You might be a gun nut if...


March 9, 2007, 03:04 AM
-If You've ever dabbed a little Hoppe's on your neck before going on a date...
-If you bought checkering tools, checkered all your gunstocks and are now starting on the bedposts...
-If you cannot really recall just how many guns you own...
-If your computer passwords are gun related...
If watching the Lion King gives you the itch for a .458 Win mag
-If you alternate Silvertips, Hydra-Shoks and Black Talons in your magazines because they look prettier that way........
-if you don't know that there is a difference between "the Internet" and The High Road

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March 9, 2007, 08:02 AM
i can relate to 4 of those.

Smokey Joe
March 9, 2007, 12:39 PM
...You were a Borg, you'd be 6 of 357.

...You save brass for which you have no firearm.

...You buy a firearm because you have brass for that cartridge saved up.

...You buy reloading supplies and dies in anticipation of buying a particular firearm.

...You buy a particular milsurp to "see if it's accurate," then when it proves not to be so, you buy 3 more of the same model to see if one of them might be more accurate.

...You heatedly engage in the "Bubba-ize milsurps or don't" discussion--on either side!

...You have ever bought any firearm as a "project gun."

...You have ever been in an argument about the Accu-Trigger.

...(And with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy) You know there is a particular firearm somewhere in your house that you can not find.


Rick O'Shea
March 9, 2007, 12:46 PM
You look at your underwear and think, "Failure To Load!" :what: , then remember that they're Fruit of The Loom's...

Mr White
March 9, 2007, 01:15 PM
... your email address contains the characters 762, 556, 223, 9mm, or 45ACP.

... the age old debates of Remington vs Winchester or RCBS vs Lyman have ever come to blows at a family reunion.

... you've ever asked your wife to get rid of something of hers from the basement so that you have more room to store ammo.

... you have an entire room or more strictly devoted to gun stuff.

... you have to go in and change your underwear after getting the mail on the day the Brownells catalog is delivered.

... you feel that if Zumbo is still breathing, he got off too easy.

... you can't watch an episode of 24 or CSI without wanting to puke on the rug and smash the TV with a baseball bat.

... on Wednesday nights, you're sure to be found sitting in front of the TV, watching the Outdoor Channel.

... the mere mention of the name Pelosi makes your skin crawl.

... you don't have any real friends, just a bunch of fellow gun nuts you talk to on the Internet.

March 9, 2007, 02:22 PM
-If you make a scene in a movie theater when a "human" gets shot (center mass) with a .30 cal rifle and just runs off holding where he got shot. :fire:

March 9, 2007, 03:32 PM
If your wife congratulats you for finely acheving the goal of having a gun in every single room of the house (bathroom included)

March 9, 2007, 03:36 PM
How many do you qualify for?

