

Both these guys were great story tellers.

And of course they were not being serious.

That was the best part of the joke, watching some people argue with the guy like he was actually serious.

ilbob
October 20, 2006, 11:05 AM
DRMMR02, you mean all the SPECOPS guys I meet at the range really weren't in SPECOPS? My dreams have been shattered!

I used to shoot pretty regularly with a guy that was SF. I did not learn he was SF until several years after I met him. He is pretty ordinary. Was in the SF for some time until he went into a reserve SF unit. Worked at a car plant assembling cars.

Nice guy, polite, quiet, a little reserved.

He used to get called up for reserve duty a lot because they were short of radio operators. Never heard him complain about it.

Had an interesting hobby (besides firearms). Collected old spy radios. You know the key operated things they used to drop into France in WWII. He and some buddies used to send code on them. he could really tickle that Morse key. I asked him once and he told me he could send 40 words a minutes. I later found out he could do it sending code groups and not just words, which is substantially harder.

hankdatank1362
October 20, 2006, 11:06 AM
Remember the list of weapons he would request to maintain mall security?

It was like 20 items long, and ended with Kahr P9s as "holdout guns."

RNB65
October 20, 2006, 11:07 AM
I believe that ol' Mall Ninja was eventually outed as being a prank.

But it was darn funny! The guy was worried about being shot in the back by a .308 while working as mall security. :)

Lonestar
October 20, 2006, 11:13 AM
The funny thing is my friends and I describe anyone who is over the top tactical as a Mall Ninja. In a few years it will be a regular saying and would be listed in a dictionary. All from some wacko on the net.

I use to have a link to the original threads he created. If the guy was just messing around, he should get into comedy. If he was serious, god help us all.

default
October 20, 2006, 11:41 AM
Remember the list of weapons he would request to maintain mall security?

It was like 20 items long, and ended with Kahr P9s as "holdout guns."
Today 09:05 AM

What was really funny about that was how he planned on upgrading his Smith and Mossberg duty weapons with HK PDWs and G36s. Yeah, that would be a step up. :scrutiny:

I'm inclined to think it was a deliberate prank (as opposed to a clueless poser), and as they go a pretty good one. Ceramic plates to counter .338 Lapua hits in the back...multiple state-of-the-art submachineguns and assault rifles...his girlfriend/co-worker assembling the single-shot .300WinMag while he provides covering fire with a G23 converted to .357Sig...and finally the fact that he acknowledges that it's not the Mall of America, but isn't some podunk mall either. :D

Lonestar
October 20, 2006, 11:42 AM
HHHaaa...I found the "The Shrine of the Mall Ninja" This all happened on Glocktalk not THR, that is why I knew about it. I only been here for a few months. Funny thing is all this funny stuff happen in the summer right before 9/11

http://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/

FourTeeFive
October 20, 2006, 11:48 AM
In a similar vein, anyone ever notice the wannabee Seal team guys? Saw one driving around the other day in this BTS Ford Escort with a "Seal Team Member" bumper sticker. Yah, right buddy.

Lonestar
October 20, 2006, 11:50 AM
Remember the list of weapons he would request to maintain mall security?

It was like 20 items long, and ended with Kahr P9s as "holdout guns."

Not 20 items, but still one crazy assortment for a Mall security detail.

I am writing a proposal to replace our current Mossberg/Smith armament with the following:

3) MP5K-PDW with red-dot sights;
2) G36 rifles using SS109 rounds;
3) Glock practical tacticles in .357 Sig
1) PSG-1 using Fed Gold Medal .308
1) Starlight scope for the PSG-1 in case we lose power in the building.
3) Glock 27 backup guns
3) Kahr P-9 holdouts
I think this would make us capable of facing nearly any situation. I’ll let you know what the management says!!!

Tank I can't believe you remembered the Kahr holdout line....Classic

Rumble
October 20, 2006, 12:07 PM
FourTeeFive, my brother once opined that if he had to pick his ideal job title, it would be "Ex-Navy SEAL."

His reasoning was that if you start out as an "Ex-Navy SEAL," then you can skip all that inconvenient training and putting your life on the line, and really focus on the critical art of picking SpecOps T-shirts that don't cover your gut, and finding the perfect food-stain to put on your BDU pants. :D



DISCLAIMER: Neither my brother nor I have served in the military at all, and of course we'd never try to pull a wannabe-act and actually claim to be former soldiers. Soldiers do a job I'm not even sure I could do, and have my utmost respect.

Autolycus
October 20, 2006, 12:13 PM
Snagged this from over on SF. Oh my freakin' gawd!!!



From my Myspace CCW group.

http://forum.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=messagebo...2858192B3C1DF6848952




quote:
Hello All.

I am new to this group; however I am not new to carrying. I have been carrying for awhile now. I have lived my entire life by the traditional Republican values (yes I said I am a Republican and damn proud of it!), the Boy Scout Motto of Be Prepared, and the motto Better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6.

I carry six guns. All of them are Glocks in .40 S&W caliber with Night Sights and are bone stock except for some wolf springs. I carry 2 Glock 22s on my right and left hips in C-Tacs, 2 Glock 23s in my Alessi Bodyguard shoulder holster, 1 Glock 27 on my left ankle, and another Glock 27 in my right hand pocket. I also carry some folding knives. I carry 2 Chris Reeves folding knives, both of them are Sebenzas. I carry the small one in the left hand pocket of my 5.11 Tactical pants. I carry the larger one in the mag pocket on the right hand side with a Glock 22 magazine. I carry another 4 Glock 22 magazines behind the guns on my hips. I carry an extra magazine on a mag pouch on my right hip. I also carry a surefire E2E flashlight clipped onto my left hand pocket. You never know when you will need a light. I am going to be carrying 2 pairs of hand cuffs when I decide on a decent manufacturer and holster (suggestions are wanted). For my commo gear (I wasnt in the military but I adopted some of it into my everyday lingo through many CCW courses) I use a Nextel I560 phone in black (dont want to get the yellow one and give my reflection away in case some BG seems me in an alley) and I have a Pager with Skytel service. I also have a Zippo lighter in case I need to make a torch or something if stuck in a Hurricane Katrina situation. I also carry some OC spray (Fox labs if youre wondering)

I just wanted to share some of my experiences. I have been carrying a long time. I remember when I got my first permit. I felt ecstatic. It was an awesome responsibility I was ready to deal with. Not to mention I had been trained for it. I took an intensive CCW class that was several hours in length and have taken a few classes since then. I was like a Police Officer on his first shift. I was so happy that I had been granted the right to carry because there needs to be many more CCWers to help bring crime rates down. It is a heavy burden that we as Sheepdogs have to bear to protect the sheeple.

