In a Shed Full of Tools...


March 23, 2007, 03:37 PM
I've been musing upon this since last night...

Spent a long day trying to figure out some stuff around linux, etc., and decided to go out and grab a bite. Took a book along, since the pub up the street generally has some sort of professional sports on the TV - and lately they've been favoring wrasslin'... but there's always the danger of basketball right about now (grew up in Kentucky, been there, done that, got a few t-shirts, and can't stand it...).


So, there I am, with a cold frosty one in front of me, and a tasty sandwich on the way, just really getting into the plot, and the biggest fellow from a group at the end of the bar moseys over to me, and starts asking me "what do you believe?"

Okay... Then he tells me that he and his buddies saw me reading my Koran (actually it was Robert Crais' latest mystery...). Okay... Asks me what I believe again... Okay... When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

So I told him that I believe in cold beer, warm labradors, and the gospel according to Elmer Keith. I had to explain who Elmer was.

That puzzled him for a moment, but didn't seem to deter him. He pointed out that I was wearing a terrorist t-shirt. "It has A-rab writing on it!"

It's one of the ones that say "Infidel" on 'em (a lot like your basic "raid shirt" or "raid jacket"), and I got it at Knob Creek.


Asked me what I believed again. So I told him that happiness is a belt-fed weapon. A mix of puzzlement and alarm resulted. Basically told me that I sounded just like a normal redneck, with overtones that they'd be watching me...

The waitress, who knows me well enough to start working on a beverage as I walk past the front window, seemed to get a kick out of things...

I finally just explained to him that I bought it at a gun show, etc., etc... He seemed to understand the words "gun show," and started to lighten up, and may have eventually decided that I actually wasn't a beer-drinking bacon-munching terrorist aiming at breaking up their basketball party...


At least it wasn't the one I have with Osama with an arrow through his head... Maybe the next time I wear one of these shirts, I should just go check in with the police first...

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March 23, 2007, 03:53 PM
I feel your pain. There seems to be a lot of tools around where I live too.

March 23, 2007, 04:07 PM
"In a shed full of tools, it never helps to be hammered."


I'm with you bogie, I wouldn't be able to keep myself from messing with guys like that.

AJ Dual
March 23, 2007, 04:17 PM
Reminds me of those video clips at a pro-Bush pro-AWOT rally, where the "Protest Warrior" guys had to leave in a hurry because of their banners and shirts.

The crowd couldn't figure out that they were a pro-AWOT/American group but used satire and normaly harrased liberal anti-war protesters.


March 23, 2007, 04:29 PM
Bogie, you're just too hip and ironic for your own darn good.

March 23, 2007, 05:17 PM
happiness is a belt-fed weapon

Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Hope you find happiness.

March 23, 2007, 05:46 PM
Ah, glad to see government and media sponsored hate in America. It is like we took a giant leap back to the 50s or something?

March 23, 2007, 06:40 PM
"What do you believe?"

“I believe that you are a drunken redneck Neanderthal who cannot tell the difference between a Koran and a novel. Tell you what. Why don’t I buy you a nice twelve-pack of Old Milwaukee and you go back to your double-wide and watch NASCAR?”

March 23, 2007, 10:08 PM
Old Milwaukee? That's just insulting.

And Bogie, the problem was not so much what you were reading, it's that you were reading something that wasn't glossy and full of pictures. On top of that, infidels are the most politically correct religious groups to dislike.

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