You ever seriously thought about dabbing a little Hoppe's #9 on your neck before going out on a date.
You buy a gun that's just like that other gun you have except the barrel is 1/2" shorter (longer).
You ever clean a gun that hasn't been shot in the week since you cleaned it last.
You ever bought ammo/reloading dies in a caliber for which you have no gun, because you thought some day you MIGHT get a gun in that caliber.
You bought a barrel of Garand clips for the Garand you're going to buy.
You ever bought two brands of the same weight and type of bullet, just to see if one "shot better".
You ever had to explain "It's not the SAME gun, it's a different VARIANT".
You read the sports section/classifieds just for the gun ads.
You have ever had your local gun store call your house and ask "We are doing a stock order, did you need anything??"
You do all metric-to-English unit conversions starting with the phrase, "Well thirty caliber is .308 inches and 7.62mm, so…"
You've ever risked your life for that one piece of brass that landed just a little too far beyond the firing line.
You've ever carried your toiletries into a hotel in New York City contained in a .50 cal ammo can.
You've ever slept more than five minutes while lying strapped to your rifle in prone position, waiting for the "commence fire" command.
Your alarm clock actually screams, "Ready on the RIGHT! Ready on the LEFT! Ready on the FIRING LINE! LOAD! COMMENCE FIRE!"
You've ever tried to quote the ingredients list off a bottle of Action Scrubber to your eye doctor while explaining why your contact lens melted.
You've ever gotten naked from the waist down at the reloading/cleaning bench because of a tipped bottle of #9.
You've ever shot offhand through a thunderstorm while standing in water because the other 150 members of your relay kept going until the targets washed out.
When you get ready for bed, you're still picking grains of H335 out of your hair, toothbrush, and underwear.
You've ever bragged about the size of the groups your semi-auto throws with its empty brass.
You notice that every time you look at a digital clock it reads 1:17, 2:19, 2:20, 2:22, 2:23, 2:43, 2:57, 3:03, 3:08, 3:57, 4:04, 4:16, 4:44, 4:58, 5:56 or any of about fifty-odd caliber's you instantly recognize.
The fact that you happened to look at the clock at of one of these times means it's SHOOTIN' TIME!
In order to fully put your trust in the riot shotgun you bought to lean behind the door you feel you have to put it through its paces by taking it duck hunting. AND, you destroyed your wife's favorite mop-handle to make a plug for the magazine.
After realizing that you DO own one of every caliber, you find that you should have at least TWO of each so that they can "share ammo." This explains how you consider your Anschutz 2013 and your Mitchell AK-22 to be "Companion Guns." And your Churchill side-by-side .410 with the fancy English walnut stock to be a companion to your "Thunder 5" revolver. An your Barret .50 BMG to be the companion to your Desert Eagle .50AE.
You make all combinations to locks into things like 223, 357, 380, 308, 243, etc.
You practice your draw when walking along a path at work and scare someone (unarmed - like air guitar).
You take out your ammo and arrange different rounds in a pretty little row. And if you ask your teenage daughter to look at it, so you can explain stopping power to her.
If Federal sends you Christmas cards and the wife flowers on your anniversary.
If Sierra goes on double shifts when you place your order.
When in church, after the collection plate is passed, the usher has to pick out .22 shells you had mixed in with your change.
Your primary cubicle decoration at work or on your fridge at home is your best target group.
You've removed your HOOTERS calendar and replaced it with a Remington.
Rather than give out business cards, you long ago rationalized it was cheaper to take out a classified ad in Shotgun News.
You have so many classified ads in Shotgun News that they have to give you a separate listing in their table of contents.
Every time you decide to sell leftover parts from your Garand restoration projects, prices at the Gun Show and even at the DCM are affected.
Every year you bug your accountant to run an cost/time savings analysis on the possible purchase of Springfield Museum versus collecting Garand variations one at a time.
You go to three different gun shows within a month and you're excited every single time.
Your guns are cleaner than your home.
You have 5 different guns being DROS'd at 3 different FFL dealers.
Four local gun shops know you by name.
You're friends with 90%-100% of the employee's at every one of those shops.
You can wallpaper your house with old issues of Shotgun News, Gun List, Guns & Ammo, etc.
You're a computer specialist and you have more issues of Shotgun News and Gun List than MacWeek and PCWeek.
You bought 7 or more AK-47's just so you could have different ones from different countries (Bulgarian, Romanian, Russian, Yugoslavian, Egyptian, Chinese, etc.)
Your phone number, license plate, extension at work, PIN etc. relates to some kind of bullet caliber ON PURPOSE.
You can read the same issue of SGN/GL/etc. everyday until a new issues comes out.
You tag pages in SGN/GL for later reference
You own enough guns to arm everyone on your block.
You own 4 AR-15's configured EXACTLY the same but by different manufactures (Colt, Bushmaster, Olympic Arms, Armalite, etc.) just because you can.
The last 5 guns you bought are never to be fired.
You'd rather have a $10,000 PSG-1 and drive a $600 car rather than drive a $10,000 car and have a $600 gun.
You preach how stupid gun laws/bans are at work when you work in a predominately ANTI-gun company.
You rather ban alcohol than hi-cap clips/mags.
You spend more on ammo each month than on food.
Your guns are worth twice as much as your car.
You list your local FFL dealer as a dependent on your tax return.
If a topless joint with free admission is half a mile away, and instead you drive 40 miles to the shooting range on a Saturday night.
