Join Me In Supporting Anti-bagel Legislation!!!


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Guzzizzit
April 19, 2007, 12:23 PM
Just yesterday as i was prepareing my lunch and packing it in my lunch box for work, I pulled a stupid manuever while cutting the bagel i was going to make a sandwhich out of. Long story short, I now have 14 stiches and some kind of super glue holding part of my hand together. Obviously this CANT have been my fault, so the only logical conclusion is that BAGELS ARE EVIL!!!!!

I've started writting letters and e-mails to all of my representatives warning them on the dangers of Bagels, and, while i'm at it English muffins, Cinnomon rasin toast and any other typicaly toasted breakfast food. (I dont know of anyone being injured by an english muffin, but we never can be to careful) I'm proposeing a law that would require 3 day waiting periods and backround checks before purchaseing a bagel as well as limiting bagel packageing to 3 bagels or less, Keeping bagel diameters to 2 3/4 inches or less as well as an all out ban on the use of Rasins in bagels.

WE MUST DO THIS TO KEEP OUR CHILDREN SAFE!!!!!

Please, join me in the fight to eliminate bagel injuries forever.

Guzz


P.S. Makes about as much sense as Most gun control laws. If you havent figured it out by now, this is satire (tho i really did cut myself while cutting a bagel yesterday *stupid stupid stupid*)

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Jorg Nysgerrig
April 19, 2007, 12:29 PM
Nevermind, decided cross multiple lanes of traffic to merge on to the High Road.

R33P3R
April 19, 2007, 12:31 PM
dont forget the evils of toaster studel.

Rustynuts
April 19, 2007, 12:39 PM
And of hot coffee held in the crotch while driving!

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