On my first day CCWing I went on patrol and walked around the entire neighborhood watching things with my hyper sense of awareness. Nobody but other CCWers understands what I am talking about. I walked through the neighborhood and I saw the illegal immigrants sitting on the stoop watching me with a keen eye. I suspect that they were intimidated by my presence (I am 6'1'' and 345 lbs) with a 50 inch waist. I dont understand Spanish but they must have been talking about me.

As a side note, what does Gordo mean?

I continued walking and I saw some gangbangers. There were 4 urban youth (read black kids playing basketball with jerseys listening to crap music err I mean rap music) who were probably carrying illegally. They were talking on someones porch. They looked at me and started talking amongst themselves. One of them called me biggie (some sort of respect thing?) and I kept walking.

As I got further into town I realized I needed to recharge my batteries with some food. I got myself a burrito at the local store. It was being worked by illegals (they are everywhere arent they?) but they make some damn good burritos and nachos. I got a huge super burrito (the kind that are football size) and some nachos with extra cheese and jalapenos. A large soda would wash that down nicely. I brought my food to the table and then got up to fill my soda (it was a self serve soda fountain) when some illegal immigrant gangbanger drug dealers walked in. One of them looked at me and I knew I was in for some trouble. They were probably packing guns. Gangbangers always pack lorcins and hi-points and not quality tactical gear. I made eye contact to let them know that I am hyper aware and that they will not be getting past me should something go down. Those stupid illegal immigrant gangbangers would regret messing with me.

Sure enough they called me a racist name. (Only white people can be racist, stupid racist illegal loving liberals!). I ignored it because I never start trouble when I am CCWing. I just waited in line for the soda machine when one of them pushed me. He wasnt strong enough to push my 345 lb frame. I told him not to touch me and took a defensive posture. I read about it on some tactical forums. Its one Navy SEALs use when going into close quarters combat. (I am not a SEAL or a veteran but I train just as hard with my CCW.) My CCW instructor approved of it and I told the illegal scumbag gangbanger that I would use force to defend myself and my family (who were not there, they dont patrol the neighborhood with me) if he should continue his attack.

They laughed and pushed me again. I pushed back. I threw my weight into it and pushed him into some tables. His other stupid Mexican illegal immigrant friend started saying something in Spanish and he put his hand into his pocket. I reached for the Glock 22 on my right hip and drew. The illegal immigrant took his hand out of his pocket and I told him to get down on the ground. Then I told his buddies to do the same thing. I then proceeded to handcuff the one who pushed me and the bigger of the other two. I then put on some Hatch Cooltac gloves and searched them. All of the employees in the store and the customers started clapping and cheering for me.

Bu not one to neglect my civic duty I had to keep a close eye and my Glock on the other one until my backup arrived. The responding officers came in with their guns drawn and ready to do some wet work. I laughed as once they saw me they put their guns away and I holstered mine. They proceeded to laugh once they saw I had the situation under complete control. They asked my advice on guns and we talked. I told them how I considered law enforcement at one point but I felt the job wasnt my forte. They didnt cuff me or anything and just took a statement. One of them even offered to buy me lunch and I got the number of one of the female officers who responded to the man with a gun call. When will the liberal anti-gunners learn that people like me are able to handle ourselves and act as sheepdogs for them (the sheeple)? Anyway we are going to the range and I am going to show her how to shoot. She also expressed getting her CCW permit. Luckily I have a lot of training and know a lot of people so she will probably taking a class where she will learn to think tactically.

After about 10 minutes of questioning from the cops I was ready to hit the streets again. I continued to walk down the street and check the neighborhood out. I decided that I should probably check the local Dunkin Donuts / Baskin Robbins out. I wanted to stop and rest my tired feet but as a civic minded CCWer I would not shirk my god given responsibilities to protect the neighborhood. I went in and got myself an extra large Peanut Butter and Chocolate malt. As I waited for the arabic dude to make my malt I noticed one of the officers I saw at the burrito shop. He nodded at me and I sat down at the table next to him. He told me what a good job I did and how much he loved responsible CCWers. I told him that it was just the training from my CCW classes. The whole You default to your level of training thing. He was very impressed and said I would make a fine tac-officer (SWAT for all you non-LEO types). Then he offered to pay for my malt as the arabic guy who worked there called out my order.

That was just one of my many forays into the streets. What made it unique was that it was my first day CCWing. Since then I have become an old hand when it comes to CCWing. I just wanted to share what my first day was like.

Autolycus
October 20, 2006, 12:16 PM
There is one guy with the license plate NVYSEAL. He is a former SEAL and a nice guy who actually served as a SEAL.

imprezagm4
October 20, 2006, 12:38 PM
Wow that was a great read! Still chuckling, I will have to share this and spread the legacy of The Mall Ninja

Autolycus
October 20, 2006, 12:58 PM
He has a myspace website!!!

I got him on my friends list. Its to funny. I will post the sequal to this.

Autolycus
October 20, 2006, 01:02 PM
From the Myspace Ninja's blog....

CCW stories...


The Importance of the CCW Badge....

I just wanted to share a day in my life where I had to repeatedly use my CCW badge throughot my day CCWing. I wanted to illustrate its usefulness to me on one of my patrols throughout the city fighting crime.

Well I know it has been awhile since I shared some of my experiences with you all. I also want to tell you about how important the CCW badge is for the average CCWer like me. I have been rather busy with my patrols. The neighborhoods need the protection of a CCWer so that the children can live in peace and harmony. I am fearful for them since there is a War on Terror and I believe I saw someone who may have been Muslim driving down the street. IT sent me into a tactical alert and I now have to be more vigilant, what would the world do without me and the other CCWers who keep Americans safe at night.



I wanted to write about an experience I had. I was at the local dairy queen eating an ice cream cone and an ice cream cake (I had the girl behind the counter draw a .40 caliber Glock on it) when I suddenly smelled smoke. Now being that I have heightened awareness, due to my intense 10 hours of CCW training, I knew that I was the only one prepared to do anything in an emergency situation regardless of tactical threats. I realized that I had to investigate the source of the smoke.