You alternate silvertips and hydra-shocks in your magazines because they look prettier that way.
You guess range and windage whenever you look at road signs.
You name your first-born boy MAK90.
You name your first-born girl LadySmith.
Your keep your kid's huggies come in camo battlepacks.
You get more tense when 007 runs out of ammo than when the Bond girl strips.
Your key-ring fob is a converted .50 BMG cartridge.
Your driver's license says "must wear night-vision goggles".
You watch La Femme Nikita just to see the Beretta 93R.
If "Miller Time" means plinking at beer cans.
If the highlight of your week is discovering that six .40 SW hollowpoints fit perfectly in a plastic 35mm film canister. (5 up/1 down in the middle).
You put a Hogue Grip on your car's parking brake
You retrofit a laser sight to your TV remote control.
Your favorite NBA team is the Boston KelTecs.
You've ever contemplated putting laser or adjustable sights on your derringer.
Your wife wants to wear black leather, so you buy her a carry holster.
You have Trijicon Night-lights in your bedroom.
Your mailbox has a Weaver Rail on top.
You can't figure out why your non-shooting friends laugh when you say "Bushmaster".
You would like to see Bill Clinton or Sarah Brady spend even one hour after midnight at a Washington, DC bus-stop without their bodyguards.
The custom door lock pulls on your Jeep are .223 Rem cases and the gear shift knob is a .50 BMG.
Your girlfriend thinks that aura of Hoppies #9 is your favorite after shave.
You have guns in your safe that you can't for the life of you remember how you came by.
You collect brass even though you only buy factory ammo.
When you hear or see the numbers 221 you automatically think "fireball", 257 you think "Roberts", 218 "Bee", 4570 "government" etc., etc. and can't stop.
Your pickup is subject to search at any given time because, in your state, empty cartridge cases rolling around the floor are considered probable cause.
If the only magazines in your john are "Shotgun News" and "The Blue Press".
You just buy a type of gun (say a Win Mod. 70) you love the rifle and go out and buy every Mod 70 but in different calibers. Which can lead to below.
Or: You fall in love with a caliber (say .243) and go a buy every different manufactured rifle in that caliber. Which can lead to the above.
Or: You by a Thompson Contender (or new equivalent) and then the barrels come in the mail once a week for __ years.
You start thinking of how you would go about reloading .22s
Your range time seems a lot like the male equivalent of tupperware parties and you end up wanting to buy another gun.
You run out of places to store/hide/harbor your collection.
If most of your VISA/MC bill includes charges to places like: MidSouth Shooters Supply, Widners, Graff&Son, Sinclair International, and Champions Choice.
You have an FFL license and the UPS delivery guy knows you by your first name.
You can spot spent brass at 50 paces.
You pick up brass in calibers you don't shoot, just in case.
Your e-mail address ends in
You had to have a ammo depot built in your back yard just to hold your extras.
You replaced your wife's walk-in closet with a walk-in gun safe.
Your Laz-E-Boy doubles as your handgun safe.
You bought 5000 5.56 bullet heads because you are afraid that the ban will go through and you'll have to shoot softpoints through your AR.
The smell of 30 year old cosmoline attracts you like perfume.
There's so many gun cases under the bed that the springs no longer sag.
You shout out gun names makes and calibers during every movie you go and see.
Every time you see a structure, you wonder what kind of penetration your favorite round will have on it.
You keep leaving home with the empty gun case, while telling your wife that you are taking that one gun to be fixed, and returning with a full gun case.
When someone talks about 12 gauge steel, you wonder if it has anything in common with shotguns.
When you have enough guns to take over a small third world country.
All your shirts say things like HK, Colt Mossberg, and all your hats have names of ammunition manufacturers.
You'd trade in your car for a Beta C-Mag.
You keep quoting Jeff Cooper while at work, and you're a priest.
Your pistol permit reads like a shopping list.
You get blisters on your fingers from loading magazines.
You bought a Russian SKS so you could shoot DCM matches and qualify for an M1 Garand.
You qualified as an NRA instructor so you could claim any new gun you bought was "for my teaching set".
You have a drawer full of holsters that weren't quite right (don't we all?).
You watch old WWII movies and can identify and look at all the rifles and handguns but can't remember who starred in the movie or what it was about.
follow up: If, when you watch a WWII movie, you have to get out th' old Garand and 1911 and help John Wayne shoot the Japs and Krauts. Even when he's in the Navy.
If, while helping John, you've ever actually shot the TV. ("Is this thing loaded?")
While watching the movie "Terminator 2" you have to leave the room in tears and mournful sobs after Arnold Schwartzenneger throws the CAR-16 off the moving tractor trailer and it goes bouncing away.
If the saddest part in all the movies is when they say, "Drop your gun!"
You go to a gun show and contemplate buying a particular gun for a half an hour before you remember you already have that one.
You buy a gun that is a duplicate of one you already have because the original one might break someday.
You have more .50 cal ammo cans than the U.S. government.
You have to run out to the range this weekend to shoot up some ammo because you need some brass to reload.
You keep a framed picture of John Garand on the mantelpiece.
You forget birthdays and anniversaries but remember the production figures for the pre-64 Model 70 Winchester
If 30.06 or 8X57 to you is just as appealing as 36-24-36.
You spend three nights up till 2AM in a row trying to get the finish on that stock just right.
You drive over fifty miles to buy anything gun-related.
You experience the signs of loss and grief whenever you trade a gun away.

