Gun ownership has ruined the movies for me


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Oatka
January 6, 2003, 02:13 PM
A sidebar to the “Guns in Movies” thread.

I just finished watching “Panic Room”, starring super fox Jodie Foster, and got in trouble with the missus. No, not from panting over Jodie, but from saying every 10 minutes, “Now here’s where she picks up the shotgun/handgun and blows away the bad guys.”

After the third time, she told me she’d leave the room if I kept it up (she should be used to this by now). I told her that half the movies Hollywood made wouldn’t go past 10 minutes if the people in danger were armed.

“Panic Room” seems to be one of those “Let’s create a tension-filled situation and drag it out for 90 minutes” movies. Like I said, I have a weakness for Jodie (not like Hinckley :eek: ) and I did enjoy the McGuyver-type of solutions she came up with. Nevertheless . . .

What started me on this thread was a piece in Fred’s column in Shotgun News. It dealt with the same subject (I showed it to my wife.). He copied it from a site he can’t remember, so maybe someone can give credit where credit is due.

Here’s the clip:

CUJO: “Oh no! I’m trapped in my car by a large, rabid dog. Where did I put my Glock?”

THE BIRDS: “Boy, the air is so thick with birds, you don’t even have to aim.”

SIGNS: “Unarmed aliens are trying to kill us? Grab the AK boys, we’re goin’ a-huntin’.”

FARGO: “Oh no, two men have broken into my house and are trying to kidnap me. How will I ever get those bloodstains out of the carpet?” [This is my favorite example and I lay it on people every chance I get. If that gal had grabbed a gun instead of the telephone, seven innocent people would not have died. The lead-in said it was based on a true story. – Oatka]

FRIDAY THE 13th: “If I can’t actually kill Jason, he’s going to look pretty darn funny walking around after I blow his head off with a 12-gauge.”

ANY ZOMBIE MOVIE: “Well, we’re trapped in a house surrounded by flesh-eating zombies. Good thing we have a couple of belt-fed weapons around, isn’t it?”

THE FUGUTIVE: “Good thing my wife was able to shoot her one-armed attacker. He was trying to murder her and frame me for it.”

How many movie scenarios can you come up with where defensive gun usage would have cut short the movie?

Come to think of it, it would be a great game to play with an anti-: "Remember the movie xxx? What do you think would have happened if the people had been armed?" Maybe you'll plant a seed. ;)

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J Miller
January 6, 2003, 02:27 PM
How many movie scenarios can you come up with where defensive gun usage would have cut short the movie?

More than my poor tired brain can count.

Maybe thats why these slasher, screamer, terrorized people, horror movies don't get my money.

Steel
January 6, 2003, 03:09 PM
I too hate the tired old hollyweird gun cliches and inaccuracies.

What IS with the movie "Signs"? I liked it -- edge of your seat stuff, but the dude was a farmer and had no gun and didn't even run out and buy one? what about varmints ?

Same with the Cujo movie (though the movie was lamo compared to the book -- as is almost alway the case with Stephen King novels!). That dog really needed some buckshot.

Yohan
January 6, 2003, 04:10 PM
You'd think that alien life forms capable of creating advanced spacecrafts would have better things to do than to jump around from roof to roof-

*Spoiler Ahead*
Also, if they react violently to water, why would they goto earth, which is mostly water- Ever heard of humidity? Yeah- very logical indeed.

JohnK
January 6, 2003, 04:49 PM
Very true Oatka, I often do the same thing to the annoyance of my wife too. I thought the same thing during SIGNS, what kind of rural farmhouse doesn't have at least a 22 LR or 20ga shotgun around for pest control?

Any of the "I'm out alone on the highway and get attacked by a random psycho" movies would last about 5 minutes if they kept a gun with them or at least in the car somewhere.

Coronach
January 6, 2003, 05:04 PM
Gun ownership has ruined movies for me, and I spread the misery to everyone I that goes to the movies with me. :D

"Gee...good thing he has a gun. Oh, wait...he doesn't."

"See? Yet another problem that could be solved by the venerable .45 ACP."

Mike

UnknownSailor
January 6, 2003, 05:05 PM
My favorite (NOT!) of this genrae, the Scream series.

"Oh, my God, this guy's after me with a 5" hunting knife! How will explain the corpse to the Police!"

MAKOwner
January 6, 2003, 05:14 PM
At least in Panic Room it wasn't Jodie who had outfitted and setup the safe room thing. And she had just moved in. Before seeing it I was expecting to be annoyed to no end that she had no gun, but the fact that she had just moved in made it alot easier. Of course she didn't own any guns already, so she probably wouldn't have, but still....

Signs was just ridiculous. The guy had several days to go and buy some guns if his freakin farm had none on it to start with. I mean, he sees a freakin alien on his roof, and in his cornfield, and has one attack him underneath a door, and he doesn't want to arm himself at any point? Plus they've been all over the TV, saying there are aliens all over the world? I would have emptied the gunstore of guns and ammo.... Heh, bunch of unarmed aliens trying to attack your farmhouse might actually be fun, lol. Sure would make for a fun movie if they all had HDRs and stuff.... And yes, the water thing was ridiculous. Running around in the nighttime cornfield I think the aliens would have gotten miosture/dew/whatever all over themselves...