I ran into the woman's room and found the source of the smoke. Someone, probably a stupid non-Republican libtard, had put their cigarette into the trash can. It had ignited the paper towels and now the whole room smelled of smoke and the trash was on fire. I looked around and suddenly heard a scream. Some woman who was in the stall walked out and saw me standing over the flaming trashcan and decided to scream. I immediately told her not to worry as I was a CCW holder and then I flashed my CCW badge. She calmed down after she saw the words "Concealed Weapons Permit" on the badge surrounding the state seal. I told her to go out and get the fire extinguisher. She ran out screaming about someone in the women's room. I decided to check the other stalls and promptly kicked the doors in to make sure they are empty.



After I secured the area I ran out of the bathroom and grabbed a bite of cake. Then I went to the counter and told the guy I needed a fire extinguisher quick. He looked puzzled after I said that. So I screamed at him that I have a Concealed Weapons Permit and that I need the extinguisher so that I can save all of our lives. Once the manager came to the counter she recognized me and handed the extinguisher over so I could go put the fire out. I then proceeded to check the restaurant. I didn't realize it had filled with smoke so I went out and started sizing up the place. I wanted to put the sheeple libtards on ease so I pulled my CCW badge and clipped it underneath my double chin. A few of the sheeple visibly relaxed. I ordered them to stand outside of the Smokey restaurant and sit on the curb until the fire department gave them an all clear.



I grabbed what was left of my ice cream cake and sundae and took it outside with me. I sat on the curb and waited for my brothers in red and blue to show up. Once they got there I debriefed them on the situation. They were glad to have a responsible CCWer on the scene to take control of the situation. "Well it's my duty as a citizen and as a CCW holder" is what I told them. This brought tears to their eyes and I think we all realized that were brothers in arms and spirit. I told them it was time to go as I had to finish my patrol of the neighborhood and I left.



I headed down street and went into the local pantry shop for a quick look-see. They know me here because I usually stop and get a donut and slurpee (my afternoon snack) during my patrols on the weekend. I looked around when a gangbanger-thug-democrat caught my eye. I knew he was up to know good and I think he may have been packing heat. I tactically maneuvered myself so that an aisle was directly in between us. I then proceeded to move from condition yellow to condition red. I think he realized I was on to him and I had to make my move. I yelled out "Yo homie," like Tom Cruise in Collateral (which is a very good movie and made me reevaluate a lot of tactical thinking). "Yo homie, CCW permit holder here," I called out all the while flashing my CCW badge. He looked confused and perplexed at me. But I figure he knew what I was and that I had been trained to handle these kinds of situations better than most. I went in and tried to take control of the situation; but he made a mad dash for the door.



What a maroon! I easily anticipated this as I had taken a CCW training course and discussed situations like this one on the internet many a time. I tackled him throwing my 350 lbs. of weight into the perps center of gravity. He fell instantly like a sack of potatoes… umm that reminds me I need some potatoes for dinner. Getting back on track now I had him on the ground and I handcuffed him until my backup could arrive. Once the police arrived I was given my handcuffs back after I flashed my CCW badge and then I was thanked for being so diligent in protecting the community.



I continued on my patrol of the neighborhood watching out for trouble. As I was walking down one of the more major intersections I caught sight of a fellow CCWer. He looked at me and I flashed my CCW badge. He flashed his back which put me at ease. It is nice to know that I am not the only responsible citizen in the community who takes the time to look out for us. We talked on the corner. He watched over my shoulder while I watched over his. This is to prevent bad guys from sneaking up on us. I could see he was in a visible state of code yellow. Earlier in the afternoon he had rescued a little girl and her puppy while engaging numerous gangbangers in an intense gun battle. I told him next time to call me as backup so I could help. A brother CCWer in trouble is something no CCWer likes to hear about. We are the last line of defense between the liberal libtards democrat gangbanger thug kiddie rapist terrorist supporters of the world and decent Christian Americans.



He told me about a potential situation that was developing. He saw a man of Middle Eastern descent over at the hardware store buying piping, nails, screws, and other plumbing supplies. We figure the piping was for pipe bombs and the other things were to act as shrapnel for it. The rest of it was to make it look like the man was going to fix his plumbing. He even got into a truck disguised as a plumber's truck. These Al Qaeda are getting crafty but us CCWers are on to them. I thanked him for the heads up and we decided we would call a few other CCW guys and have them ready in case we need to take this guy out. Nothing scares a terrorist then a whole bunch of armed men storming the house. We set up commo with our Nextel's at the ready in case we spotted him. I then told him I was going to get some coffee and a donut from the local donut shop and asked him if he would join me. He agreed and we joked about running into other brothers in arms at the local donut shop. Sure enough there were a few squad cars parked in front and they recognized me. We smiled and then me and my fellow CCWer walked away continuing our patrol after we informed the cops about the terrorist at the hardware store. They said they would look for him and rolled their eyes. I figure they want to let the Feds handle something that big.



We patrolled some of the side streets in the neighborhood and watched out for any signs of our suspect. At one point we thought we smelled ammonia and were going to investigate the source. Luckily it was some woman cleaning the garage. It seemed like a nice quiet day so we decided to listen to our police scanner for any crimes in progress that we would be able to help with. I know cops love having a few CCWers on the scene to back them up because, unfortunately, other cops cannot be everywhere at once.



No action for us CCWers right now. We talked about our CCW training and the experiences that we shared together as CCWers. It's hard for us to relate with people who are not CCWers. They just don't understand how we are willing to act as sheepdogs in the face of the wolf. They don't understand that when the wolf is at your door you can be a sheep or a sheepdog. Non CCWers cannot understand how as CCWers we are the few sheepdogs trying to protect the entire flock. I guess it's a lonely road for us CCWers. One of the many burdens we live with but one we are willing to bear so we can protect all that is good and be patriots.



We were walking when I saw a perp with whom I had a previous run in with. Luckily he had not seen me so I stopped and hid behind a tree. I watched him as he stood on corner. He was obviously selling dope and it was so early in the evening. My partner and I decided we needed to take immediate action and stop this before it gets any worse.



We decided to take direct tactical action. I pulled my Glock 22 out of its holster and took a position behind a tree to cover my partners advance. He drew a Nighthawk 1911 and left another one on his left hip so that he could have a New York reload should he need it. He pulled his neck chain with his CCW badge and let it hang out in the open for any civilians and non-CCWs to see.