March 9, 2007, 03:37 PM
You buy a gun at a shop only to find out you used to own it a couple of years ago.
You tell your wife that you happened to talk to your friend the gun dealer and she says, "Oh Lord, what did you buy this time?"
You own more than two loading presses.
You buy a gun because you haven't bought one in a while.
Your non-handloading friends bring you their empty brass instead of throwing it away.
You collect berdan-primed and aluminum casings just in case you find a way to reload them in the future.
You spend over $5000 building a shop for handloading and working on guns.
You have a library filled with back issues of American Rifleman, Handloader, and Gun Report magazines, and you bought a computer to index them on.
You start feeling uneasy if you have fewer than 500 rounds on hand for your favorite shooter.
There are odd rifle parts on your night stand, right next to the alarm clock and lens case.
The post office calls you when your latest issue of Shotgun News arrives.
When you look at a beautiful sun-set, and all you can think about is how much sight adjustment you'd have to make in the fluky light.
When your idea of the perfect vacation is two bug-filled weeks at Camp Perry.
When the ground cover your kids use on over-night backyard camp outs is your old shooting mat.
The 3-year-old's favorite toys are scrap brass from the reloading bench.
When your littlest son cheers and yells "DEER MEAT" when Bambi's mother gets shot.
When your kids know which fast food joints are closest to which range/gunshop.
When you give travel directions to people, using gunshops/ranges as reference points.
When you load the kids in the van, you holler "Does everyone have earmuffs?", rather than "Put your seatbelts on!"
When you measure the passage of seasons by which rifle you're loading for. (Target rifle in spring, hunting rifle in fall, etc.)
When you always get dirty looks from the UPS man, because every package that he brings to your house is either overly long or very heavy.
Your car has a bumper sticker that reads "My wife - yes, my car - maybe, my gun - NEVER!"
You buy some checkering tools, checker all your gunstocks, and then start in on the bedposts.
You buy a gun you know is cheaply made and won't work well out of the box because all the guns you have work too well and you don't have anything to play with.
Heel, I was lookin at pnuematic staple guns today and was asking myself things like "magazine capacity", and rate of fire, will you be able to "speed load" with this model??
You can't watch tennis matches without thinking of shooting because of the score always being 30-30.
follow up: You think that's bad, what if the score is 30-40 (Krag)
You can't remember the plot of the last movie you saw, but you can name the model, caliber, and finish of every firearm in the movie.
You reflexively count the number of shots fired by every weapon in the film, then gripe to your friends when the guns exceed the capacities.
Your friends refuse to see ANY films containing firearms with you.
You use a .32-20 casing for a pen cap.
You take your guns out of the safe each night and handle them, just so you can wipe them off before putting them away.
You keep a loaded gun hidden in every room in the house, including the bathroom and kitchen, "just in case", and then keep one on you at all times just in case someone breaks in while you're in the hallway.
You named your pocket pistol "Little Guy" and your 12 gauge "Big Jake."
If Peter Alan Kasler owes you a lunch because you caught him out on an obscure fine point of firearms law.
Your answer to the recent thread, "How many guns do you need?" is, "How many do you have room for in your house?" -- especially if your personal weakness happens to be pocket pistols.
You make $50 per hour at work, but spend 30 minutes on your knees at the range looking for that last piece of reloadable brass.
You get a flat and realize that you've got 400 pounds of shot, a Hefty bag each of wads and empty hulls, and enough primers to re-open the main shaft of the Lost Dutchman on top of your spare tire.
When you do the wash, several spent casings fall out of your rolled-up sleeves.
When you go to the magazine rack, you check the Guns and Ammo cover to see if there are new guns as compared to checking the Playboy cover to see what it is offering (of course, this could be indicative of the older male).
You read 300-400 messages on rec.guns every day, in addition to being subscribed to the Glock, SIG, HK, Kahr, Tactics, IPSC, and IDPA mailing lists, and you still wish there was more to do in the Internet firearms community.
You actually consider buying the camo sexy underwear advertised for your sweetie in some gun catalogs.
You carry pictures of all your guns with you at all times in order to show off your "babies".
Your telephone number is: 223-2250 or 308-3006 or 303-3040 or some other combination of three + four digit calibers.
When you hear "Winchester Cathedral", you think of the "church of shooting".
You learn that in the house your buying someone committed suicide using a firearm and all your interested in is the make, model, caliber and condition of the firearm that was used.
Your kids, once in said house, determine that the broken window was a result of that firearms slug after it left the skull cavity of the victim.
Your brothers-in-law only come to visit so they can shoot your guns.
Your gun dealer owes you $500 bucks rather than the other way around.
You think there is some special significance when you glance at a digital clock and it shows 3:08, 3:57, 2:23, etc., no matter how many times you see it.
You use a spot on the windshield as a targeting sight on that ******* driver in front of you.
You should spread out your ammo boxes a bit to more evenly distribute the weight on the floor.
You start eyeing the floor space around your gun vault wondering if you could fit another one there along side it.
If that guy, Gary, at the Sportsman's Guide (catalog) does NOT write you several times a year to say "Hey (your name here), old Pal, I just can't afford to keep sending these catalogs".
You consider the money you lose on your frequent trades as "entertainment money".
You purchase a second ( insert Make/model here ) pistol just because it has night sights.
You suggest your company picnic should be held at the local range instead of the country club.
You have dog named after a firearm or firearm company.
You have a separate safe for your pre-ban magazines.
You decline a date because you plan on reloading next Friday night.
You go to the range just to hang out.
You have a stockpile of rifle cases and gun rugs "because you never can have too many of these".
Your lottery picks are all calibers, like 3-5-7-22-38-44
When 40-22-38 means different calibers to you.
You take your wife on vacation to a gun show for your 10th Anniversary and she is as excited to go as you are.
You could identify on sight all rifle bolt-faces as in - "that's a Ruger, that's a Savage, that's a Winchester."
If the largest gun store in your area calls you if they need something they can't get elsewhere.
If, when buying a new gun, you plead with your gun shop to keep it until you have space for it.
You build a gun rack in your bedroom and it's closer to you than your wife.
You can identify gunshots from faraway as to caliber, whether from a rifle or pistol, brand of gun, grains of powder used, what powder and at what speed.
You consider concealed carry every time you shop for clothes.
You take a dolly or hand truck with you to gun shows.
You buy a gun safe much larger than you think you'll ever need and still fill it up.
You need a second gun safe.
You need yet another safe for all of the ammunition.
You have to structurally reinforce your house due to this hobby
You only watch movies so you can find the gun errors.
You don't need the advice of O.E.M., because you already own them all.
You order a new model S&W revolver BEFORE your S&W stocking dealer has even heard about it, and BEFORE there is even a set wholesale price on the gun. :-)
