[sonny]

Anybody have first hand experience?.......I have a close friend who is in for the fight of his life........It may get ugly.
Lot's of things to "divide"......I'm sad to say that there are also infant children involved.
:(

[MPFreeman]

Divorce is not even an option IMHO.

Marry well, live better. I can't imagine life without my bride.

[Mike Irwin]

Divorce laws vary WILDLY state by state.

[foghornl]

Mr. Irwin has it spot on, laws do vary wildly by state.

About 15-20 years back, when I was living in the South, and was looking at those laws, the laws/judges/family courts, etc were so wildly biased toward "Momma' that it was unreal. About the only way "Daddy" got custody of kids and kept the home was if "Momma" died in jail of a drug overdose.

It is somewhat more even now, but still a VERY long way from fair.

Hire the very best (i.e. meanest s.o.b.) lawyer you can find, and stay on the offensive of filing, documents, interrogatories, etc. Bury the other side in paper. No matter what they say right now, her family & friends will tell outrageous lies against you. Allegations of you being essentially a monster will come out, no matter how much of a good guy you actually are.

These are lessons learned the hard way be me.

[Jim March]

Here's how bad it can get:

http://www.equalccw.com/johnlaws/

:barf:

[Hkmp5sd]

Wife met new significant other, packed her stuff and moved out. Cost less than getting married did. Only thing of mine that left was a .38 I gave her when she departed.

[Don Gwinn]

That's some story, Jim. Just out of curiosity, what made you think the crazy lady put a hit on you?

[Ol' Badger]

THEY JUST WONT LISTEN!!! :cuss: :cuss: :banghead: :banghead:





:evil:

[Jim March]

Don: that's something I can't discuss. Sorry. But let's put it this way: just based on what I was publishing (those documents) what do you figure the odds were?

(Yes, I *did* have more to go on than just that.)

[Mike Irwin]

"THEY JUST WONT LISTEN!!!"

I'd never condone striking a woman (unless she struck first, and then it's equal rights all the way, folks), and I never raised a hand to my ex even when our marriage was spiraling down in flames...

But I shure as hell knows what could turn Mr. Hand into Mr. Fist.

[Hkmp5sd]

But I shure as hell knows what could turn Mr. Hand into Mr. Fist.

Mr. Spicoli (sp?) of course. Lots of people want to smack Sean Penn. :)

[Mike Irwin]

"Mr. Spicoli, of course..."

Wrong.

Sam Kinnison.

The late.

The great.

The only.

[hops]

Get a great lawyer, especially if kids are involved. It will help, but the male will usually still get the short end of the stick in most instances. I do know of instances where the female got the short end too.

I've been through the D as a child and adult. Amicable (relatively), in one case, and extremely hostile in the other (the child custody part- I was one of 2 children).

One note of concern. Keep a close eye on your friend. Give him all the emotional and spritual support you can. My best friend, even though we live in different states managed to do what he could for me. Read a piece by chance when I was going through my D , that men are at a far greater risk to suicide during a divorce. I was very depressed - lost 20 pounds over 6 months - but suicide did not even enter my thoughts). Women are at less risk, due to their 'female emotional support network.'

[megatronrules]

Thats why I won't ever get married I don't see the point personaly but thats just me. I have alot of friends who have been married and then divorced out of 8 pairs I personaly know only 1 of these couple's marrige's last over 2 years. Also NEVER EVER!!! get married because you have a kid with a girl it almost never works.

I have heard to many horror stories and don't want to suject myself to that. To me women in general aren't trust worthy now I'am not trying to insult women I do know some who are faithfull to thair men and who aern't backstabbers. But they are few and far between. I also know a girl who and i'll quote here "dosen't sleep with more then one guy when seeing another" But she did one on saturday and one on sunday literally. Can you guys here on THR say hypocrite?

I go by the law of averages and logic and they dictate most women are worthless! Most women in my age group 24 and up like a**holes nice guys finish last and they do alot of j**kingoff on the way to the finish line. I've seen guys who are real a**holes and they have the hottist girls always. I've heard more times then you can count "your a real nice guy but........" I'll finish it for them here "I want a guy whos an a**hole,who treats me like ???? and uses me" "Then I can complain to my girlfriends and get sympathy for it" In short they want the a**holes to do them and the nice guy to cry on our shoulder.