I moved on up and called out to the Luke, the thug with whom I had a previous run in, "Luke put your hands up. CCWers, we want to check the situation out and make sure no laws are being broken. Everything will be fine as long as you comply." I re-holstered my Glock 22 and kept my hand on the grip. I was ready to pull should a situation arise. My partner re-holstered his 1911 and kept his hand in his right pocket. Just in case he needed to fire his snubby. The thug didn't have a chance against two well trained CCWers out on the streets. We approached the perp and took control of the situation. My partner took a cover while I took an interview stance and talked to the perp. I asked him what he was doing and he said he was waiting for the bus. A likely story but I didn't believe him. Our conversation went something like this…

"Now your not lying to me are you? Cause I have heard many a lie while I was at the gunshop and I can tell if your lying or not."

"No I swear man; I am waiting for the bus. I got to go to work man. Please don't shoot me Mr. CCWer. I don't want any trouble with the likes of you."

Since I am a CCWer that makes me a better citizen who is more in touch with the founding fathers than any libtard democrat could ever be. I decided that I would place him under citizen's arrest. I learned all about it in my CCW training. So I handcuffed him and then called the boys in blue for the arrest. I even read him his rights using the Miranda card I got from the police supply store. (I often shop there as they keep 6X 5.11 tactical pants in stock for CCWers.)



Once I had read him his rights I waited for my backup to arrive. When they arrived I placed him in their squad car. They all laughed and told me that I should have been a cop. I told them that it is my duty as a Republican, an American, and a citizen with a CCW permit. It's an honor to wear a badge whether it is a detective's shield or a CCW badge we all are working for a better society. They agreed and asked me about my carry method. I told them about my CCW training course and the things that I choose to carry everyday. 6 Glocks, 4 spare Glock 22 magazines, 2 Chris Sebenza Folding knives, 2 Surefire E2E flashlights, an asp baton, a Nextel cell phone with other CCWers on speed dial and 911 listed as "Backup", my police scanner, CCW badge, a couple of tactical pens that are often used by Delta Force, a small notebook, and my tactical Spec Ops wallet. In my wallet I keep a spyderco knife card, my NRA membership, my GOA membership, my Republican Caucus card, and my CCW permit, as well as a driver's license. These things are what I usually have in my wallet along with some cash and credit cards.



They were mighty impressed with how much gear I could keep on my waist. I told them its one of the advantages of being a big boned guy with a 60 inch waistline. They laughed and sent the rookie to take the man in and book him. I gave them one of my cards and my CCW badge number to have on file for the arresting judge. Both the other officers wanted to go get a cup of java but I told them I had to get back on patrol and finish out my night. They understood and thanked me for being a good citizen. They even suggested getting a second CCW badge so I could put it next to my Glock holster and not scare the sheeple if my gun gets exposed. I laughed and told them I had thought about that but I did not want to give my status as a CCWer away to anyone. I prefer to be stealthy and have my CCW hidden so I have the most tactical flexibility.



Anyways I carried out the rest of my duty shift and patrolled the neighborhood with my partner. He tried to sell me on the virtues of the 1911 but I prefer my Glocks. We discussed some of the potential situations we encountered in our lives as CCWers. We also vowed to train more and to train harder as well. I figure we could go down to the gun shop and practice some draw strokes as well as our malfunction drills. I also volunteered my house for room clearance drills.



After that we decided to part ways to cover more area. We decided that it would be best to cover as much area as possible in our hunt for the terrorist. I walked around for another two hours only stopping twice. Once for a burrito and once for a Big Mac extra value meal. I went home and cleaned my guns while reading Colonial Coopers writings and preparing for my part in the war on terrorism. I often reflect on how much better of an American I am simply for being a Christian, a Republcian, and for CCWing in general.



Col. Cooper RIP

Here is a link to his blog...

http://blog.myspace.com/everymanafreeman


I cant stop laughing whenver I read it.

Mr White
October 20, 2006, 01:11 PM
Every board has its legendary morons, but I think Mall Ninja might top most, if not all, of them. I LMFAO at that post. Its a good thing the guy who posted it made the disclaimer about not taking responsibility for coffee being spit out onto keyboards, or his a$$ would be buying me a new keyboard right now.

Prank or not, it was funny as hell and pretty spot-on for for some of the mall guards I've run into. Yup. You can never be too tactical when you lay your life on the line everyday to keep the kiddies from wasting ketchup at the food court!

ETXhiker
October 20, 2006, 01:21 PM
This guy's talent is wasted - I'll buy a copy of the paperback. Too bad Chris Farley is gone, he'd be perfect for the screenplay.

heypete
October 20, 2006, 01:22 PM
I have come to the conclusion that whatever anyone tells you about what they did in Special Forces, it isnt true. If they're a mall ninja, who is making up a bunch of wild stories, they are all false. And if the guy really is in Special Forces, he will probably say something like "Oh I was just in the area helping out with a bit of training. No big deal", and subtely change the subject, if he says anything at all. He's not just gonna come out and tell you the details of all his operations. A: it's probably illegal. and B: the vast majority of guys who make it that far into the military and special groups tend to have a lot ot tact, civility, and humbleness. Bragging about "dark ops" is just doesn't fit.

*nods* When I was the army, one of my buddies was so subtle about it that he didn't even wear the Special Forces or Ranger tabs (he more than earned both), nor a bunch of the different qualification badges he had (many). He kept all of those in a little lined box in barracks wall locker.

The only thing that he had on his BDUs (other than his nametapes and unit patch, obviously) was a combat patch from his first tour.

He showed me pictures of himself with a bunch of other SF buddies (with tabs on their uniforms) in a few remote areas. Nothing staged, just a bunch of the guys relaxing back at their base after a mission or something.

This guy was "calm and quiet" in the extreme, and called no attention whatsoever to himself. Still, he was an incredibly nice guy, educated and well-versed in many topics, and could shoot the balls of a gnat at 200 yards with a .22.

When he got really sick (we both met in a medical unit for Operation Iraqi Freedom folks -- I had an injured foot), one had to be careful about waking him up to give him food...he was a bit jittery, and had a way of waking up and being prepared to kill whoever woke him up. He said the only folks who could clamber and climb all over him when he was asleep was his wife and daughter. A little odd for him to wake up going for your throat (at least he warned me the day before), but after a while he got used to me waking him up.