You dream house has a double basement so that you can have an indoor range, a walk in gun vault, and still be able to build a rec room in the first basement level so that the TV will have a safe backstop.
You buy a Remington 700 BDL Varmint in .308 just to get a supply of 308 cases to make brass for your .44 Auto Mag.
In the middle of the night, you slip and almost fall out the second story bathroom window because of the Guns & Ammo you left in front of the throne.
You remember important family dates based on when you purchased a firearm.
If in the closing scene of "The Shootist", when Ron Howard shoots the "Bad Guy" bar tender, reflects then PITCHES a wonderful Colt Model P, fully engraved yet, across the room. You hear the crash, glass and thud. The thud is you hitting the floor from fainting after extreme nausea that had overwhelmed you!
You give all of your kids, pets and vehicles firearms-related names. Examples: "Savage! Bad Dog! Get out of the flower bed!" "Winchester! Marlin! You boys go tie up the dog again." "Annie Oakley Johnson! What are you doing on my computer?!" "Where are those cats? Smith! Wesson! Din-din time" "Well, time to fire up the ol' Hawken and mow the lawn."
If your wife/girlfriend starts using Hoppes No. 9 instead of perfume to get your attention.
(follow up: Truth is stranger than fiction: I have witnessed friends being asked by (attractive) waitresses what kind of cologne they were wearing, because it smelled good. The cologne in question: Hoppes #9.)
follow up: You know, I've been waiting years for Hoppes to make a cologne, and it makes a nice room freshener. : )
You call your local store to tell them where they can get a hard-to-find item, and then they piggyback their small order onto your larger one.
You bought 10 pallets of ammo cans to sell at gun shows and kept 9 of them to store your ammo.
You have so many guns that you can't name them all.
You know what a chrono is.
You have an inverted water cooler jug mounted on your reloader because you need the extra powder capacity.
When your birthday roles around, your significant other calls your gunsmith to find out what to get you and where to get it.
You've ever turned down sex with your wife (or anyone else's) just to go shooting instead.
You keep losing guns, then find them, only to lose them again, AND you live in a one bedroom apartment.
You're cleaning out your car because you're about to sell it, and find a case of .38 Special you bought a year and a half ago and forgot about.
You not only buy ammo for a gun you don't have, but might get some day, and buy reloading dies for it also.
If all your computer passwords are firearms related.
You gave your daughter a brick of .22s for Christmas.
You have three guns in the same model and caliber.
You have considered moving the TV outside so you have room for another gun safe.
Your mantra is "Buy them all!".
You read "rec.guns" before your morning coffee.
Your favorite euphemism for sex is "concealing the weapon."
You think a shotgun wedding is what happens when a fellow gets overly fond of his 12 gauge.
Your reloading bench is made of better wood than your bedroom set.
You read that "Brady II" would outlaw possession of more than 1,000 rounds of ammunition and think "I have more than that rolling around loose in the trunk of my car!"
You tape American Shooter so you can pause, reverse and fast forward to do a complete analysis of the show.
Your collection of AR back issues, Gun digests, and reloading manuals cost you a premium the last time you moved. (Or maybe that is a sign that you are an OLD gun nut!)
Your gun safe cost more then your dining room set.
You work for the military and have more shooting experience then the guys in uniform you work with.
You visit the range more then twice a week.
Your wife says to buy a gun she would like you to sell one first (not funny but common).
You teenage daughter's next date is introduced to you while your sitting at the loading bench cleaning your M-1.
When you talk about the best piece you ever had, you mean a pistol.
You own a bayonet for a gun you haven't bought yet.
You spend more time choosing which guns to bring with you on a trip, as well as holsters and belts, than it does to pick out the clothes you will wear.
You have a magazine loader on your key ring.
You visit a friend's private range 150 miles away more often then 3/4 the local members.
You approach total strangers and ask if they're going to keep their brass.
If friends and family ask what you want for Christmas "Other than gun stuff."
You've ever run out of film photographing your guns for insurance purposes.
You've ever photographed your entire gun collection, but "insurance purposes" never entered your mind.
You try taking one big 'family photo' of your gun collection, but just can't fit them all in one frame.
You have Brownells on speed dial.
You hand crafted a base pad for your Hogue monogrip out of a hockey puck.
You ever had the thought " I wonder what scale that little kids Animal Crackers are, compared to Regulation silhouettes?"
You buy a .25 Beretta to keep inside your Bible cover, 'cause everybody needs a "hideout church gun".
Every time one of your friends goes to buy a new gun they check with you first, since you've probably had one already, and because they know you have ammo and gun parts sitting around for guns you no longer own
When you refuse to evacuate your burning office building until you retrieve your reloading data notebooks, targets hanging on your cubicle wall, the shooters bible in the file cabinet and the G. Gordon Liddy stacked and packed calendar from the lower desk drawer.
If the Bible you read every night before bed has gun specifications and pricing (i.e. Shooter's Bible).
You buy a used holster at a show for $5.00, and then spend a few hundred on a gun that fits it..
Your teenage daughter's new boyfriend asks, "What are the flags at different places along your driveway for?" and you reply, "Young man, they're range markers."
You have a rack of a dozen guns each on the wall in every room of your house--including your bathroom.
You spend over the cost of a new Glock to travel to the GSSF/Glock matches on the chance that you might win one as well as to shoot at some place new and different.
You take your gun parts to work to do your customizing (your boss has a bigger budget, in my case the federal gov't, just because you have better tools at work), even tho' it may get you in trouble.
You let your wife go out and blow all kinds of money on junk she'll never use just so she won't gripe when you buy that latest piece you really need for your collection.
What's the difference between a gun nut and a firearms enthusiast? 1,000 rounds.
follow up: Aren't you missing a few zeros? Oooh, you mean per caliber.
follow up: I always get a kick out of the newspaper articles that say " several guns were seized, along with 500 rounds of ammo". They must have been cheap or something.
You identify the gun on the cover of Dillon's "Blue Press" before you ever notice the girl.
You're in the army reserves, and they can't figure out why every time they send you out to shoot the M60 with 100 rounds, you return with a shot-out barrel. It never dawns on them you're bringing your own ammo.
You have spent more on guns in the last 6 months than you did on your wife's engagement ring.
You go the shooting range on Monday night during football season.
It is very common in your household to step on BBs, spent and live primers, and the occasional .22 rimfire with bare feet.
If the above happens, and you don't find it weird until someone else points it out!!!
If, upon seeing your 1978 wildcatting project (a .375 on a .50 Sharps 3-1/4" case, 3340 FPS with a 300 Sierra boat tail), Elmer Keith says "You're nuts!"
If, when watching The Matrix, you yelp when Trinity drops that SPAS-12 on the floor.
And you're definitely a gun nut if you read this all the way to the end.

