Just did the dumbest thing I've ever done with a gun


September 26, 2007, 05:28 PM
So last night, I finish teaching a CCW class, and get home around 9:30 at night. My wife, who must really love me, surprised me with Halo 3. Now I love video games. I enjoyed Halo 1 & 2 immensely, and since I’m a sucker for hype, I was really excited for the final chapter. This was a great surprise.

One problem, the batteries were dead in my X-Box controller, and I couldn’t seem to find any double As anywhere in the house. (D, N, 123, A, but none of those darn AA) So I decided to run down to the local store. Now keep in mind, if I’m outside of my house, I’m always armed. Since I had already gotten comfy, and had put on a t-shirt and a pair of sweats, my usual methods of carrying wouldn’t work.

Normally I carry on the belt, or on a bellyband that fits under loose clothing. I was too lazy to change, and figured it would only take a minute. Now some people would go out unarmed, but I’m a man of principle. Snort… Nah, seriously, I’m just one of the most unlucky people I’ve ever met, and that means that the very first time I go out unarmed, I’m going to blunder into the finale of Heat.

So I borrowed one of my wife’s concealed carry rigs. She sometimes uses a fanny pack with a Makarov in it. The fanny pack is a fashion no-no, but Master Chief is waiting for me to save the earth from the evil forces of the Covenant, so there was no time for pants. I lengthened out the straps, (a lot), strapped on the pack, and ran out the door.

I made it to the store, walked inside, in a hurry, thoughts of Halo dancing in my little brain, asked a sales person to point me toward the batteries, and then…


I look down, and see a Bulgarian Makarov sitting there on the white linoleum floor of my local grocery store.

See, this is my wife’s rig. I don’t normally use a fanny pack since on a big, normally fully-dressed man that looks kind of like a young Tony Soprano, it just screams I HAVE A GUN, SHOOT ME FIRST. In seven years of carrying a gun every day, I had never dropped one.

See, my wife unzips the fanny pack when she gets done using it. She leaves it open inside the safe, and she is in the habit of doing a chamber check, and zipping it shut when she leaves the house. I didn’t even think that the pack might be unzipped. And while in a hurry, it looked closed, since she zips it across the top, and shoves her hand in through the side. The side was open, and that evil little gun just waited until it had witnesses before jumping out, while screaming “Hey World! Look at me!” with a Bulgarian accent.

So back to our adventure. I scoop up the gun, and shove it back into the pack. The clerk looks at me, having seen the gun, and says “What was that?”

Being really clever, I answer, “I dropped my gun.”

His response? “Oh, that kind of thing happens. I’ve got a .380 on right now… Batteries are over here.”

God bless Utah.

I felt like such an idiot. What a horrible, ignorant, newbie mistake. The fact that I had just gotten done teaching 25 strangers how to legally carry a gun was painfully ironic.

Moral of the story? Never assume. Know your gear, especially when you borrow your wife’s stuff. No matter how cool Halo 3 is in HD with surround sound, you still need to pay attention to real life. And most importantly, be friendly to your local grocery store staff.

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September 26, 2007, 05:31 PM
Man, knowing the business you run, I got really scared for a minute. All kinds of exciting "dumb things" could happen with some of the toys you have. :) I'm glad it wasn't anything fatal, and instead just embarassing.

September 26, 2007, 05:34 PM
well its a learning experience and you can teach 25 more people with this experience

September 26, 2007, 05:35 PM
some of the toys you have.

The next machine gun shoot is on October 27th. I'm not allowed to touch the Tannerite. :)

September 26, 2007, 05:36 PM
That's what you get for POing the fashion god :p

September 26, 2007, 05:36 PM
Correia - Well, yeah, it might be dumb...but in a no harm no foul & we all mighta learned something kinda way it is pretty humorous. :D

Thanks for sharing.


September 26, 2007, 05:38 PM
Thanks for the laughs!

Black Adder LXX
September 26, 2007, 05:39 PM
His response? “Oh, that kind of thing happens. I’ve got a .380 on right now…

Whoa! God bless UTAH!

Good luck against the FLOOD!

September 26, 2007, 05:42 PM
so there was no time for pants

Man, if I had a dollar for every time I said that...

Seriously, glad it was just embarrassing. That's a pretty good object lesson in making sure of your gear in high-stress situations, though.

Old Fuff
September 26, 2007, 05:43 PM

Hereafter send your wife out to get the batteries - she knows where the pack's zipper is for gosh sakes... :evil: :D

September 26, 2007, 05:43 PM
Indeed, this was God's way of saying "No" to fanny packs. Glad everyone is ok!