Overweight braggarts are rarely, if ever, vets of any kind, let alone SF types. While I may be in possession of a modest (20lbs or so) emergency food supply, I just used to drive tanks for Uncle Sam.

You know, I should really see about getting in touch with this guy again...it's been a few years...

Joe Demko
October 20, 2006, 01:24 PM
Mall Ninja was definitely a satirist. Read through the excerpts Tecumseh has posted here. Much of it should sound familiar, for Mall Ninja drew his material from boards like this one. IOW, we were the ones he was satirizing. I, for one, find his lampooning of tacticality to be dead on and hilarious. His bigotry-disguised-as-situational-awareness also cracks me up. The constant swipes at "libtards" and Democrats is priceless. Mall Ninja, whoever he was, was a genius.

DRMMR02
October 20, 2006, 01:29 PM
...I believe I saw someone who may have been Muslim driving down the street. IT sent me into a tactical alert...

Wow.

DontBurnMyFlag
October 20, 2006, 01:41 PM
oh...my...god...




:D :D :D

Im laughing hysterically in my college computer lab and people are so confused.

imprezagm4
October 20, 2006, 01:57 PM
^ I'm working in my college's computer lab and I too was laughing like an idiot to myself :)

Perhaps the most amusing part of it all is that the Mall Ninja could very well be any member of THR, TFL, or even packing.org :scrutiny:

Autolycus
October 20, 2006, 02:01 PM
Chris Farley would make an awesome mall ninja. Can you see him doing a tactical roll when he sees a car diving down the street?

Joe Demko
October 20, 2006, 02:06 PM
Chris Farley would make an awesome mall ninja

I think he's otherwise engaged.

DRMMR02
October 20, 2006, 02:07 PM
ouch

Mr White
October 20, 2006, 02:16 PM
Do you think the Myspace Ninja is a gun guy poking fun at mall ninjas/chairborne rangers, or a lib making fun of gun owners and CCW holder stereotypes?

My thought is that its the latter.

Lonestar
October 20, 2006, 02:33 PM
These guys are wasting their talents. I don't watch a lot of TV but if they had a sitcom about the life of a group of mall ninjas, I would tune in every night :neener: There I said it first:neener: COPYRIGHTS:neener:

The scary thing is I have ran into people on gun boards and in real life that are dead serious about being a tactical "chair borne" ranger (Good one Mr. White)

psyopspec
October 20, 2006, 02:47 PM
Mr. White, if it's the latter suggestion that you proposed, they sure put an awful lot of time into researching gunboard culture.

I share a philosophy with Roger Rabbit - If you don't have a sense of humor, you're better off dead. That's some well-written satire right there.

Mr White
October 20, 2006, 03:33 PM
Don't get me wrong, I LMAO at it, but just the way he kept throwing the "I'm a CCWer" around, it sounded like it could come from the other side, from a viewpoint of "see what idiots the gunnutz/CCWers are."

I know a few chairbornes (I didn't invent that term) and I wouldn't say that they give normal, responsible gun owners a black eye. Maybe a big red clown's nose, though. Theres a group of student security patrol officers at the college where I work. They mostly direct traffic, act as crossing guards at big events, and wander around with a sense of importance at football games. You'll see some of them with a big leather tac belt on, with a tactical light and a bunch of other stuff. They are armed with a pen, a pad of paper, a radio, a flashlight and a whistle. That's all the tactical you need. They can't carry knives, batons, pepper spray, or anything even remotely resembling a weapon, but they can sure look semi-tactical when they try. It's pretty funny.

crunker
October 20, 2006, 04:09 PM
This guy may have some talent, but in all likelyhood he's a paranoid person.

I can understand wanting to have some heavier weapons in an arms room, but an MP7? That's just unreal. I wouldn't go for MGs at all, they'd make me look more liable in court. A civie MP-5 would do nicely though.

Autolycus
October 20, 2006, 05:57 PM
Mr. White:

I think it is a bit of both. The ninja I wrote about admitted it was a joke on a myspace CCW board. Some people flipped out and others thought it was funny as hell. I think it just takes few shots at us but it is funny. I can see where they got a lot of the things off of this board and other gunboards. The author admitted that he used to post on Glocktalk but that they were not "tactical" enough for him. I figure we have to be able to laugh at ourselves before we laugh at anyone else.

jerkyman45
October 20, 2006, 07:10 PM
This has gotta be one of the funniest things ever, the gecko45 postings, the blog, someone tell me this is a joke and nobody can be this unbelievable. I havent stopped laughing in a good 15 minutes. thanks for posting this.

Wesker
October 20, 2006, 07:12 PM
I actually had to walk away and stop reading it :(

Autolycus
October 20, 2006, 07:59 PM
Wesker was that because it is to funny? Or is it to stupid?

DWARREN123
October 20, 2006, 10:12 PM
Maybe I could be a Mall Ninja, all I need is a high cap mag for my revolver and tactical clothing with Ninja boots.:neener:

Mr White
October 20, 2006, 11:11 PM
I agree, Tecumseh. We do have to be able to laugh at ourselves, and I LMAO at the Mall Ninja and the Myspace CCW Tac Patrol Ranger, I just don't like it when other people laugh at ourselves. :D

OldBillThundercheif
October 20, 2006, 11:53 PM
Anyone who uses the word tactical more than once in a conversation is fairly questionable. The word is very rarely used correctly. Unless there is a thermonuclear-armed alternative, using the adjective tactical is unnecessary and redundant.

Of course it's a "tactical" rifle! I have yet to see a strategic rifle.

Even this one would not qualify as a strategic rifle as it fired "tactical" nuclear projectiles...
http://i89.photobucket.com/albums/k223/zarganuts/nuke-cannon.jpg

Diamondback6
October 21, 2006, 12:33 AM
OldBill, now THAT's what I'm talkin' about! Where do I get one?

Mmmm... a 280mm with an EOtech, a laser, a Surefire and all the standard "tactitroll" accessories...:eek: :what:

And then there was GunTroll and his assault wheelbarrow...

What gun to hunt mall-ninja?

Indeed, you must laugh at yourself before you can laugh at others. Which is why I have my "Tackleberry Lite" act...