March 9, 2007, 03:38 PM
I qualified for 57 at last count. I have to recount them now because it has been a while since the last time I read this list.

Sorry if there are any repeat answers on this last that have already been posted.

March 9, 2007, 03:55 PM

Wow, man. Those posts are Inaugural Address’s. It would take me two weeks to get something like that ready, not including, typing it out.

Smokey Joe
March 9, 2007, 05:05 PM
Barr--You are the ultimate all-time champ at "You might be a gun nut if..."

I saw myself in a few of yr ideas. :)

March 9, 2007, 05:11 PM
HA HA I love it! :D

March 9, 2007, 05:16 PM
I found myself reading some of those and, in between laughing at the ones I spotted on myself, I noticed some where the thought was, "oh, that sounds like a good idea," and, "why didn't I think of that?"

You might be a gun nut if . . . you read Barr's list and it gives you new ideas.

March 9, 2007, 07:36 PM
If friends and family ask what you want for Christmas "Other than gun stuff."

I used to hear that every year, until I made up a wishlist at MidwayUSA and populate it just before Christmas and Birthdays.

Now I get 'gun stuff'! :)

March 9, 2007, 07:56 PM
70 :what:

March 9, 2007, 08:08 PM
........if you read that list and realize you may have a problem. :uhoh:

Oh and I did get some good ideas from that list.

March 9, 2007, 08:14 PM
nope still just 70 :neener:

March 9, 2007, 08:53 PM
I am somewhat depressed at how many remind me of me. Sadly, it's a lot.

I know I am a gun nut because I have basically removed myself from the dating and gene pool in order to spend more money on guns....

March 9, 2007, 08:54 PM

Somebody penciled in Wyatt Earp's birthday,(Mar.19), on the calendar at work...and everyone KNEW it was you...and they were right. keep a variety of pistol cartridges at work for discussion/comparisson. think its cool when the gas pump stops on rifle caliber designations.'ll stand at the time clock for two minutes so you can have 7:57 on your time card.

...sometimes you don't say anything to your wife 'cause she doesn't want to hear anything about guns/shooting.


March 9, 2007, 08:57 PM
Barr - hopefully there was some serious cutting & pasting going one! :neener: ;) I can relate to most to what you've written :D

March 9, 2007, 10:47 PM
Uhm, 77 or 78 now, lost count once or twice. Chuckling over things like 38, 22,44, just kidding. And yes I did copy and paste this. I pasted this on another gun forum about a year ago. I saw this thread and thought I would share it on another forum.

March 10, 2007, 12:34 AM
When the value of your gun collection exceeds thevalue of the house you live in (and you don't live in adump!)

March 10, 2007, 02:44 AM
---if you've read these lists and don't get any of the jokes.
---you can convert metric measurements to SAE in your head, but only if its 5.56, 7.62, or 12.7mm.
---you know page numbers by heart in the "Standard Catalog of Firearms" for every gun you've ever owned.
---you use 4 bottles of cleaner for your guns every month, but have the same tin of Turtle Wax that you bought in 1987.

the pistolero
March 10, 2007, 05:59 AM
You notice that every time you look at a digital clock it reads 1:17, 2:19, 2:20, 2:22, 2:23, 2:43, 2:57, 3:03, 3:08, 3:57, 4:04, 4:16, 4:44, 4:58, 5:56.
The fact that you happened to look at the clock at of one of these times means it's SHOOTIN' TIME!

Funny you should say that. I looked at my clock when I was reading this one and it said 4:54. But I don't have a gun in that caliber. Could that be a sign? :D

March 10, 2007, 06:01 AM
I getexcited when my trip odometer reads 223 or 308

March 10, 2007, 12:30 PM
Um...I stayed an extra 5 minutes in a gun store after buying a gun trying to explain to the CO-OWNER what a rapid reticle was.

Does that make me a gun nut?:o

March 10, 2007, 01:46 PM
I love these threads.

-You make sure to keep your finger off the trigger until you are ready to shoot... when pumping gas.

-You notice random numbers in the world (gas prices, times, phone numbers, etc) and relate them to calibers (223, 556, 762, 44, 308, etc).

If you are into photography:

-You set the camera to "full auto" shutter release, just in case.
-You replaced the spring in the shutter release button with a lighter one.
-You ditched the stock strap and replaced it with a rifle sling (3-point tactical is best).
-You can do a fast film reload.
-You carry spare film on your hip.

March 10, 2007, 10:07 PM
- If you fly off the handle when someone refers to a magazine as a 'clip'
- If you refer to magazines as 'clips' on purpose for no other reason than to annoy other gun nuts

March 10, 2007, 10:52 PM
I would like to add: " Your friend buys a new gun and you put more rounds through it in one day than he has since he purchased it. The primary reason is that you have all the ammo."

I have fallen under 50+ counts of Gun NUTTERY!

- If you refer to magazines as 'clips' on purpose for no other reason than to annoy other gun nuts

Or you are watching a child play with a kitten and wonder if god is going to real strike down the cute little kitten.

I know I am a gun nut because I have basically removed myself from the dating and gene pool in order to spend more money on guns....

Thats the one that hit home.

I have several:
"Your boss tells you stop talking about guns/hunting/and the next range trip at work because productivity is suffering.

Your wallet card plastic has your California handgun card in such a way that anyone you flash your ID gets a full view of it and you HOPE everytime you flash it someone will start a gun conversation with you.