(I had my G26 flop out of a cheap IWB holster onto the bathroom floor at work. Luckily it's a solo bathroom and that it didn't happen in a staff meeting! But yes, a VMII is on the way.)

September 26, 2007, 05:46 PM
Being really clever, I answer, “I dropped my gun.”

After the image of that ran through my head, I laughed my a** off. Funny stuff.


September 26, 2007, 05:49 PM
I've known a couple of guys over the years who wore their wives accessories, but this takes the practice to a whole new level. ;)

September 26, 2007, 06:00 PM
Thats not the dumbest thing you could do with a gun...I'm sure you can beat it if u try,lol. I have had the same thing happen, except I was walking into work, and a 45 fell to the ground.

Fanny pack is the ONLY way I carry. I always wear pull on shirts, so no belt or anything.. Fannypack works good.

George Hill
September 26, 2007, 06:30 PM
Just be glad it wasn't a CZ-52... I've seen one go bang when it dropped on to gravel.

When Master Chief calls - you gotta go.

September 26, 2007, 06:52 PM
First thing I thought was "he did something with Tannerite...." :neener:

I wanna come play with Tannerite, but I think Archerandshooter's about out of patience with me and road trips for the year. :rolleyes:


Ragnar Danneskjold
September 26, 2007, 07:07 PM
For your controller, get the rechargeable battery pack instead of using AA batteries. I have 2 battery packs, and a charger than can do both at the same time. It's right next to my 360, so when the green circle flashes, I just swap the battery packs. It'll cost about 30$, but it's better than having to keep buying AA batteries.

September 26, 2007, 07:42 PM
I carry (but don't wear) a fanny pack regularly.

It contains all kinds of geek stuff (compass, leatherman, picnic knife, flash drive, GPS RX puck, USB extender, blah, blah, blah, blah) but NOT a gun.


I have done the "get up to leave from work" thing, with the zipper open.

Left a trail of high-tech gadgets in my wake.

One of the hardware designers caught up with me: "Dude! You're leavin' a trail of gadgets!"


I guess I'll have to watch it once the, uh, hardware gets added to my load out.

Sorry, Larry, I chuckled and hooted and snorted through yer post.

That's just too funny.


September 26, 2007, 08:00 PM
Larry. Burn some frequently flyer miles or something, and come to Knob Creek. We'll have a tent and a sleeping bag for you.

And some duct tape.

September 26, 2007, 08:01 PM
Four words and three digits: XBOX 360 controller with wire.


Glad you made a friend with the cashier.

September 26, 2007, 08:01 PM
Another successful Makarov drop test :p

Thanks for the funny story, Correia :D

September 26, 2007, 08:30 PM
That's what you get for POing the fashion god

Tallpine wins. :D

I call my fanny pack "my PURSE." It's not a purse, (and I rarely carry the gun in it in any case) but my thinking is that if I call it a purse there's no chance at all that my darling husband will ever be tempted to borrow it.

Even if it is a no-pants Halo 3 emergency.


September 26, 2007, 08:34 PM
Even if it is a no-pants Halo 3 emergency.
Oh, boy.

Somehow I think this is not the last we've seen of that phrase.

September 26, 2007, 08:36 PM
Glad everything worked out OK... but you wouldn't have been the first guy to get in trouble because he didn't watch his zipper.

September 26, 2007, 08:37 PM
Master Chief never drops his gun! You should be ashamed!
Good luck with Halo 3, tell us how it plays.

September 26, 2007, 08:40 PM
You guys are hillarious.

Originally Posted by Correia
so there was no time for pants

Man, if I had a dollar for every time I said that...

I'm so glad a read this before going home.

Correia - are you an author? You should be...

September 26, 2007, 08:40 PM
Tallpine wins.

I call my fanny pack "my PURSE." It's not a purse, (and I rarely carry the gun in it in any case) but my thinking is that if I call it a purse there's no chance at all that my darling husband will ever be tempted to borrow it.

Even if it is a no-pants Halo 3 emergency.


yay a new sig!

Bazooka Joe71
September 26, 2007, 08:49 PM
LOL, really have no idea what I think is funnier:

The fact that your gun fell out of your fanny pack, or the fact that you were wearing a fanny pack.

September 26, 2007, 09:19 PM
Being really clever, I answer, “I dropped my gun.”
I hate to admit it, but I have a situation where I wasn't thinking fast enough for a suave PC response...