TimboKhan
October 21, 2006, 12:40 AM
I have come to the conclusion that whatever anyone tells you about what they did in Special Forces, it isnt true

I can't tell you how many "Navy SEALS" I have met over the years. Once, I had a kid at school try and convince me that he was a Ranger and was taught to kill using a crossbow. About 99.9% of the time, I rank ANYONE who claims to be SF right up there with the people that know people that wait in the limbs of trees with knives until the deer walks underneath.

carpediem
October 21, 2006, 12:41 AM
What, you've never tried that? :neener:

Deaf Smith
October 21, 2006, 12:50 AM
What? Don't you know I was a 15 year old CIA assasian in Vietnam? I was part of the Phonix project. Honest. I was recruited right out of junior high.

But you know, Gunkid to me made the Mall Ninja look like a stable person. But now, he is in the klink in Oklahoma. Thank the Lord for small wonders.

Zen21Tao
October 21, 2006, 01:21 AM
I think the Mall Ninjas (Gecko45 and SPECOPS) and CCWer need to team up with Gunkid and prepare for "the balloon to drop." :D

10-Ring
October 21, 2006, 01:59 AM
Geez, I've been on these boards for way tooooooo long! :o :D

Eleven Mike
October 21, 2006, 02:30 AM
Both these guys were great story tellers. And of course they were not being serious.

That was the best part of the joke, watching some people argue with the guy like he was actually serious.

The ABSOLUTE best parts of the MallNinja threads were the people who took him seriously and tried to lecture him.

Rupestris
October 21, 2006, 02:54 AM
As much as I enjoyed the Mall Ninja threads, I still like centac's "Coffee Can" more.

Somehow it was just a bit more believable when it came down to honest-to-goodness mall ninjery :D .

Both will live on in internet gun board infamy. http://www.michigan-sportsman.com/forum/images/smilies/lol.gif

Autolycus
October 21, 2006, 02:05 PM
Mall ninjas rock.

gm
October 21, 2006, 05:56 PM
As a side note, what does Gordo mean?

:D :D :barf: :D good description.I like hearing mall ninja stuff,the guy that said the above was truly entertaining to say the least.

SuperiorMarksman_18
October 21, 2006, 07:24 PM
Is this mall ninja guy serious? What a poser! The guy's probably never been in a fight his entire life and would probably soil his pants at the first sign of trouble.:D

XLMiguel
October 21, 2006, 10:01 PM
I just want to know what he smokes and where I can get some . . . :evil:
:neener:

Mr White
October 21, 2006, 11:08 PM
So, for the sake of us new members, Who was gunkid and hwat was centac's coffee can?

Joe Demko
October 21, 2006, 11:19 PM
Gunkid (http://www.oklahomacounty.org/cosheriff/InmateQuery/bookingdetail.asp?PERSON_ID=200098559). One of the more controversial figures on the web. I used to sporadically exchange emails with him. He has some radical ideas regarding reloading, suppressors, and post-SHTF survival. John could probably legitimately claim to be the most hated guy on the gunboards. I'll say this much in his defense: Some of the really absurd things you hear attributed to him, like the "assault wheelbarrow," have taken on a life of their own. They are based on things he did say, taken out of context, and then exaggerated through repeated retellings.

Creeping Incrementalism
October 21, 2006, 11:19 PM
So, for the sake of us new members, Who was gunkid and hwat was centac's coffee can?

Gunkid was the king of trolls on the gun boards. Do a web search, or search this board, and you'll find lots of good stuff. I believe he is in prison presently, and he was big on suppressors, silenced 22LR as a defensive firearm, and moving all his gear in a wheelbarrow if the fit hit the shan.

I don't know what centac's coffee can is, so someone pipe in if you do.

psyopspec
October 22, 2006, 12:05 AM
It was a little while back, but from what I recall, centac was a cop who claimed in an L&P thread on search and siezure that anyone with a coffee can in their car was using it to store drugs or drug paraphernalia, and that that possession of such a diabolical container was probable cause for a search of the vehicle.

the 22 junkie
October 22, 2006, 12:08 AM
Oh man, Gecko45 talking about using Dragon anti-tank missles to light up some homies in their ride, that's just too funny.

Eleven Mike
October 22, 2006, 12:28 AM
Chris Farley would make an awesome mall ninja. I could do it. Of course, I'll have to bulk up for the role, as I am an actual, trained permit holder and keep myself in peak physical condition so that I can defend my community from gang-bangers and terrorists. I'll have to take fewer patrols if I'm to lose weight, but hopefully the local LE will be able to keep things in order without me.

Zen21Tao
October 22, 2006, 02:12 AM
Gunkid was the king of trolls on the gun boards. Do a web search, or search this board, and you'll find lots of good stuff. I believe he is in prison presently, and he was big on suppressors, silenced 22LR as a defensive firearm, and moving all his gear in a wheelbarrow if the fit hit the shan.

I don't know what centac's coffee can is, so someone pipe in if you do.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but Gunkid's survival plan included turning his "tactical wheelbarrow" over in the Mississippi river and sniping people on the banks with a suppressed .22lr AR from under neath the wheelbarrow as he and it floated down the river. What a loon. :D

Autolycus
October 22, 2006, 05:20 AM
Eleven Mike:

I dont know if you are tactical enough. I mean six glocks? That is very tactical.

Joe Demko
October 22, 2006, 11:49 AM
Correct me if I'm wrong, but Gunkid's survival plan included turning his "tactical wheelbarrow" over in the Mississippi river and sniping people on the banks with a suppressed .22lr AR from under neath the wheelbarrow as he and it floated down the river.

Okay, you're partly wrong. Briefly, the story of the "assault wheelbarrow" was this: Over at Hard Core Talk, in one of its earlier incarnations, John was in one of his many pissing contests with one of the riot nerds who made up the majority of the membership there. The riot nerd was nattering about defending his impregnable house with his Finger-of-God M1-A. Like many riot nerds, he claimed to live in a virtual fortress atop a hill surrounded by hundreds of yards of coverless open country. John's reply was that, if nothing else, he could pretty quickly weld up a moveable piece of cover on a wheelbarrow using stuff commonly found on farms. Not the greatest idea ever, but not the "assault wheelbarrow" that his many detractors have blown it into.
The floating down the river part is more or less correct. John is a big advocate of travelling post-SHTF by river, at night, using an inflatable. Use of the suppressed .22 was also one of his signature bits.
John seems to have a split personality of sorts. His email exchanges with me were always perfectly reasonable in tone and content; completely unlike his often wild-eyed and raving on-line persona. The last I talked with him, over a year ago, his main interests seemed to be focused on things like non-hybrid seeds, wild medicinal herbs, and other TEOTWAWKI subsistance farming/foraging topics.