Your mom tells you that you have to much ammo and then retracts that statement and says " YOu cant really have enough ammo huh?" All while your standing at the ammo counter.

Your inconsolable for 10 minutes during Rambo: First Blood when in the gun store he lights all the ammo and powder and primers on fire.

You bought 3 HK hats because they were different colors and you have seriously thought about doing the same with the USP.

You must completely strip every firearm you touch just to find out how it works.

*MORBID* You know the first 5 gun purchases you will make when your parents kick the bucket and they give you all the money.

Everytime you go to your FFL/Gun smith and you spend 3+ hours talking guns.( and you retain more of the information he teaches you then you have learned in the past 5 college classes.

March 10, 2007, 11:51 PM
Here's what I realized today.

You ARE a gun nut if you want another gun for no reasonable reason. You have more than enough to defend your home, but you still want MORE MORE MORE!

March 10, 2007, 11:53 PM
-You might be a gun nut if you have Special Weapons, Guns&Ammo, and Tactical Guns & Gear for reading material in the Throne-Room :D

-You might be a gun nut if you can recite the specs from all the firearms used in World War II

March 10, 2007, 11:57 PM
Arctic - I qualify. The throne has "Guns and Ammo" - "S.W.A.T." - "Guns and weapons for law enforcment" - "Handguns Magazine" - "Combat Handguns Magazine" and some others next to it.

Also there is a copy of BusinessWeek.


March 11, 2007, 12:00 AM
You might be a gun nut if : You get giddy when a new soldier of fortune comes out.

March 11, 2007, 12:21 AM

-You might be a gun nut if you have Special Weapons, Guns&Ammo, and Tactical Guns & Gear for reading material in the Throne-Room

Heck, that isn't so great. In my bathroom I have Jeff Coopers "Art of the Rifle" and "Fireworks" plus Massad Ayoobs "Combat Handgunnery"...

March 11, 2007, 03:36 PM
You mean I don't have to buy a .308 rifle to get brass for my .44 Automag?
What about my .357 AMP?

March 11, 2007, 03:54 PM
Barr - You've got way too much time on your hands. You need to go to the range a little more often. ;)

But having said that - guilty as charged. It would seem the topic of firearms comes up far too often for a lot of my friends that aren't as involved as I am. Makes the circle a little smaller each time.

No wonder I read posts on forums as much as I do :eek:


March 11, 2007, 04:05 PM
are you telling me all those things listed are NOT normal behavior?:scrutiny:

i didn't need to read this. :D

March 11, 2007, 04:08 PM
Believe Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives should be a convenience store.

March 12, 2007, 03:34 AM
Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives should be a convenience store.

Hear, hear!

March 12, 2007, 04:26 AM
You might be a gun nut if you are a video game player and buy new games to see how many stupid flaws are in the game's guns, then proceed to write the company that made the game demanding a patch to fix the game so its more "real".

You might be a gun nut if you wait for another member of the family to die so you get to split their guns or take them all!

You might be a gun nut if you took time to read everyones long, long lists and wanted to simotaniously laugh and cry when you realise you can relate to every line, even with knives. (have to have that katana in the bathroom)

March 12, 2007, 07:59 PM
You can recognize the the whine of the UPS truck bringing your latest "Midway" order a full minute before you actually "see" it..

A punk threatens to throw a brick through your windshield, and subcontiously you smile falling into a dream-like state picturering the projectile tumbling in slow-motion as you read " Eley Tenex Utimate" on the label...

The Nurse at the hospital congratulates you on the birth of your 7lb. 6oz. son
and you instinctively convert his weight into "grains"....

The Birthdays of Samuel Colt, John Moses Browning, Jack O'Connor and Elmer
Keith, are "highlighted" on your calender...


March 12, 2007, 08:20 PM
I qualify for a great many, but rather than classifying myself as a "gun nut," I prefer to describe myself as among the "ballistically enlightened."

March 12, 2007, 10:24 PM
You give all of your kids, pets and vehicles firearms-related names. Examples: "Savage! Bad Dog! Get out of the flower bed!" "Winchester! Marlin! You boys go tie up the dog again." "Annie Oakley Johnson! What are you doing on my computer?!" "Where are those cats? Smith! Wesson! Din-din time" "Well, time to fire up the ol' Hawken and mow the lawn."

About 7 years ago, the wife wanted to adopt two abandoned puppies our son found on the way to school. A similar list was circulating back then, so when she asked me what we should name them I answered humorously. I had no way of knowing she'd think it was cute.
So we have two dogs named Mauser and Mosin.

March 12, 2007, 11:00 PM
This has been funny and enlightening. I'm always looking for tips. The empty guncase leaving and the full guncase coming home is Brilliant!

March 12, 2007, 11:29 PM
.... you want a Ruger PC9 because it uses the same mags as your Ruger P89 (guilty)

I think I did pretty poorly on Barr's test... only 14, but got some ideas that took me 20. Sorry folks, I'll work on that!!!!!

March 13, 2007, 01:00 AM
you might be a gun nut if you have more shootin' buddies than the local militia has members :D

March 13, 2007, 03:37 PM
... your email address contains the characters 762, 556, 223, 9mm, or 45ACP

Hey, I resemble that remark:neener:

March 13, 2007, 03:46 PM
For me? I realized I was a gun nut when I bought a gun safe. For the price, I could have bought another firearm, but the safe seemed like a better idea.