I was out riding my motorcycle with some new people, stopped at a parking lot (most of whom I did not know). There was a girl who needed a ride on someone's bike. I wouldn't have offered, but I overheard her say that she needs to get back home later, right near my house. She hopped on the back, with her right leg pressing on my IWB holster (under my jacket). We got to the first red light and, just as it turned green, she said in a pained voice "what is this thing on your waist?!?!". Since the light was green, I had no time to be gentle and explain things carefully. I turned quickly and said "Don't touch - it's a gun" and we took off down the road. About a mile later, at the next light, I turned around... I told her "Don't worry, I am licensed and legal". She seemed pretty cool about it, but I think she later told me that she was a little scared for the ride. We are pretty good friends now :)

Mr White
September 26, 2007, 09:31 PM
If you wouldn't have been such a cheapskate and paid the extra $50 for the anti-gravity Makarov, none of this would have happened.

September 26, 2007, 10:46 PM
Being really clever, I answer, “I dropped my gun.”

I'm impressed.
I am probably the only one impressed the boy was carrying a blue-n-wood gun too.


September 26, 2007, 11:18 PM
In communist Bulgaria, Makarov drops you. :scrutiny:

If you wouldn't have been such a cheapskate and paid the extra $50 for the anti-gravity Makarov, none of this would have happened.


Shirley Youjest, AP

BOSTON - Police are reporting a disturbing new trend among the city's gang population: Cheap, easily concealed pistols that are effortless to carry all day. "It doesn't matter how heavy these guns used to be," said Police Commissioner Ed Davis, "now they can be toted around without these guys breaking a sweat." Reports indicate that the first type of anti-gravity guns available are Russian Macaronis, with 3.8 caliber bullets. "These guns can be hidden anywhere," said Mayor Thomas Menino, "outside of a window, just below the grate of a sewer, even under a 'fro." Late last night the Massachusetts legislature convened to pass a quick addendum to Mass General Law Chapter 269 to address the new threat. "The manufacture of the Macaroni has no business marketing these weapons to civilians," said Congressman Barney Frank. "The NRA cannot possibly justify their existence."

September 26, 2007, 11:21 PM
Being really clever, I answer, “I dropped my gun.”

well you proved the old adage, "Honesty is the best policy."

Back when I used to carry IWB, I would slip my PT-111 into my insulated lunch bag when riding home from work in my truck to spare myself the "pain in the back", have piece readilly available and yet out of sight.

Sure enough, the stinkin' bag flips over and dumps the piece onto my gravel drive way while walking from the car to the house.

moral of the story....

know your zipper status.

September 26, 2007, 11:21 PM
He's in that awkward phase... Almost an author...

Kinda like my favorite beertender, who is destined to drop a pair of twins in about three months...

Dude. We'll be kind. No red locktite between palm and pistol... Just the duct tape.

September 27, 2007, 12:12 AM
here's a bulgaria story that is somewhat appropriate. i went to BG two years ago for christmas. while i was there, we (GF and I) went to a knife shop. they have a lot of those there. they sell brass knuckles, shuriken, balisongs, etc... all the stuff they ban here in CA. anyway, GF wanted to buy me a folder. i took one look at them and snorted, "eh, these are for tourists... mine is much better." i then proceeded to pull my boker tactical to show her. i carry a knife clipped to the inside of my pants when i don't want to show. the problem was, my fingers slipped and my knife fell straight back down, into my waist and lodged firmly inside my underwear.

me digging into my underwear to get it back out, my GF having to hurriedly explain to the shopgirl in bulgarian why this guy was suddenly digging into his crotch, ensued. :o

September 27, 2007, 12:12 AM
kind of like a young Tony Soprano


When you started out saying you just got done teaching your CFP class, I thought for sure you were going to tell a story about pulling your red, rubber gun on some BG.

BTW, anyone in Utah ought to go take Correia's CFP course (free for university folks!) just to see him run around the room like a madman while waving his rubber gun and/or an imaginary knife.

September 27, 2007, 12:26 AM
I am sorry to here what happened and glad it was not a problem.
How about a review of Halo3? I am not a big video game nut but Halo is awesome!

Jamie C.
September 27, 2007, 12:56 AM
Never assume. Know your gear, especially when you borrow your wife’s stuff.

Tell ya what... you ever see me out with my wife's purse, you just go ahead and shoot me. ;) :p :D
( At least so long as I'm not standing in front of a women's dressing room at the mall... I don't usually have a choice in the matter then. :o )


September 27, 2007, 05:53 AM
Cue Jack Thompson using this story as "evidence" in his lawsuit to ban Halo 3 in 5.. 4.. 3..

But, wow, that must've been embarrassing. Doubly so from the clerks response. And triply so after telling everyone on the internet about it. :neener:

Either way, it's a good thing the clerk didn't think you were robbing the place or something when he saw the flying gun.

September 27, 2007, 06:48 AM
Great Story.