Eleven Mike
October 22, 2006, 05:22 PM
Eleven Mike:

I dont know if you are tactical enough. I mean six glocks? That is very tactical.Oh, please. If tactical means multiple NDs. I carry a PRE-LOCK, pinned and recessed 10mm S&W revo and a Detective's Special as a BUG. I don't miss and don't waste shots, so reloads are unnecessary.

Edit: I fear I didn't lay on enough satire in this bit - it is my pathetic attempt to create a new kind of gun-toting doofus, who's polar opposite from the mall ninja type, but ends up being just as laughable.

Lonestar
October 23, 2006, 10:09 AM
One of the more controversial figures on the web. I used to sporadically exchange emails with him. He has some radical ideas regarding reloading, suppressors, and post-SHTF survival. John could probably legitimately claim to be the most hated guy on the gunboards. I'll say this much in his defense: Some of the really absurd things you hear attributed to him, like the "assault wheelbarrow," have taken on a life of their own. They are based on things he did say, taken out of context, and then exaggerated through repeated retellings.

Didn't GunKid get arrested recently, Something stupid like Tax evasion:confused: and when the authorities arrested he had a load of weapons on him? Oh an wasn't he like in his 50's

Joe Demko
October 23, 2006, 10:13 AM
Yeah, he was arrested last June. My linky above is to his mugshot. As I understand it, he was in possession of a buttload of guns and ammunition, as well as some gold, that he allegedly stole from his wife.

Lonestar
October 23, 2006, 10:15 AM
Yep joe...here goes the story from another gun forum ...credit to Campy Bob..

another delusional militia wacko is arrested and will be out of circulation.

http://www.black-rifles.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=12894

http://newsok.com/article/1881634

Thursday, July 06, 2006
Goodbye Gunkid
Perhaps the most infamous troll of the internet gun world, a true Ferrous Cranus, is being held in jail without bail and faces a complaint of possession of ammunition after a prior felony conviction. According to a federal detention order, John Melvin Davis, AKA Gunkid has past convictions on eight federal offenses and received five separate sentences totaling more than 20 years in prison. Gunkid is suspected of stashing stolen weapons and almost 11,000 bullets stolen from his estranged wife in a Norman, Oklahoma storage unit. He is now is being held in the Oklahoma County jail on a federal complaint, officials said. Bob Troester, a spokesman for the U.S. attorney's office in Oklahoma City, said Davis is likely to face more than the ammunition complaint. He said his office will seek an indictment within 30 days. Gunkid's estranged wife informed the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms that Davis had broken into her Colorado storage unit and stolen "several assault rifles, hand guns, some gold, silver and other ... items." She said Davis had at least eight aliases. Meanwhile, Davis was shacking up with a woman in Oklahoma. She informed officials that Davis made "numerous comments" about not going back to prison, claiming he would "disrupt the economy by poisoning the water supply and knocking out the communication system." The woman also said Davis, who has lived in Oklahoma for only a few months, had begun having packages shipped to her address, including a box of incomplete firearms frames that he planned to sell with directions on how to convert them into functioning weapons.

On June 19, agents raided Davis' mobile house in Oklahoma. Davis was detained after entering a van, and a .22 caliber pistol and several rounds of ammunition were recovered from a canvas bag he'd been carrying. Agents later searched the Norman storage unit and seized a 9 millimeter pistol, a .22 caliber pistol, a .45 caliber pistol, a .223 caliber rifle, a Colt pistol, possible silencers, gun parts and more than 10,900 bullets of various calibers.

John Melvin Davis is well known among internet gunnies as Gunkid, Hardin, Andy, and a hundred other pseudonyms he would use to disrupt gun forums. Gunkid was the inventor of the assault wheelbarrow, the advocate of a "debarked" Chihuahua as an alarm system, and a .223 fired from a 10" barrel as the ultimate weapon, which he claimed was useful up to 300yds, but only when used with a suppressor because Gunkid had a severe flinch when shooting without one. He liked to allude to his magnificent IPSC shooting career. There are no records of his exploits. However, there are complete records of other competitors scores, shot in the time frame he claims to have been a competitor.

Almost every internet gunnie can remember when they first crossed paths with the irrational John Davis, no matter what the subject or where the forum was located. I certainly remember him totally destroying an otherwise great forum that I helped establish years ago. Moderators of well established forums invested much time in recognizing Gunkid when he resurfaced among their members with another name. Regardless of the name he chose, his posts were instantly recognizable for their irrational thought process, capitalization of words that made no sense, and extreme hostility towards any challenge to his delusional knowledge. These were unwavering themes in Gunkid's postings.

So how do we know that John Davis is Gunkid? Like the boogyman, Gunkid is almost a legend that makes one think he cannot die. Gunkid has been tracked across the internet for several years by cyberspace bounty hunters. For some, it was sport. For others, it was a mission. For a few, it is almost depressing that the chase has ended. One thing is certain, John Melvin Davis is Gunkid. There were people who knew exactly who he was, and tried to get him stopped long before he was apprehended by the feds.

Good bye Gunkid, you slimy piece of crap. Good riddance. I hope you get a real nice cellmate.

Bart Noir
October 23, 2006, 04:20 PM
...that I may start telling people that I really am an ex-Mall Ninja. But the details are classified, can't tell you anything, and several court proceedings might result in the perps going free if I told about my exploits.

Bart Noir
Yes, the gas mask is bulky but well worth it.

MatthewVanitas
October 23, 2006, 05:15 PM
I've got a tech question here, directed only to the genuine operators with boots-on-deck experience. If you're a wannabee, keyboard kommando, or Counterstrike-kiddie, just shut up, listen up, and start learning.

I'll fill you in with a little S2 brief before I get to my question. I'm the CO of a Client Retention / Tactical Loss Prevention response unit at an extremely well-known Upper Midwestern retail location. The corporation which employs us is a household name in the Upper Midwest, and has substantial assets which require constant professional vigilance.

