[Bruz]

Does any one know anything about a bear in the bar in Billings? Been driving me crazy...Art?

[4v50 Gary]

Don't you mean beer in the bars? ;)

[MonkeyMan]

This what you looking for?

A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer.

The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings."

The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer.

The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings."

The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar."

The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings."

The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer.

The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs."

The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs."


.........You're gonna love this..........


The bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate."

:what: :neener:

[Greybeard]

;)

[Art Eatman]

I've noticed about an 80/20 split between those who break up laughing at that joke, and those who subscribe to "A pun is the lowest form of humor." Well, color me low. :D

Art

[Smoke]

Art,

I've noticed about an 80/20 split between those who break up laughing at that joke, and those who subscribe to "A pun is the lowest form of humor.

I must be on the low side of 80 and the high side of the 20.

I think puns are a low form of humor....but they're still funny! :D :neener:

[MonkeyMan]

Oh well, at least nobody's said it's only 2/3's of a pun;

P-U!

:neener:

[Keith]

There is an old-timey saloon in downtown Juneau, AK, called the Red Dog. They have an odd looking bear mount in there - odd, because it's a very small black bear with his head sticking in a old galvanized trash can. It seemed weird that somebody would spend the money to mount such a puny specimen, even as a joke.
I asked the bartender about it and he told me the owner decided to mount it because it had been shot IN the bar!
It seems that one hot summer day the bear (a urban dumpster-diver, common in Juneau) had wandered into the bar. The customers immediately retreated up the stairs into the loft that overlooks the bar floor, while the bear began helping himself to beer, burgers and fries left on the tables. All was going well until some fools up in the loft began throwing beer bottles down at the bear. The bear got angry and headed for the stairs and the bartender offed it with his .45. Hence the mount.

The Red Dog also has "Wyatt Earp's Pistol" hanging in a glass case on the wall - the very same one he used at the OK Corral! Well, sort of... It seems that when Earp came up to the Gold Rush, he brought a whole trunk full of cheap revolvers and used them to pay his way through the gold camps. Every time he met someone with a bit of cash, he'd reluctantly part with one of these historical treasures (all of them used at the OK Corral). The man had to have been so loaded down with cheap revolvers at the OK Corral, he must have had a couple of porters to carry them all.

Keith

[4v50 Gary]

This thread has gone nowhere but downhill. :D

[Skunkabilly]

What caliber for taking down a bullying belligerent bear on drugs?

[Bruz]

I've noticed about an 80/20 split between those who break up laughing at that joke

I thought it was very funny! Thanks!

[Art Eatman]

Then there wuz that bear down in southern China, with strange footprints. Just like a boy's. The local folks hired a guy named Chan to capture it. He built a large cage out of teakwood. Baited the cage. The bear entered and was caught.

And thus they caught the boy-foot bear with teak of Chan.

:), Art

[Skunkabilly]

:confused:

But we've all heard about the panda at the restaurant, right?

[Bruz]

And thus they caught the boy-foot bear with teak of Chan.

Sorry Art, I'm a little dense sometimes, got the first part but still working on the second! :D



But we've all heard about the panda at the restaurant, right?

Might regret this but, no, what about the panda at the restaurant?

[Art Eatman]

Bruz, IIRC it was James Whitcomb Riley who wrote the poem about the Barefoot Boy With Cheek Of Tan...

:), Art

[Skunkabilly]

Barefoot Boy With Cheek Of Tan

:confused: I think teak of Chan makes more sense to me.... :o:confused: :confused:

[Bruz]

Bruz, IIRC it was James Whitcomb Riley who wrote the poem about the Barefoot Boy With Cheek Of Tan...

Ahh, thanks! I'm was not dense, just ignorant! Cute...

[Skunkabilly]

OK so what is this poem?

[Art Eatman]

Uh, Skunk, if you ever get on the Internet, they have this Website thingy called "Google". You type in something about which you're curious (e.g., "James Whitcomb Riley") and all manner of neat stuff happens.

Some call this "homework".

:D, Art

[sm]

http://www.jameswhitcombriley.com/

(Well I'll be, Teoma heard of him too)

I like extra credit points...:)

[pax]

So this panda walks into a restaurant. Orders dinner and a beer. Waitress asks, "Can I bring you anything else?" as she hands him the check. Panda pulls out a wheelgun and shoots the chandelier, ignores the check, and strolls out the door.

Manager runs after him (stupid manager). "Sir! SIR! You didn't pay your bill! And you shot the place up! What's the deal with that??"

The panda turns around and rolls his eyes. "Hey man, I'm a panda. Look it up." And away he goes.

The manager shrugs and, when he gets home, looks up "panda" in the dictionary. The dictionary says, "Panda -- a large mammal. Eats shoots and leaves."

pax

When I make a joke, nobody gets injured... when Congress makes a joke, it's the law. -- Will Rogers

[Steve Smith]

I can hardly bear this.