My wife started carrying a Bersa Firestorm 22, in an Uncle Mikes IWB holster. One day rather than put the holster inside her waistband like she was supposed to, she just stuck it in the front pocket of her jeans. Later, she was at the grocery store, and knocked over a couple of boxes of something or other, and bent over to pick it up. At the same time a gentleman bent over to help her.

You guess it, the Bersa fell out of her pocket, and bounced across the floor and landed at the fellows feet. He picked it up, looked at her, and said "uhhh...You dropped your uhhhhh.....gun?" She took it, shoved it back in the holster, mumbled "thank you" and went on shopping.

No more Uncle Mikes IWB for her.

September 27, 2007, 08:59 AM
Ok, I officially spit out my morning pizza slice in response to a HALO3 gun mishap! Correia....good form and by the way GREAT woman you have surprising you with that! My new brother in law (oh...I just got married on September 22nd!) came over about 2 hours after the midnight release and we played until...well a long time....you need a Bubble Shield!

September 27, 2007, 11:31 AM
Good luck with Halo 3, tell us how it plays.
I saw the multiplayer aspect yesterday. A guy bought in a 360 and a wall projector and put it up at lunch. All I can say is, it's awesome.

September 27, 2007, 11:59 AM
OK, home slice.

Go to Wal-Mart or your retailer of choice and drop about $15 or so on the play & charge kit. It includes a rechargeable battery and a charging cable; when the battery runs low, you plug in with the cable and it acts like a corded controller.

Or get the quick charge kit and make sure you have 2 batteries. Or a corded controller. Or rechargeable AAs. Or just buy BIG packs of AAs.

There's no reason to be wearing your wife's clothing....

Big Calhoun
September 27, 2007, 12:05 PM
I wouldn't say what you did was dumb, just an embarassing oversight. Hopefully you've learned and retrained yourself on a few things:

- Always double-check your carry rig
- Rechargable batteries are your friend
- Halo 3 is great, but will still be there no matter when you get home.

Trust, I know the feeling. I picked up my copy from Target the day of release before I came into the office and it sat on my desk, just staring at me and calling my name. I dang near pushed people out of the way to get to the elevator banks at the end of the day and probably broke a few traffic laws trying to get home. It was also my night to cook...I cooked up an on-line order for Pizza Hut. :D

And...if anyone wants to play some Live Halo 3 action, my gamertag is the same as my username.

September 27, 2007, 12:07 PM
fanny pack s****** uk joke :)

September 27, 2007, 12:19 PM
Gots ta love Makarovs. Had one of mine fall out of an Uncle Mike's IWB, landed muzzle-up on its hammer on asphalt. No boom.

I had a security guy tell me that "if the SHTF, we shoot the guys with fanny packs first, vests second". I wear both. Vest covers the 9x18 du jour in a paddle OWB, and the fanny pack holds the BUG.

September 27, 2007, 12:34 PM
littlegator, I'm almost a professional writer. Check my blog linked in my sigline. I'll be taking preorders on my novel in a little bit. I've written for gun magazines too.

Halo 3 is awesome. I've played the last couple of nights. Darn having to actually go to work and stuff!

Flood. That's what shotguns are for. :)

September 27, 2007, 12:43 PM
Heh, woodybrighton, good point.

When our women's study group got a new member from Australia, we all learned to call them waist packs instead of fanny packs. The poor new member just could not stop blushing & giggling otherwise ...

Ain't cross-cultural relations grand!


September 27, 2007, 12:56 PM
Good thing you didn't take a side trip to the public potty and do that.:evil:

"Uhhh, Hon? I gotta get a new pistol for you tomorrow. Y'see ...";)

September 27, 2007, 01:55 PM
I carried a PA63 in a belt slide holster. One day I was in a hurry to get into the local wallyworld I was jogging up to the door. Apparently I was running a bit harder than I thought because my pistol popped out of my holster and hit the sidewalk. I was amazed at how fast I bent over and scooped it up. I don't know if anyone really noticed and I don't think anyone figured out what just happened but I retired that holster that day.

September 27, 2007, 06:14 PM
Dropped your gun eh? Just be glad you didn't accidentally drop a plasma grenade...:neener: hahaha (I'm also a Halo fan)

But yeah, thankfully that happened in a gun friendly area, and not in say California or in the suburbs somewhere surrounded by clueless soccer moms.

September 28, 2007, 01:55 AM
Boy, that must have been embarrassing. Nice to hear it turned out well.

September 28, 2007, 02:15 AM
No one ever died of embarassment.

September 28, 2007, 04:08 PM

Courtesy of Penny Arcade (http://www.penny-arcade.com/). One of the funniest comics on all the internets, if you're a gamer. :D

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