My elite 12-man squad is kitted out with the standards: WileyX/RR5.11/USKeds/Fox/Sebenza, etc. Our primary sidearm is the Heckler und Koch Mark 23 pistol, specifically customized for the unique needs of our mission. I'd love to explain these upgrades for you pro-tech guys out there, but H&K made us sign a confidentiality statement to maintain their trade secrets. It was a give-give situation though; they detached us a full-time H&K armorer to maintain our gear. The operational use and rough training was necessitating our shipping the pistols back to H&K every few months, so this saved time and money for everyone involved. If you've ever worked with H&K's "Special Projects" division, you'll recognize our armorer! He keeps a low profile at a certain vendor cart near the Jamba Juice (hint: those aren't really cellphone accessories...)

Our current go-to rifle for when we "go tactical" is the DSB FAL. I know the civvie nancyboys rave about these online, but my crew is soliciting bids to switch to a better product. They're not bad for plinking and games, but are unsatisfactory for our purposes for several reasons:

1) The lowers are often out of spec, causing fit problems when we mount our PAPCO folding stocks.

2) The FAL design is not sufficiently reliable in the rough environmental stresses we face. Those of you who've lived in the Upper Midwest AO know what I'm talking about! The wX gets ridiculous during our LRRPs of the POV staging lots adjoining the retail operations center, and even more so when we transit to our Motor Pool after liberty-call.

3) The pogues at the DSB front office flat-out refused to upgrade our FALs to the 14" barrel and 5-round burst! We requested on official task-force letterhead, and they sent back some legal-beagle paper-pusher excuse. They simply DO NOT stand behind their product!

In any case, that gives you the overall grasp of our Sit. I hate to leave so much unsaid, but OPSEC...

That said, I've chosen a Bryco as my BUG and "covert ops" carry. Can I buy the Walther PPK Lazer-Trayz laser grips off of eBag and modify them to fit, or should I just use the laser off of my licensed-copy Airsoft FAMAS?

Eightball
October 23, 2006, 05:32 PM
Lonestar, thank you for information relating to the end of Gunkid....I had sorta wondered what the deal was with that. I kinda miss said "slimy piece of crap".....his threads were so amusing to read. The tactical floating wheelbarrow was very amusing, though.

CENTAC'S COFFEE CAN: IIRC, he claimed to be a former LEO, and that whenever he would stop a suspect with a coffee can in their car, he would arrest them for drug posession. Either the coffee, or the sweetener stuff, or something, he claimed it was easy to hide drugs in, mixed.

Which is why I never travel without a coffee can, in case Centac is CCWing, and protecting the streets of the sheeple :rolleyes:

Correia
October 23, 2006, 06:05 PM
Joe Demko, speaking as a moderator, I hated Gunkid above all trolls. The man wouldn't quit.

Honestly we banned him from THR probably 80 times. I'm not embellishing either.

The man was a certifiable loon. Our own cyber-sleuths tracked him down, and we knew about him being in trouble with the law again way before he got picked up. And let me tell you, when we got the news, it was party time.

IndianaBoy
October 24, 2006, 05:40 AM
I'm inclined to think it was a deliberate prank (as opposed to a clueless poser), and as they go a pretty good one. Ceramic plates to counter .338 Lapua hits in the back...multiple state-of-the-art submachineguns and assault rifles...his girlfriend/co-worker assembling the single-shot .300WinMag while he provides covering fire with a G23 converted to .357Sig...and finally the fact that he acknowledges that it's not the Mall of America, but isn't some podunk mall either.

Too darn funny! :D

Joe Demko
October 24, 2006, 09:43 AM
Joe Demko, speaking as a moderator, I hated Gunkid above all trolls. The man wouldn't quit.

Okay. I don't quite know why you are telling me this. If you're expecting me to defend him, I'm not going to. His presence on a board was a guarantee of strife. Mods on gunboards and survival boards all over the web hate John, so it hardly surprises me that you do too.

Geno
October 24, 2006, 10:19 AM
When I was still actively instructing Taekwondo, we had a student who knew just enough martial arts to get himself into trouble, but not quite enough to get himself out of trouble. These type students are typified by license plates that boast their affiliation in the MAs. So, one night at the bar, after he had consumed several bottles of big-mouth he decided to defined a “lady’s” integrity. Short of it, the marine he tangled with, took him down in a head-lock and literally bit his ears off. Serious! The moral of this factual story? It’s the quiet ones you gotta watch. SF guys keep it on the low-down for the element of surprise.

Doc2005

ilbob
October 24, 2006, 10:39 AM
"[...]assault wheelbarrow[...]"

Considering the long lists of heavy stuff some posters here claim they plan to carry on their backs in case TSHTF, I wonder if a wheel barrel (or at least some kind of wheeled cart) wouldn't be a better choice.

:)

Personally, I think the Internet would not be anywhere near as interesting and informative without the "characters" that inhabit it. If nothing else, they force you to think.

Eleven Mike
October 24, 2006, 11:40 AM
Personally, I think the Internet would not be anywhere near as interesting and informative without the "characters" that inhabit it. If nothing else, they force you to think.When they force you to think of new and better security measures, they may not be worth it.

Freedom in theSkies
October 26, 2006, 01:46 AM
Wow! I did'nt think that so many of you fine upstanding folks would remember him.
I used to call a buddy of mine every time there was a new post by him. We would laugh hysterically for what seemed to be hours, but was probably more like WEEKS!
Some people's children....:banghead:

psyopspec
October 26, 2006, 02:12 AM
It’s the quiet ones you gotta watch. SF guys keep it on the low-down for the element of surprise.

In your story, the "quiet one" didn't start anything - he just finished it.

Autolycus
October 27, 2006, 04:26 AM
Just read this...

http://blog.myspace.com/everymanafreeman

It is the myspace ninja.

got cope?
October 27, 2006, 06:47 AM
Wow.

Bart Noir
October 27, 2006, 04:37 PM
You establish your credentials when you use Brit-speak. "kitted-out", "nancyboys" Heck, I can tell you served alongside the elite Kensington Mall Action Service (KisMaAS) in your earlier career. I've seen just enough to hint that they test new gear for the SAS.

I find it odd that the undercover aspect of this dangerous job, just isn't being talked about. I guess that is air-tight OPSEC.

Bart Noir

carterbeauford
October 27, 2006, 04:47 PM
Just read this...

http://blog.myspace.com/everymanafreeman

It is the myspace ninja.

wish I had that much time on my hands. obviously a joke, as if any more reason was needed to not visit myspace.

If you enjoyed reading about "The Mall Ninja" here in TheHighRoad.org archive, you'll LOVE our community. Come join TheHighRoad.org today for the full version!