BenW
January 6, 2003, 05:20 PM
Gun ownership has ruined the movies for me

That's funny, movies have ruined gun ownership for me....:p

SkySlash
January 6, 2003, 05:32 PM
Clever Ben, but sadly true.

On the way out of the theater from seeing Panic Room, wife looks over and says something along the lines of, "Of all the things the room designer thought of to put in the room for survival, who would believe he wouldn't have added a gun or three?"

I looked back at her, and said, "Exactly."

We haven't seen any movies except Star Wars II and the LOTR and Two Towers since. I just can't stomach Hollywierd anymore. Between their assinine handle on physics, and their absurd liberal slanted scripts, it just doesn't do it for me anymore.

-SS

SkunkApe
January 6, 2003, 06:08 PM
In the horror film spoof "scary movie" there was a scene where the damsel in distress was being chased by the maked murderer. She passed a table in her house. On the table were a revolver, a large hunting knife, a hand grenade, and a banana. She grabbed the banana. I never quite understood the significance of the banana, but it was hilarious nonetheless.

vi9er
January 6, 2003, 06:17 PM
It was just there to be the most useless item possible. Couldn't have been an apple, you can throw those too hard. I gues a small sponge would have had the same effect.
:D
Ed

spacemanspiff
January 6, 2003, 06:24 PM
aside from the obvious flaws in 'signs', the idea that aliens would invade and the news media would be able to freely report on it didnt set well with me.

with all that gets suppressed by the powers that be, i'm positive that the media would be prevented from publicly announcing the potential demise of this country.

RobW
January 6, 2003, 06:39 PM
What do you expect from Hollyweird? Conclusive, logic, intelligent stories?

BWAHAHAHAHAHAH! :neener:

TheeBadOne
January 6, 2003, 06:46 PM
I always like Chuck Norris in "Invasion USA" where shoulder held rocket launchers (like the LAW and Dragon) must be clip fed as they fire numerous rockets from them w/o reloading. Chuckie himself manges to fire 2 rounds out of his semi-auto M203.............:rolleyes:

4v50 Gary
January 6, 2003, 09:25 PM
What RobW says. What do you expect from Hollywierd?

It's entertainment for many, brainwashing for others, and pure trash for the rest of us. I saw two movies last year. One to kill time before my flight and the other because I was running around with an old school chum.

Blackhawk
January 6, 2003, 10:40 PM
Hollywood ruined the movies for me.

Patrons ruined going to the movies so that theaters need to be flushed between showings.

Skunkabilly
January 6, 2003, 10:49 PM
One word.

WOLVERIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINES!!!!!

TheeBadOne
January 6, 2003, 11:50 PM
Hey, Red Dawn was still cool in it's own way (but gotta agree on firearm realizm......:rolleyes: )

bastiat
January 7, 2003, 12:04 AM
Hey, Fred took it from my site!

http://www.flashbunny.org/commentary/hollywood.html

Boy, the NRA magazine and shotgun news all in one month. (Insert 'head swollen from ego' smilie icon here)

Average Guy
January 7, 2003, 12:31 AM
I used to announce weapon errors to my wife. You can imagine how proud I was when, after the academy, she pointed out something on TV and said, "No, that's not right..." :D

Monte Harrison
January 7, 2003, 09:29 AM
My wife gets annoyed because I count the shots fired by people on the screen.

NewShooter78
January 7, 2003, 09:44 AM
Skunkabilly said it best. I think Red Dawn is probably my fav movie in the last 20 or so years. I have gotten into the bad habit of counting shots fired in films, especially when revolvers are involved. My father and I ruined watching films with my mother. He was in the military for almost 30 years, and he wont even watch Vietnam movies anymore because of Hollyweird's way of senstionalizing everything. But oddly enough he eats up most movies about WWII, especially those featuring The Duke.

Hkmp5sd
January 7, 2003, 10:07 AM
For those that need an outlet for their gun mistakes (and any other movie mistakes), check out NitPickers (http://home.nitpickers.com/)

Oleg Volk
January 7, 2003, 10:19 AM
First time I watched The Untouchables around 1992, I liked it. Watched it again in 1997 and was appalled...not by the predictably silly gun handling, but by the un-Constitutional and illegal actions of the supposed good guys. That's how being on the side of RKBA and other rights ruins movies!

Double Naught Spy
January 7, 2003, 10:28 AM
Of course, it isn't just guns. Movie makers screw up things at all sorts of levels. For example, in Smokey and the Bandit, Bandit's TransAm can be heard as he is accelerating and shifting through all the gears...but it has an automatic, not standard transmission!

Since Red Dawn was mentioned as a favorite where gun physics have been violated, what amazes me even more about the movie is that it serves as a hypothetical model, the "Red Dawn Scenario," that some gun nuts choose to use as part of the preparation for coming events and as justification for needing guns. Of all the lame-brained models on which to base preparedness and to justify gun owners, there are few that are much worse. I would count Red Dawn as about as realistic as "When Mars Attacks."

NewShooter78
January 7, 2003, 10:42 AM
I know Red Dawn isn't accurate, but it's still one of those movies that I love. I saw it when I was younger, and still really like the patriotic overtones.

KMKeller
January 7, 2003, 10:43 AM
I can't tell you how many times my wife has told me to shut up so she can watch the movie...

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