I realize some here who are women or who have been happily married may be offended by my comments here. Thats not my goal but I say what I feel and this is how I feel. I can't stand guys who act the part or play captain save- a-ho. I saw a girl getting beat on once and a friend said to me "hey man you have a gun do something" I could have 10 guns on me I'am not a cop they get paid to deal with those type of things not me. I'am not gonna shoot a guy to maybe get a gratitude f**k.

You have girls who are in an abusive relationship and they say they can't get out? how do you figure? you call the cops and have the p.o.s. arrested,you take your things and leave the house,get a restraining order,if you feel he's capable of violence get a gun. This isn't rocket science people. I'am sorry for the long rant guys but had to say how I felt.

[VaughnT]

Oddly enough, I have a friend that might just be going through this very situation in the very near future. What I'm not sure about is the difference between a divorce and an anullment (?). Is the latter on a time deadline? Can you not get one after so many months/years?

He got married young and fast. Bad decision. He chose trailer-park trash instead of someone who might elevate him. Badder decision. He's living with the results.

As to women in general, I laugh at their hypocritical behavior...when I'm not crying at the injustice of it all. I've sworn off the idea of marriage and agree with a lot of what Megatron says. Sad days, these.

[sonny]

Mega.......Woah!....you said a mouthfull......my advice to you (if you want it ) is never say never.
Times have changed and I'm glad my kids are boys instead of girls.....it's getting ugly out there .....the dating seen ain't what it used to be.......I've been lucky so far........I hate to say it but I believe LUCKY is the key word.

[Don Gwinn]

My advice to you is to start putting a little sugar in your coffee. The bitterness is starting to come out of your pores. Everybody has these days.

Women all have days when they think every man is a cheating, lying ape barely capable of primitive speech and upright posture.

Men all have days when they think all women are cheating, gold-digging, manipulative demons.


Both wrong.

[spartacus2002]

An anullment is merely legal BS saying you were never really married. You can get an anullment in most states if you married your sister, were underage, or your wife was a prostitute before you married (and you didn't know), or if your wife was pregnant by someone else when you got married (and you didn' t know).

Don't confuse that with Catholic Church anullment. That is merely a church process that allows you to get remarried in the Catholic Church.

Divorce laws tend to follow the same general lines from state to state. The issue is how the judge applies them. Custody battles are a b****. If you are a man, the deck is stacked against you. I know that statement will probably release the floodgates of women who claim they got the shaft (and they probably did), but as long as divorce attorneys keep telling men "don't bother fighting for custody, you won't win", then the system sucks.

Try to settle what you can rather than litigate. All it does is make the lawyers richer (and that's fact, not lawyer bashing--hell, I'm one myself). It is amazing how much dough you can blow in court and have NOTHING to show for it.

Remember, with the kids, nothing is permanent. Don't settle for something ridiculous, like 1 day a month, but don't feel like 2 weekends a month is all you can ever get.

[sonny]

Without picking things apart .....who thinks infidelity by one of the partners should be a major factor in the divorce settlement?
Lets assume the non cheating partner was performing their general "duties" as a partner

[spartacus2002]

I'd like to see marriage be purely a contract issue. Anything you want after divorce, you put in a prenuptual agreement. Would make folks think a hell of a lot harder about what they are getting into and would give certainty as to what they would get if they got out. Enforcement would be a contract enforcement issue, not a family law issue.

Anything's better than the system we have now.

After all, ask yourself this: what business of govt's is it whether, how, or why people get married? Don't give me that line about "the state has an interest in people being in wholesome relationships for the sake of society and kids, etc." That is not govt's business.

[winwun]

What makes it work is if both pull together, have the same goals.

My ex thought that money was for down payments.

She would work hard to find out what I wanted and then work harder to see that I didn't get it.

I tried to make it work. I tried for 22 years.

My present wife is a jewell. 25 plus years, and it seems like a few months.