[Jim March]

Greetings,

As most of you know, I have a political activism background in the "weasel wars", the fight to legalize pet ferrets in California.

Yes, this is going to stray back on topic. Bear with me.

During the latter half of the 19th century, Southern states like Mississippi used discretionary gun carry permits for racist purposes. This has been well documented by Cramer, Cottrell and other scholars. Less well known is that by 1898, Ol' Miss had adapted the rules first meant to disarm to other civil rights violations - by that year, it became necessary to get a discretionary permit to *vote*.

So not only is gun control a civil rights violation, the evil ideas developed there can migrate to other freedom restrictions.

Which brings us to ferrets.

This year, a bill was proposed (SB89) to finally legalize skinnykitties. Sorta. It would make any ferret already in-state by a certain date legal, but ban future imports.

We would, in effect, have "pre-ban" and "post-ban" pet ferrets.

:scrutiny:

It gets better. As the bill has worked through the legislature, amendments have been added. One calls for the required issuance of permits by the Department of Fish & Game, and another sets a sunset on the legalization after only one year, unless the state legislature renews.

So wienercat owners would have a bitter choice: get the permit and get legal now, and risk letting DFG know about your ferts once the bill sunsets, or staying underground.

Where have I heard that before?

Does registration lead to confiscation?

About 250,000 California ferret owners are about to face that question.

Unfreakinbelievable.

Note that the ferret people are fighting back - here's a link to a set of maps on how to get around the agricultural inspection points via back roads, for interstate ferret smugglers:

http://www.ferretsanonymous.com/maps.html

:neener:

[Preacherman]

Jim, watch out for restrictions on ferret muzzle brakes, not to mention exhaust regulations! :D

Unbelievable how bureaucrats can screw up something so simple, isn't it?...

[Jim March]

Ya, the "pre-ban" could have more "evil features" or something :scrutiny:.

When the ferret ban finally ends, I'll sorta miss it, in that no finer condemnation of the prohibitionist mindset exists :barf:.

[Sir Galahad]

Jim, Jim, JIM!! Think of the children! What will happen if a child SEES a ferret? He could be traumatized! Didn't think of that, didja?:neener:

[Jim March]

Heh. Back when I had skinnies and took 'em to the local park most weekends, they'd attract *hordes* of astounded kids.

The best "kid related freakout" happened at a local laundymat.

See, when you're doing your "dirty duds" in San Francisco, you WATCH your stuff roll around in there, or some bum will have himself a whole new wardrobe :rolleyes:.

So I'm sitting there with Felix on my lap, reading, and this 5 year old walks up and says "Mister, is that a WEASEL?"

"Ya, he's basically a weasel, but he's friendly."

Felix is licking the kid's hand at this point, and the kid is delighted.

So he runs around to the other side and I hear him talking to his pop:

"Daddy, daddy, there's a weasel over there!"

"No, son, there's no weasel in this laundrymat, now go play."

"But daddy, there's a WEASEL!"

"No, it's just your imagination, there's no weasel, now lemme fold these socks!"

Kid comes back over looking depressed, says "he didn't believe me!"

What to do, what to do.

:evil:

So I lay Felix on the kid's shoulder and follow a few paces behind...

"Daddy, daddy, LOOK, it's a WEASEL!"

Daddy: "AAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

:evil:

I rapidly explained he's a tame pet...:)

But I'll bet good money pop will take Jr. a little more seriously next time :neener:.

[CleverNickname]

So if your breeding pair of legal pre-ban ferrets has a litter, are the babies legal, or are you guilty of manufacturing a post-ban ferret? :)

[Sir Galahad]

Seriously, though, the reason cited by "animal control" authorities for the ferret ban is they allegedly prey on songbirds. Truth is, the amount of birds killed by escaped ferrets can probably be counted as a hundred or less each year. The ferret is going to prey primarly on rodents. BUT----!!!!! Peoples perfectly legal roaming cats, both feral and domestics allowed outdoors kill MILLIONS of birds EACH year. The Audubon Society will verify that. (See the "Cats Indoors!" program.) Once again, the state shows its complete ignorance.

[Jim March]

:)

It's a moot point though (regarding "production") because home breeding is very difficult.

The male ferrets stink like crazy during "the season" unless neutered/de-scented.

The females have a bigger problem: they die unless bred :eek:. Seriously - a female ferret that goes into heat and doesn't get preggers suffers an 80% mortality rate per season. The cure is to spay.

If you do have a breeding pair, you must keep them outdoors, because indoor lighting will put them back into season too often, and the female won't last a year :(.

The good news is, they get fixed at age 3 weeks by the breeders and are all healed up by 8weeks when they hit the pet shops.

The upshot: the spay/neuter rate among pet ferrets is up over 98% - WAY more than dogs or cats. In the 48 states where they're legal, every single ferret shelter is a no-kill shelter.

So which one gets banned?

:rolleyes:

[Standing Wolf]

Yeah, but can you get a license to carry concealed ferrets?

[general]

The problem with CCW (Concealed Carry Weasel) is, as Dave Barry once so eloquently put it.....
"There are weasels chomping on my underpants!":what: :D

[KC]

hmmm, so is a pregnant female is a hicap or post-ban? (Which itself begs the question, are there LEO ferrets?) Do you need to keep your ferrets locked up lest some deranged crackhead steal one and rob the local 7-11 with it?

