[Preacherman]

From the Telegraph, London (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2003/07/09/nbird09.xml&sSheet=/news/2003/07/09/ixhome.html):

Amorous bird too loud for 'townie'
By Sean O'Neill
(Filed: 09/07/2003)

Liz Twose was delighted when a woodpecker nested in her garden and began drumming out his mating call.

She began writing a diary of the bird's activities in the parish magazine in Westonzoyland, Somerset.

But a neighbour, who remains anonymous but is suspected to be a former urban dweller, complained to the local council about the noise.

Mrs Twose, 57, a member of the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds, was ordered by Sedgemoor district council to either "remove" the noisy "equipment" or face a possible £5,000 fine.

She said: "For ages we didn't know what it could be that was annoying our neighbour. We called the council and they assured us it wasn't a joke.

"Then a friend pointed out that the woodpecker was the noisiest thing in our garden. It was ludicrous to think that someone living here didn't know the sound of a woodpecker."

Frank Ball, the council's noise pollution chief, said any thoughts of enforcement action were abandoned after Mrs Twose explained that the racket was being made by a greater spotted woodpecker.

"I've had some strange complaints," said Mr Ball. "Someone was annoyed by a creaky shop door and another person wrote in about cows mooing too loudly - but never a woodpecker."

The bird remains in Mrs Twose's garden but, following the end of the mating season, has stopped drumming.

[campergeek]

This reminds me of a story a couple years ago about a family hog farm south of St. Louis that was forced to close. It seems the farm had been in continuous operation for over a century, being passed from generation to generation. Then some city dwellers decided that they'd like to move out to the country and a subdivision popped up in the vicinity of the farm.

The problem? When the wind came from the right direction, the smell of the existing hog farm was carried into the new subdivision (duh). :rolleyes:

The solution? City dwellers moving in filed a complaint and the family farm was forced to close. :banghead:

[critter]

campergeek,
You remember the saying 'it is not about guns, it is about CONTROL'? And do you remember the nutcase camped in the top of the tree in Calif so it could not be cut down?

All these folks are simply trying to exercise CONTROL over things they DO NOT OWN! Don't want that tree cut?-BUY IT AT THE REQUESTED PRICE! Don't want the hog farm over there?-BUY IT AT THE REQUESTED PRICE! Don't want me to keep/carry my guns?-BUY 'EM AT MY REQUESTED PRICE!

Also remember, liberals don't do logic!!

[Art Eatman]

Townies will crowd up in a new subdivision next to an airport, and then complain against the noise. Or, a racetrack's noise. (Think "Waterford Hills" in Michigan, north of Detroit.)

Heck, I've heard some complain that they couldn't sleep because it was "too quiet", and others complain that the roosters crowed too early.

My son lives in southern Germany, in the foothills of the Bavarian Alps. He reports that Tourons complain about the bells on the cows' necks. ("Touron": The cross between a Tourist and a Moron.)

Townies want their bacon and eggs, but they don't want hog farms or chicken "factories". They want their steaks and hamburgers, but no feedlots, please.

Try to make them believe a coyote will begin feeding on the innards of a prey animals, before it's dead. Or that their darling puppy dogs really will kill a rancher's sheep for sport. Or that a hawksbill shrike will begin to feed on a wounded quail.

I could go to ranting, if I ain't careful...

:), Art

[redneck]

Been there before.

New neighbors moved in on the east side. Things seemed to be goin fine, then all the sudden the guy brings his deed over and shows it to my dad.
"I have my deed here" "see this, and this and this....you can't have that horse trailer parked outside like that and yadda yadda yadda blah blah blah...insert more mindless drivel ....here"

"Yep, thats nice. You know, that is YOUR deed, I have more land than you and MY deed says I can do whatever the hell I want with that horsetrailer"

Then he came over again later.
"I want you to come over and sit on my back porch tonight"

"OK"

on the porch- "Can you beleive how bad these flies and mosquitos are? Its all because of your horses, I want something done about it!"

"Sure, come on over to the barn"
-ha, bugs aren't bad at all in the barn.
"See that little plot of trees right next to your house? See how its surrounded by farmfields? Why do you suppose they don't clear out those trees and farm that spot like the rest of it? - Its a friggin swamp, there's your bug problem."


My mom has family that owns a blackpowder gun store. They have an outdoor range set up and its been running for years(couple generations of the family I think) people built houses next to the range and then complained about the noise. HELLO! MORON! you built your house next to a shooting range! Luckily they are still in business.

[Art Eatman]

I like my neighbors because when I set off some dynamite to pop a rock, the only complaint is if I don't call ahead of time so they can watch.

One local gal commented that my shooting is reassuring to her. She knows who to call if there's trouble, since I could get to her place before the deputy can.

:), Art

[cooch]

Some bright people around, aren't there?

They buy land that is cheap because it's next to an airport, shooting range, farm, factory or on a floodplain.... Then they complain like hell about the very things that made the land cheap..

As tho they had no responsibility to ensure that the location they bwere buying into met their standards.

I know of one house being auctioned right next to a cotton farm. The Cotton-grower just chose that day to have a crop-duster working close to the boundary. He then produced a loudhailer and told the assembled crowd over the fence that this was going to happen every few weeks for IIRC about 8 months of the year. If they bought the house, they had been warned!

Bloody yuppies.:banghead: :cuss: :banghead: :cuss: :banghead: :cuss: :banghead:

[gun-fucious]

in washingtoon DC, we had an urban mocking bird that immitated car alarms!

arrk, arrk, arrk! ooooop, ooooop, ooooop! eee ahhh, eeee ahhh, eeee ahhh!
arrk, arrk, arrk! ooooop, ooooop, ooooop! eee ahhh, eeee ahhh, eeee ahhh!
arrk, arrk, arrk! ooooop, ooooop, ooooop! eee ahhh, eeee ahhh, eeee ahhh!
arrk, arrk, arrk! ooooop, ooooop, ooooop! eee ahhh, eeee ahhh, eeee ahhh!
arrk, arrk, arrk! ooooop, ooooop, ooooop! eee ahhh, eeee ahhh, eeee ahhh!

a normal car alarm cancels after 2 minutes

a bird outside yer bedroom window at 1 am, will warble until you body block his 60 foot tree

:D

[Preacherman]

Gun-fucious, that's always fun, isn't it? :D

We had one down here in Pineville that did the same thing - imitated the sirens of police cars and fire trucks, even down to the low, vibrating rattle that some of the latter make. Problem was solved within the week by several neighbors waiting up with shotguns. The local PD was called to what sounded like a Chicago Prohibition-era gang war, but it turned out to be only what used to be a nice tree, now shredded into chips and sawdust by about 30 rounds of birdshot. The mocking-bird was not heard from again... :D

[gun-fucious]

Unfortunately my bird was in gun free Washingtoon DC
Hense the 1 am linebacker charge which moved him to someone else tree

to bad they were sad, but i got my sleep


:evil: