powerstrk
May 26, 2003, 11:21 AM
Wes Skoglund: A regular utopia of firearms freedom
Wes Skoglund
Published May 25, 2003 SKOG25
Imagine a call-in radio show featuring a national gun lobbyist answering questions about Minnesota's new pistol-carrying law. Let's listen in:
"I want to thank you all and especially Gov. Pawlenty for rushin' this bill through. Those other states we lobby are just too deliberative; they spend too much time readin' bills and gettin' into details. Your guv signed it minutes after it passed. And if Minnesotans arm themselves just as fast, you can be a regular utopia of firearms freedom, like Mogadishu or Yemen.
"Let's get to the first caller; what's your question?"
"Yee haw! How do I get one of those gun permits?"
"Easy: Take a couple hours self-defense shootin' and deadly force course, plunk down the fee, show 'em a Xerox of your driver's license and you're licensed to pack some heat."
"I got in some trouble; spent a little time in the can on a few scrapes -- can I still carry?"
"What sort of crimes?"
"Little stuff, you know, window-peekin', indecent exposure, public brawlin' -- nothing much, really."
"No problem. Those aren't felonies -- the police have to give you a permit."
"What about cruelty to animals?"
"Still no problem."
"Repeat drunk drivin'?"
"Sure, you can even be a three-time loser and still get a permit. Just stay away from liberal states like Texas or Kentucky. They're tough -- even make you pay up on your child support before they give you a permit! Next caller?"
"I just moved from another state -- I'd rather not say where. How long do I have to wait to carry a gun here?"
"Wait? Are you kidding? Not under this law. Most other states have residency requirements of six months to a year. But your new law lets you sign up your first day in town. Oh yeah, don't worry about details. The new law prevents the police from asking silly questions like your actual former address. Just tell 'em the name of the state, that's good enough."
"Does that mean my out-of-state relatives can pack, too?"
"You can have the best-armed family reunion ever. Your relatives can either use their home permit or get one from Minnesota. Remember, being licensed to carry here is not just for Minnesotans. Next caller."
"I want to know about background-check things, like will they take fingerprints?"
"Can't. Prohibited by the new law."
"How about a photo?"
"That was in the old law. The new law repealed that nosy picture requirement."
"Well, actually, I'm under investigation for committing a crime."
"You worry too much. As long as you have not been officially charged, they have to give you your permit. Next caller."
"I rent a room from this family who's worried about their kids and made me sign a lease that prohibits guns."
"Typical gun grabbers. Tell 'em the new law prohibits bleeding-heart landlords from impairing your right to have a loaded gun around. Next."
"Protectin' myself from the constant threat of my fellow citizens makes me nervous, so I like a couple of drinks to steady my hand. Any problems?"
"Not anymore. The old permit had 'Not Valid When Consuming Alcohol or Drugs' printed right on it. But the new law lets you drink up to .04. Between that and .09, it's only a petty misdemeanor, like a parking ticket. So have a couple for me."
"Where can I carry?"
"Just about anywhere. The sandbox at the park, the Metrodome, the State Fair, library, grocery store, movie theater, church, you name it."
"How about schools and day care?"
"Well, if you say you didn't know it was a school (hint hint) they'll never convict you. But even if they do, it's only a misdemeanor."
"Wow, what a law! Did Minnesota copy your home state Mississippi's law?"
"Heck, Pawlenty's trying so hard to be like Mississippi, he passed us up! In Mississippi, we require a one-year residency period, forbid violent misdemeanants from carrying guns, don't allow drinking and have the decency to ban guns from places of worship. Same is true for most of the states down here. Hey, it's 'Do as I say, not as I do.' Sooner or later you'll wake up."
Wes Skoglund, DFL-Minneapolis, is a member of the Minnesota Senate.
Startribe Artical (http://www.startribune.com/stories/1519/3897911.html) :fire:
This kind of dribble burns me up!
Wes Skoglund
Published May 25, 2003 SKOG25
Imagine a call-in radio show featuring a national gun lobbyist answering questions about Minnesota's new pistol-carrying law. Let's listen in:
"I want to thank you all and especially Gov. Pawlenty for rushin' this bill through. Those other states we lobby are just too deliberative; they spend too much time readin' bills and gettin' into details. Your guv signed it minutes after it passed. And if Minnesotans arm themselves just as fast, you can be a regular utopia of firearms freedom, like Mogadishu or Yemen.
"Let's get to the first caller; what's your question?"
"Yee haw! How do I get one of those gun permits?"
"Easy: Take a couple hours self-defense shootin' and deadly force course, plunk down the fee, show 'em a Xerox of your driver's license and you're licensed to pack some heat."
"I got in some trouble; spent a little time in the can on a few scrapes -- can I still carry?"
"What sort of crimes?"
"Little stuff, you know, window-peekin', indecent exposure, public brawlin' -- nothing much, really."
"No problem. Those aren't felonies -- the police have to give you a permit."
"What about cruelty to animals?"
"Still no problem."
"Repeat drunk drivin'?"
"Sure, you can even be a three-time loser and still get a permit. Just stay away from liberal states like Texas or Kentucky. They're tough -- even make you pay up on your child support before they give you a permit! Next caller?"
"I just moved from another state -- I'd rather not say where. How long do I have to wait to carry a gun here?"
"Wait? Are you kidding? Not under this law. Most other states have residency requirements of six months to a year. But your new law lets you sign up your first day in town. Oh yeah, don't worry about details. The new law prevents the police from asking silly questions like your actual former address. Just tell 'em the name of the state, that's good enough."
"Does that mean my out-of-state relatives can pack, too?"
"You can have the best-armed family reunion ever. Your relatives can either use their home permit or get one from Minnesota. Remember, being licensed to carry here is not just for Minnesotans. Next caller."
"I want to know about background-check things, like will they take fingerprints?"
"Can't. Prohibited by the new law."
"How about a photo?"
"That was in the old law. The new law repealed that nosy picture requirement."
"Well, actually, I'm under investigation for committing a crime."
"You worry too much. As long as you have not been officially charged, they have to give you your permit. Next caller."
"I rent a room from this family who's worried about their kids and made me sign a lease that prohibits guns."
"Typical gun grabbers. Tell 'em the new law prohibits bleeding-heart landlords from impairing your right to have a loaded gun around. Next."
"Protectin' myself from the constant threat of my fellow citizens makes me nervous, so I like a couple of drinks to steady my hand. Any problems?"
"Not anymore. The old permit had 'Not Valid When Consuming Alcohol or Drugs' printed right on it. But the new law lets you drink up to .04. Between that and .09, it's only a petty misdemeanor, like a parking ticket. So have a couple for me."
"Where can I carry?"
"Just about anywhere. The sandbox at the park, the Metrodome, the State Fair, library, grocery store, movie theater, church, you name it."
"How about schools and day care?"
"Well, if you say you didn't know it was a school (hint hint) they'll never convict you. But even if they do, it's only a misdemeanor."
"Wow, what a law! Did Minnesota copy your home state Mississippi's law?"
"Heck, Pawlenty's trying so hard to be like Mississippi, he passed us up! In Mississippi, we require a one-year residency period, forbid violent misdemeanants from carrying guns, don't allow drinking and have the decency to ban guns from places of worship. Same is true for most of the states down here. Hey, it's 'Do as I say, not as I do.' Sooner or later you'll wake up."
Wes Skoglund, DFL-Minneapolis, is a member of the Minnesota Senate.
Startribe Artical (http://www.startribune.com/stories/1519/3897911.html) :fire:
This kind of dribble burns me up!