Besides, this is an inappropriate topic to post. Everybody knows that the 2nd Amendment is very explicit about keeping and arming bears, not ferrets. The framers of the Constitution never concieved of citizens owning their own ferrets when the document was written, and considering how many people die every year due to illicit use of ferrets, private posession of one should be a felony. Do it for the children.


KC

[Sergeant Bob]

Is that a weasel in your pocket? Or are you just happy to see me?

Sorry, I've been waiting for that opening for months!

[Jim March]

http://www.ferretnews.org/bustedlr.gif

:)

See also:

http://www.ferretnews.org

http://www.ferretcompany.com/

They tend to get along fine with other critters:

http://www.ferretcompany.com/art/03.koneko.lg.jpg

http://www.ferretcompany.com/art/03.babie.lg.jpg

http://www.ferretcompany.com/art/gallery2002/Sisters.jpg

http://www.ferretcompany.com/art/gallery2002/Pinkie_Honey_Silver

http://www.ferretcompany.com/art/gallery2002/Mojo.JPG

[Carnitas]

Dont forget, this high intensity, high stakes battle over weasels is being waged while this state swirls in the financial toilet bowl with massive depth, bloated govt payrolls, huge illegal problems, strained and neglected infrastructure, courrupt governor, potholes, and power outages.

Any legislator found debating weasels, 50 caliber rifles, or the fat content of oreos should be charged with violating their oath of office, and shot.

[QuickDraw]

Carnitas,
You took the words right out of my mouth!
These clowns have much more important work to do than worry
about all those you mentioned(and much more).
I have a front row seat to the greatest clown show in California!

QuickDraw

[ravinraven]

But isn't this a lot more fun than worrying about the financial toilet old Kalif. is swirling down, down, down.....

And I thought I had problems!

rr

[KC]

well, given that I am very bored with the bread and circuses that I am provided with, I should do something....Hey! Let's all go and riot at the Hippodrome...er, baseball game.
UP WITH GREEN!
DOWN WITH PURPLE!

[Mute]

Yeah, but are they full-auto assault ferrets?

[Ian Sean]

How can you tell a pre-ban from a post-ban?

Is the state going to tattoo a serial # on each ferret?

Will there be a limit on litter capacity?

If he dies, what stops you from "straw purchasing" in Nevada to replace him and saying thats him all along? Fed legislation will be required to prohibit straw purchasing. Plus an insta-check system.

[Ewok]

More ferret pics:

http://www.fotolog.net/the_ferret/

[Shalako]

No one NEEDS a ferret.

We should tax ferrets to fund all the humane shelters.

Ferrets should only be in the hands of the government.


:evil:

[Ian Sean]

How about a 1000% tax on ferret fodder?

[Bruce H]

Why is it that the same people,(elected representatives) who think up inane things like this also saw fit to outlaw murder? Did they see what would happen to them?

[Marko Kloos]

So wienercat owners...

:D

[Jim March]

They'll probably put a tax on "ferret tea".

OK, this is real: if you have gopher problems, find somebody with a ferret. Beg from them a plastic sandwitch baggie's worth of ferret poop straight from the litterbox.

Dump it in an old gallon milk jug, fill it with water, let it sit in the sun for a couple days.

Pour a bit of the results in every gopher hole.

The gophers will *quickly* boogie outta there.

:p

[Jim March]

Slang terms for "ferret":

Carpet sharks, ferts, skinnykitties, weinercats, uglypuppies, "HEY YOU, LEGGO MY SOCKS", "Madagascan Long Squirrel" (California only, when talking to cops), houseweasels, cat toys, cuddleslinkies, and a bunch more.

[Esky]

Hey, if the're banned in California then they must be good!

Guess I'll have to get me one of these too-

Esky

[ravinraven]

Yeah. That ferret do and water and two days of sunshine makes a great perfume. Rub a little behind each of your daughter's ears before she goes out on that hot date and she'll be home early.

rr

[Esky]

Oh Jim...

Dear God, how can I say this...

Does this mean, can it mean...

That you are-

Part of the,

The, ummmm, well... the












AXIS of WEASELS???

Esky
heading rapidly toward the door

[jmbg29]

Is there going to be a special exemption for LEOs vis-a-vis the ownership of post-ban/high-capacity tube-rats?

[Mithrandir]

NO......I AM AXIS of WEASELS!!!!


errr...

Sparticus.....

errr..

oh well.....



out...

[MrAcheson]

Jim,

You forgot the ever so common "tube rat".

[Marko Kloos]

[geek mode]

That "wienercat" moniker is cute, but not entirely accurate. Zoologically, the ferret is a mustelid, and those are closer related to dogs than to cats.

[/geek mode]

[Jim March]

Right, I know they're mustelids. Same bunch as badgers, otters, wolverines, mink, weasel, etc.

There's some dispute about skunks. They were classed with mustelids for a long time, but there's a lot of argument to make 'em their own thing under order Carnivora.

See, under "carnivore", you've got the felines (cats), canines (dogs), ursine (bears), viveridae (mongoose and civet), mustelid, and I forget the rest. Raccoons are one, and the Panda is yet another. If the mustelids are "closest" to any of these, I'd say it's viveridae...African pygmy mongoose look so much like ferrets it's hilarious.