March 14, 2007, 01:11 AM
If you ever accidentally seasoned a steak with FFFFg black powder...
-If your brass tumbler used to be a small cement mixers.
-If you identify the gun on the cover of Dillon's Blue Press before you notice the girl...
-If you make $30/hr at work and spent 35 min- on your knees at the range looking for that last piece of .40 brass...
-If you have guns in your safes that you can't for the life of you remember how you came by...
-If the FBI asks you to identify firearms they can't...
-If ammo manufacturers had to layoff workers when you went to Europe for a month's vacation...
-If you know the range of every tree in the neighborhood...
-if you can tell the caliber of any spent casing just by feel...
-If you plead with the gun shop to hold a rifle/shotgun until you have space for it...
-If you can't figure out why your non-shooting friends laugh when you say "Bushmaster"...
-If you didn't get that last one because you don't have any "non-shooting" friends...
-If you driver's license says "must wear night vision goggles."
-If your shoulder is callused...

March 14, 2007, 12:25 PM
If when you were a kid, way back in the early '60 (That's 1960's for you smartypants.) you wouldn't play with "Monkey Division" toy guns because you knew "They never made no real guns like those." :p

March 14, 2007, 04:11 PM
The Nurse at the hospital congratulates you on the birth of your 7lb. 6oz. son
and you instinctively convert his weight into "grains"....

That one is in my top ten favorites... hahahaha

March 14, 2007, 06:08 PM
. . . you reschedule or cancel an important medical or dental procedure because there's a gun show coming up.

. . . you delay or cancel a medical/dental procedure because you need the money for "something urgent."

July 16, 2007, 10:15 PM
Time to resurrect an old thread that still makes me laugh when I read it.

Two new ones:

Exhibit A
When you are in the gunstore and the owner pulls out a scope to show to a gentleman customer and the customer asks him what the scope is. The owner starts muttering to himself about what he thinks it is and is reaching for his order catalog to check it out; Without thinking, you open your magnificent piehole and inform him that it is a Tasco 6-24x42mm Varmint Series with a Mil-Dot reticle. You have one and it has your personal recommendation because it works great on your .270.

LOL maybe it was not that bad. Still funny though.

Exhibit B
You are moving to your first apartment because you are getting married and realize just how much reloading tools, accessories, and components that you really have.

1) A five gallon bucket full of various brass.
2) Four reloading presses.
3) 16 lbs of gun powder.
4) 6,000 plus primers.
5) 5,000 bullets or so.
6) Currently reload 10 calibers and gauges.

Now some of you out there say, "That is not that much, I have a whole basement Armory." Just remember, this "unnamed individual" is still in college and still does not have that degree yet with a regular full-time job. Being 22, broke, and in college stinks. :D

"Honey, we might need that 14 ft Uhaul, the 10 ft one will not cut it."

It's fun to be a gun-nut!

July 17, 2007, 04:01 AM
Bushmaster... :D I never realized why my Dad was laughing when I told him I made some alterations to it.

July 17, 2007, 04:55 AM
I didn't think I was a gun nut, but after tonight I'm beginning to wonder. I woke up at about 3 A.M. and thought "The Blackhawk I was fondling before I went to bed felt and sounded like it was dry as a bone." It bugged me enough that I got up, oiled the gun and went back to bed.

July 17, 2007, 05:13 AM
Don't know if it was mentioned, but:

If you look at a stash of 20 unused bottles of Break-Free CLP and realize it's time to pick up some more as you're getting low.

If you inventory your ammo, realize you have 10,000 rounds and then wonder, "Would this really be enough if the SHTF?" and then decide you better buy more to be on the safe side.

If you shop at the mall for clothing and then think, "This would go really well with my 1911." while looking at a shirt.

If the local gun store knows you by your full name and has your phone number memorized.

If you have a separate work-bench and tools for just your guns.

July 17, 2007, 08:19 AM
You might be a gun nut if you start planning a 31-30 wildcat to fill the performance gap between your 30-30 and your 32 Special.

July 22, 2007, 11:02 AM
you make an improvised holster while your leather one is at the dry cleaners.

July 22, 2007, 03:18 PM
You just may be a gun nut if....
-your pets are two dogs named ruger and t.c.- and you got a cat named mossy.
- your b/f burns gun powder in bedroom knowing it will excite you.
- said b/f wears hoppes #9 ...that stuff is an aphrodisiac!
- guys take you to gun shows knowin it will get you in the mood!

Remember there are female nuts too

July 22, 2007, 03:58 PM
you understand Smith and Wesson model numbers.

July 22, 2007, 04:58 PM
You spend more time at work on THR then you do working.

You recently went to the gun store to look at shotguns, could not decide between the Rem 870 or the Benelli Nova while at the store and on the way out you tell your friend you have decided to buy both just in case.

July 31, 2007, 04:10 PM
How about " you buy several of the same gun in different calibers so your wife won't notice how many guns you have ?

August 1, 2007, 04:07 PM
When any kind of gun question comes up at work, your co-workers instantly turn to you for guidance.

August 1, 2007, 08:56 PM
When you and your wife are out on a Sunday and she says lets get some coffee
and your stop buy your favorite gun shop. ( yea I got away with that) .

August 1, 2007, 09:17 PM
"You make $50 per hour at work, but spend 30 minutes on your knees at the range looking for that last piece of reloadable brass. "

This cracks me up ....cause I'm Guilty of doin just that! :D

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